A Fairytale with a Slut? Sporking part deux
A Fairy Tale With A Slut?!
A sporking by I Am the Liquor, whose screenname will be highly applicable after this task
WARNING: possible rape trigger, horribly-written sex, and general possibility of being scarred for life
SPORKER'S NOTE: Quotes from the fic will be in italics. My commentary will be in plain text.
Chapter Three
After 3 months, I finished my drama. I was going to move to Korea. I heard guys are really good in sex,
Yeah, women are just awful at sex. Awful. Don't even get me started on the poor genderqueers/transgendered people.
Honey and her Mom talk about birth control and call each other bitches all the time. I fully support the BC. Heathus knows I don't want this piece of work reproducing.
“Also make sure your sex life doesn’t get founded out ok? We’ll be ruined for sure” we walked down the stairs together
“You think I am that stupid?
Actually, yes. I do.
I got to the air port and took first class to Seoul Korea.
Not to be confused with "airport" and the country of South Korea, apparently a separate land from Seoul Korea. Is that near Narnia? I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA.
“Miss I am here to talk to ____”
(A/N sorry i don't know what the manger produced of Cube Ent. is. so any time you see ___ thats the company manager)
Apparently Google is as foreign a concept to this individual as correct grammar and spelling is.
“Well we will have to see what you got first” he leaned in his chair “Are you ready to audition right now?”
Cos you can just, you know, show up at a major Korean entertainment company and the president himself will audition you. And she didn't even have to grant him sexual favors first! I call shenanigans.
“Yes I am” I took out my CD for the dancing part “I would like to sing first”
“Be my guest” he gestured me
I don't really know how you do that, but it sounds dirty.
“It’s an English song called ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion” i finished singing
Haven't we suffered enough???
“Now would you please sign and look over our Trainee contract” he placed this pile of paper in front of me
There were like 30 pages but I am a real fast reader in Korean, after having 4 years of daily lessons 24/7 I think I am pretty good. I crossed of a few of the guild lines I did not like and replaced them with a reasonable one.
“This one here, it says that I cannot have any such relationship with anyone when I train. Sir you cannot change a person’s feelings. It says ~~~” so many things that I didn’t really like, I was also going to say that it says here that a trainee cannot be sexual active with anyone. But if I did then I would not be able to be a trainee.
“Very well please sign here, here and here”
“Thank you sir, nice doing business with you”
You can do that? No fuss no muss, just change any part of the contract you dislike and the pres'll be cool? This would be news to DBSK and KARA, I think.
I kind of wish this bitch went to SM instead. She'd break after being forced onstage with an IV sticking out her arm during a particularly virulent outbreak of syphilis.
Now that happened, I did not get my daily sex today.
My heart weeps for you.
Looking, Looking, looking
“Oh there is my prey now” I said to myself “Yoseob-ssi”
RUN YOSEOB. RUN. BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
So she gets Yoseob in the elevator and proceeds to molest him. Guys, you know what time it is? IT'S RAPE O'CLOCK!
(Yes, I know the subject matter is extremely unfunny, so I will try to restrict my mocking to the grammar/spelling/language instead of the, you know, rape).
once we got half way to the next floor I press the stop button “What happened?” he held onto the walls as the elevator shaked a bit.
Damn, Honey, you need to go on a diet.
I jumped on him wrapping my legs around his waist. I wasn’t wear any underwear but I surely was wearing a pretty short skirt
And here I was thinking she'd be sporting a chastity belt.
“Ready? Because I am already leaking from you”
Might I suggest Depends?
“If I am going to get raped by you at least let me sit down your getting heavy”
See? Even Yoseob thinks she needs to go on a diet!
He held our body close together as he maybe his way to the ground.
Man, what a decision. To fall to the ground or not.
“I am such a bad person” he lowered his head, but his head few back as he release himself again.
I... can't even make sense of this sentence, and I'm used to hearing k-pop Engrish.
“You not a bad person, this is normal”
NO. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. THIS WOULD BREAK PRISONERS AT GUANTANIMO BAY.
I bend down on my knees and kissed his member then pulled his pants up
... I got nothin'
I hugged him “Do you think of me as a slut because I did that?” I looked up at him
“Mmh will this answer your question” he pecked me and blushed
So Yoseob is an animagus! He can change into a bird!
Can I AK this fic?
Chapter Four
This one was really short and boring. She just goes to SM and gets the president to agree to let her be SHINee and Suju's sugar mommy.
Chapter Five
SHINee’s POV
“WHAT?!” Minho yelled
“Will be living with Honey~, will be living with Honey~” Taemin and Jonghyun danced around while chanting.
Clearly, they have already started to lose their sanity even from their short time in this fanfic.
“No! WHY?!” Both Minho and Key yelled
I have been asking myself the same thing since I started reading this.
Super Junior’s POV
“YEAH! We are moving, we are moving!” Leeteuk and Eunhyuk started to dance
OH GOD IT'S CATCHING.
“THANK YOU HONEY!!!!!” Ryeowook yelled and hugged the little girl in their dorm
What little girl? Where? I hope it's the little girl from the Ring. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL.
OK, so I got a malware warning for the next chapter which I believe was Chrome's way of saving me from myself. So that's all for now, folks. If I feel like self-flagellating any further, you will all be the first to know.