Fic: Once And Again (5/5)
Final part! WOOO!
Ryan’s still thinking about it at one thirty AM. I just told him, Kevin had said, and Ryan can’t believe it, how terrifying it would be, how happy Kevin is now. His mind keeps glossing over the risk, and keeps replaying how Kevin lit up when he talked about how he’s been with Maxim for a year.
He knows, he’s positive, that if he waits until morning, he’ll remember every one of the reasons he hasn’t told Alex. He’ll remember how scared he is, how he’ll lose Alex more likely than not, how things will never be the same. He knows that, so the fact that he’s knocking on Alex’s door at nearly two in the morning is the only thing that makes sense right now.
Alex opens the door, and stares at him. “It’s two,” he says, but he lets Ryan in because he always does.
“Kevin told me he’s with Maxim,” Ryan says abruptly, and Alex kind of freezes.
“And?”
“And, uh.” His plan is starting to unravel, because looking at Alex like this, just roused from sleep and looking at him in confusion, he can’t imagine actually having Alex, actually being with him, it doesn’t seem like something that could ever happen. Unlikely or not, he’s still here. “I broke up with Émilie,” he adds, kind of an afterthought, more of a diversion.
“Me and Emmy too.”
“Oh.” Ryan crosses his arms over his chest, tries to think of a way to go on. “Um.” He can’t get past this moment, though, Alex right in front of him, it’s like all his thoughts have just stopped.
“Why?” Alex asks.
“Because, um.” Ryan gives up on words, just says, “this.” He leans in and kisses Alex, swift and apologetic. When he risks a look at Alex’s face, Alex is grinning, like he can’t believe that could even happen once, like he wants it to happen again.
“Quelle coincidence,” he says, and it finally feels right, because Ryan’s hearing this familiar French from Alex. “That’s why I did it, too.”
He yanks Ryan closer and kisses him again, more surely this time, no longer apologetic, just grateful, just amazement.
0o0o0o0o0o
“What the fucking fuck.”
Alex arches an eyebrow at this, looks at Ryan quizzically.
“Never heard that before at a wedding,” he says. Ryan growls, glaring at someone a few tables away.
“Look over there and tell me who you see,” he says. Alex looks.
“Uh… Emmy?” He spotted her a while back, but didn’t particularly care. Ryan in a suit is too distracting.
“That fucker!” Ryan shoves his chair back, stalks off towards the dance floor. Alex trails after him, trying to figure out what he’s getting at.
“What’re you gonna do?” he asks, catching up.
“I’m gonna find the groom, and fucking kill him.”
“Okay, definitely not a good idea.” Alex grabs Ryan’s elbow, pulls him to a stop. “So what, Emmy’s here.”
“That,” Ryan nods in her direction, “is not Emmy.”
“Um. I dated her a year ago, I don’t think I’d forget that fast.”
“To me, that’s Émilie. And everyone else here is calling her Emily!”
“Oh-oh. Okay, let’s kill him.”
“Who?” Maxim wanders over; his tie has been loosened, and his jacket’s unbuttoned, and the grin on his face makes it hard to snap at him.
“Oh, no one,” Ryan says easily, “just your husband. Don’t worry about it.”
“I see,” Maxim nods, “what’d he do?”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, we just figured out that we dated the same girl, under different names, and that she happens to be here,” Ryan says, and Maxim gets an obviously guilty look on his face.
“You should definitely talk to Kevin for that one,” he says, already backing up, “I’ll catch you later!” he disappears before they can grab him back.
“Oh, he was so in on it,” Ryan rolls his eyes, before grabbing Alex by the hand and towing him towards the dance floor. Kevin’s showing off his still-terrible dancing skills, and when he catches Ryan’s eye, waves at them. “Get over here!” Ryan demands. Kevin grins, comes.
“You look cheery,” he says, with a smile that matches Maxim’s.
“I find it suspicious that the girl we both dated- with different names- knows you,” Ryan says. Kevin grins sheepishly.
“Oh, did I forget to tell you? Ah, right…”
“Juice,” Alex glowers at him.
