"The worst mistake is giving up (You are part of everything)" (6/7)
***
XII.
CW HQ, Dallas/Texas
October 2007,
day of contract signing
The conference room looked like the first time Jensen had seen it, all made up with fancy bottles of water, glasses and dossiers bound in leather.
It looked, official but maybe a little clinical. Thinking about what was about to happen here had him sweaty and slightly sick.
Kristine, her father, Danneel and their lawyers were already there and seated at the conference table. As were Jared, Jerry and Mike. JD and Jensen had just arrived and were about to settle in when the door opened. Two of the senior board members entered the room and sat down behind Jerry.
Kristine had a little frown marring her face and Jensen’s heart skipped a beat. He actually started to pray for everything going right and didn’t dare to look at Jared. Mostly out of fear and to prevent that one of their looks would scream ‘lovers’ because then Kristine would know something was up.
Kripke and Manners were the last ones to arrive. They had actually insisted on being there to give Jerry and Jared the best possible support they could get.
Jensen had to hold back a smile when they had shown up at the hotel. It was obvious that they just want to have first row seats when the show started.
They all settled in while Sandy and one of the Harris’ assistants set up the laptops for the protocols. Speeches were held about what historic moment that was, presents where exchanged and finally the merger contract and the marriage contract where put on the table. The lump in Jensen’s throat grew with every second that passed and the door didn’t open.
It happened when Jerry was about to set down the pen to sign his name. Riley was suddenly there along with more IRS and FBI agents flooding the room. T
hey were saying things, presenting arrest warrants, all calm and not shouting and creating chaos like Jensen had imagined. Everything was over so fast that Jensen didn’t even have time to take it all in.
Besides Kristine they arrested one of PCCM’s senior board members, one of the two that had been invited by Jerry to join the merger meeting since they had been there the longest and should be present.
They arrested them for tax fraud, insider trading and industrial espionage. The moment Riley had uttered the words, Max Harris face turned to stone and he wasn’t looking anywhere near Kristine anymore.
At the end of everything Kristine was simultaneously crying, begging her father to believe that it was all a misunderstanding and shouting obscenities at the room in general and her idiotic lover especially.
She was screaming at him when Jared stepped forward and told her to her face that she had been the one to reveal everything. That she had been caught by him while talking to her lover. That shut her up long enough for the agents to escort her out of the room.
After that everything was like a blur. Jensen saw Jared getting hugged by Jerry, saw Max talking to both of them. He saw Danneel supporting her father when they left the room and he saw JD talking silently to Jared.
Their eyes had locked then and it had taken Mike’s hand on his shoulder to shake him out of it. Kripke was looking at him expectantly and Jensen realised he had missed something important.
“Uh, sorry… I missed that.”
“We were just talking about a little party tonight before we go back to Dallas and talk about that partnership for you.”
“Uh… wow.. yeah of course. Just let me talk to Jared first. Would that be okay?”
Erik smiled at him, nodded and left the room to join Manners, who was already waiting for the elevator. Mike just grinned, told him to go and get his man and that he had to talk to JD first anyway.
The second Mike was gone Jared was there, smiling brightly.
“It’s over isn’t it?”
“Yeah.. Yeah Jay it is. The company is saved huh?”
Jared nodded, fidgeted and Jensen knew what he wanted, but wasn’t sure that this was the right place. The room was still full of agents, lawyers and company employees. They would have time for things later.
Jensen just wanted to know that they had managed to reach their goal, getting Jared out of the deal and securing both companies’ existences.
“Yeah. Both are. Danneel managed to buy the stocks they lost through Kristine’s deals. And JD and Daniel, you know the other senior board member? They are taking over most of the stocks of PCCM, just enough to secure business and to be able to go on working. We have to change some things but yeah.”
“We?”
“Uhm yeah…I guess. Dad will retire, he will be there to help us through but I think… I guess JD just offered me a CEO position. He’d be the boss because he knows all the legal stuff. And they.. they agreed to work together with Harris… some kind of merger but with independent companies. Something like that.”
“That’s great Jared. That sounds really great.”
“Yeah… Uh..Jen.. are we.. are we seeing each other tonight?”
Jensen didn’t know why but seeing Jared’s lost puppy look with all the insecurity that he could manage he had to hug him. He knew Jared was playing the card and was playing it well, but he didn’t care. Not anymore.
***
XIII.
