[fic] Trial of the Absurd
Title: Trial of the Absurd
Authors: s1nfulxs0ul andsenseikk
Length: Oneshot (4,858 words)
Pairing: Yunjae/Jaeho, Yoosu
Rating: PG for flirting
Genre: AU (lawverse!), Humor, Crack
Summary: It was the trial of the century when billionaire Max Changmin becomes the suspect of a robbery case. Together with his lawyer, Kim Jaejoong, they try to clear his name. However, Yoochun and Junsu prove to be an obstacle against the youngests' innocence.
Warnings: Inspired by mock trials and the literary genre: theater of the absurd.
A fancy, black Mercedes Benz pulled up to the driveway of the high court. Immediately, the news reporters and paparazzi flooded the lot and surrounded the vehicle. The cameras flashed violently as the car door slowly opened.
“Mr. Shim Changmin, what do you say to these accusations?”
“Lawyer Kim Jaejoong, do have confidence in this case?”
Two men emerged from the car each looking exceptionally stylish in their brand name suits and glasses. The wave of reporters shoved their mike into the men’s faces.
“Please Changmin,” begged an anchor from KCNN, “give us an answer. Did you do it?”
Jaejoong answered in place of his client, “Does he look like he’s the culprit? Of course! But it doesn’t matter what I think because he is innocent! All that matters is the judge’s decision, and I will do everything in my power to disprove that pompous prosecution attorney, Park Yoochun.”
As the two stepped forward to the entrance of the courtroom, the reporters parted like the Red Sea. At the door, their opponent was already waiting with his arms folded across his chest. The two lawyers came face to face, and the battle was on.
“Kim Jaejoong,” Yoochun said darkly.
“Park Yoochun,” replied the older man with equal menace.
“Are you ready to go down?” spoke Yoochun with an air of confidence. “Oh? I see you’re already wearing your loser suit.”
“You’re wearing the same brand smart-ass,” countered Changmin calmly followed by Jaejoong’s smugged, “What he said!”
Yoochun smirked and ignored the two while he headed to the courtroom where the press was already seated. Pen and paper were out and ready to jot down notes from the most controversial trial of the century. The two parties settled at their respective places across each other, and the crowd clamored excitedly.
“Do you think he did it?” came a whisper.
“No way!! Max Changmin is a billionaire. He doesn’t need to steal!”
“Well you never know.”
At that moment, the big, oak doors opened and the charismatic judge waltzed to the podium. Cheers erupted from the crowd, and Jaejoong was one of the many who whistled. The magnae stared at his immature hyung with utter disbelief.
“What?! He’s hot!” defended the older man.
Rolling his eyes, Changmin insisted his hyung to act like a professional attorney.
“All rise for the honorable Judge Jung Yunho!” The room shook with the rising of the audience.
“Now everyone sit back down!” Immediately the people returned to their seat, and silence overtook the courtroom.
Yunho cleared his throat and spoke, “We are all gathered here today to witness the trial of billionaire Max Changmin vs. Sears enterprise. Would the prosecution please deliver your opening statement?”
Upon the order, Yoochun stood up and walked to the front. He looked directly into the jury and began his passionate speech.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the court, on Tuesday June 27th, 2009, at the home appliances department of Sears, branch 6927, a terrible crime occurred. At 2 AM sharp, a man was seen breaking into the store, wearing a ski mask-a very expensive one too, I might add. At approximately 2:05 AM, security guard, Kim Junsu, who was carrying out his nightly shift, noticed a refrigerator missing. Dun-dun-dun…" A series of gasps came from the crowd. Yoochun continued dramatically, “It was the newest model, the Refrigerator TSC, made of pure steel and Teflon, resistant to heat, economically-friendly, and kid-safe. All for the low price of $25,000. And this culprit is none other than….” He paused to build suspense, pointing his finger accusingly at the young man besides Jaejoong. “Max Changmin!!” The crowd went wild, and Yunho had to use his gravel to keep order. “And today, I, in the name of justice, will restore the honor of Sears enterprise which has provided countless citizens of Korea with affordable, cheap home appliances. Max Changmin, you will go to jail!! Thank you your honor; that is all.”
The people of the court rose to their feet in standing ovation, close to tears and obviously moved by Yoochun’s words. Clapping was heard across the room. Changmin looked to his side, horrified by the sight of his own attorney cheering with the crowd.
“Great speech,” applauded Jaejoong energetically. “I couldn’t have done better.”
“Hyung!!” protested Changmin in disgust. “You are defending me! Shouldn’t you be threatened?!!”
Jaejoong sighed, “But it was so moving! I couldn’t help it.”
Changmin fell back to his chair, dejected. This was going to be a long day.
Once the cheers receded, Yunho continued with the trial.
“Will the defense please deliver your opening statement?”
With confidence, Jaejoong stood up and gave Changmin an assured nod. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I totally got this.” He swiftly walked to the front of the room and approached the handsome judge. Sighing wearily, he began his speech:
“Ladies, gentlemen, and the honorable judge, today, the prosecution side would have you believe that a single refrigerator costs a mere $25,000. However,” he paused for dramatic effect again, “do they know how much $25,000 really is? Do they know how to count?! It’s not just $24,999.99 plus one cent. Nor is it 5 times 5,000 because who could possibly make $5,000 a month for 5 consecutive months? Tell me, ladies and gentlemen, honorable judge, does this make any sense at all?”
Changmin was flabbergasted by the nonsense spilling out of his attorney’s mouth. Eyes slightly twitching, he continued to give his full attention to his confident lawyer.
“With such ridiculous prices, Sears enterprise is basically asking people to steal. They are tempting the criminal class to rob, for they are playing on the desires of the poor innocent families who cannot afford fridges. Have you ever been a victim of these unsettling, negative feelings? So is it really Mr. Max Changmin’s fault that he stole the fridge? Or is it the fridge’s fault for being so expensive that he has to steal it? There is no sense in this at all. In reality, we are living in a very materialistic world. We want things because everyone else has it. We buy for buying’s sake. Your honor, is this madness??!! No!! Because we are living in an existential world. Why does it matter that he stole it or not? Maybe the fridge wanted to be stolen. Who knows! There is moral ambiguity at work here. And I, Kim Jaejoong, will prove the innocence of Max Changmin. Thank you.”
Once booming with the cheers for Park Yoochun, the courtroom was now dead silent with the chirping of distant crickets. The audience was appalled, not understanding how any of Jaejoong’s statements connected with the case. Wide eyes followed the lawyer as he retreated triumphantly and smugly towards his seat where he gave his client a playful punch on the shoulder.
“Wasn’t that great? I dominated that round. And I think I saw Yoochun crying.”
