In our lifetime 2/3
***
The ride to Jeffrey’s house silent. Neither Jensen nor Jared knew how to start the conversation that was hanging between them. The tension that was there before, still existed, only now it was amplified by new knowledge as well as Jeff leaving them both hanging and guessing.
Both men were caught up in their own thoughts, their own grief and their own ideas about what might have happened at Jeff’s lab and why things didn’t seem to add up. Save for Jared’s comment about the lack of comfort and space within a police force vehicle, neither had said a word since they left the LifeTech tower.
On the drive, Jensen couldn’t help but glance at Jared from time to time. The other man seemed changed; he wasn’t the kid Jensen knew from their breakfast meetings. No, this was a grown man, determined and with a goal. Jensen had to admit that the appeal Jared held was even stronger now. Strong Jared was definitely hot. Again, this was really not the time nor the place to even think about it.
Jensen tried to concentrate in the case -- and he was sure it was a case now -- tried to concentrate on driving instead of on Jared. He failed occasionally and only hoped that he wasn’t being too obvious. He knew he was working, thinking his way into a freak out.
When they reached the house, Jared just went ahead and typed in the security code at the door, leaving Jensen wondering again how close Jared and Jeff were. He completely missed the slight smile Jared sent him when the younger man caught him frowning deeply.
Jensen almost shoved his way into the house, not knowing where the sudden surge of anger came from. There was no reason to be angry. What Jared and Jeff had been wasn’t any of his business. It didn’t matter anyway, it wasn’t as if he and Jared were anything more than acquaintances.
Jensen let his eyes roam over the wide expense of the entrance hall, looking for any threats, maybe even for any signs of Jeffrey. There were two doors, one at either side of the huge room, both closed and hiding potential threats. In the middle was the wide staircase that let to the upper floors. It all looked rich and imposing, but not overly so.
The foyer looked a little like Mike’s office, all dark paneled walls, carpets in Bordeaux and dark browns, making the room seem less imposing and more comfortable. It emitted an aura of warmth and was welcoming. Jensen liked it, liked it a lot.
He was about to start crossing the marble floor, either to check out the doors or the stairs, when Jared called out to him.
“Hey, slow down, Jen. There are more security protocols that I need to disable first. Don’t want to set off a major alarm, do you?”
Jensen stopped, slightly embarrassed at his behaviour and at the fact that Jared had called him on it. This was so far from acting professional that it wasn’t even funny anymore. Jensen silently cursed his jumbled nerves. The thing with Jeff, plus Jared being there, did things to his composure, to his nerves and he didn’t know how regain it.
“Jeff once gave me all the codes when I was house sitting during one of his travels. No idea why he never changed the codes, would have been safer if he had.”
Jared slowly walked to the panel embedded in the wall next to the door and began reconfiguring the alarm system. He'd unconsciously calmed Jensen’s nerves with his explanation for the having the codes.
“Okay. All set now.”
“All right. So uhm.. where to first?”
“I ... well, maybe his office? If there is anything, he might have it there. I mean we don’t even know if something was going on but… uhm …okay, it’s upstairs.”
So, Jensen thought, he wasn’t the only one who had problems dealing with everything. It made him feel better, not much, but at least a little. He was not alone in this, and even though he always worked alone, he was glad to not have to in this case. Jensen didn’t know if he could have dealt with Jeff's death if it had just been him. Jared working for LifeTech had other advantages than just getting access to restricted information, which they hadn’t even needed yet.
He followed Jared up the stairs, studiously not looking at the tight jeans in front of him.
“So, you think we could maybe call it a disappearance instead of a suicide?”
Jared’s voice was low, almost unsure if he could even ask the question. It made Jensen’s chest ache for a second. He tended to forget that he wasn’t the only one personally affected. And he still didn’t know how close Jared and Jeff had been.
“Yeah, I guess we can do that.”
Jared’s sigh was almost inaudible, but Jensen heard it nonetheless.
“Can I ask you something, Jared?”
Jared turned slightly as he was walking up the stairs, which were winding to the left and were longer and broader than Jensen had originally though.
“Uhm, sure. Go ahead.”
“What exactly did you have to do with Jeff? I know Murray said something about you being Jeff’s protégé and all but I can’t figure out what that means. Okay, I can, but I’d like to know how you ended up in that position. You ... uhm…”
“I?”
“You look so young. I never asked how old you were.”
“You didn’t ask a lot of questions, Jensen. But that’s okay, I didn’t either." He paused, then went on. "Let’s get to the office and I’ll tell you there. Because that way, I can show you what you want to know.”
Jensen followed Jared without saying another word. It was necessary. He looked around when they reached the second floor, looked into open doors to check that there were no surprises waiting for them.
Jeff’s office was spacious, huge even and as cluttered as the office lab, even though Jensen didn’t know if it was because explosion or just how Jeff was. There were papers, folders and tablet computers strewn all over the place. That alone didn’t look suspicious, but just like maybe other offices Jensen had seen in his life. What did look suspicious were the open drawers and upturned boxes emptied onto the floor.
It looked like someone had searched the whole place already, maybe finding what they were looking for, or someone had gathered things, in a hurry to leave. Or maybe even both.
It was chaos and Jensen had no idea how they were supposed to find any clues or if the chaos itself was the clue. As if he was reading Jensen’s mind again, Jared almost spun around inside the door frame. His eyes were wide and his face a little paler than Jensen expected it to be. Jared was naturally tanned and Jensen hadn’t seen him looking anything but healthy. So this was definitely alarming, and it made Jensen step closer and place a hand on Jared’s shoulder. He ignored the jolt that went up his own arm.
