001 [Voice]

[iamjoesjournal]

[starts out a bit muffled/distant sounding, like he's holding the receiver away from his face and/or covering the mouthpiece]

What are you doing? Why are you--what? ...Hey, YOU talk to them! I'm not--Tyler? TYLER! ...Shit!

[fumbling noises and a loooong pause before he says anything...]

...Hello?

Comments

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW YES

[deflowers]

[hey, this guy sounds pretty freaked out

this could be fun]

Hello~

~~~~~~/o/

[iamjoesjournal]

[sounds young...is that a kid? Jesus Christ, awesome luck there.

well it's not like there's much of another good option so DEEP BREATHS JACK]

...Hi. I-I need to know if there's anyone who could...fill me in on what's going on here.

[how smooth :|]

[deflowers]

[AW SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS]

Oh, you're cute ♥ Haahaaahhh~ I guess I could start off by saying that you're stuck here.

[iamjoesjournal]

[aaauuugh "cute" is not what he wants to hear right now but THERE ARE MORE PRESSING MATTERS TO ATTEND TO]

Stuck... What--what do you mean? Define "stuck".

[touchmysquirrel]

Hello.

[iamjoesjournal]

Hey, uh, this might seem like a weird question, but is it possibly to die from Narcolepsy? Because this...this can't be a good sign.

[touchmysquirrel]

I'm afraid it is. Need a doctor?

[iamjoesjournal]

Unless there's some other way I could've gotten here that doesn't involve sleepwalking...probably.

[nottoodumb]

Uh...Hello?

[iamjoesjournal]

[pauses again...talking to people is not his strong point]

I...can I ask what's going on here? Do you know?

[nottoodumb]

Yeah, but you better listen up, because I ain't gonna repeat myself...

This town's called Mayfield, no one seems to know where it is.

You're probably livin' in a house full of these drone people that swear up 'n down you're their father/husband.

Also, ya might wanna just give up asking questions and figur' things out for yo'self. 'cause no one 'ere's gonna give ya any straight answers.

[iamjoesjournal]

I am, actually, and I was wondering about... Why do they keep doing that?

Well if they don't give straight answers, how does anyone figure anything out around here?

[dispenserplz]

Yo, what's up?

[iamjoesjournal]

Uh...I'm, I'm sorry, this is all a bit much for me.

[dispenserplz]

Yeah, ya get used ta it!

[iamjoesjournal]

I'll take your word for it...

How did I get here?

[mayfield_mods]

Good Morning, darling.

[iamjoesjournal]

[very nearly JUMPS OUT OF HIS SKIN and almost drops the phone receiver in his haste to face his "wife"]

What the fuck is going on?

[mayfield_mods]

Are you ready for work, dear? I noticed you didn't eat breakfast.

[iamjoesjournal]

Stop calling me that! This is all a huge misunderstanding--I'm NOT your HUSBAND!