Week 7 -- When you live for someone you're prepared to die

[idekmybffjill]

It’s so easy to forget the way she used to look at you -- how her eyes would freeze you in place; how her voice sent an avalanche of ice and snow down your back. How at the same time, her words would ignite that oppressive heat in your chest -- how she’d push and push and push until you erupted, words spilling from your lips you’d later regret but

Comments

[yachiru]

I loved that during parts of this I was totally convinced you were giving birth.

[idekmybffjill]

Thanks. :) I love that it came across that way for you.

[whipchick]

I love this - you so seldom write nonfiction and this is tough and strong and hurting and heartfelt all at the same time. I support you, from afar and as acquaintances, but as much as I can nonetheless :) It sounds like the absolutely rightest choice you could be making right now.

[idekmybffjill]

Thanks. <3 I appreciate that as an acquaintance of yours. And nonfiction's been creeping out of me more and more, lately. I'm glad this piece was all of those things.

[dmousey]

I love you- please don't ever feel this way again. Never let someone put you down like that. It's hard when you are a natural people pleaser, but someone with this negative control should be out of your life, and thank gods is. Peace and hugssss

[idekmybffjill]

Don't worry, I'm done feeling this way because of other people. Malone was not a good boss and I'm so glad I'm away from her and Evelyn both.

[eternal_ot]

*Hugs* and I am so proud of you for taking that step. I am sure you are feeling way lighter that before. All the best <3 Do well.

[idekmybffjill]

*hugs back* Thanks. And I have been feeling way lighter, as of late. :)

[sinnamongirl]

This rang so true with me, and absolutely walking out is necessary. Everyone deserves their own life... I say that having stuck with so many situations that were so bad for me, thinking I always had to make the best of it, never realizing that I could leave. There's always options. They might suck, but they're options. And it's so hard to see them when people around you are dragging you down and trying to kill your soul (or so it seems). Some serious truth here, and good personal growth as well.

[idekmybffjill]

Thank you. <3 There definitely has been a lot of personal growth in the past couple of years, and I'd like to keep happening so I keep working on it. :) I'm just glad I traded one bad boss for a better boss much faster than it took for me to drop my ex.

[sinnamongirl]

I'm in a big learning phase myself, and it's... uncomfortable. I mean, yay for personal emotional health? But it's hard to get out of a comfort zone, for real. I'm real glad you got a better boss real fast! And did end up dropping the ex, even if it could've happened faster... sometimes it just doesn't and that's okay. Kudos to you for moving on!

[idekmybffjill]

If I hadn't transferred stores I probably would not have left Previous Employer all that quickly. And that job was not the job for me, you know? I wouldn't have learned it as quickly thanks to awful boss. xD

Thanks. :D