“What’s wrong?”
“Someone was here. Jeff ... he wouldn’t have left the place like this. Wouldn’t because even in a hurry, he always tried to not mess things up, in case he had to find stuff again.”
“Okay. Someone was here looking for something. I hate to tell you, that but that doesn’t mean Jeffrey is alive, it just means that ... I don’t know, maybe someone was greedy enough to search the place for valuables barely hours after Jeff’s death.”
The muscles under his hand jumped a little when Jared’s shoulders dropped. Jensen hated to see Jared that defeated and wondered when making Jared not worry had become one of his priorities.
“Come on, let’s go and look if we can find anything in here.”
“Look at the photos.”
“Huh?”
“The photos, Jensen. They are the answer to your question about how I came to be Jeff’s assistant.”
Jensen went and looked at the photos lined up on the mantle of the fireplace. It was almost centered in one of the office walls. The pictures showed a variety of people, most of them during academic events or one of LifeTech’s big premiers. But some of them were private in nature and those showed a younger version of Jeff and a very much younger version of Jared.
Jensen couldn’t remember having seen Jeff that young. He'd known the doctor for more than 10 years and he never had once noticed an innocent and happy aura coming from him.
“Your father?”
“Uncle, actually. He took me in when my parents couldn’t cope with an overly intelligent 8 year old. They aren’t bad parents, they love me and everything, but Jeff always knew how to talk to me, knew what I wanted. He showed me how to achieve things, how to get where I wanted. Call it favouritism but I was good and Jeff knew it.
“So he got me the assistant position and once here, I worked my ass off and LifeTech’s bosses were okay with it. I’d even go as far as to say they were impressed. I have known Jeff all my life. That’s why I just can’t believe he would do something like that. Call my crazy, grief stricken or what not but I don’t think he killed himself. Murdered maybe but… ”
All of that was said while Jared slowly walked toward Jensen as he looked at the pictures. Voice getting more tentative, more hesitating, sadder somehow.
“One of them it is missing. Why would someone take a picture of me and Jeff? Doesn’t make much sense.”
“Well, maybe it does if it was Jeff.”
“Yeah.”
Jared turned around again to scan the room, he was on the way to one of the open drawers when something caught his attention. Something else was missing.
“Hey, Sadie isn’t here. I should have realised it earlier. She always greets people at the door.”
“Sadie?”
“Jeff’s dog.”
That was interesting. No one would have had use for a dog, so why would anyone searching the office take the picture and the dog? Those were private things, with value and meaning only to the owner, there wasn't much someone else could do with them. This whole thing, the case, was become stranger by the minute. Jensen didn’t like it.
They searched the room using the same pattern they'd used in the office, going through it by defined parameters and each of them searching a different part. Jensen was kneeling in front of the desk when he saw a tablet pc attached to the underside of it.
It was blinking green, indicating that it was online and connected to a network. Interesting. Jensen wanted to know what it was and why it was under the desk, not visible unless you searched for it.
His fingertips were touching it already when Jared shouted at him not to. It was too late. A rumbled started low beneath them. Jensen supposed it was coming from the basement. He didn’t have time to contemplate it further because he was yanked up by the arm and dragged out of the office at a speed that was almost too much for his feet.
“What the … Jared?”
“Lock down. The house is going on lock down because you touched the security trap.”
Oh. Okay that would explain the low rumble and the shaking floors. Their feet were thumping on the wooden floor, leaving hollow sounds in the empty house. They almost flew down the stairs, so fast that Jensen had to clutch at Jared’s arm and shoulder to prevent himself from really flying down the stairs headfirst.
His blood was pumping, rushing in his ears, breath was coming out harshly while he tried to listen to the sounds of the house locking down around them. Jared thundered down the stairs in front of him, urging Jensen to hurry while taking the corners at a sharp angle.
Jensen’s shoulder crashed into one of the walls as he skidded into Jared, who just jumped down the last few steps and continued to sprint down to the entrance hall. Jensen’s pained hiss was overwhelmed by the loud sounds of the locks and windows shutting down.
Jensen didn’t know if it was just his imagination or if things really just got darker, but he just knew he didn’t want to stay to find out. They sprinted across the marble floor and Jared almost went down when his shoe got caught in one of the threads of the rug. Jensen caught him by a flailing arm and they managed to skid along the floor to reach the main door.
The door was locked, wouldn’t open when Jared turned and twisted the handle and he cursed loudly. Jensen was pressed close to Jared, could almost smell the fear and desperation but there wasn’t anything he could do. If they didn’t get out of the house, they’d be locked in and sedated until the police was informed. Jensen really could live without that experience. But it didn’t look like he’d be that lucky.
Just then, Jared smashed in the glass panel in the middle of the main door and shoved Jensen through. He knuckles scraped along the wall, his knee jammed into the door frame and he banged his head at the iron wall that was coming down in front of the door. He landed on the front steps with a gasp when the air was almost pressed out of him because Jared landed hard on him.
During his fall, he'd managed to grab Jared’s hand, pulling the other man along with him. They lay tangled together, breathing hard and trying to calm down. Jensen didn't even try to hide his relief, patting Jared on the back before finally letting himself relax back onto the concrete.
***
“Jensen, do you always touch things that blink red?”
“Huh?”
They were back in Jensen’s car, on the way to Jensen place to get cleaned up and come up with a new plan.. Jensen was so deep in thought that he actually jumped when Jared spoke.
