Fic: "Somebody made you smile into their lens” Part 1 A
PART ONE: "aimless wandering - This is the life"
London
Sometimes Jared doesn’t understand people.
It’s a perfect day to visit the museum. It's been snowing for hours and, really, who wants to be outside in weather like this? So, he doesn’t get why all the people he hands leaflets to on his way to dinner just look at him and shake their heads.
He frowns, because it's not like the leaflets about the new exhibition are some kind of religious recruiting letter or whatever. Some of the people even tell him to look outside and explain just how impossible it will be to get to the museum.
He knows they're wrong. He got there just fine this morning. The central line was one of the lines still running smoothly, despite the snow driven chaos. But he doesn’t argue, not with people on the way to their work or nor those on their way back home because he knows it’s useless. They’ll just think he's demented or an idiot.
Instead, he just shrugs at every rejection, pulls his jacket tighter around himself, clutching his book of the week tightly, and walks towards the small bistro on Southampton Row. Walking past the Bedford hotel, he risks a brief glance inside the lobby to make sure George isn’t on duty. He doesn't want to give him the chance to drag Jared into another long-winded discussion about British history and how everything is falling apart these days. He likes the older man just fine, they even occasionally meet up for lunch at Sam’s bistro, but sometimes being around George can be a little much.
Instead of George, Jared sees is a group of guys possibly manhandling instruments. Most of them look like busboys, but one looks like he is having a fit over the way the instruments are being treated. Jared can relate to that and instantly misses the feeling of a guitar in his hands. But for now, the book on the Mongolian hordes will have to do as a suitable breakfast break lecture.
Passing the hotel entrance and almost slipping on the slushy snow, Jared drags his gaze away from the lobby and focuses on the street ahead of him. He really is hungry and he's glad that Mr. Hallow let him leave earlier. They still have a lot of work to do with the new exhibition, especially with the midnight opening in two days.
It will be his last project for the British Museum and he wants it to be awesome. He wants to be at the opening, wants to watch the people taking it all in. He wants to see awe on their faces and he really can’t wait to answer all the questions he knows they'll ask.
He's excited.
Though not just by the opening. He's also kind of excited about the weather. He loves walking through the snow, loves the feeling of it crunching under his sneakers. He's perfectly aware that sneakers aren’t exactly the right footwear for conditions like this, but he doesn't care. Especially since they're perfect for the museum,and not to mention easy to get rid off in the office.
When he walks through the bistro’s door, Sam is at the counter. She looks up, catches his gaze and smiles. Jared steps inside and immediately has to catch himself on the closest chair as his feet slide over the slippery floor. Though he doesn't fall, he manages to crash into the door frame with a grunt. His shoulder throbs just from connecting with the hard metal frame and its thousands of screws. He manages to catch the book and leaflets that are about to slide out of his grasp and his eyes momentarily settle on the screws in the frame while his brain tries to catch up with his body.
A typical day, then. Why Jared hoped it’d be different, he doesn’t know.
Sam just laughs, shakes her head and goes back to preparing an order for the two girls waiting at the counter. Of course, he grumbles to himself, only he can literally crash into the shop when it’s not empty.
Jared blushes slightly and ducks his head. Typical. So much for the argument that he won’t slip wearing sneakers. Sam had told him a hundred times to watch his feet in weather like this. She's always right, he thinks with a sigh.
“Hey, Jay. You are early today.”
“Hi, Sam. Early break. The mummies aren’t too entertaining today.”
“And they usually are?” Sam smiles because she knows him far too well to just let that opportunity slide. The girls at the counter roll their eyes and look a bit like they're facing ‘the crazy’ personified. Jared can’t blame them, but he can’t help himself from answering Sam either.
“Of course they are. Even just the dating procedure is the most fascinating thing ever. Seeing how the results emerge and show you just how old they are! It's exciting. Of course, today the bloody scanner not working and all we can do is look at them.”
Even if his tendency to knock things over and to fall over his own limps is what established his dork status among his friends, it's his brain and its ability to outshine almost everyone he knows that makes most people feel stunned, and maybe even intimidated, when they talk to him. But it just means he never knows if he's saying too much too fast or just too much in general.
Sam just laughs again and then she hands over the orders to the girls, who by now are staring outright at Jared. At least he's used to it. And he'll never, not in a million years, believe when people tell him it’s because of his looks and not because of the verbal diarrhea leaving his mouth.
Sam glances at him while she gets his usual order ready. He's been coming to her bistro for the last three years and there's no need to even voice his order anymore. She looks at him again and Jared just knows what comes next. It’s their routine and he doesn’t know how to break it, especially because he's pretty sure he can’t.
He looks outside, at the usually busy street that is a little less busy due to the snow. He watches the snow, still falling heavily, and the people hurrying along. He doesn’t want to look at Sam when the question comes. He doesn't ever know how to answer, how to be truthful without worrying everyone too much.
“Are you sleeping, Jared?”
“Uhm, a little.Yes.”
“Jared.”
Sam's like his mother away from home and in moments like these she sounds exactly like a mother, too. Jared can’t help but smile. As much as the question frustrates him, it's still nice to know people care.
“I know, Sam. I know. I have my meds now, got them this morning before work. I’ll sleep." He pauses, then, "And I'm okay, actually.”
She lets the answer slide, at least for now, and moves onto safer topics. “So, how's work? Any new discoveries?”
“No, not really. Mostly just new aspects of old ones. But I think those count." He smiles over at her, then continues. "Work's good. It’s just … I can’t believe that it's nearly over, that these are my last few days at the museum. I … it’s weird to think about going back home. I love this place. I love London.”
Sam smiles as she hands him the obligatory coffee that accompanies Jared’s breakfast break. It'll be followed by tea and a scone, and yes, Jared 's quite aware of just how cliché he actually is. He doesn’t mind because it tastes awesome. The sandwiches he’ll keep for lunch back at the office. He's already looking forward to get started on a new book as well. The Mongolian hordes, as fascinating as they are, only have so many pages and he's almost finished. Maybe he'll get the last pages done during tea.
