[bsg_pornbattle] Spin the Bottle
Title: Spin the Bottle
Author: icedteainthebag
Pairing: Bill/Laura/Saul/Ellen
Rating: R
Summary: The four people with humanity's fate in the palms of their hands down their sixth straight shots of the night.
Spoilers: none
Word Count: 3,642
Author's Notes: Originally written for the second bsg_pornbattle using the prompt, "Bill/Laura/Saul/Ellen, spin the bottle." This is dedicated to tjonesy, who didn't think a bottle could make our two manly heroes shed their inhibitions quite like this. I had such a good time writing this fic. Thanks for the prompt. ;) And thanks to leiascully on the whiskey advice. I, unfortunately, did not know that Aerelon whiskey > Gemenese whiskey.
x x x x
"3... 2... 1... shot!"
It's the last of Bill's last bottle of Aerelon whiskey. They sit at Bill's table in his quarters--the XO and the Admiral on one side, the President and the XO's wife on the other--as Bill divides it into four tumblers, equally shared. With a sentimental toast by the XO to "What the frak ever," the four people with humanity's fate in the palms of their hands down their sixth straight shots of the night.
Laura's face twists up as if she's just bitten into a lemon. "Gods," she chokes. "I'm so glad it's gone."
"I'm surprised you can still taste it," Bill says with a chuckle as he leans back in his chair.
"Barely," Laura concedes with a smile as she watches Ellen pick up the whiskey bottle. She eyes Ellen warily. "Ellen, there's none left."
Ellen Tigh tosses her head and her long, blond hair falls gracefully over her shoulders. She makes a "hrrmph" sound and sets the bottle down on its side. "I know that," she says to Laura as she rolls her eyes. "I just had an idea."
The way Ellen drawls out "ideaaaaaa" makes Laura shift in her seat.
"Hold on, woman," Saul says with a shake of his head. "You're not gonna show everyone that frakkin' bottle trick you learned at the strip club while you worked your way through college."
Ellen bursts out in laughter. Bill looks at Laura. Laura stares at her empty glass with a frown.
"No, I'm not," Ellen says firmly, her expression serious for a short moment.
"Oh, thank you sweet Lords of Kobol," Laura breathes in relief.
"Wouldn't mind seeing that," Bill mutters as he glances over to Saul.
"Well, it is pretty frakkin' intense," Saul murmurs to him with an elbow nudge.
"Boys!" Ellen says sharply with a hard knock of the bottle against the table. "That's enough of your sick fantasies for one night. I have an idea, and it doesn't necessarily involve anyone sticking anything where it doesn't belong."
"Necessarily?" Laura repeats slowly. She stares at Ellen and watches the woman's smile widen.
"No, I think..." Ellen takes the bottle and gives it a spin on the table. She looks up triumphantly, her face radiant. "I think we should play Spin the Bottle."
Laura's eyes dart to Bill, who looks positively bewildered for a few seconds before his eyes dart to Saul. Laura looks at him too and Saul shrugs, an astonished look on his face.
"What the frak you want me to do?" Saul says, trying to coax one last drop of whiskey out of his empty tumbler. He sets it down with a sigh. "The woman's a frakkin' nut. I love 'er though. Even though she's outta her frakkin' mind sometimes."
"Thank you, honey." Ellen beams.
"I kinda... ah," Laura says, holding onto the table as she seems slightly woozy. "Not... I'm not sure about this, Ellen."
"What's not to be sure of?" Ellen murmurs, her voice smooth and sultry. She puts her hand on Laura's on the table. "Come on, Laura, you can go first."
"Oh, wonderful," Laura murmurs.
"I haven't played that since high school," Bill says. "Frakkin' Spin the Bottle."
"You remember Suzie Miller's party?" Saul says.
"Eleventh year," Bill answers, his voice lower as he chuckles. "Saul, you tricky motherfrakker. I still can't believe you got her to put her mouth--"
"All right," Laura interrupts as she slaps her hands over her ears. "Fine. To save us all from... from another 'Who the Frak Bill and Saul Frakked' story, I'll play. Fine. I will play. If everyone else plays. And I mean everyone. That is... a... a presidential decree." She looks right at Bill and he nearly withers under her glare.
"Everyone's in," Ellen says with a nod of her head toward the men.
"Frak yes," Saul says as he slams his hand on the table.
"Bring it," Bill says gruffly.
The four of them watch Laura's hand tentatively reach for the bottle and pull it to the middle of the table. "Oh, frak this shit," Laura says under her breath as she spends the bottle spinning to the left.
They watch the bottle spin--and oh, it's slow to stop, so slow that Saul audibly huffs and starts looking around for more alcohol.
"Saul Tigh, you will stay right here and play this game," Ellen snaps as she sees his eyes wandering.
"Gods, woman," Saul groans, yet he sits perfectly still.
The bottle slows down and stops. The neck of it points to none other than Ellen Tigh herself.
Laura stares at the bottle and releases a small titter of laughter into the silence of the room.
"Not leavin' now," Saul says as he sits up in his seat. "Check it out, Bill. Frakkin' bottle read my frakkin' mind."