“The tablet pc you touched. I always thought people knew not to touch things that blinked red. So I was wondering why you did it.”
“Well, it wasn’t blinking red for one thing.”
“It wasn’t?”
“Nope. It was green. I just thought it was odd that it was attached to the underside of the desk. How was I supposed to know it was a trap, usually those things are triggered by laser or something.”
Jared was silent for a while and when Jensen looked over, he was frowning and didn’t look happy at all.
“What is it?”
“It was online. It must have been connected to the network and the house shouldn’t have gone into lock down. It’s usually triggered when robbers are searching the desk, so I thought had turned that off, but … if it was green and online, then it had to get the order from the network to shut down.”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone wanted us trapped. Such a lock down order can only be given by someone who has the system codes for the house. That’s either Jeff or me. It wasn’t me ... so…”
“Jeff?”
Jared shrugged, sank down into the seat and let his head drop down. Jensen didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know what to think. It was all a little too much, and his head still hurt from where he'd banged it against the lock down wall.
Jensen thought about the whole lock down thing for a long time, tossing and then dismissing ideas in his mind. He went through scenarios which would cause Jeff to lock them in. One of those was Jeff trying to keep them safe from something.
He was about to mention that to Jared when something crashed into the driver’s side of the car, almost running them off the street. Jared shouted out a warning and Jensen desperately tried to get the car back under control. It fishtailed, spun around once and before finally coming to a standstill in the middle of the street.
“Shit! What the fuck was that?”
The highway looked deserted, empty. They were alone. Jensen looked around, frantically trying to figure out what had hit them. Jared did the same. They both turned to each other at the same time and just stared.
It was too quiet. Like the calm before a storm, when every living creature tried to find a place to hide. Jensen could practically feel the anticipation build inside of him. Something was out there and they seemed to be the target, the prey.
“Jen…”
Jared couldn’t finish the question he was about to ask. This time, something crashed into the passenger side of the car and almost catapulted Jared into Jensen’s lap.
“You okay, Jared?”
“Yeah. I am.. Fine. I'm fine. Just a little shook up.”
Oh, Jensen thought, this was definitely not good. When he turned his head to look at his side of the car, Jensen finally caught a glimpse of their attacker.
“You‘ve got be fucking kidding me.”
“Jensen?”
“It’s a freaking cleaning bot. Why the hell is a cleaning bot attacking us? How can it?”
“What? No way. LifeTech wouldn’t allow that? It can’t happen. It’s just can’t.”
“Apparently it can. Jesus Jared, we are getting attacked and I am sure as hell not hallucinating here.”
“Jensen! Drive!”
Jared’s panic cry sent Jensen into motion, he restarted the car, set it into gear and was about to step down on the accelerator when he saw another cleaning bot in the rear-view mirror. It was too close for Jensen to out drive it.
“Hold on to something, Jay. There's another one behind us.”
The impact came almost a second later, pushing the car forward and slamming both men into the console. Jensen's head smashed against the steering wheel, leaving him dizzy and unfocused. He could feel blood dripping down his forehead and tried to concentrate on getting them away.
Almost by instinct, he got the car going and flew down the deserted highway. For a second, he wondered if the rampant service bots had closed down the rest off the highway so that they could attack the car without witnesses. But after a moment, Jensen almost snorted at his own paranoid thoughts. As if robots could actually do something that targeted the lives of human beings.
Except apparently they could, since they were still attacking the car. Each impact sent the car sliding to one or the other side of the street, and Jensen just narrowly avoided colliding with several lamp posts or in one case, a building site fence.
“Oh, God.”
“Jay?”
“They are green. The ... the cleaning bots are online. Someone is ordering this. What’s going on here, Jensen?”
“I don’t know, Jay. I don’t know! But as soon as we are out of this, we're going to find out.”
Jensen had a hard time concentrating on where he was driving. They were going fast, faster than he thought was smart under the circumstances. Blood was clouding his vision and he still felt dizzy from the hit he'd taken. His focus swam between his scraped bloody knuckles clutching the steering wheel, the road in front of them and Jared’s laboured, almost pained, breathing.
Jared had been hit in the ribs and Jensen was almost sure that the hit from behind had banged them up even more.
Maybe it was time he told Mike that something was going on and that they needed help. He hoped that with Jared there, it wouldn’t be as hard to explain what happened. He hoped that his colleagues actually came to help and didn’t think it was one of his paranoia attacks.
“Jared?”
“Yes.”
“Do me a favour and press the yellow panel in front of you. Please.”
Jensen didn’t dare to take his eyes off the road, didn’t even dare to look at Jared to see if he’d found the right panel. Mike’s voice filling the air told him that Jared had found it.
“Detective Ackles? Everything alright?”
“Mike! I need help. We are getting attacked on the South route toward Long Beach. Am almost at the inner city ramp. Send someone. Please, Mike.”
“Jensen, what's wrong? Attacked? By whom? Who is we? Jensen? Jen, answer me.”
The connection went dead even though the online link was still active. This time Jensen dared to glance at Jared. The other man had a stunned expression plastered in his face that was momentarily overpowering the pained one that lay underneath. Jared looked like Jensen was feeling.
When the next hit came, Jensen was totally unprepared for it. They were closing in on the ramp that would lead them off the highway and toward Jensen’s place and Jensen was looking for their reinforcements, for anything that looked remotely like police.
The car was hit in the rear again and Jensen couldn’t prevent it from spiralling around and crashing into the side walls that surrounded the highway. Car parts were flying around, the car itself just kept on spinning, sliding down the street while the robots continued to crash into it. Jensen didn’t know what to do other than to try and keep the car on the highway.