“I know you do. But you’ll see your family again. It's been quite a while and the project at UT can’t be all that bad. Especially since they want to pay you so much and you’ll have a chance of doing something new.”
“I know, Sam. I just … it’s London and this is kind of like home now. With you, Billy in the department, and all the people I know here. So much more than I ever knew at home. When I'm here, I'm not just that weird geek everyone stares at.”
“No. Just someone whose brain is overactive.” Sam says, smiling and then hands the tea and scone over the counter. Jared’s coffee is already gone and he loves the smell of the tea in front of him. He’ll miss this when he's back home.
“Oh gee thanks, Sam.”
But Jared grins at her because he knows how she meant it and he rather likes the teasing. He especially appreciates the fact that it actually is teasing and not mocking. He's suffered through mocking all his life and sometimes he thinks it's probably one of the reasons why he was so eager to leave home. Not that Europe made it all better, but it certainly made it easier.
He has more friends in London than back home, but even then, it's not like you'd call him socialite or anything close to being a normal twenty-something man. He knows his hobbies scare people and paired with his tendency to talk people to death, he isn't surprised at his lack of a social life. Jared understands that he's socially awkward, but London helped, at least a little bit, to reduce his awkwardness.
“I just worry that there'll be no one making the coffee how you like it." She pauses, smiling slightly as when she speaks again. "And coffee that can keep you awake. With you not sleeping and all.”
“Aw, Sam. I know you’ll miss me. You love me too much not to.”
Jared reaches out for his second coffee that always, always follows the tea and scone. He grins at Sam again, then misses the cup by a mere inch. His fingertips don't, and he manages to send the cup flying over the counter -- directly onto his jeans.
It’s really fucking hot, Jared thinks, grimacing. He doesn’t move for a second and then leaps up, racing to the bathroom at the back of the shop. It's just another typical day for Jared.
Looking down at the stain on his jeans, Jared tries to decide if he should hoof it home and change or just suck it up and deal. It isn’t a very big stain and not even that wet anymore, so maybe it'll be dry when he gets back to the museum. Then again, home isn’t that far either.
Not far at all, really, just inconvenient. After a moment he decides that he'll go anyway. If he leaves now, he won’t even be back late to work. Deep in thought, calculating the time needed to get home, changed and go back to the museum, Jared never looks at Sam as he makes his way back through the shop.
He's about to leave, has the door handle clasped already, when Sam calls out for him to wait. He turns but never lets go of the door, which isn’t one of his smartest moves. A second later he is chest to chest with solid muscle and green eyes.
Jared blinks.
“Watch it, man.”
So, he frowns, green-eyed muscle guy is a jerk. Go figure.
“I'm sorry?”
“It isn’t very intelligent to block the entrance like that.”
“Uh…” Jared's actually speechless at being confronted with that much rudeness and unfriendly behaviour. And being actually unable to utter a sound says quite a bit about the level of annoyed confusion he's currently in.
“Hey, don’t listen to him. He's had a bad day and is being a bitch.”
Jared has to look down to face the new guy. Blue eyes, dark brown hair and a smile Jared would die for. If, of course, he wasn’t so annoyed just then. Green-eyes sends blue-eyes a glare and marches to the counter. Jared has to bite down on his cheek to keep himself from laughing out loud. And really, it’s just like him to come up with physical synonyms for someone he's just run into.
“Jared? You okay?”
“Yes, Sam. I'm fine. What did you want anyway?”
“Well, for you to take your food with you.”
Jared blushes, looks down and grabs the bag Sam's holding out to him. Blue-eyes actually laughs but it’s surprisingly amused, not mocking. Sam smiles as well, actually patting him on the shoulder. Jared wishes for a hole to open up and swallow him. Way to go and looking like a fool in front of a totally hot guy. Or two hot guys, Jared can’t really decide.
Speaking of hot guy, blue-eyes winks at him when Jared passes him on his way out.
“Say hi to the mummies for me, Jared.”
“Seriously, Sam.”
“What? You do speak to them.”
Jared thinks that this would be the perfect moment for another hole to open up and swallow him. Sam has always had the perfect timing and antenna to accomplish the greatest possible embarrassment for Jared. This time he actually minds. For the first time in three years, Jared wishes Sam had just held her tongue.
The snort following him out of the bistro will stay with him for the rest of the day.
Jared doesn’t look back, doesn’t even say goodbye to Sam, and doesn’t think of the book that is still lying on the counter. He just leaves.
***
The snow outside the hotel room window is still falling. Has been for hours, and despite the walk down the street to get something else to eat instead of hotel food, none of the band has left the suite.
Jensen clicks through the cache of his digital camera, sorting out the photos he'll present to the tour manager once they have a chance to meet up. He absentmindedly rubs his chest, the spot still a little sore from where some freaking giant had run him over this morning and doesn’t really think about anything but floppy brown hair and strangely coloured eyes.
Jensen scowls. He has no idea where this is coming from. He doesn’t even know to whom those features belong. He only knows that the guy this morning was a total ass who didn’t even apologize for running Jensen over after blocking the entire entry to the bistro.
“Aww, come on man, you can’t still be pissed. Jensen, don’t be a douche.”
Jensen looks up, directly at Chris, and frowns. He has no idea what the guy's talking about.
“Huh?”
“You are scowling and rubbing your chest. Man, the guy didn’t even hurt you. And really, you were the one in a pissy mood, yanking the door open like that.”
“Fuck off, Chris.” Jensen doesn’t have the time or the energy to get into that again. Chris' has been nagging him about the giant freak ever since they walked back to the hotel. Not that the distance from the bistro to the Bedford was that far, but it'd been long enough for Chris to launch into some kind of ode about how cute the guy was.
Jensen had tried to block it out, concentrating on the fact that he was still pissed at the TPTBs and especially at the busboys for actually mistreating the only thing besides the cameras that Jensen keeps close and dear.
“He was cute, Jensen.”
“He was a freak, Chris.”
“Freak?” Of course Steve has to pick that statement to join the conversation. Jensen rolls his eyes and slumps back against the cushions on the couch.