Bill looks at Laura and his face crinkles slightly with concern. "We don't really have to do this, Laura."
Laura takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She shrugs and shakes out her shoulders. "No. No, I'll play along." She turns her body toward Ellen and they both smile apologetically at each other.
"Hey there," Laura says, then winces. "Oh, frak me, Ellen. How old am I, anyway?"
Ellen laughs and pats her arm. "It's okay. It's just a silly game."
"I wanna see some tongue!" Saul requests loudly.
Both women's heads snap toward him. "Shut up," Ellen demands. "Not another word from the frakkin' peanut gallery or I call this whole game off, do you hear me?"
"She's got you sooooo whipped," Bill muses.
"Don't make me kick your ass, old man," Saul growls. Nevertheless, the XO settles back in his chair.
Laura and Ellen look at each other with another smile, this one less nervous. Laura leans in slightly, as does Ellen, and their eyes lock as their lips move closer, inch by inch.
Saul starts to say something and Bill's palm hits his forearm. Hard.
Ellen makes the final maneuver and presses her lips against Laura's, a chaste kiss at first, both of the women perfectly still. The only noise in the room is the soft squeak that comes from Saul's throat and the creaking of Bill's chair as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Laura slowly parts her lips and lets out the softest of moans as Ellen opens her mouth, and suddenly, they're kissing harder, deeper, and Laura's hands move to Ellen's hair to pull her closer.
"Sweet Asses of Kobol," Bill breathes.
"Lords Almighty," Saul mutters.
Ellen's hand moves up to cup Laura's breast, tentative at first, then more firmly. A whimper escapes from the back of Laura's throat as Ellen's hand kneads her breast. Their lips caress each other and it's nearly hypnotizing.
"Frak me," Saul says, unmoving. "Oh, frak me, I'm a goner."
The women break their kiss, flushed and out of breath. Laura untangles her fingers from Ellen's hair and Ellen pulls her hand away from Laura's chest.
Then they look at the two men seated across the table and Ellen is the first to laugh.
"You two look like a dozen Cylon basestars just jumped into the fleet," she howls as her laughter echoes through Bill's quarters. She puts her hand on Laura's shoulder to steady herself.
Laura smiles at Bill, who still looks rather entranced by what he just saw. "You all right, Admiral?" she says with a small smile. She tucks her hair behind her ear.
"I'm good," Bill says with a hard swallow. "All good."
"It's my turn," Ellen says as she grabs the bottle. "Laura got me. Let's see who I get."
"Gods damn it all, I hope you get Laura again," Saul declares as he leans over and watches the bottle intensely.
Ellen spins the bottle. "You're not going to will it to stop anywhere, Saul," she taunts as they all watch the bottle. The anticipation hangs heavy in the air.
"I'll frakkin' try," he says, glaring at it.
The bottle slows and finally lands on its next lucky victim.
"Hey!" Saul exclaims. "The old man is not gonna mouth-frak my woman!"
"There will be no mouth-frakking," Ellen states slowly and thoughtfully, as if she has to work hard to get the right words out. "Besides, Saul, you let Laura mouth-frak me."
"That's different," Bill and Saul say in unison.
"Don't even go there," Laura snaps as she stares both of them down.
They cower, just a little.
Laura clears her throat, adjusts her dress shirt and sits up straight. "Okay. Now. Bill, kiss Ellen."
"Just act like we're back at my wedding reception," Saul chortles as he slaps Bill on the back hard.
"I was so wasted," Bill says, his eyes still on the bottle.
"Bill," Laura asks curiously, "When were you not wasted?"
Saul and Bill look at her as Ellen makes her way around the table to Bill.
Bill looks up at Ellen. "No tit grabbing."
"He's got a handful, at least," Saul says, laughing at his own joke.
Ellen leans in to Bill and looks into his eyes.
"I'll keep my hands to myself," she coos.
Bill closes his eyes and Ellen brushes her lips against his. Saul and Laura watch, both with expressions of fairly horrified fascination. Ellen puts her hands on Bill's cheeks and holds his face steady while she runs her tongue over his upper lip. Bill presses his mouth against hers more tightly, makes a smacking noise with his lips and then pulls away.
"I'm good," Bill says.
"You are frakkin' not," Ellen growls.
"Denied!!" Saul chortles with a satisfied grin.
Ellen looks over at Saul. "Don't you even start with me. I know where you hide your porn."
Laura nearly chokes on nothing at all.
Ellen lets go of Bill's face and sighs heavily. "Well, that was nice, Bill. Real nice."
"Can I have Saul's porn?" Bill asks.
"Spin the frakkin' bottle, Bill," Ellen responds.
"No, you can't," Saul responds, a little slow on the uptake.
Bill reaches over the table and sends the bottle on its spin. His muscular forearm sends it spinning so quickly it nearly makes the group dizzy. The bottle slows, slows, slows, and finally stops.
Laura stands up and straightens her skirt, then fluffs her hair over her shoulder.
“Let me show you how it’s done,” she leans in and whispers as she brushes past Ellen.
The expression on Bill’s face is nothing short of shocked when Laura slings one leg over his lap and straddles him in his chair, her skirt sliding midway up her thighs.
