Disinformation

[icaruslived]

They told me I was magik when I was ten.

Do you know what that does to a person - a child of that age? I had a life, already - an ordinary life, with friends and enemies and schoolwork and bullies, with Anna and Susan and Dad and my slowly growing awareness that most people had a Mom as well. I had my little things I cared about - I loved

Comments

[kickthehobbit]

I had a life, already - an ordinary life, with friends and enemies and schoolwork and bullies, with Anna and Susan and Dad and my slowly growing awareness that most people had a Mom as well.

I already told you, but oh, God, that line just slew me.

This is wonderful and reminds me of lrig_rorrim, in a good way! :)

[icaruslived]

That's a hiigh comparison, and I continue to hope I am worthy of it!

[adoptedwriter]

What Kickthehobbit said, and that other line about how they did not teach about butterflies. Very nice. Good pacing. AW

[icaruslived]

Thank you for enjoying it!

[halfshellvenus]

I liked the last line here, especially after the darkness of what this girl had unwittingly been turned toward-- along with so many others of power.

[icaruslived]

Her story always had to end on a positive note, for she would never be able to reminisce in this way otherwise :p

[cheshire23]

I like how Anna and Susan, despite being "normal", are clearly so intelligent and important here.

[icaruslived]

Of course they are! Power and capability comes in many, many forms, after all.

[whipchick]

This is really gripping - I like the clear, sharp beginnings and endings of each section.

I wonder if it's worth tightening up the opening just a little bit? I admit, I started comparing Harry Potter, and then it was so cool that it changed directions. I wonder if there's a way to still get that beautiful shift but slightly lessen the chance for comparison?

The stages of her life and the level of her understanding show so clearly in the voice of each section. Nice work!

[icaruslived]

The Harry Potter echoing is pretttty deliberate - my earlier drafts had Mrs. Frazer named "McGregor", actually. I've always found so much of its world and background assumptions of politics kinda odd/weird/gross, so I'm happy to make quiet little allusions to it :p

Thank you so much!