[story] another day at the office
author: anya (anyagee)
e-mail: morganlefay6 [ at ] gmail dot com
When you run an agency as a problem solver it's better to be boring, which our headquarters mostly is. It's a small office with apartments above it on a nice quiet sidestreet. I think most people assume we are somewhere between handymen and tech consultants.
As far as we're concerned all the right people know who we are - we have enough income from referrals that advertising isn't necessary. Every now and then, though, the interesting cases find you. For instance, our current client was sitting nervously in front of my desk folding a piece of paper with our address written on it. He was detailing a blackmailing plot that involved a major newspaper, a technology corporation, and a local branch of the mafia. Jamie was standing behind him, ignoring the client and using sign language to gossip with Chester.
"Think the rumors are true?" At the moment Jamie looked like a young woman, the vibrant red streaks in her hair clashing with her olive complexion.
"Really? You think they are sleeping together? Come on. It's all for TV". Chester rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Oh but they would look so good together!" Jamie flailed her hands around and did a little dance to prove her point.
I glared at them and tried to focus on the client. So far so boring. I wasn't exactly sure what the previous PI's methods had been and I doubted the connection to the mafia and the tech company were directly related to our client. The CEO of the paper owned other companies and, if rumors from competing papers were true, they also funded some less legal trade.
"So, what this comes down to is you need us to break into the office of Bryce Sinclair and destroy the contents of his safe? I assume that is what you are getting around to. Since the previous investigator stopped at confirming the source of the blackmail and wasn't willing to get involved any further?"
"I... er..." The paper got twisted up a bit more.
"Oh, don't worry." Jamie waved a hand dramatically "It's what we do and that's why you are here. It's so much easier when you get to the point quickly."
Our client still looked uncomfortable.
"You know we are discreet. None of this will be tied to you. There's just the matter of payment and then you can leave us to get to work on your commission." After reassuring our client and setting up the secure payment we got to work on the fun part: Planning the break-in for one very secure corporate office.
Chester had the schematics to the Sinclair offices open on the display screen and was poking at the 3D wire frame model adding in security data. Chester was our pet techo-mage. (Jamie's terminology, not mine or, more emphatically, not Chester's.) After several degrees, multiple office jobs, and one near conviction for hacking he decided to look for alternative sources of income. He had finally settled on working with us even if it meant a higher chance of his next conviction actually sticking.
Jamie had done some research in the social pages and found out that there was going to be a charity ball at the offices next week, to which she was currently trying to procure tickets. Jamie, somewhere in the family tree, was related to a trickster god. This manifested itself in subtle little things. Always being just a bit lucky, tending to be in the right place at the right time (or just leaving as the police arrived). This probably explained why we got to do break-ins under the cover of fancy parties so often.
"The ball is going to have an Edwardian dinner party theme. If that's a party theme?" Jamie paused, pursed her lips "Or it's going to be an Edwardian dinner party with a charity ball. That's better."
"Oh, good. At least it's not Victorian. I look terrible in hoop skirts."
Chester looked up from his computer. "How the hell do you know... oh right. I don't work with normal people. I work with a demi-god and a historian."
"You'd look terrible if your skirt was as wide as you were tall." I leaned over the desk to look at the invitations on Jamie's laptop. "I love the early 20th century, but that was a ridiculous fashion."
"So you got to visit the Victorians?" Jamie started looking up contacts that could tell us who was doing the catering.
"Just to London. I didn't get involved in the history of that particular bit of time, but there was a Christmas trip once and I went on that."
"Cool! I guess if you go anywhere for Christmas you might as well get the full Dickens."
"The goose was quite nice, but we can do that in this time. The 1920's had quite good parties. That's better if you can wrangle a trip for fun. The Edwardians had good food, also, so it's worth it on that count as well. "
" However, I'll pass on the Edwardian corsets as far as fancy dress goes." I looked up and Jamie had changed from looking like a young woman to looking like a young man. "Did Edwardians go for facial hair?" Jamie stroked his chin. (Jamie could also change appearances. It wasn't quite shape shifting, but it was enough to fool facial recognition cameras and police line ups.)
"Er. If you want a mustache go for it, but you should leave off the mutton chops."
"I'm being left out of your dress up plans I hope."
"Don't worry Chester; you can be schlepy in the tech van as usual." I made a face at him.
"I think I shall feel very dashing in a top hat!" Jamie stood up and made a flourishing bow while I grinned in his direction.
"Blegh." Chester stuck his tongue out at us.
"Oh, you have no romantic soul." Jamie took my hand and kissed it.
"I'm not sure he has a soul at all." I kissed Jamie back in disregard of Chester's unromantic spirit. "How goes the search for tickets or catering contacts?"
"We are well in for tickets. It's the standard, give money get in. None of this nonsense about being a member of good society like the Opera Fiasco. As far as catering goes, Hanna says it's Chef Bruno's restaurant doing the catering."