And then it was over. The next attack was the final one. There was a chocked gasp from Jared, a curse and a painful hiss from Jensen as the car was rolling onto its roof. Jensen lost control of the car, losing his grip on the steering wheel and prayed things would end quickly.
He was almost sure that this was it. And what a freaking coincidence that he had to die because of those damn robots. He would have laughed at the irony if he wasn’t so busy bracing himself against the impact of the car slamming into one of the pillars by the ramp.
They skidded on the roof for a few more seconds before a concrete wall stopped the slide. The last thing Jensen heard were Jared’s whimper and the far away sound of sirens, then he gave into the darkness that was staring to cloud his mind.
***
Jensen blinked his way back into consciousness. Groaned as pain shot through his neck and shoulder. This wasn’t good. He wasn’t sure where he was. Everything was dark. Dark and in a narrow space. He felt his legs twisted under him and something warm pressed into his side.
Thoughts and images were racing through his mind. Old images, new ones. No particular order to them. Images of him lying on a gurney, of Jeff bending over him and talking calmly. Blood tickling down his face, arm and back. Jared’s face morphing into the whole jumbled mess.
Jared. Jared. Jared.
Even with his training as a cop, Jensen couldn’t suppress the slight panic that welled up inside him. And who could blame him? They'd been attacked by robots that weren’t supposed to be able to harm humans. They'd crashed a car and if Jared didn’t answer him soon, Jensen might be inclined to think that at least one of them hadn’t been lucky enough to survive this crash.
It wasn’t until he heard a low groan and felt the warmth against his side moving, that he maybe was able to stop overreacting or freaking out. He tried again to call for Jared, this time he tired to be louder than the thoughts inside his head.
“Jared?”
“Am here, Jen. Are you hurt?”
Jensen wiggled his toes, moved his legs, arched his back as good as he could and moved his arms as well as his fingers. At least nothing was broken.
“Just cuts. Bruises. Banged my head… again. Was gone for a bit. Nothing bad, though. You? Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Bruised ribs though. I'm having a hard time breathing, probably because it hurts a little too much for my taste. Other than that, I'm fine.”
All that was whispered against Jensen’s neck. They were pressed close, entangled as they had been when they had crashed out of Jeff’s house. This time Jensen was enjoying the closeness, but only because both of them were still alive and didn’t seem to be too badly injured, which was a wonder after their high speed crash.
“Okay, then.. let’s try and get out of this wreck. I can still hear the sirens, they should be here soon.”
It took some time and some jostling around and a lot of groans, pained hisses and complaining, but they managed to climb out of the car without injuring themselves even more. What they were faced with looked like some kind of war zone.
Debris and mangled car parts were scattered across the whole highway, mixed among them were parts of the cleaning bots that had attacked them. Not far away, the rest of the armada, online and appearing to be innocent and non-threatening.
“Wow.”
Jensen could only nod at Jared’s exclamation. They stood there for a while, checking each other over and going through the piles of smashed parts. It didn’t look like the car would be salvageable.
“That… doesn’t make any sense Jen. Why would they do that? They aren’t programmed to do that.”
Jensen didn’t have an answer, didn’t know what he could possibly say to take away the haunted look in Jared’s eyes or the paleness or the bruises. So he just shrugged, turned back towards the car while grabbing Jared’s hand and leading him away from the scenery.
They were sitting on the boot of the car when Mike and his reinforcements arrived. Mike took one look at them and sent them home with one of his officers. But not before Jensen told him exactly what happened. Of course, all that under the stares and sniggers of the police officers. Jared stayed silent, but nodded from time to time when Mike looked at him for confirmation.
Jensen didn’t tell Mike what else he and Jared were thinking. Mike wouldn’t believe in the disappearance theory anyway, not without any real evidence. And, Jensen thought, the lack of blood, a mysterious message and a missing dog at Jeff’s house weren’t quite enough to actually make Mike listen.
It wouldn't do them any good to mention their suspicion anyway. Especially with their recent discovery that somehow connected everything to the LifeTech network. Not that anyone would believe them anyway. Mike was on the phone with LifeTech when Jensen moved to the car that would escort them back to his place. Jared said he didn’t want to go to home, he'd quietly said his place was wired, but just loud enough that only Jensen could hear.
When Jensen closed the door, he could hear Mike speaking about a malfunction of the cleaning bots and he know what LifeTech’s answer would be. Just a glitch in the software, nothing to worry about.
Jensen had a feeling that it was much more than just a simple malfunction and he was going to find out -- if it was the last thing he'd do. Foreboding or not, he knew robots going mental wasn’t something he wanted to see happening, regardless of his opinion on robots.
***
They were sitting in Jensen’s living room, Jared still amazed by the amount of stuff that didn’t belong into the middle of the 21st century. Jensen tried not to get too excited about Jared being there and approving of his style.
They had cleaned up, bandaged Jared’s ribs. Jensen had even allowed a medi bot inside his apartment to look them over and check their wounds. He couldn’t get rid of it fast enough once it was done. There wasn’t any thing he couldn’t do himself, so no medi bot needed after the thorough check through.
They had even managed to eat something and before long Jensen was feeling like himself again. He had send the cop away, trying not to see the relieved sigh the young man let loose when he turned and marched back to the car.
Mike had called as well and told them it was just a software malfunction and that LifeTech apologized profusely. Jensen hadn’t even let Mike finish before he hung up. Jared just frowned when Jensen told him what had officially happened to them.