Changmin shook his head in disbelief. “He was crying from laughter hyung.. laughter.” The defendant didn’t know whether to laugh at his lawyer’s absurdity or to cry knowing that he was going to jail.
Yunho cleared his throat, “Well let us get back to the matter. Can the prosecution please call upon your first witness?”
Yoochun stood again and announced, “I would like to call security guard Kim Junsu to the stand.”
A cheerful and bright looking man emerged from the audience to take his place at the podium, and Yoochun opened his folder to see a close-up photo of Kim Junsu.
“Whoa! That’s a nice profile picture!” he commented out loud. As he looked up to face the witness, Yoochun thought he heard angels singing. “Man, you look even better in person,” he whispered dreamily. Junsu, whose ears had caught the lawyer’s words, blushed madly.
“I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”
“Hold your horses Mr. Kim Junsu. We didn’t ask you yet,” came Yunho’s stern voice.
“Oh I’m so sorry sir. I’m just nervous today. It’s my first time at court you know. And I don’t usually swear, but I’m making an exception today f-for,” Junsu paused to hold up his fists for emphasis, “for justice!”
At the side, Yoochun giggled at his witness’s cuteness.
“Very well. Korea thanks you for your cooperation. Now, Mr. Kim, do you swear to tell the truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the truth?”
Placing his right hand on the bible, Junsu replied enthusiastically, “Yes your honor! I swear to tell the truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the truth! Cross my eye, hope to die, and stick a needle in my eye!”
“Well now that that’s taken care of, Mr. Park Yoochun, will you please begin your questioning?”
“Of course your honor.”
The serious Yoochun got up from his seat and made his way towards security guard Kim Junsu. Leaning on the podium, he dramatically flipped his healthy jet black hair and shot the smaller man his most greasy smile to date.
“Mr. Kim, may I call you Junsu?” he asked, voice already brimming with affection.
“S-sure.”
“Junsu, where were you on the night of June 27th 2009? Where would you be at such a late hour? What were you doing? What did you see? Where did you go? And where will you be at approximately 6:00 PM today?”
“W-which question should I answer first?” asked the overwhelmed witness.
Feigning this innocence, Yoochun paused to think on it. “How about the last one first?”
“I-I don’t know where I’ll be at six.”
“Well I know where you’ll be Kim Junsu. You’ll be having dinner with me at Yoosu restaurant.”
“And what’s your employee number? What Sears branch do you work at?” Yoochun continued with the serious questioning. “Was it something like 5927? 6927? And does that happen to be the last 4 digits of your number? If not, can I have the whole thing?”
Yoochun gave Junsu a playful wink and smirk, forcing Junsu to look to the ground in shyness. The lawyer’s inner fanboy screamed at the sight of such an adorable image.
While the newly formed couple flirted at the stand, the defendant nudged his own lawyer.
“Say something Jaejoong hyung!” Changmin hissed under his breath. “You should have objected to those absurd questions! Everyone can see that Yoochun is only flirting with that damn witness.”
Jaejoong scoffed knowingly. “I can see why. If I was him, I’d do that too. Damn, that Yoochun is smart and lucky. Too bad we can’t interrogate that handsome Yunho over there. Tis pity he’s the judge.”
As he heard a high-pitched giggle, Changmin turned his attention back to the witness stand to see Kim Junsu and Park Yoochun blatantly exchanging flirtatious comments with one another.
“Oh Mr. Park, you flatter me. Your eyes are much more beautiful,” Junsu winked for emphasis.
“Aw, that’s sweet, but we both know they’re nothing compared to your luscious lips,”
“Oh stop it, Mr. Park. You’re embarrassing me with your sweet, sugary words,” with that, Junsu entered another fit of giggles. “If we’re talking about attractive features, no one can beat your perfectly-sculpted nose.”
Changmin gagged, and before Yoochun could compliment any other features on Junsu, Changmin stood up abruptly to object.
“Objection, your honor! These are irrelevant questions coming from the prosecution side!” he fumed.
“I appreciate your active interest in the law, Mr. Changmin. However, let me remind you of your position in my court as a defendant, therefore not privileged to object. That is the responsibility of your lawyer,” Yunho reminded him.
Changmin turned to his attorney and gave him a glare as if to say ‘Well, what are you waiting for?’
Taking the hint, Jaejoong shot out of his seat,
“Yes, your honor! I object!”
“For what reason are you objecting?”
Pausing to gather his thought, and found none, Jaejoong whispered to his client.
“Min, why are we objecting again?”
“For irrelevance!” Changmin growled in reply.
“Oh I see... Judge Jung Yunho,” Jaejoong started softly, “Yoochun’s questions are totally out of the ball park, landing possibly in the ball park next to it, but nowhere near it. They have no relevance to the case presented.”
“Yoochun, do you have anything to say to that?” Yunho turned to Yoochun.
“No your honor, I was just testing my opponents. Seems to me that they’re not on top of things,” Yoochun smirked, “Now I will begin the actual questioning.”
He lifted his finger to fix a stray hair and resumed.
“Now that we’ve established perfection, my lovely Kim Junsu, please point out who you saw at the crime scene, with the stolen refrigerator.”
Junsu raised his hand and pointed accusingly at the young billionaire.
“Him. Max Changmin did it. It’s him!” Junsu swooned, placing the back of his hand to his forehead, “I can never forget that face.”
The crowd gasped, a reaction Yoochun was expecting.
“Good. Was there anyone else at the crime scene?”
“No, he was alone. With the refrigerator! In fact, I found him inside the refrigerator!”
“I rest my case, your honor.”
The crowd buzzed in excitement once again, debating silently whether not Changmin was the culprit. Their thoughts were interrupted when Yunho slammed his gravel down.
“Silence! Mr. Kim Jaejoong, you may now begin your cross-examination of the witness.”
“Thank you your most handsome honorable honor,” Jaejoong rose and reassured his client, “Trust me.”
Changmin nodded, despite the firm conviction that he was already guilty in the eyes of the public. Jaejoong gave him one last wink before approaching the witness. Slamming his hand suddenly on the hard wood of the witness stand, Jaejoong began his cross-examination.
“I didn’t quite catch the number you gave Yoochun earlier, do you mind repeating it again?”
“Which number? My home phone or my cell phone? Or was it my house number and address?” Junsu asked innocently.
“For the sake of this case, I request that you give me all of them.”
“Objection your honor!” Yoochun declared angrily from where he was sitting, “For flirting in court. With a witness who is obviously taken no less.”