Clarksville/Red River County, Texas
Seven months later,
March 1st 2008
The land lay still, tinged in golden sunlight. The horses were still out, but he had time later to bring them in. He was sitting at his desk, which was facing one of the huge windows looking out over the porch and the vast land and pastures of the farm.
At this time of the day, the light was beautiful and he always took a few minutes from the work he was doing to watch.
This was the place he called home. It was home more than every other place he had lived at, even his parent’s house had less a claim on that term.
It was peaceful out here, quiet most of the time. Too quiet sometimes. The silence had a tendency to make him think, which wasn’t bad, but sometimes not so good for his peace of mind.
It had only been three months since he had moved to the farm and sometimes he wondered if it had been the right decision. But in moments like this, when he was looking out on to his land there were no doubts.
Arms came around him from behind. Soft lips nuzzled his neck and he couldn’t hold back a sigh of contentment. This was perfect, after all. They were here and it had been a long way for them to go to get there. There had been struggles and even some fights, but in the end it turned out well. Really well.
“Hey, you should get ready you know.. They’ll be here soon. I guess you don’t want them to see you still in your pj’s huh?”
Jensen laughed but didn’t move away from Jared. It was just too nice to be sitting there with Jared kneeling behind him, head on his shoulder and arms around him. It was even more than the ranch was. He loved it more than the ranch and he knew Jared felt the same. There wasn’t a day he didn’t try to say it.
“Yeah. Soon.. Just let me watch it a little bit longer okay?”
Jared nodded and mumbled against his skin, still keeping his arms around Jensen and looking out the window as well. “We did good there, didn’t we?”
Jensen settled back against Jared’s chest again, turned his head a little to kiss Jared slightly on the cheek and then turned back to take in the land where he had spent half of his childhood and where he wanted to possibly spent the rest of his life.
Yes, they had done good. And he still wondered how they managed to come out of that the way they did. October 2007 would always be a time a he’d remember, simply because it changed his life for good. For the better.
***
September 2007
Jared had been giddy on the way over to the hotel. He'd waited for Jensen to call him and to tell him that he was back in San Antonio. Jared was practically bouncing with energy and excitement when he reached Jensen’s suite. It didn’t take long for Jensen to open the door after the fist knock.
“You summoned?”
“You're a dork.”
Jared couldn’t do anything else but nod at that because it was true. He was still slightly bouncing, not able to stop the excitement running through him.
“But you love me like that.” It was out of his mouth before he could stop it. If he ever was to write a book about his life he would probably describe this moment as one where time stood still. He was frozen, rooted to the spot and didn’t really know what to say next or how to react. Looking back on it later he would decide that this had been the perfect moment to say things like that.
Because Jensen just blinked slightly, smiled at him and pulled him close.
“Yes. I guess I do.”
The smile that broke across his face must have blinded Jensen, at least for a second, because Jared could actually feel it splitting his face in halves.
They had been together for a little over two months now but it had all been slow and sweet in the middle of all the chaos and plans and whatnot. Something steady, something to rely on and seek strength from had developed between them. Something they were both willing to continue and proud of that they had managed it so far.
To both their surprise they had actually managed to stay focused on the really important things and had kept things tame and mostly hidden.
Sneaking in secret smiles and looks, kisses in hidden corners and even the occasional night spent exploring each other had been a tough task but it had worked.
Jensen’s fingers under his shirt, his mouth attached to the point below his ear brought Jared back from his journey into the past. The little moan escaping him didn’t even have the power anymore to make him blush, they were way past that. He smiled and pulled Jensen even closer.
“I… Me, too. I love you, you know? I know I haven’t said it before and I don’t even know why.. But you are… my life. Have been for a while. And I don’t want to lose you, not because of… you know… not because of the company or my family. I can’t let you go now. Not now. Not ever.”
The words just came. Jared just had to say them, to make Jensen understand how much he meant to Jared.
Jensen did understand. His voice was low, intimate, soothing. It was everything Jared needed to hear to know that this between them was real, was existing and getting stronger.
“I know, Jay. I know. I am not letting you go either. Couldn’t. Don’t want to.”
Words whispered against skin, followed by small kisses, caresses of tongue against throat. Words imprinted into his soul. Jared practically hauled Jensen up against him. He just had to get him closer.
The kiss was slow but heated, much like their first one but with much more intention behind it. Jared couldn’t believe that he was finally allowed to touch, to taste, to have it all up and close. He kissed and nibbled along Jensen’s jaw, letting his fingers travel and hook into the waistband of Jensen’s jeans.
