FIC: Whiskey (1/2) Dollhouse/HIMYM crossover

[idioticonion]

Whiskey - Part 1

Zulu sits on the red couch and wraps her arms around her. Bare arms, shift dress, knees bent under her and head rested on the brown cushion.

Everyone around her is talking.

The men, Marshall and Ted, are shouting, angry, and she flinches at every harsh word. The girl, the slim brunette, stares at her,

Comments

[otempora42]

I am so confused.

But in a great way.

Of course GNB's a cover for the Dollhouse. It's totally shady.

What's going to happen to Zulu? Ugh, want next part.

Also, love the Claire/Topher interaction. Is it weird that I've only really started shipping them after we found out she was a Doll (which I was TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT)? I think so, but whatever.

Can't wait for the rest of it. :D

[idioticonion]

I'll see what other people think. I need to know how to better explain Barney.

Basically, Barney is just a mind. Barney's body is the latest body he's been put into. Like DeWitt's dead friend.

The blonde, blue-eyed Barney we know is just another Doll-body that happens to be on an extended engagement to INFILTRATE Altrucell.

I might make a couple of small changes to make this clearer.

The Dollhouse is enemies with Altrucell - they are two separate entities.

[idioticonion]

Made some minor changes to Barney/Cobb. See what you think...?

Should I make it clearer that Barney's original body died? Or will that just break the narritive flow? Will people just assume something happened to his original body?

[otempora42]

Ah, see, that makes a lot more sense. If you think you need further explanation, but don't want to break up this chapter, maybe you could put a flashback or something in the next one?

[roland44]

DUDE. All I can say right now is...DUDE! Can't wait for part 2! And only beta issue is the extra close quote right at the end (after 'hungry kiss').

[alliterations]

*is confused*

BUT OMG, OF COURSE GNB IS A COVER FOR DOLLHOUSE! WHY DIDN'T WE SEE THIS SOONER?! it's canon, i tell you, canon.

Fantastic job! You never disappoint.

[snogged]

of course, GNB is a cover for the Dollhouse. That's just brilliant.

I'm a little confused but seriously...you need to post part II. Like now

[dvldb]

I love it! Can't wait to read the rest. GNB and Dollhouse crossover, brilliant!