“What a ridiculous notion your honor! I was not flirting. Flirting would be something like this,” he exclaimed and looked passionately at Yunho. “I didn’t notice earlier, but judge Yunho, you’re one attractive man. Under the right light, dare I say it, you would look even more handsome than me. Especially that beauty mark above your lips, it truly brings out… your eyes.”
“Why… thank you.” Yunho said, visibly flattered.
“I’m not done yet,” he came closer and grasped Yunho’s hand in his, “And these. These meticulously manicured hands, how they firmly grab the gravel of justice. How pretty your hands are, but they would look better when they’re in mine. See how my snow white and creamy skin contrasts against your nice, manly and masculine tan.”
Changmin grinned in his seat, feeling his chances going up as Yunho seemed to be lost in his lawyer’s words. He finally understood the tactics it took to win his case, and he finally found it reassuring that Jaejoong was his lawyer.
“Objection your honor! Jaejoong is… seducing you!” Yoochun screamed.
“Shh,” Yunho motioned with his hand for Yoochun to stop, “let him go on.”
“I’m sure we would both want to go on, but my dear judge, let’s save it for later,” Jaejoong lowered his voice to a seductive whisper and then turned back to the audience, “And that is flirting. As you can see ladies and gentlemen, I was not flirting with the witness as Yoochun ridiculously stated in his ridiculous objection. Ridiculous!”
Turning back to Junsu, Jaejoong carried on with his questioning,
“Now, you stated earlier that you saw only Mr. Changmin at the crime scene, inside the stolen refrigerator. How is it possible that there was only one person at the crime scene, when you were also there to witness him being there… at the crime scene! What are you implying, Mr. Kim Junsu? That you weren’t there at the crime scene? If you were not at the crime scene, how could you have seen Changmin there? Is it possibly because you were invisible at the crime scene? Then in that case, are you super human? Perhaps not of this world? Thus, not qualified to be sitting at this podium? Answer me!”
Tears were brimming Junsu’s eyes, “What kind of questions are these? I’m so confused!” He looked over to Yoochun with a helpless look.
“Objection your honor! For badgering the witness,” Yoochun’s heart quivered at the sight that resembled a crying dolphin, “Look at him, he needs a shoulder to cry on. I volunteer!”
He was about to rush to Junsu’s side to offer his shoulders when Yunho stopped him with a fixed, dreamy gaze on Jaejoong. Obviously he hasn't recovered from his trance.
“No, let Jaejoong continue. Jaejoong, do go on.”
“Well? Answer me, Junsu. Are you lying when you said that Changmin was the only person present at the scene of the crime?”
“Yes, yes! I was lying. I was also at the scene. One plus one is two, how could I have forgotten?” Junsu broke down in his seat.
“Very well, I rest my case.” Jaejoong said and returned to his seat. He gave his client a high-five, in which Changmin eagerly responded.
“I believed in you. I always have.” Changmin said to his lawyer, and turned to smirk at the sight of Yoochun calming down the broken witness.
After Junsu and Yoochun left the podium, Yunho summoned Changmin to the stand and his lawyer to question him.
“Mr. Max Changmin, please put your hand on the Bible and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
“Sorry your honor, I’m an atheist.”
“Oh, alright. You don’t have to swear then.”
“I’ll make this short, Changmin,” Jaejoong cleared his throat, “Did you do it?”
“No.”
“Thank you, your honor.”
“Now you Yoochun. Please start your cross examination.”
“Mr. Changmin, what was the ‘it’ that you and Jaejoong were referring to? Is ‘it’ the crime? Is it an acronym? Perhaps ‘it’ stands for International Technology? Or is ‘it’ your latest tactic of avoiding the real issue at hand? The fact is, Jaejoong’s question was simply too vague to determine that you were not involved in this crime.”
Just when Changmin was about to pay a compliment to Yoochun’s sharp analysis, Yoochun broke down.
“And what was your ‘no’ referring to Max Changmin? What does it stand for? What relation does it have with the ‘it’ that Jaejoong was referring to earlier? Is it another one of your secret codes that you are throwing out to confuse the audience? Since Jaejoong’s ‘it’ was unclear, as it stands your ‘no’ is also ambiguous if not downright misleading! What do you have to say now?”
“I think you’re over analyzing things. Why not just take things for what it means?”
“What was that ‘it’?”
Changmin snorted, exasperated.
“To clear your misunderstanding, ‘it’ refers to the crime, and ‘no’ obviously refers to ‘No, I didn’t do the crime’. Does that answer your question, Mr. Yoochun?”
“That’s what you want us to believe, don’t you? Well, answer this: Where were you on Tuesday June 27th, 2009 at 2:00 AM?”
“Well, at 1:30 AM, I was leaving the club to head home. Before I made it to my car, however, someone knocked me out from behind, I barely saw it coming. I was out cold, until, Mr. Kim Junsu there,” he pointed dramatically at Junsu, “opened the fridge and woke me up.”
Do you have the wound from this attack to prove it?”
“Fortunately, I have a thick skull, so the damage has been recovered.” Changmin smoothed out his hair and sighed.
“Why should we believe that such an attack exist at all when there is no evidence or witness to it. Then again, must things be seen or heard to truly exist. If a tree falls in the wood with no people around to see or hear it fall, did it fall? I don’t know about you, but it didn’t fall in my opinion! Therefore, the attack you described never happen if there was no witness to see or hear it! You are obviously lying, Mr. Changmin.”
“I’m not lying. It is the truth. Someone had obviously kidnapped me due to my wealth, and put me in a refrigerator.”
“Oh, how absurd. I suppose the next thing you’re going to tell me is that they put you there because the poor convict had no real jail cell!”
Yoochun turned to Judge Yunho before Changmin could retort and announced,
“Your honor, Max Changmin has no alibi, no witness, no evidence of this supposed attack, or anything that indicate that he was not the criminal who stole the fridge. Therefore, his testimony today should not be taken seriously. Thank you your honor.”
Jaejoong shot out of his seat immediately as Yoochun sat down.
“I would like to make a rebuttal to Mr. Yoochun’s claim!”
“Of course,” Yunho agreed sweetly. “Go on Jaejoong, go on.”
“Changmin, how rich do you consider yourself?”
“Bill Gate rich. Do you have to ask?” Changmin answered automatically.
“How much will you be paying me?”
“Depends on whether I end up in jail or not.” He replied simply.
“Did you hear that your honor?” Jaejoong turned to Yunho, “He said ‘it depends’! Do you know what that means? That means it’s uncertain, it’s variable, it’s wild, it’s free, it’s random, it’s anything Changmin wants it to be! He did not specify a price because his wealth is limitless, he will be able to give me any amount I ask for as payment!”
“Hey! Where are you going with this?”
