(500) Days Of Jesse - Part Four

Dec 13, 2011 19:35

Title: (500) Days Of Jesse
Part: Four
Rating: R for this part.
Summary: Jewnicorn/(500) Days Of Summer crossover. Loosely based on the plot of the film.
Disclaimer: Never happened, all a figment of my imagination. I am not affiliated with anyone mentioned in this work of fiction. (500) Days Of Summer is property of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
A/N: Remember to pay close attention to the numbers before each section, they denote the number of days that Andrew and Jesse have known one another at each point -same as the film, of course- it'll help you in keeping track of where they are on their 500 day timeline :)

Previous:  Part One |  Part Two | Part Three

~

(121)

Jesse drives a ridiculous, pale blue Ford Fiesta, which had probably graced the roads many years before he was born. It’s very, very eighties. Tape deck, grey textile interior patterned with neon-coloured geometric shapes, angular and boxy. Jesse had explained that since he rides his bike to work most days, and that most of the other places he needs to visit on a regular basis are within a fifteen block radius, he only really needs a car for slightly longer journeys -which, in his life, are rare- so he figured he wouldn’t need to spend a great deal of money on car. He got this one dirt cheap, and named it Brian.

Apparently, it’s unfair to assume that all cars are “she’s”.

Andrew bounces around in his seat as they head towards downtown Queens -the suspension is a little off in this thing- toying with the stereo, trying to tune it into some left-of-the-dial college radio station. These are the only radio stations, in his opinion, that play ‘decent music’. At the moment, it’s just a load of crackly buzzing. By the time he manages to find something, they’ll probably have arrived at the movie theatre, but he continues on regardless.

Meanwhile, from the driver’s seat, Jesse rattles on about Crimes & Misdemeanours. He was looking through a newspaper a couple of days ago and found that a tiny, indie movie theatre downtown was showing it today, a matinée showing, meaning that Andrew won‘t have to take any time off work tonight.

Jesse stares out of the windshield, one hand on the wheel, the other gesticulating wildly through the air. “I just cannot believe that you haven’t seen it. It’s a classic. Seriously, Andrew, Woody Allen is my hero, he is just like me, I can relate him so well, I just… ugh, everything he does is a masterpiece.”

Andrew’s partly listening to Jesse, partly listening to the jumble of radio stations that he’s flitting between at breakneck speed, and partly listening to the concoction of thoughts that are whizzing about his head without making any real sense.

Have you ever noticed that with some things, even if they’re right there in front of your face, you may not notice them until someone actually points them out to you? You may have had a friend that you’ve known for years, but you may have never noticed the mole on their face until they told you that it was there. Afterwards, it’s all that you can see. The same sort of thing has been done, to Andrew, by Joe. It’s a not a mole thing, it’s something entirely different and much more important.

Up until about a week ago he was fine with the fact that he and Jesse hadn’t given a name or a label to their ‘relationship’, he hadn’t really thought about it or given it much concern. Now, however, since Joe brought it up last week, all Andrew has been able to think about it his and Jesse’s relationship, and it’s got him worried.

Are he and Jesse an official couple yet… boyfriends? It’s difficult to tell. On the one hand, as Joe had said, Jesse and Andrew see each other as much as humanly possible, they kiss and hug and hold hands and have sex like all couples do. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and swims like a duck… it’s a duck, right?

Except, not once has Jesse referred to Andrew as his boyfriend, let alone as the person he’s dating. When they go out, they never say that they’re going out on a date, they‘re just ‘hanging out‘ or ‘going over to your place‘. So, Andrew is baffled, he has absolutely no idea what’s going on here. He enjoys it, sure, he enjoys all of it, but he supposes that Joe was right, he really ought to ask, just to make sure, for his own sanity at least. What if, to Jesse, this is just some casual thing, something that he’s doing in order to ease himself into this whole ‘being in a relationship’ thing? What if Andrew’s just a form of preparation, or practice for something better?

“Andrew, are you even listening to me?”

“What?” Andrew looks up, eyes slightly glazed over from staring at the radio so intently. “Sorry, I wasn’t. I completely spaced out. What were you saying?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jesse looks over at him with this half-smile-half-smirk kind of thing on his face. Whenever Jesse does this, all Andrew can think about is kissing him right on the corner of his mouth where his lips have curled up a little. “What were you thinking about?”

Andrew gives the knob one final twist, and at last manages to find a station that plays clearly, it‘s currently running a track by some band that he‘s never heard of. He looks at Jesse, who’s returned his gaze to the road, and shrugs. “Nothing important.”

