TWO!!!

[icanhazfreedom]

Alright, the first attempt went badly. I think I might have a broken rib or two... But that's okay! Bruises mean nothing

Comments

[apotheosise]

What alien conspiracies?

[icanhazfreedom]

Well, I don't think there are any alien conspiracies right now, especially because the aliens I've met are pretty nice.

[apotheosise]

That's amazing! You've met aliens?

[icanhazfreedom]

Yeah! It was awesome!

[foustanella]

Alfred...

[icanhazfreedom]

It's okay, Heracles! This is just a temporary setback!

[foustanella]

They'll kill us if you keep doing this kind of thing.

[icanhazfreedom]

I'd protect you from any of that. Besides, as the hero, wouldn't I be the target?

[larandorder]

I think you broke than just a few ribs.

[icanhazfreedom]

What do you mean?

[larandorder]

Did you get knocked over the head during your escapades?

[icanhazfreedom]

Well, I did get a black eye...

[blood_ofthe_sun]

What did you try this time Alfred-san?

You're not in pain are you?

[icanhazfreedom]

Well, someone said that there was bad stuff happening, so I wanted to help, but the guards caught me when I was trying to get out...

It barely hurts at all! Don't worry!

[blood_ofthe_sun]

I wonder sometimes if it hurts us more to see you hurt.

Bad stuff?

[icanhazfreedom]

Well, have you noticed how the sky looks kinda weird? He said it might be a government conspiracy! Or worse yet, terrorists! Or both!

[picklesplz]

.
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...okaaaay.

[icanhazfreedom]

What? Someone has to be the hero!

[picklesplz]

Martyr is the word you're looking for, I think.

[icanhazfreedom]

No, hero! The best heroes always survive!