“Yeah, talking to mummies apparently.”
“Kidding, right?”
“Nope.”
“God, Jensen you suck. It might have been a joke. The lady seemed to be joking.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why the Sasquatch guy practically ran out the door and never looked back. Not to mention the extensive blushing. So, definitely not a freak. Nope. Oh and the book he left behind? Mongolian Hordes. Come on, who reads stuff like that? Only bored people with no life at all. Freak, I tell you.”
“You're an asshole, Jensen Ackles.” Chris growls and if Jensen doesn’t know better, he'd think Chris is in a defensive mood. And over a guy that he doesn’t even know. But that’s Chris; impulsive and with a great sense of justice.
Jensen does know that he's being an ass right now, but he can’t help it. He has to vent and if it is about an unsuspecting and maybe even halfway good looking British geek, Jensen doesn’t feel all too guilty about it. He’ll never see the guy again anyway.
“Never said I wasn’t, Christian Kane.”
With that and Jensen’s trademark smirk, the conversation's over. At least for the moment. Jensen is pretty sure that Chris will be mooning over the geek guy for days to come. Chris can be like that when something or someone strikes his fancy.
Jensen finds himself thinking about the floppy brown hair and hazel eyes. He still doesn’t know where exactly he's seen those before and it’s kind of weird and a little alarming. He isn’t really one to obsess over things, especially not over things he's pretty sure he's never even seen.
Maybe it was dream and he's only remembering it now. Maybe ... Chris is pacing and Jensen loses the thought he was mulling over. He forgets about it when Chris sighs and continues pacing.
Jensen grimaces at Chris’ long and whiny growl, or whatever you call what Chris is doing. It’s not like there's really anything to complain or whine about in the first place. It’s just Chris being Chris and making everyone else’s life unbearable.
Jensen thinks Chris is just bored, which, yeah, he can understand because being snowed in, in London of all places, is pretty damn hard. Yeah, right.
The fourth time Chris curses through the lyrics of “Dead and Gone,” Jensen reaches out and smacks him. Hard.
“Stop it, asshat. You aren’t the only one who'd rather be on the road. But dude, this is London. Go and get some sightseeing done" He pauses, then sighs. "And, really, stop dragging everyone else down. Not necessary. And by the way, I like that song so please stop butchering it. Yeah?”
Chris just looks at him as if he just destroyed all respect he ever held in Chris’ eyes. Jensen doesn’t care. He just wants to relax and have a few minutes of quiet time before he has to go and do work.
Steve laughs outright, which of course makes Chris even grumpier. Jensen just rolls his eyes. The story of his life, always getting stuck with and between them, though not in the literal sense. He isn’t that co-dependent.
The camera is placed on the table in front of him and Jensen doesn’t even twitch when Chris grabs it and starts taking random pictures of everyone and everything that happens to be present in the suite. Jensen knows that Chris will never be careless with any of Jensen’s things. So he doesn’t say a word.
He does, however, raise his eyebrows when Chris grabs his jacket and heads for the door.
“Stop looking at me like that, Jenny. I’ll get your baby back to you safe and sound. No worries. I'm just bored out of my head and sightseeing actually sounds good. Even in the snow.”
With that, Chris slips out of the door without giving Jensen a chance to reply. Not that any kind of reply would have been useful or anything. Jensen just sighs and hopes Chris will be careful. He has to work with the camera after all. Not that he doesn’t have others with him, it’s just that the one Chris took is his favourite. He wouldn’t be a serious and well respected photographer if he only travelled with one camera anyway. He just likes that one the best.
Steve snorts at him, but smiles a reassuring smile so Jensen refrains from hitting him as well. Steve settles back with the book he's been reading for days and the other two guys in the band, who are new and not really on Jensen’s radar yet, leave the suite to do God knows what in the pool area.
Jensen has work to do anyway, and seeing as they're still stuck in London, Jensen might as well try and contact some people. Photographing Kane on tour isn’t the only project he has lined up this year and he loves the fact that his calendar is full. So full that sometimes he doesn’t see his home for months at a time. His mother is, of course, complaining. But Jensen's basically stopped listening to her lately.
Too many reminders of being alone and not looking for, or finding, a significant other. Jensen’s mother is irritatingly good with those guilt-trip conversations. Which means he never really bothers telling her when he might be home again, especially since he knows it'll be weeks or even months before he actually thinks about taking time off.
He likes it this way.
Not matter how often Chris and Steve tell him that he needs to cut back, needs to relax and actually live a little, Jensen can’t. He doesn’t know how to and he doesn’t know another life expect the one he's currently leading. And, really, he'd have thought his friends, of all people, would understand what this life means to him, how much he's had to work to get it. He's known Chris and Steve for close to 13 years now, but sometimes he thinks they don’t know him at all.
But then he thinks, neither does he.
***
Chris has to admit that Jensen’s idea is a good one. He's actually getting out and seeing things. For the first time in ages, he finally has time to enjoy being in one place for more than just the show and the promotion.
London turns out to be the perfect place to be stuck in. Even if chaos reigns and snow has taken over sanity, at least for the time being. The snow has finally let up a little and people are less scowly and more cheerful. At least the ones Chris passes on the street outside the hotel.
He doesn’t really know where he wants to go. No real urge to see anything that desperately and no real intention to actually get on the tube and go anywhere. So he just sets off, down the street, towards the bistro they were at a few hours earlier.
Chris has to smile when he thinks back to this morning. He hadn’t lied to Jensen, the tall guy had been cute and might actually be Chris’ type. And seeing as he caught Chris' attention, he's pretty sure that he's in a guy phase again.
He can live with that. Maybe this time it'll actually work out, the guy phase that is. He's been feeling a little lonely lately. Groupies can only do so much and Chris wants more. After all, he isn’t getting any younger.
Passing the bistro, he looks inside and when he doesn’t see tall guy, whom he decided was a regular, he walks on. An entrance way catches his eye and he gets Jensen’s camera ready. He knows he isn’t anywhere near as talented as Jensen, but he can take decent pictures that even Jensen's occasionally admits to liking.