“It must have been important,” Jesse smiles benignly, “if it kept you from listening to me talk about Woody Allen then it must have been pretty damn interesting, there’s hardly anything in this world that’s more interesting than him.”

Andrew gulps. He has this odd, tingly feeling in his stomach. “I was just thinking about us.”

“What about us?”

“Like… what are we?”

Jesse’s frowns for a moment, then his face shifts back into a wry smile. “We are two human beings of the male persuasion.”

“No. I mean, like, you and I, together, what are we?” Despite the fact that Jesse isn’t looking at him, Andrew twists in his seat to face him. Andrew, at the moment, has a face like a miserable blood-hound, a pleading, ‘please help me’ kind of expression. “Are we together?”

“Of course we are,” Jesse replies simply.

“As a couple?”

Jesse shrugs. “I suppose so, yeah.”

“You suppose so?” Andrew grimaces out of confusion, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

“Yeah, I just said that, didn‘t I?” Jesse says bluntly, he’s starting to sound a little annoyed now.

“Okay. So, would you say that I was your boyfriend?” Andrew presses.

“I really don’t know.”

Andrew‘s getting annoyed too, now. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“Exactly that. I don’t know!”

“You must know.”

Abruptly, without any word of warning, Jesse signals right and pulls over at the side of the road. He switches the engine off and -after a moment or two in which he breathes heavily as if trying to keep his temper at bay- twists in his seat to face Andrew, his face stern.

Though, underneath that mask of mild anger, Andrew can tell that he’s worried too.

“Listen, Andrew,” Jesse begins, avoiding eye contact. “I spent the whole of high school ostracised as a freak for being gay. I had three friends at the most, and they were losers, just like me. Not one of us got any action, so I never learned about relationship politics in the way that every teenager is supposed to. I don’t know the difference between going out, or hooking up, or dating, or seeing someone. They could all mean the same thing for all I know. It’s not that I don’t want to put a label on this, it’s just that I can’t. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was eighteen, I have no idea what constitutes an official relationship, but I know that I’m happy with you, and I like where we are, so whatever label you want to put on this, then that’s just fine, because it’s not going to change how I feel about you in any way. If we’re just hanging out, that’s okay. If we’re dating, that okay. If you think we’re boyfriends, then that’s okay too. All I know is that I want to be with you more than anything, so you decide, if it’ll make you happy. That’s all that I want.”

Andrew widens his eyes for a second -blinks. That was the single largest amount of words Jesse has ever said to him at one time, and at the same time, they were the best words he’s ever heard. Well, the second part anyway, about Jesse wanting Andrew to be happy in this relationship just as Jesse is himself. Throughout that entire speech, Andrew had kept his eyes trained on Jesse, his reddening cheeks, his shaking hands darting all over the place as if to frame what he was saying. He seemed exposed and passionate, as if meant every word of it. He did mean it.

Andrew takes a long, deep breath before answering. “I’d like to think that you’re my boyfriend.”

“Then that’s what I am.” Jesse’s voice remains quiet, but his tone has brightened considerably. He sounds relieved, and his flushed cheeks seem to be fading back to their usual colour.

Full of hope, Andrew smiles just a little “…and I’m yours?”

Jesse‘s face splits into a spectacular grin, he reaches out and takes one of Andrew‘s hands into his. “Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Just okay?” Jesse giggles wearily.

“Yeah,” Andrew lets out a sigh of relief, still smiling. “Just okay. Everything’s okay.”

“I have a boyfriend,” Jesse states.

“Me too.“ Andrew chuckles, feeling much lighter for having had this conversation. “It’s crazy how things turn out, huh?”

Jesse’s eyes widen with mild surprise. “I always figured that I’d die alone with like… fifty cats.”

“You can still have the cats, if you want,” Andrew shrugs, fighting a smile.

“Perfect, we‘ll go down to the pet store tomorrow to pick them all up,” Jesse leans forward to kiss Andrew’s cheek. “It’s good to know that I’ve got my life planned out now.”

“Takes a lot of weight off, doesn’t it?”

“It sure does.” All of a sudden, Jesse‘s smile grows even larger, and he reaches out towards the radio to turn it up. "Oh, Hitchin’ A Ride is on!”

“You’re just joking about the fifty cats, right?” Andrew asks as Jesse starts the car up again and pulls away.

“Oh yeah,” Jesse nods along to the song. “I’m fine with the two we have.”

