Or so the prince had gathered from stories.

[idiosyncreant]

I have a sinking feeling I'm on the verge of a growth-spurt. A writing growth spurt.

These are painful--I primarily sense one on the horizon because my writing appears simplistic and unintelligent to me, suddenly. Like a 12 year old's. A twelve year old who knows an awful lot about what not to do, and can critique even published works with a canny

Comments

[fabricalchemist]

Because...if you admit to genius, you're not?

Isn't it sort of an awkward thing to be labeled? I would think it would make me too intimidated to work on things again -- it's too high a pedestal to fall from. It's different if said genius is dead and therefore much less likely to fall from grace =P

[idiosyncreant]

But it's not admitting to genius (THAT I understand being blatantly dense), it's admitting that genius is something you want.

I don't want to be labelled that, either. I want to write something as good as Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, or The Golden Compass, and things I consider unfathomably good.

But if people are interpreting it the way you kind of did here, I can understand why they'd feel uncomfortable. Wanting to be called a genius is kinda icky.

[fabricalchemist]

Well, and also, there's the feeling of "I'm not 'genius' because I know I can do much better"?

I don't think it's icky to want to be genius! I think it's more that you don't know when you get there =P If that makes sense.

[idiosyncreant]

To want to be CALLED that is arrogance, though.

[idiosyncreant]

Well, I'd agree about it being something you have inherantly. That doesn't mean I can't bemoan the fact that, therefore, I never will be one.

[checkers65477]

Maybe it's because 'genius' is seen as 'beautiful'--not something you work hard at becoming or achieving, but something you are. If I said to a friend, "I'd love to be beautiful," it would embarrass them, like I'm acknowledging that I'm not and that would make them uncomfortable. Besides, being a genius at writing doesn't mean you wouldn't still have to work hard and that you wouldn't be disappointed in your writing. I think even geniuses feel that way. And as fabricalchemist said, that sort of label would be heavy indeed.

[idiosyncreant]

Good point. I tried to keep this sort of comment to writers I thought would commiserate, but I guess that was still too awkward.

I would like to have more capability to work on a deeper level than I do, more than to be an actual certifiable genius. I guess throwing that word around too loosely is my fault.

[philia_fan]

That's funny. I wonder if it's because people tend to associate genius with madness and being extremely inconsiderate of others -- as in, Only My Art Matters. When probably what you really mean is that you want to excel at your craft.

Sorry, I was just nosing in off the Sounis page. I'll wander off now!

[idiosyncreant]

Hey, I love it when people come by!
Thanks for chiming in.

I think above we struck on something with the arrogance factor. I mean, I could be perceived as fishing for compliments OR as wishing to be considered a genius. I can see that.

I don't. I just want to write something I think is truly good. But the misperception is easily understood. People being concerned about me turning into WritemoBot Jerkface are legitimate, too, except I'm as single-minded about it as I'm going to be. Being better won't change that much...

[jade_sabre_301]

I just love the beginning of An Abundance of Katherines, where Colin is talking about the difference between "genius" and "prodigy," and the fact that he has crossed the line between the two and now is afraid he won't make it to "genius." It so summed up a lot of my feelings on the subject. Hee.

Anyway, it probably depends on who you're talking to. For example, if you're talking to people who are reasonably-to-above-averagely intelligence, they'll probably get what you mean when you say you want to be a genius--namely, that you know you could do better, that you WANT to do better, that you're well aware of your own limitations. But for someone who (either beknownst or unbeknownst to you) looks up to you are being much smarter than them, well, maybe it just makes them feel awkward? Like, geeze, they thought you were smart, but you don't even think of yourself as that smart, so what does that make them? Just speculation, though.

And I know what you mean about the writing thing. :-\ good luck!

[idiosyncreant]

Yeah, I relate to the genius/prodigy confusion. I found it really encouraging that Jane Smiley in her lit-crit book forwarded the opinion that true masters of the craft came into their own in their forties. ^-^

Heaven knows I don't want to be a Paolini prodigy, though I think the guy's a lot more likeable than other jealous teens and critical adults give him credit for being. I shudder to think of self-publishing at 16 what I'd written at 15, and then getting it sold nationally...

Another interesting hypothesis, about it making people gage themselves. Though I don't particularly think I get a lot of people thinking I'm smarter than them. I could be wrong. *shrug*

[jade_sabre_301]

He was an arrogant little brat when he was younger. Which, I mean, teenager--but honestly, he was 18 by the time the big storm hit. Still teenager, but still, saying things like "my parents loved me enough to homeschool me" doesn't win you points with the non-homeschooled, unconvinced-of-your-genius group.

Also, "genius" implies a certain amount of originality and ingenuity that he, sadly, lacks in a very large and meaningful way.

[idiosyncreant]

I was referring to "Prodigy" in a rather tongue-in-cheek way. As in, when I was 14 I decided to aim for being published by 16, kind of thing. Which I did.

Everyone's an arrogant little brat, some people just get lucky and reveal it to the media. ^_^
Sadly, I don't care enough either way to find out unless I actually meet him.
I just feel for him.
It has seemed obvious to me in all the things people have quoted from him that that he was a bit clueless and a definite nerd--social awareness not being on the top of those definitions.