“I figured that if you both dated someone that acted exactly like the person you were actually in love with, you’d realise it and date each other!” Kevin spreads his arms as if to indicate the amazingness of his plan. “It just didn’t work, but it was a great plan.”
“You could have told us a year ago!” Ryan exclaims.
“You played us,” Alex realises, “when you guys told us- it was to make us tell each other!”
“Maybe,” Kevin allows, grinning. “You can’t be mad though, because it worked.”
Ryan huffs out a breath, glares at Kevin. “The only reason I’m not hitting you is because I don’t wanna ruin your wedding pictures,” he says, and stalks away in the direction of their table.
“I’d kill you if it didn’t work,” he says, and Kevin just laughs.
“Face it, I’m a genius,” he says, “although, technically, the part that actually worked was Max’s idea.”
“So he’s the genius, not you.”
“Technically.”
“Actually.”
“I suppose,” Kevin grins, “speaking of him, though. I married him!” he’s been having revelations like this since they announced their engagement, and the only thing that could match it is the way Maxim looks at Kevin with a smile that says he’s amazed the world could work out like this.
“I noticed,” Alex says, “Kind of why we’re all here, you know?”
“Very funny.”
“Hey,” Maxim walks up, tears his gaze away from Kevin for a moment to look at Alex, “Kes wants you.”
“I think we’re all aware of that,” Kevin says, grinning slyly. Alex flips him off, and Kevin just laughs. “Well, you go get to that,” Kevin says. As soon as Alex has left, Kevin’s grabbed Maxim and is kissing him, both so giddy in their happiness that Alex can’t help but smile.
He finds Ryan back at their table, waiting for him. “I’m proud of you,” Alex says, smirking, “for not committing murder.”
“I do my best,” Ryan says, grins lazily, but Alex catches the edge of nervousness. “C’mon, I wanna see what the rest of this place looks like.” The ceremony took place in the front yard of the mansion-like venue, the reception in the back, among trees and trailing flowers, and it’s an uncommonly sunny day, even for summer. Alex follows Ryan down one of the paths, farther from all the people.
“Can you believe they’re actually married?” Ryan says, looking over at him. That weirdly out of place nervousness is still there.
“Crazy,” Alex agrees, “they’re so happy, you know? It couldn’t be more obvious.”
“Mmhmm.” Ryan slows on the path, looks up at the slender trees around them. “Really happy.”
“So, whenever you want to tell me why you’re freaking out,” Alex adds, and Ryan scowls at him.
“I’m not that transparent.”
“Except yes.”
Ryan shakes his head, that smile on his face he has whenever Alex screws up his English. “I love that,” he says, “you, and just, the way your English is so bad sometimes, and you don’t care. You do that with everything, you know?
“Suck at it?” Alex grins.
“No, I mean, like. You don’t care what other people think. It’s just, one of those things. That I really love about you.”
Alex doesn’t know what to say, wants to kiss Ryan and never let him go, but Ryan’s stepping back from him.
“So, um, I’ve been carrying this around every day for the past, uh, month, and I just- should- do it-” he looks so nervous, eyes filled with anxiety, and then he’s on one knee on the path, pulling a box out of his pocket. He fumbles it, snapping his finger in it when he tries to open the top. After another try, he takes out a simple ring. “Will you, um. Marry me?”
Alex can’t find the words, can’t at all, just drops to his knees and kisses Ryan hard. “Oui, bien sûr, je t’aime, je t’aime,” he can barely string words together, and all he can really understand is Ryan’s brilliant smile, Ryan’s arms around him. This is what it feels like, Alex realises, that radiating happiness they’d seen in Kevin and Maxim, this is what it feels like. It makes everything he’s been through worth it, makes every painful moment something to be grateful for, simply because it was part of the path that led him here, to somewhere where the most amazing thing in his life, just being with Ryan, has happened, happens every day.
“I guess we’re lucky Kevin decided to interfere with his plan, eh?” Ryan says, and Alex just laughs.