Andrew likes the sound of that, they're not just Jesse and Andrew anymore, they're "we".

(172)

“I think I always knew that I was gay, like, right back when I was little. I didn’t see the appeal with girls, I didn’t get it." Jesse sits on the floor behind the counter, using a pair of scissors to hack into a box of books. “You know, when you’re little, boys always say that girls are ‘icky’, maybe I just never grew out of that idea. What about you?”

Andrew sits up on the counter by the register, watching Jesse as he works. “I had girlfriends before, one or two when I was younger, but I came out at sixteen, because with girls it just never felt, I don’t know… right. It just always felt, to me, like something was missing.”

Jesse looks up, smiling sarcastically. “Like a penis?”

“Shut up!” Andrew laughs, gently shoving Jesse’s shoulder with his foot. “I don’t know really. Don’t get me wrong, I like girls as friends, and I can understand that they’re beautiful.”

Jesse finally gets the box open and starts taking the books out in small piles. “Yeah me too.”

“Like, I get that Emma’s gorgeous, but I don’t find myself attracted to her. It’s like… it’s like how you can say that your sister is pretty without actually being attracted to her yourself, for obvious reasons, right?”

“That’s a weird example,” Jesse says, looking up at his boyfriend as if he’s gone crazy, “but I get what you mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah," Jesse nods, “like Armie always says, he says that he can understand that some guys are hot without actually being attracted to them. Like he knows that Brad Pitt is sexy, but if Brad asked him back to his hotel room, he’d probably say no, even if he wasn‘t with Elizabeth. He’d be respectful about it, obviously.”

“Because it is Brad Pitt after all,” Andrew concedes. “You don‘t just reject Brad Pitt outright.”

“Exactly. But he’d still say no,” Jesse pauses for a moment, thinking, then smiles to himself. “I wouldn’t say no, though.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Andrew nods, then upon realisation, a smile starts to spread across his face too as he stares down at Jesse. “Brad Pitt, huh? So that’s what you like? Pretty boys, muscular and sexy? That’s your type? That‘s cool, I could take up weight lifting.”

“I don’t have a ‘type‘, not really,“ Jesse looks up, shrugging nonchalantly, “but like you said, who’d say no to Brad Pitt apart from Armie? Have you seen him in Fight Club?”

“Of course I have, but I tend to be focussing more on Edward Norton.”

“Edward Norton?” Jesse has that ’you’ve clearly gone crazy’ look on his face again. “But he’s all skinny and geeky in that movie.”

“So now you know why I’m with you,” Andrew smirks playfully, looking away.

Jesse rushes to his feet, shoves Andrew hard in the chest with both hands. “Hey!”

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” Andrew laughs, reaching out to hold the sides of Jesse‘s face. He pulls his close and kisses him. “He toughens up once he’s actually in Fight Club though.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Jesse agrees, puffing out his chest. “I’m tough.”

Andrew chuckles, kisses him again. “Yeah you are.”

"Yo! Lovebirds!" Andrew looks up, and Jesse spins around. It's Aziz sticking his head out of the store room again, rolling his eyes. "Don't make me put up a 'No Heavy Petting' sign!"

(259)

"You're kidding me?"

"I'm really not."

Andrew stares at Jesse, bewildered, as if he‘s just admitted to having some creepy fetish, a dislike for chocolate, or something equally abhorrent. "Beer makes you feel sick?"

"Yes, it tastes awful. I can't drink it."

"I guess I could get you something else then.” Andrew turns around, glances at the optics lined up behind him, all of which contain various spirits and liqueurs. He looks back over his shoulder towards Jesse and calls out to him over the top of the numerous conversations and loud music that's playing in this place. “What's your stance on whiskey?"

Jesse screws up his face with disgust. "Makes me feel even worse!"

"Vodka?"

"Only when it's mixed with something, like Coke."

Andrew turns around fully, places his hands on the bar in front of his boyfriend. "We don't serve soft drinks here."

"Jesus, it's like Coyote Ugly in here. Will you dance on the counter for me?” Jesse seems to be smiling at the very thought of it. Andrew in tight, leather pants, pouring buckets of icy water over himself whilst dancing provocatively to some raunchy classic rock song. Then, all of a sudden, he frowns deeply. “Wait, you have to serve soft drinks, what about the designated drivers?"

“You’ve seen Coyote Ugly?” Andrew asks, ignoring Jesse’s last question.

Jesse nods. “I have two sisters.”

