Famous Last Words(MCR inspired Ianthony)
Hi! I am new here, but I've been stalking the community basically since the beginning :P I FINALLY got courage to post here. Concrit is encouraged, since, i talk3d liek dis for half of meh lyfe cuz i thot i waz kewl, and now my grammar is sort of messed up :X Anyway, Hey! I'm Kate, nice to meet ya!
Title: Famous Last Words
Pairings: Ianthony/Kalel/Anthony
Rating/Warnings: PG13 Or even PG I guess
Summary: "I loved you. But the problem is, I don't even know who you are anymore."
Author's Notes: ATTENTION: The way I described Kalel in this story IS NOT how she is in reality. I made her like this only for purposes of the story. And I know it's a little weird/smutty/angsty/song ficcy for my first fic, I just haven't found a place in this world yet.
Previous Chapters: One shot
"It's like that moment when someone leaves and you can't stop them. The pressure, the sweat, the blood, the hidden tears. Silence. Lips sealed, minds awake. All the moments you have, stopped. Nothing more to share. After this, he's gone, my last memory of him will be walking out the door. Leaving. Leaving me. Saying goodbye, forever. That's all. The last word is goodbye. Nothing else. Maybe a phone call or two, but the last real word is goodbye. The last image of him will be the back of his head, as he walks out of my house. Not our house, but my house. It hurts. It always does. Sure, it can get better, but there's still that emptiness. That feeling knowing how much you could have said, how many foolish lies you've told, knowing you can never take time back and re-do it. That shimmer in my eyes will be gone, he will be gone, everything will be gone. And there's nothing I can do to stop that, and that's what kills me."
I watched as Anthony laughed and threw another shirt in his suitcase. That shirt was from middle school. I remembered it. We were going to get icecream and the sun was setting. At school that day, Anthony was bullied hard. 8th grade is hard for any kid, but Ant got the worst of it. Being obsessed with computers and having an "emo" haircut was the hard bullying subject. I had taken him for ice cream to make him feel better.
"Honestly Ian, if it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't be here right now,"
I stopped in my tracks. Anthony was looking into the distance.
"I mean, look at me. You take ME, Anthony "LOSER" Padilla, out for icecream and you're proud of it. How can you like a beast like me?"
"Anthony, you're not a beast. And I don't like you, I love-"
Anthony had cut me off, only to ask what flavor of ice cream I wanted.
"Oh," My lips trembled. "Vanilla."
I watched as Anthony packed more things in his bags. They were just clothes. But every item held a memory.
"Hey, that's the shirt you wore on our first lunchtime!" I smiled and picked up the cotton shirt. "Oh! And that's the shirt you wore on the first day of 7th grade! Remember we said we would wear matching shirts?" I held the blue pokemon shirt to my heart and let out a long breath.
"Uhm, can I have my shirt...?"
I tilted his head at him. He didn't usually act like this.
"Oh yeah sure, I was just yanno, cherishing...stuff" I awkwardly handed Anthony both search and stayed quiet for a while.
After a couple minutes, I almost squealed.
"Anthony look!" Ian snatched up a small blue shirt hidden in the closet. Printed on it was "SMOSH" in funky writing, and right next to it was the smosh symbol. It was our very first smosh shirt. The start of everything. The start of who we are today.
Anthony merely glimpsed at the shirt before continuing stuffing clothes in the suitcase.
"Do you even care?" I asked without thinking. Whoops.
I saw Anthony's lips move, but I couldn't hear anything. How was it all hitting me now? Anthony had asked me if it was okay the other day, I simply nodded and didn't listen. He was moving away. I know soon, when he's comfortable at his girlfriend's house, I'll get the call saying;
"I can't do smosh anymore, sorry."
Ant glanced up at me with a nervous smile. I said nothing, but my mind was a mess. "What ifs?" occupied my brain, making me worry more and more. Stress bubbled in my head, confusion fizzled in my heart. I closed my eyes for a quick seconds. The sadness washed out. But after sadness, there always comes anger.
"I thought we had something,"
I yelled as I dumped Anthonys clothes out of his suitcase. I threw the suitcase against a wall. A picture of Anthony and Kalel fell to the ground.
