If they actually believed the 'facts' they present are accurate then I could see how you could reach that conclusion. Now I don't watch a great deal of football but even I know that games don't 'typically end in a penalty shootout'. In fact, all bar tournaments (and then often only the later rounds) are they even an option! And as for the sport being 2-dimensional, I think Beckham would have scored a lot less goals if he'd only crossed in along the ground.
See, I thought it must be real right up until the end, when the writer reveals that his daughters play the game, are good at it, and that they all really enjoy going to the games. So I'm left thinking that either the writer is very, very confused or this is actually a very clever piece of satire.
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