He's about to be done when the plate next to the door catches his eye. It says “Central Saint
Martin's College of Art and Design”. He blinks, gets the camera ready again and takes another picture.
Jensen never told him that he went to school in London. Chris only ever saw the name on the top of Jensen certificates and portfolio, but never did he look close enough to realise which school it really was.
Sometimes Chris doesn’t know how to take Jensen or what to think of him. He's known the man since they were teenagers and he still has no idea what might make Jensen truly happy or what he does half of the time.
Occasionally he thinks that Jensen doesn’t even know that.
Snowflakes settle softly on his face, making him realise that the snow is getting heavier again. He looks around and catches a sign that makes him smile. He's always wanted to see the British Museum.
He takes off, crosses the street and heads down the direction indicated on the sign.
***
Chris wanders the halls, marvels at the artefacts on display and wonders how they managed to maintain all of this without charging any kind of entrance fee. He sure as hell will leave a donation when he's ready to go.
Chris isn’t the type to appreciate the wonders of history or humankind all that much. Jensen is much more predestined for that, considering his hobbies and profession. But being in here and seeing it up close is all pretty impressive.
He takes pictures as well and can’t believe it's allowed. But then he thinks everyone who cares already knows what’s on display. The Greek and Egyptian rooms are interesting, but Chris has seen those things on TV and he wants to see something more, wants to see something different.
He wanders on, passes European and Mesopotamian history to reach the Asian rooms. Suddenly the atmosphere changes. He doesn’t know what it is, maybe the lightning is different or it's the displays themselves, but he does know that he likes it. He likes it so much that he loses himself a little bit in the displays and stories that accompany them.
Chris is so lost in exploring everything that he doesn’t see the figure sitting on the floor of one of the rooms. He doesn’t see it until it’s almost too late and he can’t stop his foot from connecting with a muscled thigh.
“Dude!”
Chris almost jumps back, but instead manages to just take a step back. Then he looks down at the guy sitting Indian style in front of a huge glass box with a sketch book on his knees. Chris immediately thinks the guy would get a long with Jensen, just from the sketch book alone. He doesn’t know why he keeps on thinking of Jensen when he sees good looking men these days.
“Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn’t see you.”
And then he looks again and blinks. Blinking and discovering interesting things seems to be the theme of the day.
“Hey, wait … You're the guy from the bistro.”
The guy actually blushes and Chris is again reminded of how cute he is.
“Uh … I guess.”
“Sorry about that by the way. Jensen was in a bad mood this morning. He usually isn’t this bitchy.”
“But he is bitchy?”
Chris laughs at that, just has to, can’t hold it back. Because yeah, Jensen actually is bitchy most of the time.
“You could say that.”
The smile he gets is breathtaking. Really stunning. Chris actually thinks he might be gone. Gone for this guy he doesn’t even know. A guy who obviously is as geeky as Jensen proclaimed him to be. Chris doesn’t mind it in the least.
On the contrary, or he wouldn't have been able to put up with Jensen in the first place. Because one of these days Jensen has to face the fact that he's a geek as well. It's actually a little adorable.
Chris decides he wants to get to know this guy better. The boy who is still sitting on the floor, sketch pad clutched in his hands. He's stuck in London anyway and he's never been one to pass the opportunity to spend time with someone interesting. And the man on the floor seems not only interesting, but downright cute. And seriously hot.
Hot being the operating directive here, because Chris’d be stupid to pass up such a chance. Jensen would mock him for the rest of his life. Which he's doing anyway, but Chris can usually live with the taunts when he knows he didn’t do anything wrong.
"So, uh..." Chris tilts his head and gives the guy a mischievous smile. Again, he gets smile back and fights the urge to get Jensen’s camera up to capture the dimples. Chris momentarily struggles for the next thing to say when he catches the name tag dangling in front of the guy’s polo shirt. And he suddenly remembers the scene in the bistro this morning.
"You work here or something?"
The guy smiles again, looks at his sketch pad and then around the room. He finally nods and Chris kind of sags in relief for not having made a complete idiot out of himself.
“Yeah, I do. Ancient European and Asian History Department. Research and Acquisitions. That’s me.”
Chris can’t help it, he has to blink again. This guy barely seems old enough to have scored an internship here, not to mention a full time paid job. But then Chris has always been bad at judging people and their ages. Got him into some trouble more than just a few times.
“Wow. I would have thought you’d work in the Egyptian department or something.”
The guy just stares at him blankly and Chris suddenly wants to ask him for his name, wants to blurt it out like they are in the hallway of a high school and are attempting to ask each other out to Prom or Spring Ball. Chris doesn’t even know why his brain comes up with metaphors like this, but he thinks they fit. Also, Chris is pretty sure he heard the guy’s name this morning but can’t remember it for the life of him.
He feels like a teenager again. And he knows that Jensen will be merciless once he finds out. Chris just hopes that Jensen will have overcome his bad mood by the time he gets the guy to the hotel suite. Chris doesn’t even think about why he wants to get the guy there. He just wants it.
“Why’d you think that?”
The slow drawled question brings Chris out of his musings and he will be damned if he blinked again. The drawl is oddly interesting. So, he thinks, not a British über-geek then.
“Well, the lady in the bistro? She said something about mummies.”
The guy laughs, deep and kind of barking. It’s a sound Chris wants to hear again.
“Mummies exist in a lot of cultures. The Egyptians weren’t even the first to use this burial technique. Nor the last.”
Chris looks around and finally decides to just take the risk and plops down next to hot geek-guy, who doesn’t seem to be that geeky after all.
“Ah.. So tell me about them?”
“Mummies?”
“Yep.”
“Uh.. really? You wanna hear about mummies?”
“Sure. I'm interested in those things. I've been wandering the halls here for a while and hey, I can’t let the opportunity pass to actually have somebody who knows this stuff tell me more, can I? Oh and by the way, I'm Chris.”
The guy looks flustered. A tiny red stain has appeared on his cheeks and Chris finds that even more adorable than the gaping thing hot geek is doing. It’s really adorable.
