13
Title: Me, Myself, and I.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 13 Infection
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor - Alternate Reality.
Summary: Normal people reproduce through sex.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
_________________________________________
One bright and sunny day, Blanche awoke to find Rose in her bed. The shriek that filled the house set the neighborhood dogs to howling. After she got through having a nervous break down, Blanche promptly slugged the blonde. Climbing naked from her bed, Blanche scrambled over to her walk-in closet. The closest bathrobe was a fuzzy terry cloth that she quickly threw on.
Storming back in to her bedroom, she shoved the sleeves up and got in to a fighting stance. "Get out of that bed. Get out of that bed this instant or so help me god, I will strike you dead where you lay!" Unfortunately for her, Rose in her bed, was already unconscious from the first hit. A knocking on her door distracted her.
Walking over to her door, she twisted the lock and threw it open with a huff. Then her jaw promptly hit the floor. "How in the hell?"
"Blanche, what was that god awful scream?" Pushing her way in to Blanche's room, Rose looked about for a burglar. Seeing herself unconscious in Blanche's bed, she put a hand to her face. "Oh my god, Rose! Blanche, what have you done to her?"
"Her? You? What have I done?" Still in shock, Blanche just watched Rose run to herself and pat her face.
"What's going on here?" Entering the bedroom, a third Rose put on her glasses, then promptly took them off again. After cleaning them, she put them on again. "What the hell? Forget this crap, I'm going back to bed." The third Rose turned to go back out the bedroom door, but a forth Rose bumped in to her. "Rose? How did you get over here so fast?"
"I don't know what you are talking about... Rose?" The forth Rose tilted her head with a frown. Suddenly, her expression turned to pure delight. "It worked! It worked!" Glancing about the room, the original Rose, aka the fourth Rose, looked to the other versions of her. "You're all me!"
"Think again, oh great white moron." Third Rose glared through her glasses at the original Rose. "I'm not... Hey! What the hell? This isn't my voice!" Glancing at her hand, she checked over her body, scanning over her face with her fingers. "What the hell did you do to me, you bubble head?"
Standing up from the Rose in the bed, the second Rose looked to the third Rose. "Ma?"
"In a sec, Pussycat." The third Rose glanced over at the second Rose, waved her to be quiet, then went back to grilling the original Rose. "What have you done?"
"Nothing, I just made a wish." Seeing third herself about to get violent, original Rose put up her hands. "I also might have taken something. I told this strange man I met down town Little Havana that I wanted to be surrounded by people like me. He smiled and gave me something to drink, said I would wake up and those who were around me would be just like me. I didn't think anything of it, he seemed so harmless."
"And now we're all Rose. Great thinking, Einstein!" Rose Three was about to strike Original Rose, when Rose two grabbed her hand. "Let me go, Dorothy, I'm going to put her out of our misery once and for all!"
"Not now, ma!" Forcing Rose Three to move away, Rose Two glared at Original Rose. Something occurred to her and she looked over at Blanche. "Wait a minute, how can she be Blanche still?"
"What?" Finally able to accept that there was more than one Rose, Blanche stepped over. She peered at Rose Two hard and frowned. "Dorothy?"
"Yes, Blanche, it's me." Putting on her thinking cap, Rose Two placed a hand to her chin. "Let me see if I got this right. Stupid over here drank something a strange man gave her. She comes home and suddenly everyone but Blanche is Rose. Now, I spent most of last night tossing and turning because I felt like I had a cold. How about the rest of you?"
"I might have had a little tickle." Rose Three in her corner, kept sending death glares at Original Rose.
When the three Roses looked at her, Blanche suddenly found fixing her hair to be the utmost fascinating thing. "And Michael did sneeze a lot last night, but I just thought it was my perfume."
"Well, that explains how it spread, but not why Blanche is still Blanche." She searched the room quickly, trying to find something that might explain it away. Then she found it. "Clarityn! Blanche, you take antihistamines for allergies?"
"Yes, always have. Wouldn't do to go around looking all puffy and stuffed up on a date... Sorta like you now." Giggling, she covered her mouth. Then thinking better of it, she released it and soon lapsed in to a cackling fit.
"Funny, very funny." Walking over to the medicine, she opened the bottle and took one without hesitation. The thing tasted horrible and was almost impossible to take dry, but if she was right, she should be back to normal in several hours. "Here, ma, take one and then we'll see if that is it. If not, Rose, I suggest you find a place to hide." Rose Two shook the bottle to get more out, then frowned when only one tablet dropped out. The label said sixty tablets and had been filled only a week ago. "Blanche, how many of these do you take?"
"Four times the normal dosage. I've been taking them for so long that I've built up a tolerance." Now her expression was smug. "I've got quite the immune system, I adapt quickly."
"Damn!" Dropping the bottle, she sat down in Blanche's vanity chair. "That could mean she is automatically immune to whatever this... infection is. You know, Rose, since there are so many of you now, they won't miss you, and my uncle Carmine knows how to get rid of bodies." She smirked as the Original Rose ran from the room. "There, that should limit the exposure. If this really does work, we are going to have to take this for a long time."
"I'm sure Rose won't mind paying," Blanche said. Looking between the three of the Roses still in the room, she smiled. "One of you that is."