“Of course. Anyway, designated drivers don't drink here."

"Talk about a niche market,” Jesse laughs, looking from side to side at the other people that fill the bar around him.

"Not that niche.” Andrew shrugs a single shoulder. “We sell to people who are willing to drink alcohol and are also willing to walk home. You're willing to do both since we‘re leaving the car here overnight, so what should I get you? What did you drink at Emma's?"

"No idea. It was blue and sugary, that's all I know."

"I could make you a girly cocktail,” Andrew suggests reluctantly.

Jesse‘s face splits into a disbelieving smile. "Do you even know how?"

"Not really, but I do have..." Andrew reaches beneath the bar and pulls out a dusty cocktail menu that appears to aid the reader in putting these particular drinks together. He coughs as he wipes the dust off "…this."

"Okay, make me a girly cocktail,” Jesse says, slapping the bar to finalise his decision. “Something fruity, please. Make it pink, to match my outfit.”

Jesse's wearing a pink button-down tonight over the top of a black t-shirt. Andrew eyes him. "Right. You truly are a gay man."

"I know."

Andrew looks down at the menu and picks out the girliest looking drink he can find. It’s pink and creamy looking, comes in a martini glass with whole glacé cherries floating it in. He can’t make out the name on the page, it’s been obscured by decades of wear and tear. It takes him a good ten minutes to put it together, he messes it up the first time, too much grenadine, but on the second try? He gets it just right. Once he’s done, he slides it across the bar towards Jesse.

Jesse stares down at it for a few moments, then looks up expectantly. "Where's my little umbrella?"

Andrew‘s face drops. "You're joking?"

"I never joke about paper umbrellas,” Jesse replies solemnly.

“Okay,” Andrew dashes down to the other end of the bar, takes a little pink umbrella out of the pot, and returns to plop it into Jesse‘s cocktail. "There."

"Perfect." Jesse grins, and leans down to take a sip. He closes his eyes and his face contorts in pleasure. "Mmm! That is amazing! Thank you."

"No problem,” Andrew leans forward to kiss him right on his sugary lips. They break apart for a second and smile at one another before going back in again.

"Oh my God."

It’s a loud, deep voice -a man’s voice- coming from one of the tables a few feet behind the stool on which Jesse is sitting.

"Did you just see that?"

Andrew glances up, over Jesse’s shoulder, and finds two guys looking their way. The first is larger, in a leather jacket, and seems completely repulsed -sickened to his stomach. Since it’s so badly lit in this place, it’s difficult to make out the exact details of their faces, but Andrew can tell that the second, smaller and skinnier of the two, is more than a little confused. “See what?"

The first guy looks to his buddy and points over at Andrew and Jesse as if they‘re animals in a zoo, or aliens that are unable to understand a word of what he‘s saying. "Those two guys totally just kissed."

"No way!"

"I swear to God, they just kissed."

The second guy screws up his face and looks away, as if he‘s got a bad taste in his mouth. He takes a sip of his beer, straight from the bottle. "That is fucking disgusting."

"I know, right."

Almost instantly, Andrew feels a hot bubble of rage building up inside of his stomach, he can feel the heat rising. If looks could kill Andrew would have killed them off as soon as he laid eyes on them. How can they sit there and say such awful things so loudly that everyone can hear? How can they those things at all? How dare they refer to Andrew and Jesse’s relationship as ‘disgusting’? They’re disgusting! Andrew’s shaking from head to toe, about ready to explode.

Jesse notices soon enough, and reaches out to take one of Andrew‘s hands, speaking in quiet, soothing tones. "Ignore them."

"Oh shit, now they're holding hands."

“Jesus, why do they have to do shit like that in public?” It’s the deep voice of the larger guy, spitting out this poison. “It’s sick.”

Andrew pulls his hand from Jesse’s, not because he’s embarrassed to be seen with him, but because he’s planning to walk out from behind this bar, march over there, and tear their homophobic heads off with his bare hands. He turns stiffly, his eyes never leaving them, and starts walking.

“Andrew!” Faster than a speeding bullet, Jesse dives over the bar and grabs his wrist tight. Andrew looks down. Jesse‘s big, blue eyes are boring straight into his, there‘s a look of mild terror on his face. “Don’t.”

Andrew lets out a long sigh, and walks back over to his boyfriend, his rigid stance softening almost instantly.

“I mean, at least the little guy actually looks like one, but the other guy… fucking hell.”

