FIC, 5 Times Dean Winchester Did Not Get Knocked Up
Title: 5 Times Dean Winchester Did Not Get Knocked Up
Pairing: Implied Dean/Males
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Crackfic!
Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural. I fear for Dean’s ass if I did. ^__~
1.
Dean says, “Fucking fertility-goddess bitch! I’m gonna kill her.”
Sam says, “Cheer up, Dean. You’re gonna be a mom!”
Dean throws the pregnancy test at him and sulks for the rest of the day.
2.
“Hypothetically speaking,” says Dean. “What would happen if I, let’s say-touched it?”
“Please tell me you did not touch the freaky cursed object,” says Sam.
“No, no, I didn’t,” says Dean. “But if I did. The, uh, curse wouldn’t work on me, right? Because I’m a man. And men don’t get pregnant.”
“I guess you would be fine,” says Sam, thinking it over. “I mean, I’ve never heard of a curse powerful enough to do that, anyway.”
“Oh, thank God,” says Dean.
**********************************************************
“I kind of want some pickles and ice cream,” says Dean.
“What,” says Sam. “Like, together?”
“With sprinkles,” says Dean. “And maybe some Doritos.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” says Sam. “With all these weird things you’ve been eating lately, it’s no wonder you’ve been throwing up so much.”
“I’m fine,” says Dean, grunting as he zippers up his jeans.
**********************************************************
“I thought you said you didn’t touch it!” says Sam.
“I thought you said nothing freaky was gonna happen even if I did!” says Dean.
“What, all-of-a-sudden I’m the leading authority?” says Sam.
“Goddamn it,” says Dean, touching his hand to the tiny, rounded swell of his stomach.
3.
“Since when do goddamn incubi impregnate men?” demands Dean.
4.
“Of all the stupid things to say-!” says Sam.
“I didn’t know it was there!” says Dean. “It’s not my fault the fucker had good hearing.”
Silence. Finally:
“Genies suck,” says Dean.
5.
Dean wakes up as a girl one morning, and, well…
The condom tears.
Pairing: Implied Dean/Males
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Crackfic!
Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural. I fear for Dean’s ass if I did. ^__~
1.
Dean says, “Fucking fertility-goddess bitch! I’m gonna kill her.”
Sam says, “Cheer up, Dean. You’re gonna be a mom!”
Dean throws the pregnancy test at him and sulks for the rest of the day.
2.
“Hypothetically speaking,” says Dean. “What would happen if I, let’s say-touched it?”
“Please tell me you did not touch the freaky cursed object,” says Sam.
“No, no, I didn’t,” says Dean. “But if I did. The, uh, curse wouldn’t work on me, right? Because I’m a man. And men don’t get pregnant.”
“I guess you would be fine,” says Sam, thinking it over. “I mean, I’ve never heard of a curse powerful enough to do that, anyway.”
“Oh, thank God,” says Dean.
**********************************************************
“I kind of want some pickles and ice cream,” says Dean.
“What,” says Sam. “Like, together?”
“With sprinkles,” says Dean. “And maybe some Doritos.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” says Sam. “With all these weird things you’ve been eating lately, it’s no wonder you’ve been throwing up so much.”
“I’m fine,” says Dean, grunting as he zippers up his jeans.
**********************************************************
“I thought you said you didn’t touch it!” says Sam.
“I thought you said nothing freaky was gonna happen even if I did!” says Dean.
“What, all-of-a-sudden I’m the leading authority?” says Sam.
“Goddamn it,” says Dean, touching his hand to the tiny, rounded swell of his stomach.
3.
“Since when do goddamn incubi impregnate men?” demands Dean.
4.
“Of all the stupid things to say-!” says Sam.
“I didn’t know it was there!” says Dean. “It’s not my fault the fucker had good hearing.”
Silence. Finally:
“Genies suck,” says Dean.
5.
Dean wakes up as a girl one morning, and, well…
The condom tears.