Jensen still smelled like sun and grilled steaks, and Jared thought they were probably having a barbeque when he had called earlier. The smoky smell mixed with the sweat from being in a car for hours. There was so much in there that Jared associated with Jensen that he doubted he would be able to have a barbeque again without getting hard.
“Jared. Jay, slow down, we don’t have much time. JD and Mike are on their way. Might be here any minute now.”
“Can’t.. Jen. I just… Need you. Now. Wanted… Want you..”
With Jared’s hand inside his pants and Jared’s lips attached to his neck Jensen couldn’t say no. He hadn’t really been able to say no to Jared for a long time now, so it was kind of fruitless to even try. Jensen just gave up and opted to enjoy this moment.
He had missed Jared so much. It had only been two days but it had felt like a lifetime. He had dreamed about that, had dreamed about Jared being forceful and taking him. And Jensen didn’t even care how pathetic that sounded. Jared turned into a completly different person during sex, and that wasn’t bad.
Not at all. Jared was powerful, dominating but still gentle and caring. Jared took over and Jensen loved it.
He wanted Jared. Had touched himself to thoughts about that muscled body and soft skin. Ever since the night on Jared’s couch, Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop thinking about Jared in a less than child-friendly way.
“Oh God Jen… Please.”
“Yeah.. okay.. It’s okay Jared.”
The sex was frantic, desperate even. Much like the first time, but so much better as well. Jared didn’t even get out of his clothes, just got the shirt open and hanging from his shoulders and his pants around his thighs.
Jensen on the other hand was naked in seconds and laid out on the coffee table in the middle of his suite. Jared was a force of nature and he was there. All hot and demanding and above Jensen. Jensen’s hand clenched in Jared’s shirt as they moved together, his naked sweaty back sliding across the table making Jared growl when Jensen got too far away from him.
Jensen never knew how, but Jared had managed to snag the lotion from the side table next to the couch and had Jensen open and even more wanting in mere seconds. There wasn’t any finesse, nothing gentle. It was all primal want and need. And it was what both of them needed in that moment.
Jensen drew himself up a little so that he could kiss Jared and not just lay there doing nothing. He moved his hips, bringing him down on Jared’s fingers and making both of them groan out loud. And then the fingers were gone. Jensen whined, wiggled his hips some more just to get some friction, any contact with Jared he could get.
And then Jared was there. Not just there but inside. Burning hot, huge and all Jensen had ever wanted. He was the missing piece. Not only in his life and heart, but in his soul and his body as well.
Jared was there and they fit like puzzled pieces, slotted together with deep groans and heat. Jensen’s fingers tangled in sweaty curls, bringing Jared’s mouth close to his again. Jared sucked on Jensen’s lips and moved.
He started slow, but it wasn’t before long that the rhythm stuttered and they were just rutting against each other. It was desperate and hot and so good that Jensen actually whited out a few seconds when he came, Jared inside him and Jared’s hands all over him was too much for him to handle.
When he came to Jared had actually cleaned him up and had moved him onto the couch. Jensen felt good, satiated and okay with the world. Jared was nibbling at his neck again when Jensen caught sight of the condom dropped down next to the table. He eyed the tied off condom and look back at Jared with a questioning frown.
“Uh… you know.. wallet.”
“And it was still good?”
“Dude. Of course. I am always safe.I.. uhm change it every months or so.”
“Expecting much?”
“Hey, you didn’t even think of it.”
“True..”
JD arrived first, making them jump apart. Jensen had barely managed to get his pants back on and straighten his shirt when the second knock sounded.
Jared being all smug had just pulled his jeans back up and was sitting on the couch like nothing had happened. Only his hair sticking to all kinds of directions and his flushed face gave him away. Jensen hated him for a second there.
JD didn’t even blink an eye at their dishevelled appearance. He just strutted in, flung his briefcase on the very same table Jensen had just been laying on seconds ago and walked on into the kitchen niche to make himself some coffee. And that all while muttering under his breath about it being about time.
Jared just grinned at Jensen, all happy and smug. Jensen had to grin back. He felt the same.
When Mike finally arrived, Jared had the chance to relay what he had heard and what that meant for the company or companies in that case. He told them everything that he knew about the things Kristine had been talking about on the phone.
And JD finally had the idea to set a trap that had actually be able to save the companies.
They all had agreed to call Riley and set up a meeting with him as well as with Jerry. Things were finally looking positive again and Jared was starting to hope that there was a chance for him and Jensen after all.
He didn’t want to let go anymore. Not now. Not after they had finally found each other. Jared could say that this day had been one of the most exciting and most exhausting he ever had.