“Uh ... okay. Which kind of mummies?”
“The ones you know most about?”
“Sure.” The guy closes the sketch pad, stows it away into a messenger bag Chris hasn’t even noticed next to the guy. After a pause, he clears his throat. “Hi. I'm Jared. I work here and I’ll be your guide for the evening.”
Chris can’t help but laugh and take the offered hand.
It’s looking to be a really good evening now. Chris is glad he actually listened to Jensen. Just this once it turned out to be a good decision.
***
Jensen's sprawled out on the leather sofa; his various cameras spread around him and his most precious one placed in his lap. It’s not his favourite, but it's the one he's had the longest. It's also the one he'd gotten before he knew anything about photography. He's clicking through the memory chip of his newest camera, trying to get back into the mood for work, but it isn’t really working.
He's still sour over being told that he has to try harder at capturing the ‘real’ essence of Kane. Because really, he's known those guys for years and if anyone knows what the real essence of the band is, it’s him. And he has no qualms flaunting it in front of everyone.
No yuppie-wannabe label manager tells him what the fucking essence is of the band he helped found and establish. Especially not when said yuppie has no fucking clue about photography, and that's not even including his ideas about action and motion shots.
Jensen growls. Just thinking about it is pissing him off. Steve snorts and goes back to his book. A new book. They haven’t really moved since he came back into the room after the meeting with yuppie-guy and Jensen feels mellow enough that his own restlessness won't get to him. Though that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still a little moody.
“Did you just mock me or was it the book?”
Jensen knows he sounds prissy, even feels a little sorry when Steve frowns at him.
It’s really not his day. His chest still aches a little. He has to admit that for a geek, the guy who almost bowled him over this morning had been pretty packed with muscles. Still a geek, though, and Jensen feels embarrassed that the guy managed to almost knock him flat on his ass.
“God, Jensen. You need to get laid. If you go on like this, no one will want to deal with you anymore. I get that you are pissed at the guy, but dude, tone it down.”
“Sorry. And I don’t need to get laid. I'm doing just fine, thank you very much.”
Not that he is opposed to one night stands. No, he actually likes things to be casual. No attachment, no obligations, just some fun. But lately even that isn’t doing it for him anymore. And everyone close to him knows it. They are not talking about it though.
“Right.” Steve snorts again and Jensen doesn’t even suppress the urge to roll his eyes. It’s sort of pathetic how well Steve is able to pick up on Jensen’s moods.
Jensen sinks lower into the cushions and feels a little ashamed of himself. He's actually managed to piss Steve off and that happens rarely enough that Jensen knows he's been getting on Steve’s nerves for way too long.
He starts to play with the bracelet on his wrist and doesn’t care when Steve scowls. It’s his mechanism to cope with stress. Either the bracelet, the ring or scratching at his neck.
When the door flies open, Jensen's actually relieved for the chance to stop thinking about himself and his mood. Steve looks up, grins and then frowns deeply. And again, Jensen's reminded that unrequited love sucks. Sucks a lot, actually.
He turns and feels himself starting to frown as well. There's a tall guy standing behind Chris. A tall and gorgeous guy with hazel eyes, Jensen thinks. And that's just a second before Chris steps aside and Jensen gets a really good look at the man.
The guy tries to sink back into himself and Jensen swears there's even a little flush visible. He's clearly uncomfortable, clutching the bag in his hands as if it's a shield. It looks heavy, full of books and if Jensen wasn’t be so occupied with almost gawking at him and Chris, he might have realised he felt some kind of pity for the guy, even then.
What the hell is Chris doing with the geek? And what the hell is Chris doing, bringing the geek here? Jensen doesn’t know which question to ask first. Then all of a sudden, Jensen hates thinking these thoughts, hates that the guy makes him behave like a stupid high school bully even though they never really said anything to each other, besides the few words this morning.
This is not cool. Not at all.
“Hi Chris. How'd the sightseeing go?” Steve actually manages to sound cheerful, but Jensen knows it must hurt to keep the façade up. Chris doesn’t even know and it wouldn’t work if he knew, definitely not if he knew.
Chris grins at that and drags the tall guy fully into the room. It's clear he doesn’t even seem to realize that he's the only one in high spirits about the situation. The geek stumbles across the carpet, tries not to fall flat on his face and Jensen surprises himself with scowling at Chris for dragging the poor guy like that instead of feeling put upon by the fact that Chris actually brought the guy to their suite.
Jensen isn't even sure what’s ticking him off so much. Maybe it’s the whole thing with Steve and Chris, and the fact that Chris is completely oblivious. Or the fact that Jensen can’t seem to stop thinking about the floppy hair and hazel eyes that belong to the man he's looking at right now.
Jensen has no idea what it is, but it’s annoying and doesn’t really improve his mood. He has the feeling that some people in the room will soon be on the receiving end of his sour mood and he already feels sorry for them. He also feels like an ass because he knows what’s likely going to happen and he doesn't have any intention of stopping it.
He's bored to death and annoyed as hell after all; and blowing up at someone for no reason suddenly seems like a very good way to vent and lose some tension.
No one ever said he was a nice guy. Well, okay his momma does but she is biased anyway.
“Guys, this is Jared, my tour guide. Jared, that’s Steve and Jensen.” Chris is practically bouncing. Jensen really doesn't have a good feeling about this.
There's not a doubt in Jensen’s mind that Chris is pretty interested in this guy. In Jared. And it seems like, somehow, it's actually mutual. Jared smiles a little, but it drops of his face when he looks at Jensen. It’s all rather awkward and Jensen suddenly has to look away.
It’s been years since Chris has managed to surprise Jensen.
Jensen hasn’t been surprised by anything Chris does since the regrettable weekend during senior year where Chris tried to make Jensen go on as many blind dates as possible. Only he'd forgotten to inform Jensen about it and he'd also forgotten to mention that he already knew Jensen’s preference toward men. Jensen tries to not think about that weekend at all. It had been enlightening, but at the same time, they were also the most embarrassing and weirdest two days of his life. They still hold that title, even after all the things Jensen's seen and done in his life so far.