“I know.” The larger one cranes his neck and cups a hand to his mouth, addressing Andrew as he laughs. “Hey Pal, what’s up? Couldn’t get any girls so you went for the next best thing? Actually no, even you could have done better.”

“That’s it, I’m saying something.” Andrew slaps his hands down onto the bar, shaking his head violently. They can say all they want about him, but they‘re definitely not allowed to start on Jesse. “I’ll get my boss to kick them out.”

“No, leave it,” Jesse whispers frantically. “It’s okay.”

Andrew rolls his eyes, exasperated. “Jess, they’re making fun of you.”

“I really don’t care. I’ve dealt with this before. Believe me, it’s best to just let them get on with it,” Jesse nods. “They’ll get bored eventually.”

Clearly not, because they carry on. The smaller guy decides to throw his two cents in. “He might as well be a girl, look at the size of him.”

“Yeah. You know, maybe he is a girl.” The other, slightly more loud-mouthed of the two adds. “Looks like we got it all wrong, they’re straight after all. That‘s a relief!”

“Fuck this.”

Andrew slams his fist down onto the bar with so much force that Jesse’s glass actually rattles. Ignoring everyone else around him, focussing on one thing and one thing only -that is, getting these two assholes out of here- he walks out from behind the bar and makes a beeline straight for them.

“Andrew don’t,” Jesse pleads, spinning on his stool as Andrew walks straight by him. “Please, just leave it!”

Andrew doesn‘t listen, and continues to march over towards the two offenders. Not giving a flying fuck about his size, Andrew chooses to confront the larger of the two, definitely not the lesser of two evils. Andrew‘s so close now that he‘s practically towering over the guy, up close it seems that he has the kind of face that just asks for a punch. An arrogant, smarmy, egotistical kind of face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

The entire bar falls straight into silence, it appears that every single person in the room is watching the scene unfold, someone has even gone to the trouble of turning the music off. Andrew can feel up to a hundred pairs of eyes on his back, but he doesn’t care.

The guy just laughs in Andrew‘s face, leaning further back in his chair, clearly unfazed. “What’s wrong with me? Jesus, have you seen who you’re dating?”

“He’s a million times better than anyone you’d ever be with,” Andrew says through gritted teeth, seething.

“Ha!” The guy looks past his adversary and eyes Jesse for a second before looking back to Andrew with a smug smile on his face. “I doubt it.”

Before he has even realised what he’s doing, Andrew’s right fist is raised, ready to strike. And for once, the guy actually looks a little scared of him.

Jesse‘s screaming now. “Andrew!”

Andrew’s never heard Jesse sound that way before, it’s actually really scary, hearing Jesse so frightened. It’s chilling. Without moving his arm, Andrew looks over his shoulder and finds that Jesse is only a couple of feet away, stood up, arms outstretched as if he wants to do something but he‘s not quite sure what. Andrew gulps guiltily as he looks at him, he‘s almost in tears. It‘s his fault that Jesse looks that way, and for that, Andrew loathes himself.

“I’m asking you for the last time,” Jesse chokes out. “Please stop.”

As if broken out of a deep trance, Andrew lets his fist drop, and turns to walk away. All he wants to do right now is take Jesse into his arms, apologise, and tell him that everything’s going to be okay.

But that guy? He just won‘t let it go.

“Ha! Now we know who wears the pants in this freak show.”

“Yeah, Andrew,” his friend says, “listen to your little girlfriend and shut the fuck up.”

“He’s got you whipped… fucking fa-”

Andrew doesn’t give him a chance to finish as he spins on the spot and smacks the guy straight in the face. People scream and dart out of the way as he falls backwards and out of his chair, landing sprawled out on the floor behind him. His nose is bleeding violently, dripping down onto his shirt, he lifts a hand in the hope of stopping it. He seems partly terrified and partly enraged as Andrew stares down at him in triumph, filled with adrenalin.

“Andrew!” It’s Jesse grabbing his arm, attempting to pull him away.

The guy‘s friend is on his knees, helping his buddy to his feet. He looks to Andrew, horrified, and yells, “What the fuck?!”

“We’re leaving," Jesse says sternly, finally succeeding in getting Andrew to move. “Now.”

The two homophobes are still yelling after them as they leave, and every patron of the bar watches, concerned, as they exit. Jesse drags Andrew along behind him, trying his best to get out of there as quickly as possible. It’s like trying to get a toddler out of a toy-store, as Andrew stares back at the carnage he’s brought about. Now it’s his turn to smile smugly. Jesse gives his arm one final, rough tug to get him right out of the door and onto the street outside.

