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[iamnikchick]

My mother's called me several times in the last couple of weeks, usually to talk about things like what Kate wanted for her birthday or to check to make sure the package she sent arrived (she was permanently scarred after the UPS store sent my package with my grandmother's ring in it across town). After my grandma's health crisis I convinced her to

Comments

[hackard]

I'm sorry your family is going through this -- ALL of this.

There's nothing wrong, when someone is being destructive and harmful to people you love, in hoping that the situation will change. In this case, there's nothing you can do to change your stepfather, which leads to frustration and dark thoughts, and I think you're just working through your desire for the best for your mother when these pop up. The important thing is that you don't express them to her, or to anyone else who's likely to be hurt by them, and that when she needs you, you're there for her.

We aren't responsible for our stray thoughts. We're responsible for making sure that the worst of them don't dominate our minds or spill over into our actions. Thinking's not a crime.

Take care of yourself, Chris, and Kate to the best of your ability. With whatever love and support you have left over, take care of others in your life who need it. The rest will take care of itself.

[hackard]

Andrew, you're a prince for saying this. Thank you. Your support means a lot. Thank you.

WTF?

[iamnikchick]

Uh. That was me. How embarrassing! :)

[serpentstar]

Hey, I think I would feel just the same way in that situation, except that I wouldn't feel ashamed about feeling that way. ;) If that helps.

Sometimes, frankly, the best you can hope for is that someone like that does die soon, to put himself out of everyone else's misery. If there is a "better place", or a chance at rebirth, or any of that stuff -- maybe he'll be better off too. If there isn't, well, there's no real way you or anyone else can help him out of the complete screw-up he's made of the only life he has.

[josephbrowning]

I think the same way and I am not ashamed either, FWIW.

[doctorcaligari]

That's an awful mental position to be in...

...but alas, not one I am thoroughly unfamiliar with.

And somehow I doubt we're the only ones either.

If that's any comfort at all.

[anyeone]

I don't blame you for any of those feelings. It's hard to feel good things for someone who hurts someone you love. I am very sad for your mom though. I don't know if she stays because she loves him or because she's afraid to leave / afraid of divorce but regardless it is going to be a tough time ahead for her.