THE END.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 13 Infection
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor - Alternate Reality.
Summary: Normal people reproduce through sex.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
_________________________________________
One bright and sunny day, Blanche awoke to find Rose in her bed. The shriek that filled the house set the neighborhood dogs to howling. After she got through having a nervous break down, Blanche promptly slugged the blonde. Climbing naked from her bed, Blanche scrambled over to her walk-in closet. The closest bathrobe was a fuzzy terry cloth that she quickly threw on.
Storming back in to her bedroom, she shoved the sleeves up and got in to a fighting stance. "Get out of that bed. Get out of that bed this instant or so help me god, I will strike you dead where you lay!" Unfortunately for her, Rose in her bed, was already unconscious from the first hit. A knocking on her door distracted her.
Walking over to her door, she twisted the lock and threw it open with a huff. Then her jaw promptly hit the floor. "How in the hell?"
"Blanche, what was that god awful scream?" Pushing her way in to Blanche's room, Rose looked about for a burglar. Seeing herself unconscious in Blanche's bed, she put a hand to her face. "Oh my god, Rose! Blanche, what have you done to her?"
"Her? You? What have I done?" Still in shock, Blanche just watched Rose run to herself and pat her face.
"What's going on here?" Entering the bedroom, a third Rose put on her glasses, then promptly took them off again. After cleaning them, she put them on again. "What the hell? Forget this crap, I'm going back to bed." The third Rose turned to go back out the bedroom door, but a forth Rose bumped in to her. "Rose? How did you get over here so fast?"
"I don't know what you are talking about... Rose?" The forth Rose tilted her head with a frown. Suddenly, her expression turned to pure delight. "It worked! It worked!" Glancing about the room, the original Rose, aka the fourth Rose, looked to the other versions of her. "You're all me!"
"Think again, oh great white moron." Third Rose glared through her glasses at the original Rose. "I'm not... Hey! What the hell? This isn't my voice!" Glancing at her hand, she checked over her body, scanning over her face with her fingers. "What the hell did you do to me, you bubble head?"
Standing up from the Rose in the bed, the second Rose looked to the third Rose. "Ma?"
"In a sec, Pussycat." The third Rose glanced over at the second Rose, waved her to be quiet, then went back to grilling the original Rose. "What have you done?"
"Nothing, I just made a wish." Seeing third herself about to get violent, original Rose put up her hands. "I also might have taken something. I told this strange man I met down town Little Havana that I wanted to be surrounded by people like me. He smiled and gave me something to drink, said I would wake up and those who were around me would be just like me. I didn't think anything of it, he seemed so harmless."
"And now we're all Rose. Great thinking, Einstein!" Rose Three was about to strike Original Rose, when Rose two grabbed her hand. "Let me go, Dorothy, I'm going to put her out of our misery once and for all!"
"Not now, ma!" Forcing Rose Three to move away, Rose Two glared at Original Rose. Something occurred to her and she looked over at Blanche. "Wait a minute, how can she be Blanche still?"
"What?" Finally able to accept that there was more than one Rose, Blanche stepped over. She peered at Rose Two hard and frowned. "Dorothy?"
"Yes, Blanche, it's me." Putting on her thinking cap, Rose Two placed a hand to her chin. "Let me see if I got this right. Stupid over here drank something a strange man gave her. She comes home and suddenly everyone but Blanche is Rose. Now, I spent most of last night tossing and turning because I felt like I had a cold. How about the rest of you?"
"I might have had a little tickle." Rose Three in her corner, kept sending death glares at Original Rose.
When the three Roses looked at her, Blanche suddenly found fixing her hair to be the utmost fascinating thing. "And Michael did sneeze a lot last night, but I just thought it was my perfume."
"Well, that explains how it spread, but not why Blanche is still Blanche." She searched the room quickly, trying to find something that might explain it away. Then she found it. "Clarityn! Blanche, you take antihistamines for allergies?"
"Yes, always have. Wouldn't do to go around looking all puffy and stuffed up on a date... Sorta like you now." Giggling, she covered her mouth. Then thinking better of it, she released it and soon lapsed in to a cackling fit.
"Funny, very funny." Walking over to the medicine, she opened the bottle and took one without hesitation. The thing tasted horrible and was almost impossible to take dry, but if she was right, she should be back to normal in several hours. "Here, ma, take one and then we'll see if that is it. If not, Rose, I suggest you find a place to hide." Rose Two shook the bottle to get more out, then frowned when only one tablet dropped out. The label said sixty tablets and had been filled only a week ago. "Blanche, how many of these do you take?"
"Four times the normal dosage. I've been taking them for so long that I've built up a tolerance." Now her expression was smug. "I've got quite the immune system, I adapt quickly."
"Damn!" Dropping the bottle, she sat down in Blanche's vanity chair. "That could mean she is automatically immune to whatever this... infection is. You know, Rose, since there are so many of you now, they won't miss you, and my uncle Carmine knows how to get rid of bodies." She smirked as the Original Rose ran from the room. "There, that should limit the exposure. If this really does work, we are going to have to take this for a long time."
"I'm sure Rose won't mind paying," Blanche said. Looking between the three of the Roses still in the room, she smiled. "One of you that is."
THE END.