[story] june mermaids (or: a letter of business concerning an ill-advised love affair)

[ib_archive]

author: pei yi
email: dreamsmoke [at] gmail.com

Comments

[lanerose]

This was really well-written and quite enjoyable! I definitely thought Philippa was male at first because of the droll almost androgony you gave her as a voice, but discovering she was female didn't distract me too much from the story. I also really liked the ending. ^_^

[lacewood]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! XD

[thornsmoke]

I think the male tone was sealed for me by the men's suit and the fact that she wore a heavy overcoat when she could have worn a dress, but otherwise this was lovely. :) I like the selective details - the way Phillipa merely says that she removed the guard. It reads like a letter the way many epistolary novels don't.

Although -- did you really mean to say that the "merboy's tail trashed the water"?

[lacewood]

Philippa dresses as a male and a female interchangeably, depending on whichever seems most convenient at the time, hence the clothes. XD;;

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! If I'd REALLY wanted this to read like a genuine letter there would have been no dialogue at all, but I am... not quite hardcore enough for that yet, it seems.

And huh, I thought the sentence was okay in my head but... apparently not. Thanks for the heads up! *tweaks it*

[bratfarrar]

Much fun--I love how off-hand Phillipa is about everything, and the world-building bits and pieces ground the story nicely. Also, it made me very happy that Clarisse didn't do anything stupid.

[lacewood]

Thanks for the comment! And ha, I saw no reason why Clarisse should be dumb, even if she's the supposed wide-eyed ingenue XD;

[fannyt]

Strolling through the IB archives I found this little gem! Lovely piece -- the grumpiness of the narrator was adorable. Was interested to realise I'd assumed Philippa was male until it was proven otherwise. Will reflect on why this was so. (Probably just me being stereotypical; bad me. No cookies for me tonight.)

I loved the descriptions of the witch -- very unwitchlike while still very obviously a witch, if that makes any kind of sense.

Thank you for a great story! &hearts

[lacewood]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! :)