Jesse lets go of Andrew’s wrist and fumbles around in his jeans pocket to get his car keys out as he walks around to the driver's side. Luckily he’d decided to park right outside of the doors tonight. “Thank God I thought to bring Brian,“ he says mainly to himself at first. Then, unlocking the car and addressing Andrew without really looking at him, he says, “get in. We need to leave before any one comes out here.”

Andrew climbs in, he‘s smiling brightly, blood pumping energetically in his veins. He showed them!

“That was crazy, wasn’t it?” Andrew says happily, watching as Jesse gets the car started and pulls out onto the street.

“Hmm,” Jesse mumbles as he looks out of the windshield, the streetlights outside lighting up his expressionless face as he drives. He‘s clearly in shock, Andrew concludes.

The pair of them say nothing for the rest of the drive back to Jesse’s. Jesse concentrates on his driving, going as quickly as he can whilst keeping within the speed limit, and Andrew just keeps replaying that scene that happened minutes ago over and over in his mind. He loved it, the way the guy’s face fell as he was hit, the satisfying smack as he hit the floor. It was the very least that he deserved, for what he’d said.

They reach Jesse’s apartment in less than ten minutes, and Jesse is still refusing to speak. He lets Andrew in, then heads straight to his room, pulling his button down off as he goes, revealing the t-shirt underneath. It appears that he’s getting ready for bed.

“Are you okay?” Andrew calls, taking a seat on the couch.

“Not really, no.”

“I understand completely,” Andrew says, shaking his head. He’s finally starting to feel calm, the adrenalin is dissipating. “What they were saying was just awful. I can’t believe that in this day and age-”

“It’s not them.”

Andrew looks up, Jesse is standing in the doorway of his room. His face is still without expression, and his voice monotonous, but Andrew can see his nostrils flaring, and his little hands are balled up into angry fists. He’s pissed, Andrew can tell.

“Wait…” Andrew stands up slowly, walks towards him “…are you mad at me?”

Jesse rolls his eyes. “Yes. Of course I fucking am.”

Andrew feels as though he’s been shoved straight in the solar plexus, as if all of the air has been sucked out of him. He’s shocked and confused, blinking dumbly. “Why?”

“Andrew, you just punched a guy in the face,” Jesse’s voice is high-pitched with anger. “He was bleeding, what if you broke his nose? He could press charges, you know. What if your boss fires you?”

Andrew laughs humourlessly. “I cannot believe that, of all people, you’ve decided to be pissed at me. I was provoked, and besides, I was only sticking up for you.”

“Well, I don’t need you to do that.”

“I’m your boyfriend, Jesse!” Andrew yells, gesturing to himself. “I’m supposed to stick up for you.”

“Yeah?” Jesse nods, taking a few steps forward. He pokes Andrew hard in the chest. “Well, I’m your boyfriend, and you’re supposed to listen to me. I told you three times to just leave it and you didn’t. I was practically begging you, but you went ahead and did it anyway.”

“He deserved it! Those things he was saying -about you, especially- were disgusting. I, for one, wasn’t prepared to accept it, and you shouldn’t have been either. I thought you‘d appreciate it.”

“Andrew, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, I’m not a child! Or maybe you agree with them? Maybe you think I’m this frail, weak, poor excuse for a guy, that I need to be protected. I‘ve dealt with people like them before, I know what to do.”

“I cannot believe you, how arrogant you can be sometimes,” Andrew says quietly, shaking his head with disgust. “Jesse, did you ever think that maybe I wasn’t just sticking up for you? You act like you’re the only gay guy in the world to be the victim of verbal abuse. Well, you’re not. In terms of your sexuality, you’re not special or different, there are plenty of other gay people out there that deal with shit like that every day, yet you make out like you’re the only one, as if stuff like that doesn’t affect me too. Well, it does. I wasn’t just sticking up for you in there, I was sticking up for me as well, because what they said hurt me too.”

Now it’s Jesse's turn to look as though he’s been smacked in the face. For a moment, it looks as though he’s ready to say something, but he just gapes, staring at Andrew in silence because he knows that everything Andrew just said was true. He’s got nothing to say to that, no insults to throw back at him. Andrew’s got him.

“I think maybe we should just talk about this tomorrow, when we‘re calmer.” He says finally, his voice small. “We should sleep on it.”

Andrew sighs in relief, and takes his jacket off ready to enter Jesse’s room and climb into bed with him. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

But, Jesse doesn‘t move. “Andrew, I think you should go home.”

