Fic: Telling The Truth
Fic: Telling The Truth
Companion fic to Belonging Here
Pairing: Lapierre/Bieksa
Summary: Kevin's been lying to Maxim about going on dates with girls.
Just a short scene that happened during the Kessy fic that I just couldn't not write.
Someone knocks on Kevin’s door in the afternoon, and it could only be a neighbour or something so he goes to answer it; it’s not like they know he’s supposedly on a date. Except - when he opens the door, it’s Maxim, and oh, God, he was not expecting that.
“What - you - um,” he manages, swallows. “Hi,” he offers up. Maybe Maxim forgot he’s on a date.
“Kes said to come to your place,” Maxim says, this serious, unamused tone, and it’s just not like him.
“Why?” He sounds nervous. He shouldn’t sound nervous. But he’s just so nervous.
“I don’t know,” Maxim says, “you tell me.” Kevin casts around for something to say, anything, fucking anything, but Maxim’s here and he’s not happy and did he find out? What does he know? “Is someone here?” Maxim asks, a little less tightly.
“Oh. No.” Kevin steps back, opens the door more, but Maxim doesn’t move.
“As in, your date was cancelled?” So he definitely remembers. Kevin nods slowly.
“Yeah... something like that.”
“Something like that?” Maxim repeats, this low tone that makes Kevin bite his lip and forget how to breathe properly.
“Uh-huh. So, come in. You wanna do something?” he know this won’t work, because Maxim’s frowning in a way that he just doesn’t do, something’s just. Wrong.
“What do you mean by ‘something like that’?” Maxim asks.
“I mean like... it was cancelled. Or never existed, really.” Maybe Maxim won’t be mad. Maybe. Oh please please -
“Kes said you lie to me,” Maxim says, a dangerous, low tone Kevin’s never heard from him before, makes him so nervous he feels like he’s going to fall to pieces. “But I told him, no, you don’t.” His voice shakes just a little, and fuck, please, not this, anything but this, please don’t let Maxim be hurt in any way - “so I come, because, I prove you would not-” his English is starting to fall apart, and that’s never good, never - “because I do not know why he says this.”
“Maxi,” Kevin manages, “I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do. I don’t blame you for being pissed off, I’m sorry.”
“Are you always lying to me?” Maxim asks in a small voice.
“Of course not!” He just hates himself, how could he do this to Maxim? How could he make Maxim feel like this?
“Of course not!”
“So this is the first date that is not really existing?”
“Well, no...” he wishes there was a different answer he could give, but this is the one he gave to himself, and it’s not fair, why was he so stupid?
“How many is not existing?”
“All of them. Um, none of them. All were not existing. None existed. Yeah,” he stammers, can’t even string together a sentence. He wants to hug Maxim.
“So, why are you telling Kes this, and not me? Does everyone know this and just not me?” Maxim’s voice is trembling, and it’s all Kevin’s fault.
“I don’t know! It’s not anything to know!” Oh, God, why did he do this? Why is Maxim upset? “It’s not a big deal.”
“You are lying to me every week and is not a big deal?”
“I said I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it anymore.” He wants to beg anything, because Maxim’s got tears welled in his eyes and this is Kevin’s fault. “Please come in,” he pleads, wants to hug him and make it better, but he’s the one that made it all wrong -
“No, you are lying to me to not be spending time with me,” Maxim’s words are tumbling together, his voice shaking, “you should have just be telling me this - I know you are not liking me, but not - not this badly, is because - is not my fault I am in love with you, you do not have to be - to be lying to me-”
Before Kevin can even process that, Maxim’s gone, the stairwell door slamming behind him. Kevin just stands there, so scared and so fucking empty, like Maxim just tore his heart out, but no, he did that to himself, by hurting his favourite person in the world.
He digs his phone out of his pocket, calls Kes, because that motherfucker.
“He-” Kes starts.
“You fucking told Lappy I lie to him?!” Kevin yells.
“Well, let’s be honest. You do.”
“Explain to me exactly why that’s any of your fucking business, or your place to tell him?!” Goddamnit, he could have handled this better himself - he hasn’t yet, but he would have.
“Because I know something you don’t. So shut the fuck up and go after him.”
“Even if we pretend for one fucking moment that you are some kind of ambassador of good moral consciense, I dont’ even a merit a ‘if you don’t tell him, I will,’ warning first?!” Kevin snarls. Kes could have told him, and Kevin could have had time to think, to tell poor Maxim in a way that wouldn’t upset him.
“I didn’t think of that,” Kes says, this bewildered tone that says he really didn’t think a tall.
“What do you think you know that I don’t know?”
“I can’t tell you that. Didn’t he?”
“What the fuck, you can’t tell me this, but you can tell Lappy something you knew that he didn’t know?! Seriously? Fuck you. Two can play that game! Put Alex on the phone!” Okay, he wouldn’t actually do anything, would never tell Alex Kes loves you, but it’s satisfying, the way Kes chokes, and at least if he talks to Alex, he won’t feel a murderous rage that distracts him from getting answers.
“Alex isn’t here! And fine, fine, I’ll tell you! Don’t talk to Alex!”
“Tell me. Right the fuck now.”