Jared had tried to come up with explanations, with ideas about why and LifeTech robots even when online could be manipulated or could develop a mind of their own. He didn’t know much and it was clear to Jensen that Jared was as surprised and as bother at Jensen was by what was happening. Jared, and Jensen was sure it was real for him, looked like his world came crashing down a second time that day.
By the time they had revisited everything, gone through different theories over and over again, it was dark outside and Jensen was mentally preparing for Jared to sit up any minute now and declaring he was going home to his own place.
When Jared actually did stand up, Jensen's heart jumped a little. He wasn’t ready to let Jared go, not now, not in this situation. He didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to try and find a plan how go on all by himself. He just didn’t want to.
Jensen was almost ready to blurt that all out when Jared sat back down. He was holding a small disk in the palm of his hand.
“Man, I totally forgot about that. In all the rush, with the house and the car crash and everything, I didn’t even think about it. I took this from Jeff’s place. It was in envelop with my name on it and I don’t know what it is. Thought it might be important.”
Jensen held out his and was actually surprised that Jared gave him the disk without even batting an eye. For a second, he scolded Jared for being so trusting and then scolded himself for even thinking it. He was glad that Jared did trust him, this whole endeavour would have been so much harder if they hadn’t already known each other.
“Hmmm. It's too small for any of the computer docking stations or disk drives.”
“Yeah. I thought so, too. It’s too small and I have no idea what to do with it or how to play it.”
Jared reached out to grab the cup of tea that he'd abandoned during their plan discussions. When he was close to the cup, something caught Jensen’s eyes. He didn’t even know what he was doing until Jared’s slight squeal penetrated his daze. He looked down at where he was grabbing Jared’s wrist. There was a watch. A watch that looked expensive and old, like the one he had found in Jeffrey’s office, or better the part of it he had in the pocket of his jeans that now lay discarded in the bathroom.
“Jensen? Is something wrong?” Jared asked, confused when Jensen wouldn’t let go of his hand.
“Uh ... Who gave you that watch?”
“Why?” Jensen hated that Jared sounded so confused, even a little scared. He hated that he was the one making Jared sound like that. It seemed like the strong man he had seen in the lab and Jeff’s house was exhausted and needed a break. Now, Jared just looked young and tired. Jensen wanted to hug him.
“Just answer me, Jay. Please?”
“Jeffrey. When I graduated. He said it was special.”
But you know the key is to watch, so watch the kid.
It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. Remembering Jeff's words from the hologram and now seeing the watch on Jared’s wrist, made the pieces click in place in Jensen’s mind. It wasn’t just watching the kid, it was the watch itself. Well, of course, the kid who was wearing it.
Jensen grinned, pulling Jared’s wrist closer and began to search for a release mechanism. It would have been faster if he'd taken the watch off of Jared’s arm first, but he just didn’t want to stop touching. Couldn't stop touching.
They were close now, foreheads almost touching and both of them were breathing shallowly, like they didn’t want the moment to end. Jensen’s fingers remained enclosed around Jared’s slender wrist. He felt the warmth going out from the skin and marveled at how smooth it felt. How good it felt.
“Jensen. What are you doing?” Jared asked in an almost whispered breath.
“I am trying to open the watch. To play the disk.”
“Huh?”
“That’s what Jeff told me. In his message. The holodisk this morning, remember?”
Jared just nodded, eyes glued to what Jensen was doing. Pulse quickening under Jensen’s fingers, breath ghosting over Jensen’s cheek, his ear. They had never been this close before. Okay, they had, but the car was a totally different situation and Jensen hadn’t even realised how close they were then.
Now, though, he could smell Jared, could smell his own soap and shampoo on the other man and it made him almost breathless, leaving his hands a little sweaty. The third time his hand slid from the watch, Jensen coughed and mentally chided himself. He trained his eyes solely on the task at hand and finally managed to find a little indention on the side of the watch.
It opened after a slight press into the indention and Jared gasped a little and stared. Jensen, though, just tugged the small disk out of Jared’s palm and slid into the open space.
The map that sprang up had both of them frowning for a few minutes until Jared started to laugh and shake his head.
“It’s a road map. Leading to Jeff’s cabin, I guess. He never really spoke about it. Only once when he was drunk. Said it was at the border of the desert. He told me it was his only safe place, not connected to anything. No network, no internet. Nothing. I guess it figures that he might go there if something's going on. I still don’t know what could be wrong, but I guess since LifeTech is obviously trying to stop us for some reason, something is definitely going on.”
"I guess were will be going there, then. To the summer house.”
“Yeah. It’s worth a shot. I mean, the worst thing that can happen is that no one's there and this was just some kind of mistake. I don’t know … “
“I don’t think so, Jared. Jeff had this all planned. I'm pretty sure of it now. I mean, why send me that message and give you the perfect device to display a map to his only hiding place?”
“Yeah. I know… I just… I guess I want to know what’s going. I want to know if the hope I've been trying to clamp down since the lab is worth having or not … I just want to know.”
The last was said with a sigh, a yawn and Jensen suddenly realised how late it was and how tired Jared must be. Not to mention that Jensen was about to fall over as well. He wasn’t young anymore and surviving being chased by a house, by cleaning bots and a car crash might be a little too much -- even for his trained body.
He touched the indention at Jared’s watch again so that the map projection vanished. He stood up and tucked Jared up as well.
“Let’s sleep. We can figure out what’s really going on tomorrow. Neither one of us can think straight right now and I'm sure as hell not driving to the desert while I'm dead tired.”
Jared smiled slightly, tried to suppress another yawn and then laughed outright when he failed.