Jaejoong continued on as if he didn’t hear Changmin,
“Since Changmin is so rich, he has no motive to steal this mundane fridge made of Teflon and stainless steel when he could have easily bought a gilded refrigerator with a swipe of his card. And the fact that he was attacked was also a possibility. Why? Because Mr. Max Changmin is nortorious for his wealth, his looks, and his… smartness! Do you, Mr. Changmin, believe that you possess these traits that can drive a person to kidnap you?”
“But of course.”
“And do you think that your kidnapper is present here today, trying to frame you, so that he could get away with kidnapping you as well as the robbery of the TSC refrigerator?”
“Um… possibly?”
“Exactly!! And who has been attacking you constantly today?”
“Ahh…. Yoochun?”
“NO!! I meant someone who was AT the crime scene.”
“Junsu?”
“Exactly! You read my mind. You are indeed a genius Max Changmin.” Turning to the judge, he continued, “As you see your honorable honor, there were only two people at the crime scene. Junsu claimed that Changmin stole the fridge. While Changmin’s story suggests the opposite! And what more, there were no other witnesses at the crime scene. This means that one of them has to be the culprit. But given that Changmin has no motive, while Junsu is lower class and possibly struggling to make a decent living, it is clear that Junsu is more likely to steal a refrigerator and kidnap Changmin.”
Across the room, Junsu gasped, scandalized.
“I’m innocent!” he shouted from his seat. The reporters turned towards the new suspect.
“Order in the court!” Yunho banged his gravel.
“Yes your honorable honor, I rest my case.”
At the prosecution’s side, Yoochun paled and went over his paper work for any errors once again, trying to figure out what just happened. The tables have turned but he didn’t know why or how.
“The case has went on too long.”
“It’s only been an hour,” someone yelled from the crowd.
“Fifty-five minutes too long. So if we could please move on to the closing statements. Jaejoong, please deliver your last words.”
“It may be the last words in this court, your honorable honor, but I’ll see you after.” He winked at Yunho and returned to the crowd.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Today we have witnessed drama, love, betrayal, crime, existentialism, but most importantly innocence. Where do we see this innocence? Why in Changmin, the face of wealth, beauty, success, and innocence! He never stole the fridge. He has no motive as the richest man in Korea. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn’t his fault that the money hungry Kim Junsu, whose greed drove him to the cliff of insanity,”
“Hey!” Junsu yelled indignantly.
“Resulted to kidnapping and framing a perfectly innocent victim. In the name of justice, I ask the jury, the press, the honorable judge, to deem my client not guilty of this ridiculous charge. Instead you should be throwing the charge onto Junsu for being the greedy, money hungry, selfish man that he is. I rest my case.”
Yunho clapped enthusiastically but immediately stopped when he noticed no one else following his example.
“Ahem... Yoochun, your turn for the closing statement.”
Yoochun rose from his seat and turned to the crowd.
“As I stated before, Changmin’s kidnapping story cannot be believed. There were no witnesses or evidence that suggested the attack happened. Without these evidences, his innocence is questionable. He is merely trying to cover up the robbery that he committed. Moreover, the defendant has taken up the tactic of framing Kim Junsu for the crime. What an underhanded and low move they had pulled. Not only did they seduce the gullible judge,”
“Hey!” Yunho exclaimed.
“But they have also resorted to such a dirty plan as to pin the whole crime on an innocent bystander like Kim Junsu. Just because he’s poor doesn’t mean that he wants the fridge. Plus why would he steal from his own company? That would be like stealing from himself! While Mr. Changmin is rich enough to steal from himself. So if anything, he’s the one who is most likely to steal the fridge! Kim Junsu is innocent and Max Changmin is guilty! Your honor, I rest my case.”
“Perfect, we will now have a recess while the jury decides the verdict.”
As people from the crowd emptied the courtroom to get refreshments and to take their bathroom breaks, Changmin remained by his attorney’s side.
“How sure are you?”
“I don’t know… Things can go either way right now.”
In the distant, Yunho waved at Jaejoong and blew him a kiss. Jaejoong pretended to catch it and turned back to Changmin,
“Actually, I think I got this one in the bag.”
“Let’s hope so…”
On Yoochun’s side, Junsu was terrified.
“Am I going to jail?”
“I’m sure my wit and good looks will get us out of this. Changmin and Jaejoong are going down!”
He looked over to where the judge sat and saw Yunho throw a kiss at Jaejoong, who caught it flirtatiously.
“Actually… I’m having second thoughts about your freedom.”
“What?”
After several minutes, the jury returned.
“We, the jury of case #0627 has decided in a vote of five to four that Max Changmin is…”
Everyone in the courtroom held their breaths.
“Innocent!”
Jaejoong’s side leaped out from their chairs for joy. Changmin hugged his lawyer and high-fived him. Yoochun’s side, however, paled in shock and grumbled in defeat.
“Also,” the jury continued, “we have decided that Kim Junsu should be retained for further investigation.”
“No!” came Junsu’s distinct wail when the police men appeared by his side to drag him off. “I didn’t do it! I’m innocent!” He cried to Yoochun, “Do something Yoochun!”
Yoochun sighed woefully as he wiped the tears from Junsu’s eyes.
“I’m sorry Junsu, I tried my best. But in a courtroom this absurd, we have to expect the unexpected, the possibility that nonsense can overcome facts. There is nothing left to do. Farewell my love. I will wait for you. And I will always love you even if you are a criminal.”
“I’m not a criminal!” Junsu cried again.
“That’s what they all say! But I still love you!” Yoochun’s hand left Junsu’s as he was pulled out the doors. From this chapter of his life, Yoochun resolved to never return to this courtroom again. He packed up and left.
Meanwhile, Changmin invited Jaejoong to his victory party.
“Sorry, I won’t be able to make it to your party. I have a date with the judge afterward,” Jaejoong said while glancing at Yunho, who was waiting patiently at the door.
“Alright then. Send me the bill for your service. I’ll see you around.”
After the trial, Changmin got onto his limo and left behind the absurdity he just faced. It took fifteen minutes of the car ride for him to return to his mansion. Going pass the high security, Changmin made his way to his underground dungeon. He turned on the lights and a field of refrigerators appeared from the darkness. Refrigerators lined up against each other as far as the eye could see. Taking out an apple from one of the fridges, Changmin said to himself,
“TSC, I may not have you now, but mark my words, I will have you next time.”
And an evil laugh rang out from the billionaire's dungeons.
Fin
A/n: Don't get me wrong, we (s1nfulxs0ul andsenseikk) absolutely LOVE Junsu. ^^ But it was just too tempting to have this ending >.< May there be many more collabs in the future s1nfulxs0ul. How about a 2PM one next? X3
And if this made you laugh, please comment!!!