“There you go,” Saul says with a laugh.
Laura runs her hands up Bill’s chest and he takes a deep breath in. She cocks her eyebrow as her hands slide over his shoulders and back down his arms.
“What are you doing?” Bill murmurs as their eyes meet.
Laura pushes her hand through the front of his hair and scrapes her fingers over his scalp. She tugs his head back and leans over to whisper in his ear.
“What does it feel like I’m doing?” she responds, her voice barely above a whisper as her teeth graze his earlobe. She lifts her head and presses her lips against his while she pushes her tongue into his mouth. Bill makes a whimpering sound in the back of his throat and she smiles against his lips, then kisses him deeper as she holds his head in place.
Ellen stands with her arms crossed, an amused expression on her face as she watches Laura and Bill. She glances over them to Saul and winks at him.
“You takin’ notes?” Saul asks.
“Pssshhh. This is all old hat to me,” Ellen declares with a pout of her lips.
Bill runs his hands up Laura’s thighs and cups her ass and she hums softly into his mouth, her lips working hard on his until she pulls away dramatically for a deep gasp of air. Her hair has fallen over her face and she blows it upward with a giggle.
“How was that?” Laura asks Bill. She kisses the tip of his nose.
“It was pretty frakkin’ hot,” Saul interjects.
“Shut up, Saul,” Bill says as he lowers his chin to nuzzle into Laura’s neck. “I’m a little busy.”
“It’s your turn, Laura,” Ellen says as she taps her fingers against her forearms. “Spin the bottle. You two can get hot and heavy later.”
Laura smirks and turns so she’s sitting on Bill sideways. She grins back at him. “I think something’s come up,” she quips, her eyes sparkling as she wiggles her ass in his lap.
“Save it for later,” Bill chuckles as he rubs her thigh. She giggles and reaches over to spin the bottle on the table top again.
“Round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody frakkin’ knows, but I better get some frakkin’ action soon, gods damn it,” Saul rambles as they all watch the bottle.
“Ha!” Ellen claps her hands together as the rotation stops. “Oh, wonderful.”
Laura shifts her eyes from the bottle to Saul, who stares at the bottle, which is pointed at him.
“Wishes do come true,” Saul mutters as he stands up from his chair.
Bill watches Saul as Saul turns toward them. “Saul, if I see you try that trademark move of yours, I’ll kick your sorry ass from here to... where the frak ever.”
“She should be worried about your moves, Adama,” Saul says as he walks up to Laura on Bill’s lap. Laura looks up expectantly with a smile even as she bites her lip.
“What moves, Bill?” she asks innocently as she stares up into Saul’s eyes.
“I’ll show ya later,” Bill answers as his grip on her thigh tightens.
Tigh leans down and whispers into Laura’s ear. Laura starts giggling, a soft giggle at first, then louder until she reaches up and puts her arms around Saul’s neck. She pulls him down and kisses him hard as she lifts her body off of Bill.
Saul slides his arms around her waist and pulls her off of Bill’s lap while he kisses Laura back. Her legs wrap around his waist and she’s shaking with laughter.
“What the frak,” Bill groans with a chuckle.
“Enjoy it while you can!” Ellen calls as she tilts her head to the side with a grimace. “You’re sleeping on the floor tonight, asshole.”
“Mmmmmmmmmmm,” Saul murmurs against Laura’s lips. He’s got a tight grip on her ass and he holds her up while their tongues battle it out.
“Mmmmmmmmmm,” Laura responds, then pulls away laughing. “I’m just not feelin’ it, Saul.”
“I’m feeling plenty,” Saul growls as he squeezes her ass.
“Well, I feel that,” Laura murmurs with a giggle. Saul lets go of her ass and she slides down his body, then looks over her shoulder at Bill.
“You’re better,” she says as she winks at Bill.
“You didn’t give me a chance,” Saul says as he sits back down in his chair. “I’d out-frak Bill Adama, anywhere, any time, lady. And I have.”
“He sure has,” Ellen says, her voice smug.
The four of them look at each other for a quiet, awkward moment.
“Okay, Saul,” Ellen says quickly. “Spin that bottle, baby. Spin it good.”
“My pleasure,” Saul says. “About frakkin’ time it was my turn. Not that I mind. That last kiss was frakkin’ hot. You have to admit, Madam President, that was pretty frakkin’ hot.”
Saul leans over and gives the bottle a strong spin, nearly sending it off the table.
“Oh yeah,” Laura says. She runs her fingers over Bill’s shoulders as she walks past him and around the table back to her seat. “It was on, Colonel Tigh.”
“You know it,” he growls as he winks up at her, then stares at the bottle again.
The bottle slows, and slows, and finally stops.
“Oh, frak,” Laura breathes. Ellen’s laugh is shrill and she claps her hands together. Laura looks over at her, slightly annoyed at her enthusiasm, then looks at Bill, where the bottle is pointing.
“Do it!” Ellen says. “Oh, Gods, this is going to be amazing.”
“I demand a respin,” Saul says as he glances at Bill, who is still staring at the bottle. “Thing’s gotta be rigged or weighted or some frakkin’ thing, maybe it’s broken.”