“Yeah. Okay. Uhm, Jensen?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Willing to work with me on this? Keeping me alive? Let me crash at your place when I could have gone back to mine? Just you know … thank you.”
Jensen stopped preparing the couch as a bed and turned, watching the younger man standing the middle of his living room. He looked at him for a minute, but could see so much, could see all the things he'd missed during their breakfasts.
Jared was still so young.
“How old are you?”
“Uhm … 24. Why?”
“I thought you’d be young but I never really thought about it beyond the fact that you were the kid to me. And you're welcome, by the way, even though there was no need to thank me.”
Jared smiled, that wide dimpled smile Jensen loved to see but could never admit. It was just a little too close to home for his taste, especially if he’d said it out loud.
“Okay. Uhm, can I ask you something?”
“What if I say no? You’ll do it anyway, right?”
Jared nodded, hair flopping over hazel eyes and that dimpled grin still present. Jensen just sighed, he knew he was doomed the day he'd crashed into Jared, and there was no reason to deny it now.
“Go ahead then, shoot.”
“How did you know Jeff?”
Of all the questions Jared could have asked, this definitely wasn't the one Jensen expected. But it was a valid question nonetheless. Jared told him when he'd asked, so the least he could do was to return the favour, even if it stirred up painful memories and made parts of him visible he wanted to hide. But it was Jared, and Jensen should probably stop trying to rationalise his own behaviour.
There wasn’t really anything to talk about, so Jensen just turned toward Jared and showed him.
Jensen let his holographic eye slide a little, so that Jared was able to see what lay behind. “A good eye and a bad one.”
He almost smiled at the kid’s stunned look, but was baffled when that morphed into a wicked grin.
"I already know which one is which for you.” The deadpan tone of Jared’s voice made him wonder if the guy was mocking him or not. But then he went on, “what happened?"
“Short version, ‘cause it's easier to tell. I was on a case, heavy shit. Smuggling, murder and so on. Me and my partner were caught in cross fire, between another unit and the guys we had been watching. Both of us had been shot -- with bullets and laser guns. Burned my left eye out, damaged my nerves and almost hacked my left arm and shoulder to pieces, crushed my ribs in several places. The docs said they couldn't do anything, but one of them knew Jeff. Called him up and asked if he could help me.
“The thing was that my partner needed help as well, more so than I did. She'd gotten the worst of it and I didn’t want them to go for me first. she could have survived. Could have... I don't know.... But that damn medi bot calculated the risks and chances of survival and got me into surgery first. When I came out, I had the eye, half a new shoulder, new ribs and no partner. Sophia… she had family. We were close and I never really got over it. I guess I didn’t want to once up on a time and it’s just easy not to. Jeff was the one who got me through it. Talked to me, explained what had happened with my body. He trained me, showed me how to use my eye, how to coordinate my body again.
“We became friends. But I hadn’t seen him in a while. Just talked to him occasionally. But he never said that anything was wrong.”
Jared was sitting next to him by the time he'd finished. Jensen didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to see the pity in those soulful eyes. He couldn’t stand it, not now, and he wouldn’t want to see it. He was emotionally drained, just thinking about the whole thing made him angry. It was slowly becoming his default setting these days.
"So that's why you distrust robots and AI's that much?"
Jared looked thoughtful but not judging and Jensen asked himself how the other man managed to do that after everything he knew and had heard.
"Mainly, yes. It's more like.. I feel more comfortable around things that are controlled by humans, even if there are emotions and unpredictable actions everywhere but at least I can say it's human to react this way and it's kind of understandable. With AI I feel... watched. Controlled. And there is nothing I can do about it because everything is being done on the basis of logic and calculations. I just don't know if that's always the best thing. I don't know if robots controlling robots and humans are less than humans doing the same. I had too many cases and saw too many things that might suggest otherwise."
Tilting his head a little so that he was looking directly at Jensen instead of at the wall behind him Jared didn't say anything for a while. He just watched, took things in and maybe even revised his own look on things. Jensen wouldn't put it past him, not when he knew that the things that had happened during the day had shaken Jared's world to the core, broke it appart and didn't leave a manual on how to fix it again. To say things were complicated would have been an understatement.
“What’s this?”
Jared was touching the little communicator that was attached to Jensen’s left wrist. It was small and almost invisible and Jensen usually forgot about it. He shouldn’t though, it might be the thing that would safe his life one of these days.
“My back up plan. Press it in hard when I am down and an emergency call will be let loose, every officer within calling distance will be on the way then. GPS guided but not network linked.”
Jared nodded, focused on the little rectangular piece attached to Jensen’s skin, thumb slowly moving over it, over the skin. Sending goose bumps up Jensen’s arm, a shiver down his spin and sparks up his face. Jared shouldn’t have that effect on him, yet he had.
Jensen turned his head to hide his eyes, hide his cheek which was twitching with nerves again.
“It’s twitching.”
“Yeah. It sometimes does.”
“I can fix it. I have the tools.”
“Goddamnit, Jared. I am not one of you robots. Leave it, okay?”
He was up and almost all the way to the bed when he turned back. He saw Jared slumped onto the couch. He sighed, banged his head against the door frame and called Jared’s name. When Jared looked up, Jensen smiled apologetically.
“I'm sorry. Long day. I didn’t mean… I… Sleep, Jay. We both need it.”
****
He woke up to shuffling feet and slow breathing at the side of his bed. Usually, he would have already grabbed for the gun under his pillow, but some how he knew it was Jared standing there.
“Jared? Something wrong?”
