I really do have to smash something up. I realised that what I do is just turn any emotion I odn't liek into agression. So that's new.

Wow, I haven't been here in awhile. But hey. Whats going on in Bens world? Welllll teh short answer is fuck all. I went to kits, talked with Samir, watched pron, watched kill bill, and ended up passing out in a chair. but yeah. i think everyone's started thinking too much, I mean I have a whole lot of stuff to write on here, it's mainly my thoughts ( Read more... )

It's 10:40 in Thailand. Yes. Ben's in Thailand. In a very posh airport lounge. Which I got into on account of my dad, my twin-ness, and amazing all round cuteness. Yeah right. Still, it's the poshest place I've ever been in. XD. Well yeah, it's 12 hour overnight flight time soon enough. This holidays been cool, but I've missed everyone. However, I' ( Read more... )

I hate you. I hate myself. I hate this planet. I hate this routine where I'm living for teh next party, or gig, where I can just get high, get pissed, get in a fight, mosh or anything else, to the point where I feel worth something. But for the weeks inbetween, I want to tear of my skin, be someone else. I am jealous of every person on this planet ( Read more... )

Wow. This is to anybody outside my social of friends. I know, that reading my journal, I must seem like a bit of a (complete) bitter dickhead. maybe thats cos partly, I am. But also, I tend to write down my pissed off thoughts more. Ok well. Since I last wrote. I got off report. Which was good I guess. I thought I was gona go all big effort, do ( Read more... )

Yes kids. This is the best bit. Now, because of course I couldn't possibly be A SELFISH FUCK for once, I'm the asshole. When it's me gettign stuff fucked up for me. Woop friggedy-doo. So yes. I'm an asshole. You can think that. Whatever. I'm off to self pity and scream at the unfairness of it all. Bye.

Well I hit on the head there. 'I feel like screaming at a wall for 6 hours.' And I do. And I have 15 minutes till my timer runs out. And I haven't talked to a single person who's made me feel a single bit better. Everyone's a faggot. I really am sick of people giving me false hope. And pretending there's nothing just gnawing away at me. Because ( Read more... )

FOR FUCKS SAKES! Why did god decide that he was gona be a faggot today? Maybe it's all the satanic worship, but I dunno. Anyway. I'm pissed off all day. Now the only people I have to talk to are going. I really, seriously, absolutely fucking hate everything today.

Well, today I'm pretty godamn bored. I just got outta bed.. Talked to various people for a while.. Well that's my day. What an exciting life I lead. Anway on a retarded note, did anyone else backflip off their sofa at 3 in the morning? I did, and it was fun. Hmm.. I'm having fucked up mixed feelings about this one girl called *gasp* wouldn'tcha ( Read more... )

I think I've made up my mind over some stuff.. And some people (including me), are gona get pissed off