Wanting, waiting, losing

[iceiya]

Just waiting till it gets easier. Till the pain subsides. The wound needs to close. I want a scab. I want it gone. A cross I must bare but I don't want to. No one wants to carry their cross. Why must it be so hard? Where do I find relief? Being away is hard but being close hurts too much. There is no ease. No rest. Sleepless nights. Mornings with

Comments

[kotukawi]

The whole point of bearing pain and "the cross" is that you don't have to do it alone. You've got friends (and God!) that are able to help pick you up and carry you further. They can't eliminate the pain, of course; only you can decide when you've had enough and just move beyond it. But you're not the only one to suffer what you've suffered, and others are certainly willing to help you through the process.

[iceiya]

Thanks, Dave. I know what you say is true. And I know better than what I write. I know that God is the One that will help me through this, He is the one who will take the burden... just at times, it's easier to dwell in my own misery than to look for help. Sounds childish, I know. Just how I function. And I find that it helps to write it all out. Though my entries seem depressing, I know deep down that there will be a better day when I've moved on from my current situation. At times, it is difficult to remember that.
Thank you for your prayers. You are in mine.
Peace.