“No ... I just ... I couldn’t sleep. I am cold and ... I 'm sorry for waking you. I’ll go. Back to the couch. Now.”
Something was definitely going on with the kid and Jensen sure as hell wasn't going back to sleep when he knew something was wrong. Jensen still felt bad about his earlier outburst and that he might have been a little harsh with Jared. But that didn’t justify or even start to explain what came out of his mouth next.
“Come here.”
“What?”
“I said come here. You're cold, tired and you apparently can’t sleep on the couch. We can both pretend that you weren't standing there watching me sleep, and we also can pretend that there isn’t anything between us. But I’d like to go back to sleep and it would make me feel better if you were laying here next to me instead of looming over my sleeping body. That would be kind of creepy. And, really I don’t need you to keel over from being tired to death.”
Jared snorted, but climbed into bed next to Jensen anyway. It was awkward as hell and neither said anything for a long time. But, of course, neither of them went back to sleep, either. It'd been a while since Jensen had shared his bed with anyone. And if it had been seven years since the last time, Jensen didn't care. It's not like he'd been keep track anyway.
“So, there's something between us, huh? Or was that just your way of getting me into your bed, officer.”
“Kid?”
“Yes?”
“Shut up and sleep.”
Jared chuckled, but did as he is told. Not long after, Jensen drifted off into a fitful sleep, but free of nightmares for once.
The next time Jensen woke up, the sun was already up and he found himself curled again a solid 6 foot 4 octopus. Jared’s arms and legs were snaked through Jensen’s or just curled around his body. Jensen was completely and thoroughly trapped. And, if he was being honest, he didn’t mind it that much.
Jensen never thought he’d like waking up next to another person again, but it seemed like he did and didn’t want to lose that feeling. Jared was breathing evenly, still asleep and not anywhere near waking up. At least, that's what Jensen thought.
Jensen moved slightly to get more comfortable in Jared’s arms. He didn’t really know what to do next, he didn’t want to get up, wasn’t ready to leave the warmth and comfort of his bed. But they had to go. Had to try and find Jeff to figure out what the hell was going on. And, he kind of suspected that Jared was just a cuddly sleeper, seeking comfort after the day he’d had. There wasn’t anything sexual in the embrace, just comfort, simple holding.
Jensen never was a man who refused some cuddling, but usually that came after the sex and didn’t happen randomly. He didn’t even try to think about what it might mean or that Jared was probably just seeking comfort. He knew that Jared was a tactile person, loved to touch and move into someone’s personal space, so it shouldn’t be all that surprising that he got cuddly while sleeping.
Thinking back to the previous evening, about how pale and distraught Jared had been, thinking about how he hadn’t even reacted when Jensen snapped at him, made Jensen feel guilty. The kid’s world was crashing down around him and so far there hadn’t been a breakdown. Yet. Jensen thought it was just a matter of time and maybe Jared sliding into bed with him last night had been the beginning.
The sun was coming through the openings in the shades, rays visible in the otherwise dark room. Jared’s breath still tickled against the skin on his neck and Jensen moved his head so that he could look at the man who was somehow holding him captive.
Jensen turned even more, now almost completely around, pressing his fingers against Jared's hips in the process. They just fit, slotted pieces into place. Then he was suddenly touching bare skin. All he could do was to hold on and sigh against Jared’s cheek that was pressed against his own.
Jared moaned slowly, started to wake up and Jensen could feel him blink, could feel eyelashes moving against his skin. It was more intimate than anything he'd ever experienced. And then he felt lips pressing against his, seeking entrance and demanding even more.
Jensen didn’t move away, didn’t protest or tell Jared that this was too fast. What he did instead was to pull the other man even closer. Because he wanted it. He really wanted Jared and had since the day they met. Jensen didn’t even try to understand why, he just let his instincts take over.
He moved with Jared, growled when the kiss broke and found he couldn't resist the impulse to push his fingers under the hem of Jared's t-shirt, felt the beginnings of the bandage underneath. Jared’s mouth was rough on his, biting, insistent but not painful. It was aggressive, almost desperate.
Jensen didn’t know if this was a good idea. He didn’t resist though, couldn’t stop. And he didn’t want to. Jared wriggled against him, let Jensen slip free of the tight embrace and pushed him down in to the bed. Aggressive but still careful, still seeking comfort and reassurance even in the desperation that was clouding his mind.
Jensen liked it. Liked to be claimed, no one every tried to before. No one ever went as far as Jensen wanted them to go. Jared, in his desperation, was careful but radiated power that made Jensen weak and he moaned loudly.
Jared pushed him down, almost pinning him, and then crawled on top of him. He stopped, was almost frozen in this position, hovering over Jensen and looked down at him.
“This is ... it’s okay right?”
Jensen blinked, not really all there and it took him a second to realise what Jared had asked. It took him far longer than he was willing to admit. Instead of answer with words, Jensen surged up, caught Jared’s already bruised lips between his teeth and sucked. Hard.
The answering groan sent vibrations through Jensen’s body and if Jared still had doubts, he would show him just how much he wanted this. Jared seemed to like when Jensen took control, but he also seemed to love the control he had, the one that Jensen gave him. Jared shifted above him, let his hands wander and then just simply tugged the rest of Jensen’s clothes off.
He looked again. Just looked and took in Jensen, let his fingers tentatively slide over heated skin already slick with sweat. Tugged at nipples while he lowered himself down to nip at Jensen’s throat.
The room was filled with panting, moans, groaning and Jared whispering nothings against Jensen’s skin.