Authors: s1nfulxs0ul andsenseikk
Length: Oneshot (4,858 words)
Pairing: Yunjae/Jaeho, Yoosu
Rating: PG for flirting
Genre: AU (lawverse!), Humor, Crack
Summary: It was the trial of the century when billionaire Max Changmin becomes the suspect of a robbery case. Together with his lawyer, Kim Jaejoong, they try to clear his name. However, Yoochun and Junsu prove to be an obstacle against the youngests' innocence.
Warnings: Inspired by mock trials and the literary genre: theater of the absurd.
A fancy, black Mercedes Benz pulled up to the driveway of the high court. Immediately, the news reporters and paparazzi flooded the lot and surrounded the vehicle. The cameras flashed violently as the car door slowly opened.
“Mr. Shim Changmin, what do you say to these accusations?”
“Lawyer Kim Jaejoong, do have confidence in this case?”
Two men emerged from the car each looking exceptionally stylish in their brand name suits and glasses. The wave of reporters shoved their mike into the men’s faces.
“Please Changmin,” begged an anchor from KCNN, “give us an answer. Did you do it?”
Jaejoong answered in place of his client, “Does he look like he’s the culprit? Of course! But it doesn’t matter what I think because he is innocent! All that matters is the judge’s decision, and I will do everything in my power to disprove that pompous prosecution attorney, Park Yoochun.”
As the two stepped forward to the entrance of the courtroom, the reporters parted like the Red Sea. At the door, their opponent was already waiting with his arms folded across his chest. The two lawyers came face to face, and the battle was on.
“Kim Jaejoong,” Yoochun said darkly.
“Park Yoochun,” replied the older man with equal menace.
“Are you ready to go down?” spoke Yoochun with an air of confidence. “Oh? I see you’re already wearing your loser suit.”
“You’re wearing the same brand smart-ass,” countered Changmin calmly followed by Jaejoong’s smugged, “What he said!”
Yoochun smirked and ignored the two while he headed to the courtroom where the press was already seated. Pen and paper were out and ready to jot down notes from the most controversial trial of the century. The two parties settled at their respective places across each other, and the crowd clamored excitedly.
“Do you think he did it?” came a whisper.
“No way!! Max Changmin is a billionaire. He doesn’t need to steal!”
“Well you never know.”
At that moment, the big, oak doors opened and the charismatic judge waltzed to the podium. Cheers erupted from the crowd, and Jaejoong was one of the many who whistled. The magnae stared at his immature hyung with utter disbelief.
“What?! He’s hot!” defended the older man.
Rolling his eyes, Changmin insisted his hyung to act like a professional attorney.
“All rise for the honorable Judge Jung Yunho!” The room shook with the rising of the audience.
“Now everyone sit back down!” Immediately the people returned to their seat, and silence overtook the courtroom.
Yunho cleared his throat and spoke, “We are all gathered here today to witness the trial of billionaire Max Changmin vs. Sears enterprise. Would the prosecution please deliver your opening statement?”
Upon the order, Yoochun stood up and walked to the front. He looked directly into the jury and began his passionate speech.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the court, on Tuesday June 27th, 2009, at the home appliances department of Sears, branch 6927, a terrible crime occurred. At 2 AM sharp, a man was seen breaking into the store, wearing a ski mask-a very expensive one too, I might add. At approximately 2:05 AM, security guard, Kim Junsu, who was carrying out his nightly shift, noticed a refrigerator missing. Dun-dun-dun…" A series of gasps came from the crowd. Yoochun continued dramatically, “It was the newest model, the Refrigerator TSC, made of pure steel and Teflon, resistant to heat, economically-friendly, and kid-safe. All for the low price of $25,000. And this culprit is none other than….” He paused to build suspense, pointing his finger accusingly at the young man besides Jaejoong. “Max Changmin!!” The crowd went wild, and Yunho had to use his gravel to keep order. “And today, I, in the name of justice, will restore the honor of Sears enterprise which has provided countless citizens of Korea with affordable, cheap home appliances. Max Changmin, you will go to jail!! Thank you your honor; that is all.”
The people of the court rose to their feet in standing ovation, close to tears and obviously moved by Yoochun’s words. Clapping was heard across the room. Changmin looked to his side, horrified by the sight of his own attorney cheering with the crowd.
“Great speech,” applauded Jaejoong energetically. “I couldn’t have done better.”
“Hyung!!” protested Changmin in disgust. “You are defending me! Shouldn’t you be threatened?!!”
Jaejoong sighed, “But it was so moving! I couldn’t help it.”
Changmin fell back to his chair, dejected. This was going to be a long day.
Once the cheers receded, Yunho continued with the trial.
“Will the defense please deliver your opening statement?”
With confidence, Jaejoong stood up and gave Changmin an assured nod. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I totally got this.” He swiftly walked to the front of the room and approached the handsome judge. Sighing wearily, he began his speech:
“Ladies, gentlemen, and the honorable judge, today, the prosecution side would have you believe that a single refrigerator costs a mere $25,000. However,” he paused for dramatic effect again, “do they know how much $25,000 really is? Do they know how to count?! It’s not just $24,999.99 plus one cent. Nor is it 5 times 5,000 because who could possibly make $5,000 a month for 5 consecutive months? Tell me, ladies and gentlemen, honorable judge, does this make any sense at all?”
Changmin was flabbergasted by the nonsense spilling out of his attorney’s mouth. Eyes slightly twitching, he continued to give his full attention to his confident lawyer.
“With such ridiculous prices, Sears enterprise is basically asking people to steal. They are tempting the criminal class to rob, for they are playing on the desires of the poor innocent families who cannot afford fridges. Have you ever been a victim of these unsettling, negative feelings? So is it really Mr. Max Changmin’s fault that he stole the fridge? Or is it the fridge’s fault for being so expensive that he has to steal it? There is no sense in this at all. In reality, we are living in a very materialistic world. We want things because everyone else has it. We buy for buying’s sake. Your honor, is this madness??!! No!! Because we are living in an existential world. Why does it matter that he stole it or not? Maybe the fridge wanted to be stolen. Who knows! There is moral ambiguity at work here. And I, Kim Jaejoong, will prove the innocence of Max Changmin. Thank you.”
Once booming with the cheers for Park Yoochun, the courtroom was now dead silent with the chirping of distant crickets. The audience was appalled, not understanding how any of Jaejoong’s statements connected with the case. Wide eyes followed the lawyer as he retreated triumphantly and smugly towards his seat where he gave his client a playful punch on the shoulder.
“Wasn’t that great? I dominated that round. And I think I saw Yoochun crying.”