"YES." Both Chester and I were excited to hear that. Chef Bruno was one of the best in the city. One of the perks of the job was we never had to book six months in advance to get a table at his restaurant. We could just crash various high society parties and make off with the art and the hors d'oeuvres.
"Hanna's working it so she can get us in the back if we need to."
"You'd think people would do security checks on the catering staff more often." Chester had finished with his wire diagram and expanded it to fill the screen. "I think the break in should be easy. The safe is one you cracked last year." He gestured to Jamie "A Bruker 500 series."
"Easy. He should replace that. We're doing our mark a favor."
"We could do the 'Why I didn't know this was off limits!' act to get to the office, but it's about 100 floors up. I suppose someone could be bladdered enough to hit the wrong button on the elevator, but you need a pass key. It will take too much time to get one off a guard. I think the easiest way will be to rappel up." Chester expanded the diagram to show the side of the building we'd have to scale.
"Doesn't look too bad." I leaned back in my chair "Nice that his office is off the street and on the river side. Shouldn't get too many people watching."
"There's the usual security measures, IR beams, cameras, pressure pads, but they are all linked to the main security system, so I can take care of those if you two can get in and up." Chester closed the computer program, skipping giving us a lecture on security measures that would put us to sleep.
"Guess I have to go buy dress shoes then."
After a shopping trip for Jamie's shoes, a new pair of gloves for me, and a week of Chester swearing inventively while hacking the security system, we were ready for the party.
We met Hanna by the bar where we traded empty champagne glasses for the location of the catering changing room and the time of the main dinner clean up. I would be easier to get in the back without being spotted by staff when everyone was running around trying to clean up and steal unused bottles of wine.
When we finally escaped from the party it was my turn to use creative swearing as I tried to get out of a dinner gown in less than 5 minutes.
"So why did we think historical accuracy in clothing was good for this?" Jamie commented while working on undoing my corset
"I already had the dress and where else am I going to get to wear it? Aahh" Jamie had gotten most of the laces loose. "You've gone girl again."
"Flexibility is easier as a girl, well for me anyway." Jamie waggled her eyebrows at me and pulled on her jump suit. Chester had shown a talent for tailoring as well as technology. The suits would keep us warm in the high winds on the side of the tower and also help him hide us from security measures.
We made it out on the side of the building and started up to the office. I paused, propping myself on the glass window of an office and looked out over the river. I could still see the boats and hear some of the traffic from below us. The rest of the city was lit up and air cars swooped between the spires and towers.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
"We so have the best job ever." Jamie said leaning over to give me a kiss.
the end
e-mail: morganlefay6 [ at ] gmail dot com
When you run an agency as a problem solver it's better to be boring, which our headquarters mostly is. It's a small office with apartments above it on a nice quiet sidestreet. I think most people assume we are somewhere between handymen and tech consultants.
As far as we're concerned all the right people know who we are - we have enough income from referrals that advertising isn't necessary. Every now and then, though, the interesting cases find you. For instance, our current client was sitting nervously in front of my desk folding a piece of paper with our address written on it. He was detailing a blackmailing plot that involved a major newspaper, a technology corporation, and a local branch of the mafia. Jamie was standing behind him, ignoring the client and using sign language to gossip with Chester.
"Think the rumors are true?" At the moment Jamie looked like a young woman, the vibrant red streaks in her hair clashing with her olive complexion.
"Really? You think they are sleeping together? Come on. It's all for TV". Chester rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Oh but they would look so good together!" Jamie flailed her hands around and did a little dance to prove her point.
I glared at them and tried to focus on the client. So far so boring. I wasn't exactly sure what the previous PI's methods had been and I doubted the connection to the mafia and the tech company were directly related to our client. The CEO of the paper owned other companies and, if rumors from competing papers were true, they also funded some less legal trade.
"So, what this comes down to is you need us to break into the office of Bryce Sinclair and destroy the contents of his safe? I assume that is what you are getting around to. Since the previous investigator stopped at confirming the source of the blackmail and wasn't willing to get involved any further?"
"I... er..." The paper got twisted up a bit more.
"Oh, don't worry." Jamie waved a hand dramatically "It's what we do and that's why you are here. It's so much easier when you get to the point quickly."
Our client still looked uncomfortable.
"You know we are discreet. None of this will be tied to you. There's just the matter of payment and then you can leave us to get to work on your commission." After reassuring our client and setting up the secure payment we got to work on the fun part: Planning the break-in for one very secure corporate office.
Chester had the schematics to the Sinclair offices open on the display screen and was poking at the 3D wire frame model adding in security data. Chester was our pet techo-mage. (Jamie's terminology, not mine or, more emphatically, not Chester's.) After several degrees, multiple office jobs, and one near conviction for hacking he decided to look for alternative sources of income. He had finally settled on working with us even if it meant a higher chance of his next conviction actually sticking.
