Itchy Trigger Finger

[iamkipalan]

Question: when is the right time to part ways with someone?

I've had an extremely itchy trigger finger lately and have been parting ways with people at an excessive rate. When I went back to the Midwest, I contacted a cousin about my visit and invited her to a get together that was being held. She never showed. When I posted on instagram that there

Comments

[angisdrunk]

Are these concrete plans? It’s common for this to happen and becoming more common. Ultimately, it’s up to you to set boundaries. I cut people too much slack but I was approach things with kindness.

So, while waiting on them to show, I would shoot a message or call. “Hey, just checking in to see if you’re ok. We had plans to meet at 5 and it’s 5:20, I am worried.” Then, play it from there.

[iamkipalan]

Breakfast invite extended end of last week. Received an "I wanna go" message from her. I sent a reminder message the day before. Received a "Yup!" reply. Morning of, I arrived first and sent a message of where I was sitting. I'm not sure if your definition of concrete plans differs from mine, but I was under the impression she'd be there this morning. I definitely communicated from start to finish.

The invite to my cousin was handled differently as she has a history of being too good for family functions. I sent her an invite and the info needed and left it at that. She never left me with an impression that she'd want to see me after 20 years. Ha!

[angisdrunk]

Oh, ouch. I don’t know about the first one. That communication seems vague to me. But she definitely owed you a little more response.

[iamkipalan]

Agreed. I don't need that shit.

[howlin_wolf_66]

You are right to feel slighted and dissatisfied with that... but I find it extremely difficult to cut ties with family, so I'm the wrong person to ask!

I have a friend however who no longer speaks to his sister because he considers her selfish... I find it admirable to be able to jettison people who aren't a positive presence in your life - I just can't do it, myself.

I do think you have the right approach, though!

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[morrigan716]

As far as when it's time to part ways, I think that's something you just know.

[iamkipalan]

I think you're right. The thought wouldn't have entered my head if the timing wasn't right.

[morrigan716]

I lost a lot of long-time friends during 2020. So many people I had known for years revealed themselves to be terrible people during the beginning of the pandemic and BLM movement.

[iamkipalan]

I hear that. The 2016 election was that period for me.

[anais_pf]

I simply stop inviting people to stuff if they don't show up or don't respond. But I never send them any kind of "writing off" message . . . I just quietly fade away. If people want to reach out to me after that and suggest stuff, I decide whether it would be a plus or a minus to engage with them again. Usually I don't have to decide, because it seems as though nobody invites anyone to anything anymore.

[iamkipalan]

Post=pandemic times are definitely a little different.