“Saul,” Ellen says sternly. “You know the rules. Everyone’s in.”
“I wanna be out,” Bill says. He sounds slightly ill and he is, in fact, looking slightly queasy.
“Come on, Bill,” Ellen says, walking up to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like your swords haven’t crossed before. And that’s way more intimate.”
Laura’s mouth drops open. “Your swords have… crossed? What the frak does that mean?”
“Old fleet terminology for burying the hatchet,” Saul says quickly.
“So to speak,” Ellen purrs.
“All right,” Bill interrupts. “All right, all right, get the frak over here, Saul, and get it over with.”
Saul stares at Bill. “You outta your frakkin’ mind, old man?”
“No,” Bill says, “But I’m drunk enough not to care, and this is what the ladies want, isn’t that right?”
Ellen nods emphatically, Laura, less emphatically.
“I’m still thinking about crossing swords,” Laura admits.
Bill stands up and walks up to Saul, their chests bumping. “Doesn’t mean I wanna frak ya,” Bill says as he looks Saul in the eye.
Saul nods, then furrows his brow. “What the frak’s wrong with me, you don’t want to frak me? You got a thing against bald guys, old man? Just cause you got that moppa hair on your head?”
Ellen puts her hands on her hips and a sultry smile spreads across her face. “Enough foreplay, boys. Get it on.”
Bill glances back at her. “We are not getting it on, Ellen.”
“Nobody’s asking you to cross swords,” Laura says, her tone biting. Bill looks at her and she’s smirking.
“Oh, now you too,” he grumbles. “Frakkin’ wonderful.”
“Shut up and kiss me, you old fool,” Saul says. They both burst into laughter.
“Who says romance is lost?” Bill says as he grabs the back of Saul’s head.
"No tit grabbing," Saul says.
“Pucker up, you son of a bitch,” Bill growls as he leans in.
Bill’s lips meet Saul’s bruisingly, with the brunt force of a Viper on an emergency landing. Ellen squeals in laughter while Laura covers her eyes and peeks through her fingers. Bill and Saul are motionless for a few seconds, then Saul grabs Bill’s waist and pulls him sharply against his body with a grunt.
“Oh, my Gods,” Laura gasps as she begins laughing.
“The bromance,” Ellen wheezes. "Go, Bill, Go!"
The women watch as Bill’s mouth opens and they see the men start kissing, full-on, with their tongues and they grip each other tightly.
“Nnnnnnnnggggggggh,” Saul sputters against Bill’s mouth.
In their drunken state, nary a party to the XO and Admiral’s impromptu makeout session noticed that the door to the hatch had spun open and Kara Thrace had poked her head in. Not until Kara made her prescence completely and utterly obvious.
“What the frak!” Kara screams, instantly doubling over with laughter.
Saul and Bill jump apart and look in horror at Kara. Ellen and Laura’s laughter is cut short and they turn around in their seats and watch Kara completely losing it in the doorway.
“My… oh my…” Kara wheezes.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Bill says quickly.
“Yes, it really was,” Ellen responds with a shrug.
“Kara…” Laura says, then falters at the inability of her alcohol-addled mind to make sense of the situation Kara has just observed. “It was a game.”
Kara finally rises from her throe of laughter and glances at the table. “Spin the bottle?” she asks incredulously, then laughs again, even harder it seems.
“Lieutenant Thrace,” Bill says, “I think it’s time for you to leave.”
“Oh, I’ll leave,” she says as she wipes her eyes. “That’s the most frakked up thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lotta frakked up things, gentlemen.”
“Get out,” Saul hollers.
“Yessir,” Kara says with a grin. She leaves and slams the hatch shut behind her.
Laura turns back to Bill and Saul and sighs. “It’s going to take approximately four minutes for the entire Galactica crew to know what Kara just observed in the Admiral’s quarters.”
“Nobody’ll believe her,” Saul says. “Kara Thrace is a blowhard.”
“You’d know,” Bill says, his voice low.
The four of them look at each other for a quiet, awkward moment.
“So, I think this game is over,” Ellen says quickly. “But it was fun. It was…” she looks over at Laura and her smile widens slightly. “Delicious.”
Laura blushes and glances over at Bill with a smile. “I enjoyed it.”
“Frak,” Saul says. “You two feel free to try that again sometime, just make sure I’m around when you do it.”
“Shut up,” Ellen says, "And get me home, before I change my mind about letting you into my rack again."
Saul gives Bill a nod, which Bill returns just as formally. "Duty calls," Saul says gruffly.
"Damn straight," Ellen replies.
Bill and Laura walk them to the hatch and see them out. Finally, with the hatch closed, Bill turns to Laura and pulls her snugly against him.
"Hey," she says with a giggle. She kisses his chest.
"Hey," he answers as his fingers drift up her spine.
"So, I want to know more about those moves Saul warned me about," Laura says as her mouth moves to the front of Bill's neck.
"I do have a few legendary skills you may be interested in," Bill murmurs with a satisfied hum as her tongue flicks against his jaw.
"You gonna teach me everything you know?" she purrs. Her arms slip around his neck and she nibbles on his ear.
"That'll take all night."
Laura chuckles, nips at his lower lip and looks into his eyes. "I'm here to learn."