Changmin shook his head in disbelief. “He was crying from laughter hyung.. laughter.” The defendant didn’t know whether to laugh at his lawyer’s absurdity or to cry knowing that he was going to jail.
Yunho cleared his throat, “Well let us get back to the matter. Can the prosecution please call upon your first witness?”
Yoochun stood again and announced, “I would like to call security guard Kim Junsu to the stand.”
A cheerful and bright looking man emerged from the audience to take his place at the podium, and Yoochun opened his folder to see a close-up photo of Kim Junsu.
“Whoa! That’s a nice profile picture!” he commented out loud. As he looked up to face the witness, Yoochun thought he heard angels singing. “Man, you look even better in person,” he whispered dreamily. Junsu, whose ears had caught the lawyer’s words, blushed madly.
“I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”
“Hold your horses Mr. Kim Junsu. We didn’t ask you yet,” came Yunho’s stern voice.
“Oh I’m so sorry sir. I’m just nervous today. It’s my first time at court you know. And I don’t usually swear, but I’m making an exception today f-for,” Junsu paused to hold up his fists for emphasis, “for justice!”
At the side, Yoochun giggled at his witness’s cuteness.
“Very well. Korea thanks you for your cooperation. Now, Mr. Kim, do you swear to tell the truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the truth?”
Placing his right hand on the bible, Junsu replied enthusiastically, “Yes your honor! I swear to tell the truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the truth! Cross my eye, hope to die, and stick a needle in my eye!”
“Well now that that’s taken care of, Mr. Park Yoochun, will you please begin your questioning?”
“Of course your honor.”
The serious Yoochun got up from his seat and made his way towards security guard Kim Junsu. Leaning on the podium, he dramatically flipped his healthy jet black hair and shot the smaller man his most greasy smile to date.
“Mr. Kim, may I call you Junsu?” he asked, voice already brimming with affection.
“S-sure.”
“Junsu, where were you on the night of June 27th 2009? Where would you be at such a late hour? What were you doing? What did you see? Where did you go? And where will you be at approximately 6:00 PM today?”
“W-which question should I answer first?” asked the overwhelmed witness.
Feigning this innocence, Yoochun paused to think on it. “How about the last one first?”
“I-I don’t know where I’ll be at six.”
“Well I know where you’ll be Kim Junsu. You’ll be having dinner with me at Yoosu restaurant.”
“And what’s your employee number? What Sears branch do you work at?” Yoochun continued with the serious questioning. “Was it something like 5927? 6927? And does that happen to be the last 4 digits of your number? If not, can I have the whole thing?”
Yoochun gave Junsu a playful wink and smirk, forcing Junsu to look to the ground in shyness. The lawyer’s inner fanboy screamed at the sight of such an adorable image.
While the newly formed couple flirted at the stand, the defendant nudged his own lawyer.
“Say something Jaejoong hyung!” Changmin hissed under his breath. “You should have objected to those absurd questions! Everyone can see that Yoochun is only flirting with that damn witness.”
Jaejoong scoffed knowingly. “I can see why. If I was him, I’d do that too. Damn, that Yoochun is smart and lucky. Too bad we can’t interrogate that handsome Yunho over there. Tis pity he’s the judge.”
As he heard a high-pitched giggle, Changmin turned his attention back to the witness stand to see Kim Junsu and Park Yoochun blatantly exchanging flirtatious comments with one another.
“Oh Mr. Park, you flatter me. Your eyes are much more beautiful,” Junsu winked for emphasis.
“Aw, that’s sweet, but we both know they’re nothing compared to your luscious lips,”
“Oh stop it, Mr. Park. You’re embarrassing me with your sweet, sugary words,” with that, Junsu entered another fit of giggles. “If we’re talking about attractive features, no one can beat your perfectly-sculpted nose.”
Changmin gagged, and before Yoochun could compliment any other features on Junsu, Changmin stood up abruptly to object.
“Objection, your honor! These are irrelevant questions coming from the prosecution side!” he fumed.
“I appreciate your active interest in the law, Mr. Changmin. However, let me remind you of your position in my court as a defendant, therefore not privileged to object. That is the responsibility of your lawyer,” Yunho reminded him.
Changmin turned to his attorney and gave him a glare as if to say ‘Well, what are you waiting for?’
Taking the hint, Jaejoong shot out of his seat,
“Yes, your honor! I object!”
“For what reason are you objecting?”
Pausing to gather his thought, and found none, Jaejoong whispered to his client.
“Min, why are we objecting again?”
“For irrelevance!” Changmin growled in reply.
“Oh I see... Judge Jung Yunho,” Jaejoong started softly, “Yoochun’s questions are totally out of the ball park, landing possibly in the ball park next to it, but nowhere near it. They have no relevance to the case presented.”
“Yoochun, do you have anything to say to that?” Yunho turned to Yoochun.
“No your honor, I was just testing my opponents. Seems to me that they’re not on top of things,” Yoochun smirked, “Now I will begin the actual questioning.”
He lifted his finger to fix a stray hair and resumed.
“Now that we’ve established perfection, my lovely Kim Junsu, please point out who you saw at the crime scene, with the stolen refrigerator.”
Junsu raised his hand and pointed accusingly at the young billionaire.
“Him. Max Changmin did it. It’s him!” Junsu swooned, placing the back of his hand to his forehead, “I can never forget that face.”
The crowd gasped, a reaction Yoochun was expecting.
“Good. Was there anyone else at the crime scene?”
“No, he was alone. With the refrigerator! In fact, I found him inside the refrigerator!”
“I rest my case, your honor.”
The crowd buzzed in excitement once again, debating silently whether not Changmin was the culprit. Their thoughts were interrupted when Yunho slammed his gravel down.
“Silence! Mr. Kim Jaejoong, you may now begin your cross-examination of the witness.”
“Thank you your most handsome honorable honor,” Jaejoong rose and reassured his client, “Trust me.”
Changmin nodded, despite the firm conviction that he was already guilty in the eyes of the public. Jaejoong gave him one last wink before approaching the witness. Slamming his hand suddenly on the hard wood of the witness stand, Jaejoong began his cross-examination.
“I didn’t quite catch the number you gave Yoochun earlier, do you mind repeating it again?”
“Which number? My home phone or my cell phone? Or was it my house number and address?” Junsu asked innocently.
“For the sake of this case, I request that you give me all of them.”
“Objection your honor!” Yoochun declared angrily from where he was sitting, “For flirting in court. With a witness who is obviously taken no less.”
“What a ridiculous notion your honor! I was not flirting. Flirting would be something like this,” he exclaimed and looked passionately at Yunho. “I didn’t notice earlier, but judge Yunho, you’re one attractive man. Under the right light, dare I say it, you would look even more handsome than me. Especially that beauty mark above your lips, it truly brings out… your eyes.”
