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[ijk_mno]

He wakes up, and it takes a moment to sort out that yes, it all really happened.

"Matt?"

He feels fuzzy, and like he might be hallucinating. And like if he moves, he'll come apart at the seams.

"Matt, where are you?"

Comments

[gamerspy]

Matt's right at L's side: not in the bed, but on a chair next to him. Two chairs, really; he's got his feet propped up on the other, and he's covered in blankets and pillows. Thanks to Miles and Teru, all he's had to do since L got out of surgery is sit, worry, pace, try not to smoke, and occasionally doze.

Which is what he was doing, but he jerks awake immediately, reaching for L's hand.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm here, man."

[gamerspy]

"You're full of drugs." Matt shifts so that he's sitting, rather than kneeling, on the floor next to the bed. "The appendix is a stupid organ, anyway. Your insides are probably pleased."

[ijk_mno]

"I wonder if I've lost weight. How heavy was it?"

He reaches out, and absently worries a strand of Matt's hair between his fingers.

"What did they do with it?"

[gamerspy]

"I, uh. I'm not sure." He rubs the back of his head. "They wouldn't let me stay in. During the surgery."

[ijk_mno]

"Good. I love you."

But Matt seeing him like that...

"But."

[gamerspy]

"I felt like such an idiot. It's not like - I patched Mello up. I could have helped."

[ijk_mno]

"I want you to always think of me as a person, not a slice of meat and organs."

[gamerspy]

"You're here, aren't you?"

Matt leans in and kisses him, reaching to take L's hand, and L's here, he's here and he's fine and suddenly he feels this close to crying.

"Jesus, man, I'm so--"

[ijk_mno]

"Lie down with me." He smiles, and amends, "But carefully."

He looks up at the ceiling, because otherwise he'll be crying too. It doesn't work; when he blinks, tears well out, and trickle along his temples. He wipes at them, looking slightly embarassed.

[gamerspy]

He nods, climbing cautiously onto the bed. He pushes his goggles off too; his eyes are pretty red, but he'd feel weird lying next to L while they're still on.

"I was - I was worried," he whispers, wrapping an arm gingerly around L's middle, making sure to keep well away from the stitches.

[ijk_mno]

"It was close, wasn't it?"

He rubs his thumb along the circles under Matt's eyes.

[gamerspy]

"Yeah. A little."

They were cutting his boyfriend up on the kitchen table. Matt figures that's close enough in and of itself.

[ijk_mno]

"A little." Oh God.

"Can't get rid of me that easily."

[gamerspy]

"Oh no," Matt says, softly. He presses a kiss against L's shoulder.

"I love you. I love you so much."

[ijk_mno]

"Matt."

Sliding an arm around him, with a little sigh.

"I'm glad it's over."

[gamerspy]

"It might be a while before you're - you know, running around and shit."

Considering the circumstances.