Author: icedteainthebag
Pairing: Bill/Laura/Saul/Ellen
Rating: R
Summary: The four people with humanity's fate in the palms of their hands down their sixth straight shots of the night.
Spoilers: none
Word Count: 3,642
Author's Notes: Originally written for the second bsg_pornbattle using the prompt, "Bill/Laura/Saul/Ellen, spin the bottle." This is dedicated to tjonesy, who didn't think a bottle could make our two manly heroes shed their inhibitions quite like this. I had such a good time writing this fic. Thanks for the prompt. ;) And thanks to leiascully on the whiskey advice. I, unfortunately, did not know that Aerelon whiskey > Gemenese whiskey.
x x x x
"3... 2... 1... shot!"
It's the last of Bill's last bottle of Aerelon whiskey. They sit at Bill's table in his quarters--the XO and the Admiral on one side, the President and the XO's wife on the other--as Bill divides it into four tumblers, equally shared. With a sentimental toast by the XO to "What the frak ever," the four people with humanity's fate in the palms of their hands down their sixth straight shots of the night.
Laura's face twists up as if she's just bitten into a lemon. "Gods," she chokes. "I'm so glad it's gone."
"I'm surprised you can still taste it," Bill says with a chuckle as he leans back in his chair.
"Barely," Laura concedes with a smile as she watches Ellen pick up the whiskey bottle. She eyes Ellen warily. "Ellen, there's none left."
Ellen Tigh tosses her head and her long, blond hair falls gracefully over her shoulders. She makes a "hrrmph" sound and sets the bottle down on its side. "I know that," she says to Laura as she rolls her eyes. "I just had an idea."
The way Ellen drawls out "ideaaaaaa" makes Laura shift in her seat.
"Hold on, woman," Saul says with a shake of his head. "You're not gonna show everyone that frakkin' bottle trick you learned at the strip club while you worked your way through college."
Ellen bursts out in laughter. Bill looks at Laura. Laura stares at her empty glass with a frown.
"No, I'm not," Ellen says firmly, her expression serious for a short moment.
"Oh, thank you sweet Lords of Kobol," Laura breathes in relief.
"Wouldn't mind seeing that," Bill mutters as he glances over to Saul.
"Well, it is pretty frakkin' intense," Saul murmurs to him with an elbow nudge.
"Boys!" Ellen says sharply with a hard knock of the bottle against the table. "That's enough of your sick fantasies for one night. I have an idea, and it doesn't necessarily involve anyone sticking anything where it doesn't belong."
"Necessarily?" Laura repeats slowly. She stares at Ellen and watches the woman's smile widen.
"No, I think..." Ellen takes the bottle and gives it a spin on the table. She looks up triumphantly, her face radiant. "I think we should play Spin the Bottle."
Laura's eyes dart to Bill, who looks positively bewildered for a few seconds before his eyes dart to Saul. Laura looks at him too and Saul shrugs, an astonished look on his face.
"What the frak you want me to do?" Saul says, trying to coax one last drop of whiskey out of his empty tumbler. He sets it down with a sigh. "The woman's a frakkin' nut. I love 'er though. Even though she's outta her frakkin' mind sometimes."
"Thank you, honey." Ellen beams.
"I kinda... ah," Laura says, holding onto the table as she seems slightly woozy. "Not... I'm not sure about this, Ellen."
"What's not to be sure of?" Ellen murmurs, her voice smooth and sultry. She puts her hand on Laura's on the table. "Come on, Laura, you can go first."
"Oh, wonderful," Laura murmurs.
"I haven't played that since high school," Bill says. "Frakkin' Spin the Bottle."
"You remember Suzie Miller's party?" Saul says.
"Eleventh year," Bill answers, his voice lower as he chuckles. "Saul, you tricky motherfrakker. I still can't believe you got her to put her mouth--"
"All right," Laura interrupts as she slaps her hands over her ears. "Fine. To save us all from... from another 'Who the Frak Bill and Saul Frakked' story, I'll play. Fine. I will play. If everyone else plays. And I mean everyone. That is... a... a presidential decree." She looks right at Bill and he nearly withers under her glare.
"Everyone's in," Ellen says with a nod of her head toward the men.
"Frak yes," Saul says as he slams his hand on the table.
"Bring it," Bill says gruffly.
The four of them watch Laura's hand tentatively reach for the bottle and pull it to the middle of the table. "Oh, frak this shit," Laura says under her breath as she spends the bottle spinning to the left.
They watch the bottle spin--and oh, it's slow to stop, so slow that Saul audibly huffs and starts looking around for more alcohol.
"Saul Tigh, you will stay right here and play this game," Ellen snaps as she sees his eyes wandering.
"Gods, woman," Saul groans, yet he sits perfectly still.
The bottle slows down and stops. The neck of it points to none other than Ellen Tigh herself.
Laura stares at the bottle and releases a small titter of laughter into the silence of the room.
"Not leavin' now," Saul says as he sits up in his seat. "Check it out, Bill. Frakkin' bottle read my frakkin' mind."
Bill looks at Laura and his face crinkles slightly with concern. "We don't really have to do this, Laura."