“Hi Jared. Nice to meet you.”
Of course Steve is polite and totally accepting. It amazes Jensen every time. Steve has so much self control that he can actually live with the situation without losing his mind. Jensen knows he couldn't do that. When he's in love, he wants it all or nothing. None of this half-way shit and certainly no compromises. All or nothing. He’s learned often enough how bad that actually is.
Chris is suddenly in front of Jensen, deep frown etched onto his face and Jensen figures he probably he zoned out again. He smiles at Chris, just a little smile and not the smug one that would send Chris into a fit. To his mild surprise it works, because Chris just shakes his head and drags Jared to the other leather couch in the room.
Jensen thinks the guy looks like a lost and scared little puppy. He usually doesn’t find it attractive or cute. Usually. Jensen doesn’t think it's jealousy creeping up on him, but there's something that makes him even more moody. And he really doesn’t like it.
“So … what did you manage to see despite snow and trafficy chaos?”
“Trafficy? Jensen, did you read these stupid comics again?”
“Oh fuck off, Chris. They're your books anyway. And could you maybe answer the question? I'm pretty sure Steve asked it already.” Jensen's aware that everyone is looking at him. It’s just that there's something about this situation that's riling him up and has him on the edge. Which, of course, means he's simultaneously feeling ashamed of it.
He looks up to see Jared looking around the room, taking things in and checking out the instruments strewn over every available surface. There's some kind of recognition present when he looks at the guitar cases. Jared’s eyes are full of wonder, wide and exploring and Jensen wonders what that’s all about. The innocent display tugs at Jensen’s heart for some reason he can't quite identify. He hasn’t felt it in a long time.
It'd been one of Jensen’s first thoughts when Chris arrived with Jared in tow. Jared could easily have been one of those crazy stalker fans and the incident this morning could have been staged. Jensen's suddenly aware of how stupid that sounds, even in his own head.
There might actually be a small possibility that Jared isn’t as geeky and spastic as he came across this morning, but Jensen just isn’t ready to face that yet. He isn’t in the mood to change his opinion or to actually acknowledge that he is just being unreasonable.
Jensen basically isn’t in the mood to be nice.
“… and then I kind of knocked into Jared here. He was sitting in the way and doing things.”
Jensen sighs, having apparently zoned out again. Steve, who is now sitting next to him, elbows him. Just a little so that only Jensen and Steve actually know what’s going on. Yeah, Jensen really does have good friends, all things considered.
“I wasn’t in the way. I was doing my job. And people usually watch where they're going.”
“I do look where I go. You were just down there and I usually don’t watch my shoes.”
“Right. So you usually smack into everything that's below your eye line?”
The banter starting between Chris and this Jared guy is something Jensen's watched happen occasionally. Usually between Chris and the various numbers of groupies of the female kind. Fewer times between Chris and men. It’s flirting. Pure and simple.
And it really makes Jensen want to scream. He wants to yell at Chris for doing that to Steve, at Jared for being oblivious and so naïve that he can't see what Steve is going through. In reality, he knows Jared's innocent in all of it, but still can’t help but feel some sort of resentment towards him.
“Hey Chris? Where's my camera?”
There's a second of total silence in which no one even blinks. Jensen has managed to stun them all into it and he feels smug about it.
“Uh … here.” Jared drags the camera out from inside his bag, which has been lying next to him until this very moment. Books tumble out of it as well and Jensen is momentarily stunned by the large number of them. Who carries so many books around? Especially books about history. But Jensen's been in a mood all day and doesn’t take well to being talked down. And he's just been waiting for another reason to blow up.
“You gave him my camera? Chris! That thing is worth two thousand bucks, man. I can’t believe you.”
“Oh calm down, Jensen. I gave it to him because it was snowing hard and he could keep it inside his bag without harming it.”
“I just… God, why do I always let you take my things when you so obviously don’t care about them. Those cameras are my job, Chris.”
Jensen knows he's being unreasonable, but he just doesn’t care. Doesn’t want to care. So instead of just letting it drop and letting Chris get away with his explanation, he prepares to give Jared a piece of his mind as well.
Unfortunately, Steve's right in his personal space when he turns to let Jared know exactly what he thinks of him and how he should just fuck the hell off. Jensen can see Jared’s face over Steve’s shoulder. A tiny spike of regret pierces Jensen’s heart again, it's just a tiny one, but still it's there.
Jared looks a bit shell shocked, eyes wide, mouth open, body tense and ready to flee. He looks gorgeous, wild even. And, to Jensen's astonishment, Jared looks scared and really sorry. So much so that Jensen actually feels himself blush and take a step back. But his hackles are still raised and he can’t seem to stop himself.
Jensen feels dizzy, like something's hit him hard and repeatedly. He can’t even comprehend what’s going on inside his head and he still can’t stop feeling like he needs to lash out. Like it's been building up since this morning. But most of all, he feels a lot like he has just kicked a puppy and he doesn’t like that feeling.
He doesn’t like seeing Jared looking so sad. Which means Jensen feels like an ass and hates Jared even more for it. Irritatingly, he doesn’t really know what Jared actually did to him to deserve being treated like that.
Yeah, Jensen is a class A asshole, no way around it.
“Uh, Jensen and me will go get things to drink. The room service will take too long anyway. Excuse us for a while.”
Steve grabs Jensen by his arm and almost forcefully drags him out of the suite. Jensen doesn’t even think of protesting. There's no use and he'd seem even more like a douche if he did it anyway.
They walk down the hallway toward the lift. The yellow light of the night time lamps calm Jensen down somewhat. The light is soothing, a balm on his frayed nerves. They don’t talk and Jensen feels grateful for the silence. He knows Steve will say something eventually, but not so close to the room. Not when Chris could walk out and overhear it.
The second the lift doors close, Steve turns and looks at Jensen. Just looks at him, watching without saying anything for at least two floors.
“What was that, Jensen?”