“Ouais,” Alex says, “very, very lucky.”
Ryan’s still thinking about it at one thirty AM. I just told him, Kevin had said, and Ryan can’t believe it, how terrifying it would be, how happy Kevin is now. His mind keeps glossing over the risk, and keeps replaying how Kevin lit up when he talked about how he’s been with Maxim for a year.
He knows, he’s positive, that if he waits until morning, he’ll remember every one of the reasons he hasn’t told Alex. He’ll remember how scared he is, how he’ll lose Alex more likely than not, how things will never be the same. He knows that, so the fact that he’s knocking on Alex’s door at nearly two in the morning is the only thing that makes sense right now.
Alex opens the door, and stares at him. “It’s two,” he says, but he lets Ryan in because he always does.
“Kevin told me he’s with Maxim,” Ryan says abruptly, and Alex kind of freezes.
“And?”
“And, uh.” His plan is starting to unravel, because looking at Alex like this, just roused from sleep and looking at him in confusion, he can’t imagine actually having Alex, actually being with him, it doesn’t seem like something that could ever happen. Unlikely or not, he’s still here. “I broke up with Émilie,” he adds, kind of an afterthought, more of a diversion.
“Me and Emmy too.”
“Oh.” Ryan crosses his arms over his chest, tries to think of a way to go on. “Um.” He can’t get past this moment, though, Alex right in front of him, it’s like all his thoughts have just stopped.
“Why?” Alex asks.
“Because, um.” Ryan gives up on words, just says, “this.” He leans in and kisses Alex, swift and apologetic. When he risks a look at Alex’s face, Alex is grinning, like he can’t believe that could even happen once, like he wants it to happen again.
“Quelle coincidence,” he says, and it finally feels right, because Ryan’s hearing this familiar French from Alex. “That’s why I did it, too.”
He yanks Ryan closer and kisses him again, more surely this time, no longer apologetic, just grateful, just amazement.
0o0o0o0o0o
“What the fucking fuck.”
Alex arches an eyebrow at this, looks at Ryan quizzically.
“Never heard that before at a wedding,” he says. Ryan growls, glaring at someone a few tables away.
“Look over there and tell me who you see,” he says. Alex looks.
“Uh… Emmy?” He spotted her a while back, but didn’t particularly care. Ryan in a suit is too distracting.
“That fucker!” Ryan shoves his chair back, stalks off towards the dance floor. Alex trails after him, trying to figure out what he’s getting at.
“What’re you gonna do?” he asks, catching up.
“I’m gonna find the groom, and fucking kill him.”
“Okay, definitely not a good idea.” Alex grabs Ryan’s elbow, pulls him to a stop. “So what, Emmy’s here.”
“That,” Ryan nods in her direction, “is not Emmy.”
“Um. I dated her a year ago, I don’t think I’d forget that fast.”
“To me, that’s Émilie. And everyone else here is calling her Emily!”
“Oh-oh. Okay, let’s kill him.”
“Who?” Maxim wanders over; his tie has been loosened, and his jacket’s unbuttoned, and the grin on his face makes it hard to snap at him.
“Oh, no one,” Ryan says easily, “just your husband. Don’t worry about it.”
“I see,” Maxim nods, “what’d he do?”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, we just figured out that we dated the same girl, under different names, and that she happens to be here,” Ryan says, and Maxim gets an obviously guilty look on his face.
“You should definitely talk to Kevin for that one,” he says, already backing up, “I’ll catch you later!” he disappears before they can grab him back.
“Oh, he was so in on it,” Ryan rolls his eyes, before grabbing Alex by the hand and towing him towards the dance floor. Kevin’s showing off his still-terrible dancing skills, and when he catches Ryan’s eye, waves at them. “Get over here!” Ryan demands. Kevin grins, comes.
“You look cheery,” he says, with a smile that matches Maxim’s.
“I find it suspicious that the girl we both dated- with different names- knows you,” Ryan says. Kevin grins sheepishly.
“Oh, did I forget to tell you? Ah, right…”
“Juice,” Alex glowers at him.
