Comments | icicle33: H/D fic: Tabula Rasa (Part 2/2)

icicle33

H/D fic: Tabula Rasa (Part 2/2)

Jan 08, 2011 14:15

Title: Tabula Rasa
Author: icicle33
Word count: ~2600
Warnings: none except you might want to kill Harry at the end
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. I just borrow them from time to time for my own personal amusement.
A/N: The first part of this story could almost stand alone as a one-shot. This part is taking a ( Read more... )

draco/harry, part 2, tabula rasa, slash, blaise zabini

Comments 11

njphelps January 8 2011, 21:01:20 UTC

You can't end it there!!!! LOL! i think ur off to a good start please continue.

icicle33 January 9 2011, 04:45:12 UTC

Thanks so much for the review. Don't worry, I'm definitely going to continue this. Make sure to check back in a couple days.

njphelps January 9 2011, 13:43:45 UTC

i added u as a friend so i could keep up with the updates.

icicle33 January 10 2011, 04:05:12 UTC

Of course, I like making new friends. I friended you back. : D

lijahlover January 8 2011, 22:53:55 UTC

No no no It can't end there need more of this... I loved it just brilliant!

icicle33 January 9 2011, 04:44:25 UTC

Thank you! I'm really flattered you thought it was a brilliant. I decided I'm definitely going to continue, but I think I'm going to go back to the beginning when Draco and Harry first made their truce before I go on...so I guess you could say that parts 1 and 2 are really parts 3 and 4. Don't worry though, I'll make sure to get parts 1 and 2 out in the next couple days, so I can keep going right where I left off.

sordid_humors March 10 2011, 00:27:46 UTC

This is really cute. You have a great handle on Harry's internal voice which makes it oh-so-fun to read.

I guess my constructive criticism would be that the dialogue could read more naturally. I especially noticed it between Harry and Zabini. If you read some of Blaise's paragraphs of speech out loud, they sound awkward or stilted, not the way people actually speak. It's a hard line to walk, disseminating information through character speech. Some of the things we say don't translate to the page and vice versa. I can't think of any great resources off the top of my head. It's mostly a process of trial and error. Certainly reading your work out loud can help.

icicle33 March 10 2011, 04:14:33 UTC

Thanks for the comment. I really do appreciate the constructive criticism. I agree with you that although it was pretty easy to find Harry's voice I was having a hard time with Zabini. I find the Slytherins hard because I believe they would speak more formally than the other characters, especially Harry and Ron, and they definitely want to make that obvious as part of their superciliousness; however, at the same time, I guess I made him sound too awkward ( ... )

sordid_humors March 10 2011, 04:46:13 UTC

Well Blaise struck me the most, for sure. It might be worth going over Harry and Draco for the sake of development. Draco's tone was a bit confused. You might clear up the tone of voice he used after Harry punched him; that section felt odd. I couldn't really get a handle on Draco's reaction.

Then... talented? Shit, what've you been reading? >_<''

demerain June 3 2012, 14:16:41 UTC

This has to be the most deeply analyzed snog in history. And I'm now dying to know if its all an evil Slytherin plot. Thanks for sharing, & please continue.

icicle33 June 19 2012, 03:04:06 UTC

Thank you so much for your comment, dear. Although, I'm sad to tell you that I don't think this fic is going to be updated any time soon. It was the first ever slash fic I wrote, and I cringe when I read it now as I *hope* my writing has improved drastically since. I do love this plot though, so perhaps in the future I will come back to it and rewrite it or at least write a newer fic with this plot. I hope you aren't disappointed.