“I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Jensen thinks Steve is going to hit him when the words leave his mouth. He carefully rearranges his position and backs away, leaning awkwardly against one of the walls. This is not how he'd imagined his evening to pan out. There were plans for beer, pizza and maybe a jam session or something, but definitely not plans for being in an elevator with Steve, who is about to rip him a new one.
“Jensen.”
“I know ... I ... no, actually, I don’t know. I have no idea. This day ... it was just shitty and. ... It’s no excuse, I know.”
“Man, you've been a bitch all day and that poor guy up there is really fucking scared of you now. So what is it? Is it Chris? Are you jealous?”
Jensen snorts. Not because of the jealousy thing, but because the image he has in his head now. Jared is taller than him, probably around 6’4 or 6’5 even, and Jensen just can’t imagine Jared being scared of him. It doesn’t really work, even though it's probably true.
Jensen smiles which makes Steve frown and Jensen smile even more.
“Jealous? Of Jared? Oh, come on. You know that I don’t … not Chris. Never. God, Steve.”
The doors open just in time for Steve to let out a bark of laughter, pat Jensen on the back as they exit the elevator. But the look he gives Jensen says he thinks that Jensen's an idiot.
“What?”
Steve just lets him stand there and doesn’t say anything.
“Steve? What? Answer me, man. You can’t just leave me hanging here.”
“Not jealous of Jared, Jen. Not at all. I saw the way you look at him. I’d say you’d rather want Chris and me gone from the room than Jared.”
“What? No … nah. Steve.”
Steve just grins.
Grins and enters the bar without answering Jensen at all.
“Oh fuck you, Carlson.”
Jensen hates when Steve does that and hates it even more that he can pull it off, the being all mysterious and still awesome bullshit. He grumps, sighs and follows. Like the good puppy he is.
Yeah, he thinks, he and Jared would actually make a good pair. If it wasn’t for Jared’s totally geekiness and Jensen’s unwillingness to fall for that again. Been there done that echoes around in his head and Jensen actually flinches.
This will be a very long night.
Jensen doesn’t plan on holding back on the alcohol. Not when he'll be stuck in a hotel room with Chris crushing on a geek that won’t stay out of Jensen’s thoughts, said geek and Steve trying to deal with everything.
Sometimes Jensen wonders why he's friends with people like this. They just complicate his life.
***
Greece, some months later
The picture makes him stop. Literally, in a middle of a busy street. One of his colleagues actually runs into him and Jared doesn’t even fell all that sorry about it. He isn’t stunned or anything. It’s just that the picture steers something in him.
Like a memory. Like he had seen it before. It’s not the motif because he isn’t even really looking at what the pictures shows, it’s the style, the way it was shot that makes him pause and try to remember.
He can’t come up with anything though. It’s probably really just him remembering the style from somewhere. It’s not like National Geographic doesn’t use the best photographers over and over again.
“Oi Padalecki! Stop reading while walking. One day you’ll smack into the pillars and knock them all down.”
“Very funny Martin.”
Jared knows Martin is right, so he tugs the magazine back between the books his is carrying and concentrates on where he is going. It’s when the reach the institutes entrance that it comes back to him. He has seen photos like that before. In another photo spread in London.
Jared scrambles to get the magazine out again, dumps his books and bag on the table in the office he just entered and thumbs through the pages. He ignores Martin’s comment about being obsesses and just goes on looking for the article about Sri Lanka.
When he sees the name, the J. Ackles in the credits Jared can’t help but grin. He feels smug, feels good being able to actually recognize those photos without having to see the name attached to it. The thing is Jared doesn’t really know why it makes him happy.
The things he actually remembers about Jensen aren’t all that good. Not to mention that he can’t really come up with anything that might have happened during this one night in London.
He does remember Chris showing him some of Jensen’s photos when the walked through the museum, remembers asking Chris for whom Jensen had worked and Chris just rattling off lists of names and magazines. Yes, Jared had been impressed but that had been it.
Until he was sitting in Heathrow waiting for his flight to Greece and actually buying magazines over magazines to keep occupied.
The photos he discovered did something to him. They were powerful, not artsy or fake. Just real. A talent present that Jared had seen in the pictures on the camera chip, just clearer. The pictures fit the man, and even if Jared doesn’t know him beyond one night spent drinking and glaring he still knows that those photos are Jensen.
Jensen’s name had been haunting him since then.
Martin has to grab the magazine out of his hand and drag him into the conference room for which Jared is a little grateful.
***
Jensen curses his hangover. It might not have been such a brilliant idea to let the hotel barkeeper talk him into several rounds of Ouzo. He usually hates the stuff and he knows it’s really, really clichéd to get drunk on it. But it'd been a rough couple of weeks.
Jensen is still trying to figure out where he left the jet lag behind and went ahead. His internal clock is really fucked up, has been ever since they got stuck in London weeks ago. He feels like he hasn’t had time to process everything going on and it's finally starting to take a toll on him.
He left Kane in Germany two days ago, and right now Jensen wishes he was still there. Berlin is one of the few cities he doesn’t mind spending too much time in, same goes for Hamburg, where Kane should be right now.
But he had to leave for a shoot on a yacht somewhere close to the coast, a bit south of Athens. Jensen never actually thought it'd be so complicated to leave Athens after a night spent drunk and whining to a barkeeper who barely understood what he was talking about. But, of course, it was.
The bus is crowded and Jensen wonders why he didn’t take the train and then remembers that there was some kind of accident or strike or something. It’s sticky in the bus, even though it’s quite cold outside. He keeps his camera bag close, just to make sure no one can step on or crash against it during the turns the driver takes with a little more speed than necessary.
He's glad that he had decided to leave everything else in his hotel room, paid for by the agency, and only took the things he needed for the underwater shoot. Jensen is deep in thoughts, absently watching the landscape and coastline through the rather dirty window. So when the bus stops at one of the pick up points along the way, it jars him back to reality.
Several people leave the bus in the suburban area and Jensen can see some of the old temple structures on the horizon. He doesn’t really have an idea where he is, but one of the signs says something in Latin letters and it looks suspiciously like a university symbol or at least something official.