“You don’t want me here?” Andrew frowns, hurt.

Jesse won’t even look at him as he says it. “Not tonight.”

“Fine.” Andrew sniffs, grabs his jacket, and turns to leave. “Whatever.”

(266)

For such a small person, Jesse can walk ridiculously fast. Andrew can barely keep up with him as he rushes around the Home Audio section in Best Buy, he actually has to stop and catch his breath a few times, meaning that Jesse ends up even further ahead.

Jesse’s practically running from excitement because today, he’s going to be buying Andrew that record player he’d promised him months ago.

Leaning against a shelving unit at the end of the aisle, Andrew looks up with relief to find that Jesse has finally come to a halt, he’s stood in front of a row of vinyl players, all different shapes and sizes. Some are encased in wooden boxes to make them look old-fashioned, some a more modern, minimal and made of steel - those are probably designed for DJ’s. Andrew starts walking again, and eventually joins him.

Jesse points at one of the more old-fashioned looking ones, smiling. “How about this one?”

Andrew feels his eyes widen as he inspects the price tag, and shakes his head. “Jesse, look how expensive it is, I couldn’t possibly let you buy me that.”

“But I want to, I promised. Plus, I didn’t get you a proper gift for you birthday.”

“Yes, you did.” Andrew smiles to himself, thinking back to that very, very nice uh… gift Jesse gave him on his birthday last month, better than anything money could buy.

“Still, I promised I’d get you a record player once we‘d got hold of all those Green Day records for you, which we did, so I’m going to buy you this one,” Jesse says, stamping his foot to finalise his decision.

“At least let me pick out a cheaper one,” Andrew replies, checking out the others on display. “I don’t want you wasting your money on me.”

“I wouldn’t be wasting money, those records would sound incredible on this baby,“ Jesse gently pats the one he’s hoping to purchase today, gazing at Andrew with this very patronising look on his face. “You shouldn‘t scrimp when it comes to a decent sound system.” Andrew just stares at him, Jesse rolls his eyes in defeat. “Fine, pick out whichever one you want.”

“Thank you.” Andrew points to one of the smaller items on display, black with a plastic casing. “Okay, how about this one?”

Jesse just stares at him like he‘s an idiot. “It’s just a record player.”

“I thought that was what we were looking for?”

“Yeah, but the one I picked out had a CD player built into it, and a USB port so you can hook your iPod up to it.”

“I already have a CD player with a build-in iPod dock, so don’t you think it’d be a little superfluous to buy a record player with all that stuff too?”

“But with this one,” Jesse says, returning to the one in the wooden casing, putting on his best ‘persuasive salesman‘ voice, “you’d have everything you’d ever need, music-wise. It’s space saving, good for environment.”

“It‘s not good for the environment when you consider the fact that if you bought it for me, I‘d have to throw my old CD player away. It’s also expensive.”

It‘s clear that Jesse‘s getting a little annoyed now. “Andrew, will you just let me buy you a gift?”

“I am letting you.”

“As gift-giver, I should be allowed to choose what I buy, and I want to get you this one.”

“Okay, okay, but can I at least buy you something in return?”

“Like what?” Jesse asks, intrigued.

“I could get you a TV,” Andrew suggests.

“Andrew…”

“What?“ Andrew shrugs. “You can get them ridiculously cheap these days.”

“But I don’t want one,” Jesse says, blunt.

“Alright, how about some DVD’s? You can play them on your laptop. I could get you Crimes & Misdemeanours, I could get you all of Woody Allen’s movies, that way you could watch them as much as you want, whenever you want.”

“I don’t want DVD’s, Andrew,” Jesse says, but looking at Andrew‘s saddened face, his tone brightens, and he smiles gratefully. “Thanks for the thought, but if I wanted them, I’d have them. I like seeing movies at the movie theatre, it’s better.”

“Good point,” Andrew says, watching as Jesse picks up a box containing what is soon going to be Andrew's very own record player. He shakes his head fondly. “You’re so weird.”

“I’m not weird.” Jesse shoves the box into Andrew’s arms, and begins to walk ahead of him again. “Here, carry this. I’m buying it so you could at least carry it.”

Andrew laughs again, beginning to follow. “Alright, but you are weird.”

“No, I’m not!” Jesse calls back.

“Yes, you are.”

Jesse stops walking, and turns around to face Andrew. “I’m weird because I don’t want a TV or DVD’s?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Andrew replies.