Jamie had done some research in the social pages and found out that there was going to be a charity ball at the offices next week, to which she was currently trying to procure tickets. Jamie, somewhere in the family tree, was related to a trickster god. This manifested itself in subtle little things. Always being just a bit lucky, tending to be in the right place at the right time (or just leaving as the police arrived). This probably explained why we got to do break-ins under the cover of fancy parties so often.
"The ball is going to have an Edwardian dinner party theme. If that's a party theme?" Jamie paused, pursed her lips "Or it's going to be an Edwardian dinner party with a charity ball. That's better."
"Oh, good. At least it's not Victorian. I look terrible in hoop skirts."
Chester looked up from his computer. "How the hell do you know... oh right. I don't work with normal people. I work with a demi-god and a historian."
"You'd look terrible if your skirt was as wide as you were tall." I leaned over the desk to look at the invitations on Jamie's laptop. "I love the early 20th century, but that was a ridiculous fashion."
"So you got to visit the Victorians?" Jamie started looking up contacts that could tell us who was doing the catering.
"Just to London. I didn't get involved in the history of that particular bit of time, but there was a Christmas trip once and I went on that."
"Cool! I guess if you go anywhere for Christmas you might as well get the full Dickens."
"The goose was quite nice, but we can do that in this time. The 1920's had quite good parties. That's better if you can wrangle a trip for fun. The Edwardians had good food, also, so it's worth it on that count as well. "
" However, I'll pass on the Edwardian corsets as far as fancy dress goes." I looked up and Jamie had changed from looking like a young woman to looking like a young man. "Did Edwardians go for facial hair?" Jamie stroked his chin. (Jamie could also change appearances. It wasn't quite shape shifting, but it was enough to fool facial recognition cameras and police line ups.)
"Er. If you want a mustache go for it, but you should leave off the mutton chops."
"I'm being left out of your dress up plans I hope."
"Don't worry Chester; you can be schlepy in the tech van as usual." I made a face at him.
"I think I shall feel very dashing in a top hat!" Jamie stood up and made a flourishing bow while I grinned in his direction.
"Blegh." Chester stuck his tongue out at us.
"Oh, you have no romantic soul." Jamie took my hand and kissed it.
"I'm not sure he has a soul at all." I kissed Jamie back in disregard of Chester's unromantic spirit. "How goes the search for tickets or catering contacts?"
"We are well in for tickets. It's the standard, give money get in. None of this nonsense about being a member of good society like the Opera Fiasco. As far as catering goes, Hanna says it's Chef Bruno's restaurant doing the catering."
"YES." Both Chester and I were excited to hear that. Chef Bruno was one of the best in the city. One of the perks of the job was we never had to book six months in advance to get a table at his restaurant. We could just crash various high society parties and make off with the art and the hors d'oeuvres.
"Hanna's working it so she can get us in the back if we need to."
"You'd think people would do security checks on the catering staff more often." Chester had finished with his wire diagram and expanded it to fill the screen. "I think the break in should be easy. The safe is one you cracked last year." He gestured to Jamie "A Bruker 500 series."
"Easy. He should replace that. We're doing our mark a favor."
"We could do the 'Why I didn't know this was off limits!' act to get to the office, but it's about 100 floors up. I suppose someone could be bladdered enough to hit the wrong button on the elevator, but you need a pass key. It will take too much time to get one off a guard. I think the easiest way will be to rappel up." Chester expanded the diagram to show the side of the building we'd have to scale.
"Doesn't look too bad." I leaned back in my chair "Nice that his office is off the street and on the river side. Shouldn't get too many people watching."
"There's the usual security measures, IR beams, cameras, pressure pads, but they are all linked to the main security system, so I can take care of those if you two can get in and up." Chester closed the computer program, skipping giving us a lecture on security measures that would put us to sleep.
"Guess I have to go buy dress shoes then."
After a shopping trip for Jamie's shoes, a new pair of gloves for me, and a week of Chester swearing inventively while hacking the security system, we were ready for the party.
We met Hanna by the bar where we traded empty champagne glasses for the location of the catering changing room and the time of the main dinner clean up. I would be easier to get in the back without being spotted by staff when everyone was running around trying to clean up and steal unused bottles of wine.
When we finally escaped from the party it was my turn to use creative swearing as I tried to get out of a dinner gown in less than 5 minutes.
"So why did we think historical accuracy in clothing was good for this?" Jamie commented while working on undoing my corset
"I already had the dress and where else am I going to get to wear it? Aahh" Jamie had gotten most of the laces loose. "You've gone girl again."
"Flexibility is easier as a girl, well for me anyway." Jamie waggled her eyebrows at me and pulled on her jump suit. Chester had shown a talent for tailoring as well as technology. The suits would keep us warm in the high winds on the side of the tower and also help him hide us from security measures.
We made it out on the side of the building and started up to the office. I paused, propping myself on the glass window of an office and looked out over the river. I could still see the boats and hear some of the traffic from below us. The rest of the city was lit up and air cars swooped between the spires and towers.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
"We so have the best job ever." Jamie said leaning over to give me a kiss.
the end