14
Title: Don't Rock the Boat.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 14 Minor annoyances - papercut, hangnail, stubbed toe, motion sickness
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Caribbean Cruise from Hell.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
_________________________________________
Flipping through her papers, Blanche looked for the schedule for the cruise's activities. She knew she had left the damned thing here some where, it was just proving to be elusive. Flipping over a stack of pink post-its, she found it. "Finally!" Her hand shot out to pick up then dropped back. "Ow!" Putting her finger in her mouth, Blanche sucked on the papercut.
With a huff, she picked up the itinerary up with the other hand and turned to walk out of her cabin. It was turning out to be one of the most unpleasant cruises in her life. First, they had lost her luggage during security checking, how, she couldn't figure out. Next, they had served her cold dinner, not even what she had ordered. She had missed the single's mixer limbo because of a sprained ankle. What next?
Moving her hand to close the door behind her, she felt her hand snag on the back of her jacket. Pulling it off, her eyes went wide. "Damn!" Putting the finger with the now broken finger nail in her mouth, she stamped on the deck. As if to add insult to injury, just as she moved out from under the over hang, water came cascading over her.
Blanche shrieked. Cold, chlorinated water covered her entire outfit. Her curled hair hung around her head in limp strands. Blinking, something started to irritate her eye. With her teeth grinding, she realized it was her mascara. "Water proof my ass!"
Next thing she knew, she was being thrown against the rails as the ship rocked. "Oh, what now?" To answer her, she was thrown back against her door again as the ship listed to the other side. She his the bulkhead feet first. "Ow, damn it!" Clutching the door handle, she held her stubbed toe.
The boat changed directions.
Arms cartwheeling, eyes wide she flew backwards, soaring over the arm rail. With a cry of shock, she plummeted to the ocean below. Silently she swore to kill the Dorothy for booking her on this voyage of the damned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Thank you, oh thank you!" Climbing aboard the ship with the aid of strong sailor, Blanche smiled at him gratefully. Something about him struck her as strange. It possibly had something to do with the cut of his clothes, it was like something off a romance novel. Despite the gnarled clothes, from what she could see of him, she thought it wasn't a bad situation.
Behind her, she could hear the deck go silent. Turning around, she smiled at the men. Then her smile grew three sizes. "Howdy, gentlemen." If she thought the man who helped her up was built, she was now reconsidering. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. If there is any way for me to repay you, just name it." Winking, she smirked. "Anything."
"Oh dear god." One of the sailors off to her right put a hand to his face. "I think she actually means it."
Several of the other sailors shuddered.
"Sorry, honey, but we're not those kinda boys." Releasing Blanche, the sailor who had helped her up now stepped back, avoiding her as if she were with plague.
"Then what, pray tell, just kinda boys are you gentlemen?" She got her answer when one of the sailors placed a hand on another's butt. "Oh. Damn." Then after a beat. "Can I watch?"
THE END.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 14 Minor annoyances - papercut, hangnail, stubbed toe, motion sickness
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Caribbean Cruise from Hell.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
_________________________________________
Flipping through her papers, Blanche looked for the schedule for the cruise's activities. She knew she had left the damned thing here some where, it was just proving to be elusive. Flipping over a stack of pink post-its, she found it. "Finally!" Her hand shot out to pick up then dropped back. "Ow!" Putting her finger in her mouth, Blanche sucked on the papercut.
With a huff, she picked up the itinerary up with the other hand and turned to walk out of her cabin. It was turning out to be one of the most unpleasant cruises in her life. First, they had lost her luggage during security checking, how, she couldn't figure out. Next, they had served her cold dinner, not even what she had ordered. She had missed the single's mixer limbo because of a sprained ankle. What next?
Moving her hand to close the door behind her, she felt her hand snag on the back of her jacket. Pulling it off, her eyes went wide. "Damn!" Putting the finger with the now broken finger nail in her mouth, she stamped on the deck. As if to add insult to injury, just as she moved out from under the over hang, water came cascading over her.
Blanche shrieked. Cold, chlorinated water covered her entire outfit. Her curled hair hung around her head in limp strands. Blinking, something started to irritate her eye. With her teeth grinding, she realized it was her mascara. "Water proof my ass!"
Next thing she knew, she was being thrown against the rails as the ship rocked. "Oh, what now?" To answer her, she was thrown back against her door again as the ship listed to the other side. She his the bulkhead feet first. "Ow, damn it!" Clutching the door handle, she held her stubbed toe.
The boat changed directions.
Arms cartwheeling, eyes wide she flew backwards, soaring over the arm rail. With a cry of shock, she plummeted to the ocean below. Silently she swore to kill the Dorothy for booking her on this voyage of the damned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Thank you, oh thank you!" Climbing aboard the ship with the aid of strong sailor, Blanche smiled at him gratefully. Something about him struck her as strange. It possibly had something to do with the cut of his clothes, it was like something off a romance novel. Despite the gnarled clothes, from what she could see of him, she thought it wasn't a bad situation.
Behind her, she could hear the deck go silent. Turning around, she smiled at the men. Then her smile grew three sizes. "Howdy, gentlemen." If she thought the man who helped her up was built, she was now reconsidering. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. If there is any way for me to repay you, just name it." Winking, she smirked. "Anything."
"Oh dear god." One of the sailors off to her right put a hand to his face. "I think she actually means it."
Several of the other sailors shuddered.
"Sorry, honey, but we're not those kinda boys." Releasing Blanche, the sailor who had helped her up now stepped back, avoiding her as if she were with plague.
"Then what, pray tell, just kinda boys are you gentlemen?" She got her answer when one of the sailors placed a hand on another's butt. "Oh. Damn." Then after a beat. "Can I watch?"
THE END.