“Lappy’s in love with you.”
“Yeah, he just told me,” Kevin says, thinks of Maxim’s frantic hurt. “Right in the middle of how I am the worst fucking person on Earth and a filthy fucking no good liar and he never wants to see me again.”
“Did he really say that?” Kes asks. Kevin exhales slowly. Maxim didn’t, not word for word, but he may have, because that’s what Kevin is.
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember anything he said other than the part about him being in love with me. But he was pretty fucking pissed off, Kes!” And then - then it hits him, Maxim is in love with him. “Wait. He said he’s in love with me.”
“Sounds like it. Also, he is.”
Kevin sighs angrily, still wants to hurt Kes for making this into a dramatic mess and hurting his Maxim, but maybe - maybe this will turn out okay. “You might survive this.” He hangs up, grabs his keys, and runs out the door.
He needs Maxim to tell him more, he’s going to hear Maxim this time, and - and if Maxim really does think all those things, about how Kevin’s terrible and unforgivable, well - Kevin’s going to kill Kes. At least twice. Because fuck him, for fucking with the most important thing in Kevin’s life.
His heart’s racing by the time he finally gets to Maxim’s front door, knocks. There’s no answer. “Maxi, it’s me,” he calls out.
“I know,” he hears, and it breaks his heart, because Maxim sounds so hurt, so angry.
“Let me in, please.” There’s no response. “I’ll let myself in,” he calls, already finding the key on the ring. No answer, but it’s not a no, either. He unlocks the door, slips inside. He finds Maxim on the couch in the living room, face buried in his hands like he’s trying to hide how he’s crying. Kevin made him cry, oh, God, he wants to die, his poor Maxim. He goes over, kneels down beside Maxim, strokes his back gently.
“I’m so sorry I lied,” he says quietly, “can’t you forgive me?”
“That’s not it,” Maxim says, this broken little voice that hurts.
“So you can’t?” He just - just couldn’t handle that, couldn’t, because Maxim - oh, Maxim is everything to him.
“You only lie to me cos you don’t wanna see me,” Maxim mumbles.
“You didn’t even give me a chance to tell you why I lied,” he says, this last thing he has.
“You tell me you have dates, so you don’t have to see me,” Maxim says, this strangled voice, but the thought is so fucking absurd and wrong that Kevin laughs. “And I go crying to Alex because I’m so pathetic and miss you so much while you’re lying so you don’t have to see me,” Maxim says, tearful and so hurt.
“You’re smarter than that,” Kevin insists, “you have to know that I want to be with you every minute of every day and night.” He has to, because this, wanting Maxim like this, it’s so ingrained in who Kevin is that he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t love Maxim.
“It does not look that way,” Maxim growls out, but then he’s dissolving into sobs, shoulder’s shaking under Kevin’s touch.
“I lied because guys were trying to set me up on dates. So every so often, I have to act like I have a date on my own, so they will leave me alone. That’s the real reason. And Kes knows. You can ask him.” Assuming Kes is alive to ask, because the way Maxim’s sobbing, Kevin wants to murder Kes for putting them in this painful situation.
“You tell Kes and not me?” Maxim asks faintly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.”
“Why don’t you tell me the truth?”
“If I told you,” Kevin says helplessly, “then you might want to know why I don’t want anyone to set me up on dates! And I didn’t want you to ask.”
“Why not?” Maxim sounds hurt again, this mention of another thing Kevin keeps from him. He does that for himself, though, because it would hurt to hear so surely that Maxim doesn’t want him the same way, but all that doesn’t matter now, because if this will be what stops Maxim from hurting, Kevin will give it to him, will give anything to him for that.
“Because I don’t want to go out with anyone but you, obviously. And I thought you wouldn’t like that. I thought that would make things awkward between us. But now it seems like it wouldn’t, because you’re in love with me. Or,” he forces himself to add, this horrible, painful truth, “you were in love with me before Kesler told you I’m a liar. I still might kill him for that. Unless you forgive me. And go out with me. Then I would grant Kes a stay of execution.” Maxim is wiping the heel of his hand over his eyes, sniffling. “So what do you say, Maxi? A man’s life is in your hands. And true, it’s just Kesler, and he’s probably not worth much. But my life is in your hands too. And it has been for a long time.” He wishes this was a sure thing, that there wasn’t this terrifying moment of waiting, but he deserves that, for the way Maxim cried.
“Yes,” Maxim says, looks at him the way Kevin always wanted him to, “yes, oui, oui, I forgiving you, please, yes, I love you.” Kevin pulls him close, hugs him tight.
“I won’t ever lie to you again,” he promises, lives for the happy little sigh this gets him. “Will you be mine? I love you, Maxi.”
Maxim kisses him in answer, gentle and slow, like he’s been waiting for this and wants to fully possess this as his own, kiss Kevin so he knows who he belongs to, knows that Maxim’s his and always has been. And maybe, everything’s always said that, every move they’ve ever made has been towards each other, because after Kevin’s kissed him, after Maxim’s come apart moaning Kevin’s name and Kevin’s collapsed beside him, it feels like they’ve finally come to this place that was waiting for them. This, being here together, this is where they were always supposed to end up, together.