Laura takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She shrugs and shakes out her shoulders. "No. No, I'll play along." She turns her body toward Ellen and they both smile apologetically at each other.
"Hey there," Laura says, then winces. "Oh, frak me, Ellen. How old am I, anyway?"
Ellen laughs and pats her arm. "It's okay. It's just a silly game."
"I wanna see some tongue!" Saul requests loudly.
Both women's heads snap toward him. "Shut up," Ellen demands. "Not another word from the frakkin' peanut gallery or I call this whole game off, do you hear me?"
"She's got you sooooo whipped," Bill muses.
"Don't make me kick your ass, old man," Saul growls. Nevertheless, the XO settles back in his chair.
Laura and Ellen look at each other with another smile, this one less nervous. Laura leans in slightly, as does Ellen, and their eyes lock as their lips move closer, inch by inch.
Saul starts to say something and Bill's palm hits his forearm. Hard.
Ellen makes the final maneuver and presses her lips against Laura's, a chaste kiss at first, both of the women perfectly still. The only noise in the room is the soft squeak that comes from Saul's throat and the creaking of Bill's chair as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Laura slowly parts her lips and lets out the softest of moans as Ellen opens her mouth, and suddenly, they're kissing harder, deeper, and Laura's hands move to Ellen's hair to pull her closer.
"Sweet Asses of Kobol," Bill breathes.
"Lords Almighty," Saul mutters.
Ellen's hand moves up to cup Laura's breast, tentative at first, then more firmly. A whimper escapes from the back of Laura's throat as Ellen's hand kneads her breast. Their lips caress each other and it's nearly hypnotizing.
"Frak me," Saul says, unmoving. "Oh, frak me, I'm a goner."
The women break their kiss, flushed and out of breath. Laura untangles her fingers from Ellen's hair and Ellen pulls her hand away from Laura's chest.
Then they look at the two men seated across the table and Ellen is the first to laugh.
"You two look like a dozen Cylon basestars just jumped into the fleet," she howls as her laughter echoes through Bill's quarters. She puts her hand on Laura's shoulder to steady herself.
Laura smiles at Bill, who still looks rather entranced by what he just saw. "You all right, Admiral?" she says with a small smile. She tucks her hair behind her ear.
"I'm good," Bill says with a hard swallow. "All good."
"It's my turn," Ellen says as she grabs the bottle. "Laura got me. Let's see who I get."
"Gods damn it all, I hope you get Laura again," Saul declares as he leans over and watches the bottle intensely.
Ellen spins the bottle. "You're not going to will it to stop anywhere, Saul," she taunts as they all watch the bottle. The anticipation hangs heavy in the air.
"I'll frakkin' try," he says, glaring at it.
The bottle slows and finally lands on its next lucky victim.
"Hey!" Saul exclaims. "The old man is not gonna mouth-frak my woman!"
"There will be no mouth-frakking," Ellen states slowly and thoughtfully, as if she has to work hard to get the right words out. "Besides, Saul, you let Laura mouth-frak me."
"That's different," Bill and Saul say in unison.
"Don't even go there," Laura snaps as she stares both of them down.
They cower, just a little.
Laura clears her throat, adjusts her dress shirt and sits up straight. "Okay. Now. Bill, kiss Ellen."
"Just act like we're back at my wedding reception," Saul chortles as he slaps Bill on the back hard.
"I was so wasted," Bill says, his eyes still on the bottle.
"Bill," Laura asks curiously, "When were you not wasted?"
Saul and Bill look at her as Ellen makes her way around the table to Bill.
Bill looks up at Ellen. "No tit grabbing."
"He's got a handful, at least," Saul says, laughing at his own joke.
Ellen leans in to Bill and looks into his eyes.
"I'll keep my hands to myself," she coos.
Bill closes his eyes and Ellen brushes her lips against his. Saul and Laura watch, both with expressions of fairly horrified fascination. Ellen puts her hands on Bill's cheeks and holds his face steady while she runs her tongue over his upper lip. Bill presses his mouth against hers more tightly, makes a smacking noise with his lips and then pulls away.
"I'm good," Bill says.
"You are frakkin' not," Ellen growls.
"Denied!!" Saul chortles with a satisfied grin.
Ellen looks over at Saul. "Don't you even start with me. I know where you hide your porn."
Laura nearly chokes on nothing at all.
Ellen lets go of Bill's face and sighs heavily. "Well, that was nice, Bill. Real nice."
"Can I have Saul's porn?" Bill asks.
"Spin the frakkin' bottle, Bill," Ellen responds.
"No, you can't," Saul responds, a little slow on the uptake.
Bill reaches over the table and sends the bottle on its spin. His muscular forearm sends it spinning so quickly it nearly makes the group dizzy. The bottle slows, slows, slows, and finally stops.
Laura stands up and straightens her skirt, then fluffs her hair over her shoulder.
“Let me show you how it’s done,” she leans in and whispers as she brushes past Ellen.
The expression on Bill’s face is nothing short of shocked when Laura slings one leg over his lap and straddles him in his chair, her skirt sliding midway up her thighs.
“There you go,” Saul says with a laugh.
