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Comments 26

theun4givables December 5 2014, 19:14:44 UTC
Aw man, Gina! Just what the hell have you gotten the crew into, this time??

I love the group dynamics of this little group. They've grown on me quite a lot -- and your dialogue always makes me happy. :) Group!dialouge and I are not friends; it's always nice to see it pulled off so well.

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i_17bingo December 8 2014, 05:49:10 UTC
The trick is to find a voice for each character. A tip for that, pick one or two words or phrases that a character will always say (i.e. Susan has "Yo" and "Baby"--there is at least one of each in every story; and half of Rafaela's dialogue works you read it aloud and attach "OMG!" to the front of it.)

If you pay close attention, a lot of your friends will have some verbal tics (I have some friends who are fond of "dude" and one who says "double-you-tee-eff"), so borrow them.

This has been "Dialogue by Jeremiah," a class from The University of Writing Good.

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theun4givables December 8 2014, 11:53:39 UTC
I've done this -- for me, it's probably more of a pacing/equal time issue. I can handle three people at once fine; four I start to get antsy, and once I've got five or more I'm like WHAT DO. xD So I'm always impressed with your scenes that hit the 5 or more category. :)

And god, yes, I've stolen plenty of verbal ticks from my friends. And myself. xD

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jexia December 7 2014, 10:15:08 UTC
I really enjoy these characters.

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i_17bingo December 8 2014, 05:40:24 UTC
Well, they enjoy you!

(But seriously, thanks. They've become... almost friends... over the past eight or nine months.)

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halfshellvenus December 9 2014, 06:55:42 UTC
"I'm sharing that nope," Susan agreed, "and I brought a bunch of my own."
Haha-- a wise decision. But not made soon enough.

Yet they made him feel like a mouse in a field hearing the screech of an owl.
I liked this phrasing very much. A mouse may have primitive thinking, but it can certainly perceive something like dooooom.

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i_17bingo December 9 2014, 10:54:42 UTC
Hey, look, don't blame Susan for her bad decision. She had no idea that her door was open; nor that there was a door at all. This was all on Gina.

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bleodswean December 9 2014, 15:34:42 UTC
Oh, this is fantastic!!!! If I didn't already know these intriguing characters I would say this is the prologue to a really fantastic supernatural mystery!

Your dialogue is snappy and in-chara. Nice! Not a lot of action here but the action you have sets the scene well. Exciting stuff!

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i_17bingo December 10 2014, 04:13:13 UTC
Well, my charas do have a voice of their own.

Your excitement really brightens my day. Thank you.

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roina_arwen December 9 2014, 19:09:30 UTC
The Scooby Gang strikes again!

Definitely a fun story, and I love that you include all the links to past episodes. :)

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i_17bingo December 10 2014, 04:12:21 UTC
At this point, continuity is kind of crucial. I just hope I'm not alienating newer readers...

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