“God Jen … Jensen. I need … Can I? Please.”
Yeah, Jay. Whatever you need. I'm here.”
Jensen hadn’t planned on saying that, hadn’t even been aware of thinking it. It was true. Jared could have, could take whatever he wanted from Jensen. He wouldn’t even blink before giving it to him. It was a scary thought. And he thought that it was the wrong thought to have just then.
But he didn't have a chance to dwell on it because Jared’s fingers were on his cock, squeezing, then on his hip, pulling him up a little. Both their shorts were gone, Jensen didn’t even notice when Jared took his off and he wasn’t really in the right state of mind to question anything.
Arousal was surging through his bones, every fiber of his being, making it harder to breath, to concentrate on anything other than the fingers teasing him. Jensen shivered, moaned louder than before and just let himself go.
“Jen? Stuff?”
This time, he heard every single word clearly. Jared was straddling his hips, mouth close to Jensen’s ear when he asked and then instantly started nibbling at skin. Jensen fumbled a little, but still managed to reach out and get the lube out of the nightstand.
Jared took it as soon as he could, squeezed some onto his finger and then slowly pressed them against Jensen's ass. It was torture, sweet torture but still torture all the same. Jensen lost time because all he could think about were Jared's fingers. And then there were more fingers suddenly, finding the spot inside of him and almost sending him off the bed. He arched, thrust his hips to get Jared’s fingers to move. Just to move over that spot again.
Jared twisted his fingers, pulled out again and did it all over again. Jensen’s breath grew raged and then Jared was kissing him again. Biting, nibbling, and biting again. It was a circle and Jared drew it out to the heights of pleasure. Jensen wasn’t sure if he could stand it much longer.
Somewhere along the way there was more lube, a condom and more twists of fingers inside of him and then … then there was Jared over him, blanketing him and then pressing into Jensen. Pressing with controlled power but going too slow. All it took was one twist of Jensen’s hip, one little arch to set them off. They went from waiting to kissing desperately to fucking quicker than Jensen was able to process.
Not that he minded it. They both seemed to need it. Seemed to need the comfort it brought, the knowledge of not being alone, of someone being there and feeling the same. Jared’s mouth was on his, biting again as he thrust, faster, lost in the rhythm, giving up the ability to hold back.
Jensen almost screamed when Jared’s fingers closed around his cock and stroked hard. It was almost too much. He hooked his legs around Jared, drew him deeper, closer. Needed to feel every thrust, every glide of cock over the bundle of nerves. Nothing was in focus anymore, there were lights, swirls, Jared swimming in and out of his vision. It was perfect. Good. And oh so desperate.
“God, Jay … Move. Please. Move faster.”
Jensen closed his eyes, to shut out the world and concentrate solely on Jared. He shook, shuddered and came hard, body pressed tight against Jared's. His hands were digging into Jared’s hips, forced them to stay close, to thrust deeper even. Then Jared slowed, threw his head back and with one last thrust came hard. Gasping, moaning and shuddering above Jensen.
Jared almost collapsed onto Jensen, and only rolled sideways when he was almost plastered against his chest again. And if Jensen didn’t mind cuddling before sex, he sure as hell wouldn’t mind it afterward. Besides, he was way too tired and satisfied to even think of moving. He didn’t even care that they were sticky, sweaty and generally disgusting. He just hoped Jared hadn’t dropped the condom on one his 2003 retro sneakers.
The sun had moved a little and was now shining directly into the gap between the two shutters, painting Jared’s chestnut hair with a soft golden hue. Jensen couldn’t resist the urge to card his finger through it. He'd wanted to do that for a long time and even if it was hard explaining why such a simple action made him feel warm and settled.
Jared moaned a little when Jensen began to massage his scalp. Moved closer and tucked his head under Jensen’s chin so that he was lying on Jensen’s chest and could wrap his arms and legs around the other man again. Jensen let his other hand tail up and down the arm that was slung around him, counting the bruises, reminders of things he wasn’t yet ready to deal with. Not now.
“I … I've kind of been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you.”
Jared shuddered at Jensen’s breath ghosting over the top of his hear and then simply nodded.
“Why didn’t you? All the wasted time, Jen.”
“Because it would just have been casual.”
“I wouldn’t have minded.”
“You would have, Jay. You really would have.”
“Yeah, I guess I would. So … uhm.. not causal now?”
“Not from my side.”
“Good. ‘Cause my side likes your side.”
Jensen laughed, kissed the top of Jared’s head and started to wiggled out from under him. It was about time they set off if they were going to look for Jeff. He told Jared as much, but it only earned a groan and another kiss.
Jensen was amazed that they weren't awkward, how much things were still the same. The only difference was that now they didn’t need to suppress the urge to touch or kiss or lick. Breakfast was an interesting adventure and Jensen thought he might get less food and coffee while Jared was around.
When they were both showered, dressed and ready to set off, Jensen was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. The situation hadn’t been the perfect time to start something between them. After all, they were both seeking comfort from an emotional roller coaster the day before. Jensen was caught between believing it was happening and thinking Jared would turn around any second and actually have that nervous breakdown Jensen was waiting for.
But Jared seemed a little more relaxed, almost back to normal. Even a bit hopeful.
And of course, Jared seemed to know exactly what was going on inside Jensen’s head, which made the thing between them just a little creepy and so much more profound. Jared seemed to know that he wouldn’t get Jensen to talk, so they didn’t talk.
Afterward, Jensen wished that everyday would start like this and was spending far too much time thinking that it might happen -- if they made it out alive.
Part 3