Laura runs her hands up Bill’s chest and he takes a deep breath in. She cocks her eyebrow as her hands slide over his shoulders and back down his arms.
“What are you doing?” Bill murmurs as their eyes meet.
Laura pushes her hand through the front of his hair and scrapes her fingers over his scalp. She tugs his head back and leans over to whisper in his ear.
“What does it feel like I’m doing?” she responds, her voice barely above a whisper as her teeth graze his earlobe. She lifts her head and presses her lips against his while she pushes her tongue into his mouth. Bill makes a whimpering sound in the back of his throat and she smiles against his lips, then kisses him deeper as she holds his head in place.
Ellen stands with her arms crossed, an amused expression on her face as she watches Laura and Bill. She glances over them to Saul and winks at him.
“You takin’ notes?” Saul asks.
“Pssshhh. This is all old hat to me,” Ellen declares with a pout of her lips.
Bill runs his hands up Laura’s thighs and cups her ass and she hums softly into his mouth, her lips working hard on his until she pulls away dramatically for a deep gasp of air. Her hair has fallen over her face and she blows it upward with a giggle.
“How was that?” Laura asks Bill. She kisses the tip of his nose.
“It was pretty frakkin’ hot,” Saul interjects.
“Shut up, Saul,” Bill says as he lowers his chin to nuzzle into Laura’s neck. “I’m a little busy.”
“It’s your turn, Laura,” Ellen says as she taps her fingers against her forearms. “Spin the bottle. You two can get hot and heavy later.”
Laura smirks and turns so she’s sitting on Bill sideways. She grins back at him. “I think something’s come up,” she quips, her eyes sparkling as she wiggles her ass in his lap.
“Save it for later,” Bill chuckles as he rubs her thigh. She giggles and reaches over to spin the bottle on the table top again.
“Round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody frakkin’ knows, but I better get some frakkin’ action soon, gods damn it,” Saul rambles as they all watch the bottle.
“Ha!” Ellen claps her hands together as the rotation stops. “Oh, wonderful.”
Laura shifts her eyes from the bottle to Saul, who stares at the bottle, which is pointed at him.
“Wishes do come true,” Saul mutters as he stands up from his chair.
Bill watches Saul as Saul turns toward them. “Saul, if I see you try that trademark move of yours, I’ll kick your sorry ass from here to... where the frak ever.”
“She should be worried about your moves, Adama,” Saul says as he walks up to Laura on Bill’s lap. Laura looks up expectantly with a smile even as she bites her lip.
“What moves, Bill?” she asks innocently as she stares up into Saul’s eyes.
“I’ll show ya later,” Bill answers as his grip on her thigh tightens.
Tigh leans down and whispers into Laura’s ear. Laura starts giggling, a soft giggle at first, then louder until she reaches up and puts her arms around Saul’s neck. She pulls him down and kisses him hard as she lifts her body off of Bill.
Saul slides his arms around her waist and pulls her off of Bill’s lap while he kisses Laura back. Her legs wrap around his waist and she’s shaking with laughter.
“What the frak,” Bill groans with a chuckle.
“Enjoy it while you can!” Ellen calls as she tilts her head to the side with a grimace. “You’re sleeping on the floor tonight, asshole.”
“Mmmmmmmmmmm,” Saul murmurs against Laura’s lips. He’s got a tight grip on her ass and he holds her up while their tongues battle it out.
“Mmmmmmmmmm,” Laura responds, then pulls away laughing. “I’m just not feelin’ it, Saul.”
“I’m feeling plenty,” Saul growls as he squeezes her ass.
“Well, I feel that,” Laura murmurs with a giggle. Saul lets go of her ass and she slides down his body, then looks over her shoulder at Bill.
“You’re better,” she says as she winks at Bill.
“You didn’t give me a chance,” Saul says as he sits back down in his chair. “I’d out-frak Bill Adama, anywhere, any time, lady. And I have.”
“He sure has,” Ellen says, her voice smug.
The four of them look at each other for a quiet, awkward moment.
“Okay, Saul,” Ellen says quickly. “Spin that bottle, baby. Spin it good.”
“My pleasure,” Saul says. “About frakkin’ time it was my turn. Not that I mind. That last kiss was frakkin’ hot. You have to admit, Madam President, that was pretty frakkin’ hot.”
Saul leans over and gives the bottle a strong spin, nearly sending it off the table.
“Oh yeah,” Laura says. She runs her fingers over Bill’s shoulders as she walks past him and around the table back to her seat. “It was on, Colonel Tigh.”
“You know it,” he growls as he winks up at her, then stares at the bottle again.
The bottle slows, and slows, and finally stops.
“Oh, frak,” Laura breathes. Ellen’s laugh is shrill and she claps her hands together. Laura looks over at her, slightly annoyed at her enthusiasm, then looks at Bill, where the bottle is pointing.
“Do it!” Ellen says. “Oh, Gods, this is going to be amazing.”
“I demand a respin,” Saul says as he glances at Bill, who is still staring at the bottle. “Thing’s gotta be rigged or weighted or some frakkin’ thing, maybe it’s broken.”
“Saul,” Ellen says sternly. “You know the rules. Everyone’s in.”