“Why… thank you.” Yunho said, visibly flattered.
“I’m not done yet,” he came closer and grasped Yunho’s hand in his, “And these. These meticulously manicured hands, how they firmly grab the gravel of justice. How pretty your hands are, but they would look better when they’re in mine. See how my snow white and creamy skin contrasts against your nice, manly and masculine tan.”
Changmin grinned in his seat, feeling his chances going up as Yunho seemed to be lost in his lawyer’s words. He finally understood the tactics it took to win his case, and he finally found it reassuring that Jaejoong was his lawyer.
“Objection your honor! Jaejoong is… seducing you!” Yoochun screamed.
“Shh,” Yunho motioned with his hand for Yoochun to stop, “let him go on.”
“I’m sure we would both want to go on, but my dear judge, let’s save it for later,” Jaejoong lowered his voice to a seductive whisper and then turned back to the audience, “And that is flirting. As you can see ladies and gentlemen, I was not flirting with the witness as Yoochun ridiculously stated in his ridiculous objection. Ridiculous!”
Turning back to Junsu, Jaejoong carried on with his questioning,
“Now, you stated earlier that you saw only Mr. Changmin at the crime scene, inside the stolen refrigerator. How is it possible that there was only one person at the crime scene, when you were also there to witness him being there… at the crime scene! What are you implying, Mr. Kim Junsu? That you weren’t there at the crime scene? If you were not at the crime scene, how could you have seen Changmin there? Is it possibly because you were invisible at the crime scene? Then in that case, are you super human? Perhaps not of this world? Thus, not qualified to be sitting at this podium? Answer me!”
Tears were brimming Junsu’s eyes, “What kind of questions are these? I’m so confused!” He looked over to Yoochun with a helpless look.
“Objection your honor! For badgering the witness,” Yoochun’s heart quivered at the sight that resembled a crying dolphin, “Look at him, he needs a shoulder to cry on. I volunteer!”
He was about to rush to Junsu’s side to offer his shoulders when Yunho stopped him with a fixed, dreamy gaze on Jaejoong. Obviously he hasn't recovered from his trance.
“No, let Jaejoong continue. Jaejoong, do go on.”
“Well? Answer me, Junsu. Are you lying when you said that Changmin was the only person present at the scene of the crime?”
“Yes, yes! I was lying. I was also at the scene. One plus one is two, how could I have forgotten?” Junsu broke down in his seat.
“Very well, I rest my case.” Jaejoong said and returned to his seat. He gave his client a high-five, in which Changmin eagerly responded.
“I believed in you. I always have.” Changmin said to his lawyer, and turned to smirk at the sight of Yoochun calming down the broken witness.
After Junsu and Yoochun left the podium, Yunho summoned Changmin to the stand and his lawyer to question him.
“Mr. Max Changmin, please put your hand on the Bible and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
“Sorry your honor, I’m an atheist.”
“Oh, alright. You don’t have to swear then.”
“I’ll make this short, Changmin,” Jaejoong cleared his throat, “Did you do it?”
“No.”
“Thank you, your honor.”
“Now you Yoochun. Please start your cross examination.”
“Mr. Changmin, what was the ‘it’ that you and Jaejoong were referring to? Is ‘it’ the crime? Is it an acronym? Perhaps ‘it’ stands for International Technology? Or is ‘it’ your latest tactic of avoiding the real issue at hand? The fact is, Jaejoong’s question was simply too vague to determine that you were not involved in this crime.”
Just when Changmin was about to pay a compliment to Yoochun’s sharp analysis, Yoochun broke down.
“And what was your ‘no’ referring to Max Changmin? What does it stand for? What relation does it have with the ‘it’ that Jaejoong was referring to earlier? Is it another one of your secret codes that you are throwing out to confuse the audience? Since Jaejoong’s ‘it’ was unclear, as it stands your ‘no’ is also ambiguous if not downright misleading! What do you have to say now?”
“I think you’re over analyzing things. Why not just take things for what it means?”
“What was that ‘it’?”
Changmin snorted, exasperated.
“To clear your misunderstanding, ‘it’ refers to the crime, and ‘no’ obviously refers to ‘No, I didn’t do the crime’. Does that answer your question, Mr. Yoochun?”
“That’s what you want us to believe, don’t you? Well, answer this: Where were you on Tuesday June 27th, 2009 at 2:00 AM?”
“Well, at 1:30 AM, I was leaving the club to head home. Before I made it to my car, however, someone knocked me out from behind, I barely saw it coming. I was out cold, until, Mr. Kim Junsu there,” he pointed dramatically at Junsu, “opened the fridge and woke me up.”
Do you have the wound from this attack to prove it?”
“Fortunately, I have a thick skull, so the damage has been recovered.” Changmin smoothed out his hair and sighed.
“Why should we believe that such an attack exist at all when there is no evidence or witness to it. Then again, must things be seen or heard to truly exist. If a tree falls in the wood with no people around to see or hear it fall, did it fall? I don’t know about you, but it didn’t fall in my opinion! Therefore, the attack you described never happen if there was no witness to see or hear it! You are obviously lying, Mr. Changmin.”
“I’m not lying. It is the truth. Someone had obviously kidnapped me due to my wealth, and put me in a refrigerator.”
“Oh, how absurd. I suppose the next thing you’re going to tell me is that they put you there because the poor convict had no real jail cell!”
Yoochun turned to Judge Yunho before Changmin could retort and announced,
“Your honor, Max Changmin has no alibi, no witness, no evidence of this supposed attack, or anything that indicate that he was not the criminal who stole the fridge. Therefore, his testimony today should not be taken seriously. Thank you your honor.”
Jaejoong shot out of his seat immediately as Yoochun sat down.
“I would like to make a rebuttal to Mr. Yoochun’s claim!”
“Of course,” Yunho agreed sweetly. “Go on Jaejoong, go on.”
“Changmin, how rich do you consider yourself?”
“Bill Gate rich. Do you have to ask?” Changmin answered automatically.
“How much will you be paying me?”
“Depends on whether I end up in jail or not.” He replied simply.
“Did you hear that your honor?” Jaejoong turned to Yunho, “He said ‘it depends’! Do you know what that means? That means it’s uncertain, it’s variable, it’s wild, it’s free, it’s random, it’s anything Changmin wants it to be! He did not specify a price because his wealth is limitless, he will be able to give me any amount I ask for as payment!”
“Hey! Where are you going with this?”