Jensen looks up curiously when one of the passengers stumbles through the passage between the seats. He watches as the person almost face plants as a huge bag slides close to the edge of the baggage holder over the seats when the bus lurches forward.
Jensen doesn’t even have time to think about it, he just reacts. The seat next to him is empty and the guy seems to look rather helpless as to what to do next, so he just grabs the arm closest to him and drags the guy into the seat before he can actually fall.
Just after the guy is safely seated, the bus takes a rather sharp corner and the huge bag finally slides out of the holder, crashing down exactly where the guy had been standing just a second before. He turns, feeling a bit light headed and he's met by surprised hazel eyes. Jensen has to hold back a gasp, then a groan when he sees the all-too familiar face. The same emotions that must be visible on his face flicker over Jared’s and it takes them both a moment to react.
“Uh.. Thanks.”
“You're welcome.”
It's the only conversation they have and it’s really, really awkward, but Jensen can’t think of anything else to say. He decides, in the end, that it’s better not to say anything at all. He still doesn’t really like Jared and it might have something to do with the fact that he can’t really remember that evening or the night all that well. And, if he's honest, the next morning is rather fuzzy as well.
There are flashes of memories, but they aren’t clear and Jensen doesn’t really want to dig deeper. He trusts Chris’ and Steve’s recounts, even if he thinks Chris looked rather sad and a little angry when Jensen had asked what had happened. Chris had actually been withdrawing a little during the days afterward. Only a drunken night in Frankfurt had kind of resolved things, as they had both decided not to talk about London anymore.
Jensen had made that deal with himself as well, not thinking about London had worked. At least it had until now. He knows Chris kept in contact with Jared, knows that Chris really is interested in the guy, even now. He just doesn’t know what Jared thinks about it. Jensen doesn’t really know where the little sting in his heart comes from every time he thinks about Chris and Jared together, so he doesn’t think about that at all.
Jared shuffles next to him, obviously tries to get something out of his ever-present messenger bag and nearly drops the whole thing. Jensen doesn’t think, just grabs the bag before it slides to the floor between their legs. When he looks up, Jared's watching him, observing him really and he has to smile.
The surprising thing is that Jared smiles back, still a little unsure and the insecurity shows on his face. Jensen wonders how someone so expressive can be so awkward and shy. But then, he remembers, he used to be like that as well, but that was ages ago in high school.
“Thank you. Again.”
“And again, you're welcome.”
Jared snorts, it’s not mocking or derisive, but rather amused and cute. Jensen looks away from the hazel eyes and down to Jared’s hands. The other has managed to get a sketch book from the bag and is now searching for the page he was apparently working on.
“You have a good eye.” Jensen surprises himself when he says that. He hadn’t planned on saying anything further. Jared isn’t his concern and he doesn’t wonder what the other man is doing here in Greece.
He doesn’t, except for how he actually does.
“Uh ... yeah. Thanks. Comes in handy with the job.” The red stain on Jared’s cheeks was adorable in London and Jensen thinks it still is now. Not that he’d ever mention it, because it’s not his to say, not when Chris is the one pinning over Jared.
“So … you never told me what it is you do.”
Jared actually laughs and it's loud, a kind of barking sound. Jensen has to bite back a groan, because this laugh is doing something to him. Something he doesn't want to go into further.
“I guess we were preoccupied the last time we met.”
“You mean with me being all bitchy, grumpy and drunk? Yeah, you could say that.”
Jensen smiles, can’t help it. The bad mood he's been in since he got up this morning is slowly, but surely, withdrawing and Jensen can’t help but think it has something to do with Jared being there and smiling at him. Those dimples could prevent wars. Even as he thinks it, Jensen knows how stupid that sounds.
“Yeah, well, it was an interesting night.”
Jared blushes even more and Jensen has the feeling that Jared knows as much about that night as Jensen himself does.
“I'm a historian. Ancient European and Asian history. I lived in London for the last three years and was about to go home when a friend asked for help here in Athens. It’s kinda like a vacation, though.”
Jensen nods. He doesn’t really know what to say. He knows history, it's something that's always interested him a little, but he's never had the chance to really talk about it.
And now that he actually has a chance of discussing it with an honest to God history geek suddenly makes him feel self-conscious. He doesn’t want to come across as a dilettante in front of Jared and he curses himself for even thinking that.
“I have a shoot down by the coast. I never thought I’d see you so soon again, though … You know, Chris talks about you a lot.”
As if it was humanly possible, Jared manages to blush even more. If Jensen needed a proof that things are mutual, here it is. He sighs and tries not to stare too much. He doesn’t even know why he's so disappointed, he doesn’t like Jared. He doesn’t like the geek at all.
“Uh … yeah ... Well, we talk.”
Jensen nods and with that the conversation is over. Seems like the topic of Chris is a real killer between them. Jensen goes back to watching the landscape go by and only occasionally glances at Jared.
Jared, on the other hand, is completely occupied with his sketch pad and the book he's balancing on his knees. Jensen is amazed by the things Jared's drawing and sketching, recognizes the talent and wonders if Jared would be good at taking photos as well. His gaze drifts down to the long legs jammed into the small space between the seats and he has to look away again. It’s not right and he doesn’t want to even think about it.
When the bus stops next, Jensen's surprised when Jared gets up and gets his things. Jared smiles down at him and if he didn’t know better, Jensen would say there's a hint of regret in those expressive eyes.
“This is me. It was … It was nice to see you again, Jensen.”
“Yeah. It was nice to see you, too. At least I wasn’t a bitch this time around. Must count for something, huh?”
Jared laughs out loud again and Jensen takes a deep breath, then the hand that is offered. Jared’s grip is strong and sure, Jensen feels himself hold on for a little longer. But not too long.
And just like that, Jared's gone. The bus takes off and Jensen catches a glimpse of floppy brown hair through the window, then sternly tells himself not to dwell on it.
He doesn’t believe in fate, and meeting Jared in one of the most unlikely places doesn’t mean anything anyway. So he pops his ear buds into his ears, turns his iPod up loud and tries to forget about everything, if only for a while.
PART ONE: B (next)