“I wanna be out,” Bill says. He sounds slightly ill and he is, in fact, looking slightly queasy.
“Come on, Bill,” Ellen says, walking up to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like your swords haven’t crossed before. And that’s way more intimate.”
Laura’s mouth drops open. “Your swords have… crossed? What the frak does that mean?”
“Old fleet terminology for burying the hatchet,” Saul says quickly.
“So to speak,” Ellen purrs.
“All right,” Bill interrupts. “All right, all right, get the frak over here, Saul, and get it over with.”
Saul stares at Bill. “You outta your frakkin’ mind, old man?”
“No,” Bill says, “But I’m drunk enough not to care, and this is what the ladies want, isn’t that right?”
Ellen nods emphatically, Laura, less emphatically.
“I’m still thinking about crossing swords,” Laura admits.
Bill stands up and walks up to Saul, their chests bumping. “Doesn’t mean I wanna frak ya,” Bill says as he looks Saul in the eye.
Saul nods, then furrows his brow. “What the frak’s wrong with me, you don’t want to frak me? You got a thing against bald guys, old man? Just cause you got that moppa hair on your head?”
Ellen puts her hands on her hips and a sultry smile spreads across her face. “Enough foreplay, boys. Get it on.”
Bill glances back at her. “We are not getting it on, Ellen.”
“Nobody’s asking you to cross swords,” Laura says, her tone biting. Bill looks at her and she’s smirking.
“Oh, now you too,” he grumbles. “Frakkin’ wonderful.”
“Shut up and kiss me, you old fool,” Saul says. They both burst into laughter.
“Who says romance is lost?” Bill says as he grabs the back of Saul’s head.
"No tit grabbing," Saul says.
“Pucker up, you son of a bitch,” Bill growls as he leans in.
Bill’s lips meet Saul’s bruisingly, with the brunt force of a Viper on an emergency landing. Ellen squeals in laughter while Laura covers her eyes and peeks through her fingers. Bill and Saul are motionless for a few seconds, then Saul grabs Bill’s waist and pulls him sharply against his body with a grunt.
“Oh, my Gods,” Laura gasps as she begins laughing.
“The bromance,” Ellen wheezes. "Go, Bill, Go!"
The women watch as Bill’s mouth opens and they see the men start kissing, full-on, with their tongues and they grip each other tightly.
“Nnnnnnnnggggggggh,” Saul sputters against Bill’s mouth.
In their drunken state, nary a party to the XO and Admiral’s impromptu makeout session noticed that the door to the hatch had spun open and Kara Thrace had poked her head in. Not until Kara made her prescence completely and utterly obvious.
“What the frak!” Kara screams, instantly doubling over with laughter.
Saul and Bill jump apart and look in horror at Kara. Ellen and Laura’s laughter is cut short and they turn around in their seats and watch Kara completely losing it in the doorway.
“My… oh my…” Kara wheezes.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Bill says quickly.
“Yes, it really was,” Ellen responds with a shrug.
“Kara…” Laura says, then falters at the inability of her alcohol-addled mind to make sense of the situation Kara has just observed. “It was a game.”
Kara finally rises from her throe of laughter and glances at the table. “Spin the bottle?” she asks incredulously, then laughs again, even harder it seems.
“Lieutenant Thrace,” Bill says, “I think it’s time for you to leave.”
“Oh, I’ll leave,” she says as she wipes her eyes. “That’s the most frakked up thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lotta frakked up things, gentlemen.”
“Get out,” Saul hollers.
“Yessir,” Kara says with a grin. She leaves and slams the hatch shut behind her.
Laura turns back to Bill and Saul and sighs. “It’s going to take approximately four minutes for the entire Galactica crew to know what Kara just observed in the Admiral’s quarters.”
“Nobody’ll believe her,” Saul says. “Kara Thrace is a blowhard.”
“You’d know,” Bill says, his voice low.
The four of them look at each other for a quiet, awkward moment.
“So, I think this game is over,” Ellen says quickly. “But it was fun. It was…” she looks over at Laura and her smile widens slightly. “Delicious.”
Laura blushes and glances over at Bill with a smile. “I enjoyed it.”
“Frak,” Saul says. “You two feel free to try that again sometime, just make sure I’m around when you do it.”
“Shut up,” Ellen says, "And get me home, before I change my mind about letting you into my rack again."
Saul gives Bill a nod, which Bill returns just as formally. "Duty calls," Saul says gruffly.
"Damn straight," Ellen replies.
Bill and Laura walk them to the hatch and see them out. Finally, with the hatch closed, Bill turns to Laura and pulls her snugly against him.
"Hey," she says with a giggle. She kisses his chest.
"Hey," he answers as his fingers drift up her spine.
"So, I want to know more about those moves Saul warned me about," Laura says as her mouth moves to the front of Bill's neck.
"I do have a few legendary skills you may be interested in," Bill murmurs with a satisfied hum as her tongue flicks against his jaw.
"You gonna teach me everything you know?" she purrs. Her arms slip around his neck and she nibbles on his ear.
"That'll take all night."
Laura chuckles, nips at his lower lip and looks into his eyes. "I'm here to learn."