Happy All Hollows Read!

[iki_teru]

A few nights ago, Keri texted me with the brilliant idea that we should do an All Hollows Read story exchange. I readily agreed and then proceeded to procrastinate until Oct 31 to actually write the damn thing. Mainly because I was displaying the incredible inability to decide what to write (one day or another there shall also be a story about

Comments

Critique

[xelioth]

It definitely feels like you did this very last minute. You had me there for a minute in the middle, you nailed the child listening through the doorway and the creepy voice, and by the end of the first sentence, I was reading the accent in Sophia's voice. However, the ending falls pretty flat in comparison, and there were notable points of awkward phrasing. "And even not a someone of appropriate playing-with age" is very difficult to read, and while I get that's how you (we) talk, it's an awkward phrase to process while you're reading. There are a couple other similar such phrasing issues sprinkled in the earlier half of the piece, but the latter half works just fine. You seemed to get into a groove half-way through

Re: Critique

[iki_teru]

parenthetic phrase removed. the awkward phrasing bits have been tweaked where applicable because I think I just self-edit badly and transposed an "a" in between two words that it did not belong between.

Re: Critique

[xelioth]

I hope I wasn't too harsh.... It really isn't bad at all!

[eternal_moonie]

Absolutely AWESOME!!!

[iki_teru]

belated reply is belated.....

THANK YOU FOR READING ♥

[lettersandliars]

HIGH-PITCHED ANIMAL NOISES

THIS IS PERRRRRRFECT I LOVE CREEPY KID STORIES UGH EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH MORE TERRIBLE THROUGH A CHILD'S LENS

THE WORST MONSTERS ARE THE ONES WHO WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND

I LOVE YOU