“I figured that if you both dated someone that acted exactly like the person you were actually in love with, you’d realise it and date each other!” Kevin spreads his arms as if to indicate the amazingness of his plan. “It just didn’t work, but it was a great plan.”
“You could have told us a year ago!” Ryan exclaims.
“You played us,” Alex realises, “when you guys told us- it was to make us tell each other!”
“Maybe,” Kevin allows, grinning. “You can’t be mad though, because it worked.”
Ryan huffs out a breath, glares at Kevin. “The only reason I’m not hitting you is because I don’t wanna ruin your wedding pictures,” he says, and stalks away in the direction of their table.
“I’d kill you if it didn’t work,” he says, and Kevin just laughs.
“Face it, I’m a genius,” he says, “although, technically, the part that actually worked was Max’s idea.”
“So he’s the genius, not you.”
“Technically.”
“Actually.”
“I suppose,” Kevin grins, “speaking of him, though. I married him!” he’s been having revelations like this since they announced their engagement, and the only thing that could match it is the way Maxim looks at Kevin with a smile that says he’s amazed the world could work out like this.
“I noticed,” Alex says, “Kind of why we’re all here, you know?”
“Very funny.”
“Hey,” Maxim walks up, tears his gaze away from Kevin for a moment to look at Alex, “Kes wants you.”
“I think we’re all aware of that,” Kevin says, grinning slyly. Alex flips him off, and Kevin just laughs. “Well, you go get to that,” Kevin says. As soon as Alex has left, Kevin’s grabbed Maxim and is kissing him, both so giddy in their happiness that Alex can’t help but smile.
He finds Ryan back at their table, waiting for him. “I’m proud of you,” Alex says, smirking, “for not committing murder.”
“I do my best,” Ryan says, grins lazily, but Alex catches the edge of nervousness. “C’mon, I wanna see what the rest of this place looks like.” The ceremony took place in the front yard of the mansion-like venue, the reception in the back, among trees and trailing flowers, and it’s an uncommonly sunny day, even for summer. Alex follows Ryan down one of the paths, farther from all the people.
“Can you believe they’re actually married?” Ryan says, looking over at him. That weirdly out of place nervousness is still there.
“Crazy,” Alex agrees, “they’re so happy, you know? It couldn’t be more obvious.”
“Mmhmm.” Ryan slows on the path, looks up at the slender trees around them. “Really happy.”
“So, whenever you want to tell me why you’re freaking out,” Alex adds, and Ryan scowls at him.
“I’m not that transparent.”
“Except yes.”
Ryan shakes his head, that smile on his face he has whenever Alex screws up his English. “I love that,” he says, “you, and just, the way your English is so bad sometimes, and you don’t care. You do that with everything, you know?
“Suck at it?” Alex grins.
“No, I mean, like. You don’t care what other people think. It’s just, one of those things. That I really love about you.”
Alex doesn’t know what to say, wants to kiss Ryan and never let him go, but Ryan’s stepping back from him.
“So, um, I’ve been carrying this around every day for the past, uh, month, and I just- should- do it-” he looks so nervous, eyes filled with anxiety, and then he’s on one knee on the path, pulling a box out of his pocket. He fumbles it, snapping his finger in it when he tries to open the top. After another try, he takes out a simple ring. “Will you, um. Marry me?”
Alex can’t find the words, can’t at all, just drops to his knees and kisses Ryan hard. “Oui, bien sûr, je t’aime, je t’aime,” he can barely string words together, and all he can really understand is Ryan’s brilliant smile, Ryan’s arms around him. This is what it feels like, Alex realises, that radiating happiness they’d seen in Kevin and Maxim, this is what it feels like. It makes everything he’s been through worth it, makes every painful moment something to be grateful for, simply because it was part of the path that led him here, to somewhere where the most amazing thing in his life, just being with Ryan, has happened, happens every day.
“I guess we’re lucky Kevin decided to interfere with his plan, eh?” Ryan says, and Alex just laughs.
“Ouais,” Alex says, “very, very lucky.”