When everything was said and done, Mike left first claiming not wanting to show up late to a date. Jared just grinned, told him to drive carefully and to treat Tom right. Jeff had left an hour later, after going over the plan again.
Jensen though had asked Jared to stay. So he did.
Tangled together in Jensen’s bed they talked for a while, talked about how things might go down, about what the IRS or the FBI would or could make out of the evidence. What they didn’t talk much about was the future, though. Their future. It was Jensen pleading time and Jared couldn’t really say anything against that.
It was all too new and with the things going on around them, it wasn’t exactly perfect timing anyway.
October 2007
It was the day after and Jensen’s future had never been so undecided and unclear before. It scared him at first, but after the talk he had had with Eric the evening before he was looking forward again. He made a decision and he wasn’t regretting it.
He doubted he ever would.
Eric had actually been the one to mention the partnership again when they had been in the hotel bar celebrating. And since Eric Kripke had always been a perceptive bastard, he already knew about Jensen’s state of mind. Or Mike had told him, but Jensen couldn’t be sure about it.
So Eric knew something was going on, and so it wasn’t that hard for him to figure out who it was that had taken Jensen’s heart and mind in storm (Mike’s words not Eric’s). Jensen just thought it would be better to be straight about this thing and just flat out tell his bosses.
Eric just smiled and said they had been obvious in the conference room and that it was none of his business now anyway.
Erik talked a while about the case and that the CW, that the partners, were impressed about how Jensen and Mike had handled it. How they managed to get the best deal for the clients out of it, despite the circumstances. And it certainly had helped that this case had put the CW in good graces with the government after helping them out this much.
Jensen barely heard a thing Erik was saying, he was busy shredding his beer label to pieces while worrying over how his future might look like if he got offered the partnership in Dallas. He didn’t know what Jared was planning to do so that didn’t let him much space to act within.
“Okay, so since the firm was planning to open an office here in San Antonio anyway we thought you might be the right man to maintain it. It will be small and mostly there for cases that take a long time or are charity cases. What do you think?”
San Antonio? An office here and he was supposed to lead it? He couldn’t be that lucky, could he?
“Me?”
“Well, actually you and Mike. I just thought you’d wanted to stay here. And maybe have a little less work for more money. You are a brilliant lawyer, but we can’t really have you working yourself dead for us, wouldn’t be all that bright. We need you fresh and actually happy, not burned out because of work. Same goes for Mike, actually.”
Jensen looked over to Mike, who was grinning like this was the best day of his life and Jensen thought it might just be that. Tom was staying in San Antonio to build up the clinic some more and with Jared busy working with JD, he would need more time with that. So there was actually no doubt about Mike loving to stay. Jensen couldn’t agree more.
That night Jensen had shown up at Jared’s place hoping he would be there instead of staying the night at the Padalecki estate celebrating.
Jared was, had been waiting even. Jensen had, after all, promised to meet him later. He just hadn’t counted on it being so late.
They had celebrated, had not only celebrated their victory but Jensen’s job offer as well. Jared had been bouncy through all of it, smiling as wide as Jensen had rarely seen him do. It made his heart clench, but in a good way. He loved seeing Jared like that, happy and careless and free of the burdens he had carried for so long.
The job presented a chance. It was their chance to finally be together.
Jensen wanted to be with Jared no matter what and this job offer was the way for it to happen.
Jared actually told him that he would go to Dallas for Jensen. That he would follow Jensen everywhere as long as Jensen wanted him close.
Jensen though liked San Antonio. And considering the job offer and they way his bosses had dealt with the whole matter Jensen was pretty sure that his job was the last thing he needed to worry about. He even thought that Eric didn’t care the least that Jared had been his client and that it had been totally unprofessional to hook up.
Even Manners just said that as long as it was just this one client. He didn’t care anyway, after all everything turned out okay. If it hadn’t, they would have been talking differently but as things were neither Eric nor Kim saw the need to tell the other partners. For them, it was as if Jensen and Jared only got together afterward. No one could say anything against that.
The only thing that hadn’t been perfect that day had been the phone call he had gotten from his father telling that the farm had been sold. He didn’t even realise that Jared hadn’t said much about that, had just taken him into his arms and had kissed him for hours.
Jensen had fallen asleep that night with Jared in his arms, a smile on his face and with the knowledge that finally things seemed to work for instead of against them. Harley and Sadie curled up against them and Jared breathing slow nothings into his neck.
Epilogue