“It’s a little unorthodox, but it’s not weird,” Jesse turns around swiftly and continues to walk again.

“Okay, calm down,” Andrew rolls his eyes, still giggling, “no need to be so sensitive about it.”

(260)

It’s 2:34am, and Andrew’s still awake, staring at the clock as he lays -in the fetal position- on his bed. His eyes feel dry and painful, but he hasn’t even tried to sleep yet, he’s too upset for that, angry too. He’d walked all the way back to his place in the rain, ripped his jacket off, thrown it hard at the wall, and got straight into bed. Well, not into it, but onto it. He’s kept all of his clothes on, even his shoes. He’s still wet from the rain, even now, but that’s not bothering him too much.

He just can’t process it. That he and Jesse have just had their first fight. Truth be told, he wasn’t expecting this at all. Andrew had always figured that he and Jesse were just too perfect for that, a match made in heaven. Soul mates, or whatever. Soul mates don’t fight. But they just have, so maybe they’re not so perfect for one another after all.

Wait, he’s not wrong, it’s just that idea that’s wrong. This fight doesn’t mean that they’re not perfect for one another. So they’ve had one fight? Big deal, all couples fight. This just means that they’re normal, and that things are healthy. If they agreed on everything all the time, things would get boring and monotonous. Though, that’s not to say that he’s happy about this. Next to his clock, sits his cell phone, and he’s staring at that too. He wants one of two things. Either, for Jesse to call, or for enough courage to pick up the phone and call him himself.

Except, right now, neither of those things appear to be happening for him any time soon, the few hours that he’s been home have felt like days, just laying here, staring and waiting, listening to the rain outside as it batters his bedroom window. He’s got a feeling that this entire night is going to stretch on for what feels like years. It’s going to be the longest night of his life. What a night to feel this awful.

Jesse’s probably asleep right now anyway, tucked up in bed, clean, warm and dry. To him, Andrew was the one in the wrong, so he’s got absolutely nothing to worry about.

Knock, knock.

Andrew sits bolt upright, heart racing in his chest, breathing heavily, listening hard, waiting for that sound to come again. And it does! It’s a quiet sound, tentative, and before Andrew has even got up to answer the door, he knows who it’s going to be.

He rushes to his feet and races into the living room to open the door, and he‘s there! Looking beautiful as ever despite the fact that he‘s drenched. Andrew cannot remember the last time he felt this happy and relieved.

“Hi,” Jesse whispers, leaning against the door-frame in an oversized hoodie and the jeans he was wearing before.

Andrew smiles, just a tiny bit. “Hey.”

Jesse always looks so unexpectedly stunning when he’s wet -cheeks and nose pink, lips fuller and more red from the cold, his hair soaked into perfect curls- like that time when they were in the shower together, like now, after having walked half a mile in the pouring rain. He could have driven quite easily, Andrew thinks, but perhaps he wanted to experience exactly what Andrew had experienced on the way here. He looks sorry, and Andrew can tell that he hasn’t slept tonight either.

He reaches out with one shaking hand, and grips the front of Andrew‘s shirt, speaking quietly to keep him there. To keep him from running away or slamming the door in his face. “I’m, I’m really sorry for being such a jerk.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he interjects, looking Andrew dead in the eye as a way of letting him know that he means this. “I shouldn’t have done that, you didn’t deserve it. I over-reacted, and I guess I just didn’t fully understand why you did it. You were right, you were only sticking up for me… for the both of us. You might not have gone about it in the best way, but you just did what you thought was right, and you were upset enough as it was. I shouldn’t have yelled at you on top of that, or kicked you out… I’m so sorry.”

Without any word of warning, Andrew reaches both arms out and pulls Jesse through the door and into his body, hugging him tight to his chest. Jesse wraps his arms around Andrew‘s waist as he speaks into his hair.

“I’m sorry too, for not listening to you,” Andrew whispers.

“I love you.”

Andrew stiffens, inexplicably unable to breathe. If he hadn’t felt the vibrations of Jesse’s voice rumble into his chest, he wouldn’t have believed that he’d said it at all. He said it, he actually said it and meant it! Andrew squeezes him tighter, he feels more for Jesse than he’s ever felt for anyone throughout his entire life. He can’t believe that he’s actually found him. The one.

“I love you too,” Andrew replies quietly, so happy he could sing. After a moment, he adds, “you want to come in?”

He feels Jesse nod against his chest. “Yes please.”

~

Part Five
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