Jaejoong continued on as if he didn’t hear Changmin,
“Since Changmin is so rich, he has no motive to steal this mundane fridge made of Teflon and stainless steel when he could have easily bought a gilded refrigerator with a swipe of his card. And the fact that he was attacked was also a possibility. Why? Because Mr. Max Changmin is nortorious for his wealth, his looks, and his… smartness! Do you, Mr. Changmin, believe that you possess these traits that can drive a person to kidnap you?”
“But of course.”
“And do you think that your kidnapper is present here today, trying to frame you, so that he could get away with kidnapping you as well as the robbery of the TSC refrigerator?”
“Um… possibly?”
“Exactly!! And who has been attacking you constantly today?”
“Ahh…. Yoochun?”
“NO!! I meant someone who was AT the crime scene.”
“Junsu?”
“Exactly! You read my mind. You are indeed a genius Max Changmin.” Turning to the judge, he continued, “As you see your honorable honor, there were only two people at the crime scene. Junsu claimed that Changmin stole the fridge. While Changmin’s story suggests the opposite! And what more, there were no other witnesses at the crime scene. This means that one of them has to be the culprit. But given that Changmin has no motive, while Junsu is lower class and possibly struggling to make a decent living, it is clear that Junsu is more likely to steal a refrigerator and kidnap Changmin.”
Across the room, Junsu gasped, scandalized.
“I’m innocent!” he shouted from his seat. The reporters turned towards the new suspect.
“Order in the court!” Yunho banged his gravel.
“Yes your honorable honor, I rest my case.”
At the prosecution’s side, Yoochun paled and went over his paper work for any errors once again, trying to figure out what just happened. The tables have turned but he didn’t know why or how.
“The case has went on too long.”
“It’s only been an hour,” someone yelled from the crowd.
“Fifty-five minutes too long. So if we could please move on to the closing statements. Jaejoong, please deliver your last words.”
“It may be the last words in this court, your honorable honor, but I’ll see you after.” He winked at Yunho and returned to the crowd.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Today we have witnessed drama, love, betrayal, crime, existentialism, but most importantly innocence. Where do we see this innocence? Why in Changmin, the face of wealth, beauty, success, and innocence! He never stole the fridge. He has no motive as the richest man in Korea. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn’t his fault that the money hungry Kim Junsu, whose greed drove him to the cliff of insanity,”
“Hey!” Junsu yelled indignantly.
“Resulted to kidnapping and framing a perfectly innocent victim. In the name of justice, I ask the jury, the press, the honorable judge, to deem my client not guilty of this ridiculous charge. Instead you should be throwing the charge onto Junsu for being the greedy, money hungry, selfish man that he is. I rest my case.”
Yunho clapped enthusiastically but immediately stopped when he noticed no one else following his example.
“Ahem... Yoochun, your turn for the closing statement.”
Yoochun rose from his seat and turned to the crowd.
“As I stated before, Changmin’s kidnapping story cannot be believed. There were no witnesses or evidence that suggested the attack happened. Without these evidences, his innocence is questionable. He is merely trying to cover up the robbery that he committed. Moreover, the defendant has taken up the tactic of framing Kim Junsu for the crime. What an underhanded and low move they had pulled. Not only did they seduce the gullible judge,”
“Hey!” Yunho exclaimed.
“But they have also resorted to such a dirty plan as to pin the whole crime on an innocent bystander like Kim Junsu. Just because he’s poor doesn’t mean that he wants the fridge. Plus why would he steal from his own company? That would be like stealing from himself! While Mr. Changmin is rich enough to steal from himself. So if anything, he’s the one who is most likely to steal the fridge! Kim Junsu is innocent and Max Changmin is guilty! Your honor, I rest my case.”
“Perfect, we will now have a recess while the jury decides the verdict.”
As people from the crowd emptied the courtroom to get refreshments and to take their bathroom breaks, Changmin remained by his attorney’s side.
“How sure are you?”
“I don’t know… Things can go either way right now.”
In the distant, Yunho waved at Jaejoong and blew him a kiss. Jaejoong pretended to catch it and turned back to Changmin,
“Actually, I think I got this one in the bag.”
“Let’s hope so…”
On Yoochun’s side, Junsu was terrified.
“Am I going to jail?”
“I’m sure my wit and good looks will get us out of this. Changmin and Jaejoong are going down!”
He looked over to where the judge sat and saw Yunho throw a kiss at Jaejoong, who caught it flirtatiously.
“Actually… I’m having second thoughts about your freedom.”
“What?”
After several minutes, the jury returned.
“We, the jury of case #0627 has decided in a vote of five to four that Max Changmin is…”
Everyone in the courtroom held their breaths.
“Innocent!”
Jaejoong’s side leaped out from their chairs for joy. Changmin hugged his lawyer and high-fived him. Yoochun’s side, however, paled in shock and grumbled in defeat.
“Also,” the jury continued, “we have decided that Kim Junsu should be retained for further investigation.”
“No!” came Junsu’s distinct wail when the police men appeared by his side to drag him off. “I didn’t do it! I’m innocent!” He cried to Yoochun, “Do something Yoochun!”
Yoochun sighed woefully as he wiped the tears from Junsu’s eyes.
“I’m sorry Junsu, I tried my best. But in a courtroom this absurd, we have to expect the unexpected, the possibility that nonsense can overcome facts. There is nothing left to do. Farewell my love. I will wait for you. And I will always love you even if you are a criminal.”
“I’m not a criminal!” Junsu cried again.
“That’s what they all say! But I still love you!” Yoochun’s hand left Junsu’s as he was pulled out the doors. From this chapter of his life, Yoochun resolved to never return to this courtroom again. He packed up and left.
Meanwhile, Changmin invited Jaejoong to his victory party.
“Sorry, I won’t be able to make it to your party. I have a date with the judge afterward,” Jaejoong said while glancing at Yunho, who was waiting patiently at the door.
“Alright then. Send me the bill for your service. I’ll see you around.”
After the trial, Changmin got onto his limo and left behind the absurdity he just faced. It took fifteen minutes of the car ride for him to return to his mansion. Going pass the high security, Changmin made his way to his underground dungeon. He turned on the lights and a field of refrigerators appeared from the darkness. Refrigerators lined up against each other as far as the eye could see. Taking out an apple from one of the fridges, Changmin said to himself,
“TSC, I may not have you now, but mark my words, I will have you next time.”
And an evil laugh rang out from the billionaire's dungeons.
Fin
A/n: Don't get me wrong, we (s1nfulxs0ul andsenseikk) absolutely LOVE Junsu. ^^ But it was just too tempting to have this ending >.< May there be many more collabs in the future s1nfulxs0ul. How about a 2PM one next? X3
And if this made you laugh, please comment!!!