Meta: Guilt and Shame, Dean Winchester Style

[i_speak_tongue]

I read some meta the other day that attempted to explain away Sam and Dean’s differences by claiming that Dean feels guilt, which is healthy, while Sam feels shame, which isn’t. As if these two things don’t go together like PB and J. As if the levels of guilt that Dean feels can be considered healthy at all. Anyway, instead of critiquing that

Comments

Thank You

[anonymous]

for a most excellent meta. I read the post this was based on and while that poster had some salient points, I disagreed just a littlewith the summation and it didn't feel quite finished. I feel this point finished the thoughts of the other and clarified some things for me regarding Dean's mindset.

And yes, Ithink the brothers need to finally acknowledge that all of their problems begin with John. That who they are and what has happened to them and the choices they've made didn't begin in a vacuum.

Any chance you can do a Sam meta on this topic, someday?

[pedx]

I agree wholeheartedly with this entire breakdown, and it's why I am so closed-off to Sam and have created an entirely different Sam-canon in my head. I love Sam to bits -- just not the Sam the show has created, mostly due to his responses to Dean's issues. So if you could just write the show instead for some balance, that'd be awesome. Get right on that, okay?

[corbyinoz]

This is a terrific meta. I think you're spot on. I'd also mention that it is highly possible that Dean absorbed an awful amount of guilt (not shame) for his mother's death. It's very common for children to question whether they did something wrong when a parent leaves or dies. I am quite certain, given Dean's personality, that he immediately wondered that as a four year old. I am equally very certain that the bereaved and obsessive John did not take time to assure his son of his own innocence. An early traumatic event like that would go a long way to molding a pattern of behaviour, being right at the bedrock of everything else (It's my fault Dad's so sad and angry, Sammy hasn't got a mother, we don't have a home...)

[anactoria]

Bit late to the party on this one (I just discovered spn_heavymeta, there goes my evening...), but this is a great piece of meta, and thanks so much for posting it. ♥

I haven't read the post you're responding to, but the Sam=shame, Dean=guilt idea is something that's occurred to me in the past. It seems a little black and white for such a complicated situation, though, and you've really nailed the nuances of that here. And also, it's so difficult to separate the two, anyway. I'm no psychologist, but I'm sure I've read things about how people internalise their actions into their self-perception as far as they confirm it -- which would certainly seem to make sense for Dean and his violence and associated self-loathing.

I do have a slightly different reading of this:

This is a huge source of inner conflict for Dean right now, because his guilt and his shame are at odds. His feelings of guilt and responsibility led him to take on the Mark of Cain. But now, his shame-of being more destructive than helpful, of being only of use as a weapon, as a tool