I covered my mouth in horror when I realized I said my thoughts aloud. The room was silent except my heavy, angered breaths. I considered running out and hiding in my room, but I knew that would not do anything. Instead I stood there with an angry look on my face. It was now or never. Everything else in the room went dark. Only anthony's face stood in the light.
"Now I know, I can't make you stay, but who are you? Where's your heart?"
My fists were now clenched. I realized I was screaming. The look on Anthony's face was pefrified. I had always been the type to let everything slide, the type to only focus on other's happiness. But I was sick of it. It was my time, my moment to tell Anthony that we don't always agree on the same things.
"Answer me."
Anthony stayed silent. My face got redder.
"I said, answer me,"
A tear streamed down Anthony's face. I plunged towards him and grabbed his shirt, and Anthonys breath cut short. I breathed in his hot sweat, pressing my nose against his. I wanted answers. I wanted them now.
I looked into his deep brown eyes, looking for secrets. They were dull now. I remember when they were deep and mysterious. A noise came from the computer desk. It was Anthony's phone.
I rushed over to the desk and picked it up.
"Hey AntAnt! When r u coming???
- Kalel"
"Soon, I just need to get Ian out of the way, haha
-Anthony"
"Ugh, please come soon, I'm ready for you ;)
-Kalel"
"I promise I'm coming soon, Ian's just being emotional about a couple smosh shirts, haha
-Anthony"
"Speaking of Smosh, when are you telling Ian you're quitting so we can spend our life together??!?!??
-Kalel"
"Idk, maybe after we move in together
-Anthony"
"OMG do it now!!1 Get it out of the way!!!!11!!!
-Kalel"
"Okay, in a quick minute
-Anthony"
"Yay! You've been wanting to do this ever since we started datin, congrats! ILY!!!!1
-Kalel"
Everything froze.
My heart stooped beating.
I couldn't think anymore.
The last text.
I looked at Anthony, but he wasn't Anthony anymore. I don't know who he was anymore.
I shakily dropped the phone as steady tears rolled down my face.
"You know what?" I grabbed Anthony's suitcase and put all the clothes back in. I only hid the smosh shirt behind our computer desk without him noticing. I took a deep breath. This was it.
"I loved you. But the problem is, I don't even know who you are anymore." Anthony's face dropped. He wasn't sad or angry or anything, just shocked.
"So, get out. Leave. I don't even care anymore. If you don't want to be apart of this anymore, apart of us, then just leave. I'm not stopping you anymore."
Anthony watched me quietly. He took a quick glance at the smosh shirt behind the table.
"Ian..Ian I'm sorry-"
"Go. Once you wake up from being who you are right now, call me. I'll be there. Goodbye, Anthony."
Anthony stood up and looked into my eyes. "No," He whispered, and then Anthony pushed our lips together.
I tasted his sweat, the salt in his breath, the faint smell of alcohol. His hands were rough as they wrapped around me, lifting my tee shirt. He flicked his tongue inside of my mouth, getting me highly aroused. I melted into the kiss as I slipped Anthony's shirt off. Everything was perfect, almost like a dream. But you have to wake up sometime.
"No." I yelled as I suddenly pushed Anthony away.
Our eyes connected for a second, and for once I thought I saw a bit of sadness in those deep brown eyes.
"Go."
Anthony packed his bags again and left. He waved goodbye, and right before he turned to leave, I whispered;
"Anthony, you're not a beast. And I don't like you, I love you."
For a second, Anthony stopped and smiled, but then he drove off. I sat by the window while eating vanilla icecream.
Honestly, I don't know if he'll be back. He's happy with Kalel, and I guess Smosh has to end at some point. Kalel would never let me visit their house, and she'd probably never even give me the address. But it was okay. I'd find someone right?
I lip synced the lyrics in my head.
"I am not afraid to keep on living"
"I am not afraid to walk this world alone"
"Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven"
"Nothing you can say can stop me from going home"
I fell asleep, repeating the lyrics, until I hear a familiar sounding knock on the door, and the whispered words of "I love you too"