Comments | i_renovated: Well, thank you so much...

i_renovated

Well, thank you so much...

May 06, 2013 18:02

Struggling today. Been taken out of my exams so my department chair could proctor. Apparently, one of the students I tried desperately to help pass, has decided I'm worth a ten page, single space, 10 point, multiple font rant--yep that's how fucked I am. So much so, the department. Chair has decided to proctor my exams. He classes the letter as ( Read more... )

Comments 5

Well, thank you so much... i_are_woman May 7 2013, 01:10:05 UTC

Holy shit! I'd be struggling, too.

Why is it when we try to help those that seem to need it the most we get kicked in the teeth? Why is it that those that need the help the most need help we can't give them - such as mental health services?

I would have been in your shoes and probably helped this person. I don't know what signs this person gave off that made you want to help but there were probably other clues that may have tipped you off to have given you the feeling that "the lights were on but no one was home." Hard to say. It is a learning experience, as frightening as it may be.

I think the department chair made a good call on this one. To feel safe, I'd call campus security to get you to your car and see what else they'd recommend. Call a nearby friend to inspect your place and make sure you're safe to be at home. I'm sure the department chair has done what he can within the guidelines he has to follow.

Damn, how scary! I'm sure you'll be ok, but I sure don't blame you for feeling like you want to jump out of your

Re: Well, thank you so much... i_renovated May 7 2013, 07:38:33 UTC

When you deal in lots of 100 humans at a time, there are always a handful who need a kind of professional expertise I can't help them with. I learned that early on. That isn't the help I offered. This one seemed troubled, but things escalate in the last week of the semester.

Once upon a time, I would have second guessed everything I did and said over the semester with this person. But it isn't about me, and I know I did everything right. I'm pissed he's effectively taken this week away from me, and that he's created extra work for my colleagues. I'm pretty sure has rant puts my ASD right in the middle of his complaints, and that feels a little like a witch hunt as well-- but again, it isn't about me, and desperate people will stop at nothing to make their own issues someone else's fault.

Meanwhile, I'll work to forgive him, and hope he gets the help he really needs.

Re: Well, thank you so much... i_are_woman May 7 2013, 16:28:20 UTC

Your awareness of your response to his issues, I believe, is key. Realizing that it's the end of the term creates a stress for everyone involved and we don't really know what's up with this guy. Knowing how YOU handle the end of the term is important because you can control that piece of the equation. You CAN'T control how someone else may react. But understanding yourself and your responses to stressful situations is critical and you seem to have a handle on that ( ... )

darkelf105 May 8 2013, 17:50:49 UTC

I'm so sorry! I wish that this wasn't happening to you because you are such a totally amazing lady. I wish there was something I could do. But I am thinking about you and sending as much positive energy your way as I can.

i_renovated May 9 2013, 00:01:38 UTC

Thanks. A day or so to process and I'm really okay with it all. A little angry, but for good reason. You know what the ultimate irony is in this? Before he got mouthy I was going to do everything I could to make sure he make a passing grade (if at all possible), because he was one of those students who demonstrated in class that he was at least trying and getting enough of the material to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Now, after all this stink, I have to turn over my syllabus, my grades and my exams and thoroughly walk my Chair through all of that. In other words, these scores need to be able to stand up to public scrutiny in case this person decides to really take things further. Annnnndd, that means I have to score to the letter of the syllabus, no "benefit of the doubt" subjective boost for students who fall in a gray area between "clearly passing" and "clearly failing". Ironic, no? Even if I wanted to pass him now, it's very likely I won't be able to, because his numbers won't let me.