(no subject)
Title: Self Employed Chemist[4/]
Author: i_am_the_broken
Pairing: Ferard
Rating: …Drugs, and sexual tendencies….
Disclaimer: No.
Summary: After finally moving past the drama of getting together the boys move in together but nothing could prepare them for the reality that is out to fuck them over.
[Previous Chapters Behind The Cut]
Frank I Need Your Help
You Don’t Fall Out Of Love With Someone
Early Morning Cigarette Fight
Gerard clocked out at 7 that night, having worked 13 hours making at least $250 in just tips. He was quite the polite host; he grinned to himself pocketing the money and walked out the door. The night air was an unwelcome surprise but it was better than waiting on snobby customers who, from just coming from church, were extremely rude inside of a sweaty claustrophobic restaurant. He pushed his coat further up on his shoulders and the day from his mind happy to get home to his Frank. He plucked a cigarette from the pack slightly frowning seeing it already half empty or half full he supposed.
He cut through the small park. There were swing sets nearest the apartments, and other play equipment a little farther back like teeter-totters, spring ponies, monkey bars that were obviously too tall for him, not for Frank though and slides. The grass was wet from the sprinklers wetting the tops of his shoes. He walked briskly through pausing at the swings for a moment before deciding getting back to the apartment to see Frank was more important, they could do that later.
When the elevator dinged at the fourth floor he forced himself to not to run down the hall his door considering the little old lady that lived across the hall from them was out and watching his every movement considering she had nothing else to do. He kept his eyes on his feet making sure they weren’t moving too fast or out of order also trying not make eye contact with the old lady otherwise she would force him onto an hour long conversation about her cat Ting-ting or Tong-tong or something extremely repetitive and knowing himself like he did, he would be too nice to end the horridly boring one-sided conversation.
Reaching his door he found it locked. Confused, he fumbled for the keys to unlock it. He walked in finding the whole place dark. Gerard flicked the light switch by the door calling out, “Hello? Guys I’m home.” There was no answer just a note on the countertop. Gerard, we went down to Bob’s mom’s for dinner. Didn’t know how late you were working so we didn’t wait up. Back soon. ♥ XX Frankie
Gerard sighed and frowned, “They could have called,”he thought kind of bitterly. The house was empty in an almost daunting way, leaving the ringing of silence in his ears. He collapsed on the couch letting himself sink into its lumpy cushions. His hair hung flatly in his face, dark eyes scanning the room for anything that might entertain his lonesome self. “TV? Nah, nothing on,” he muttered to himself, and he was too tired to focus on any video games they had. “Food? Maybe” He pried himself from the couch falling backwards into its hungry pit a couple times, unable to get a solid grip on the armrest. “Gah, fucking couch trying to eat me”, he cursed, stepping away from the carnivorous couch.
Gerard looked in the fridge, the pantry and the cupboards but nothing stroked his fancy. He groaned deciding that food was not entertainment. Staring out the window he saw the small park he cut through. Thoughts of childish fun filled his head. “Aha!” Gerard grabbed one of his pipes and packed it; if he was going to be alone he may as well make himself an interesting companion, plus the park was more interesting through different eyes.
He ran out the door not bothering to lock it, the little old lady was like a security alarm anyway, she knew who belonged there. The elevator came too slow but he waited as patiently as he could. When it dinged open he rushed out nearly knocking a tenant down. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Gerard quickly apologized not bothering to really look back and see if he was forgiven. He shrugged going out the back door at the end of the hall out to the park.
Gerard walked across the bark to the swing set. Sitting on the recycled rubber seat he brought the pipe up to his lips, first making sure there were no kids or parents about. Almost to his disappointment there wasn’t a soul to be seen and it was too dark for any of the apartment residents to see him.
He shrugged and lit the up. He held in the smoke, feeling it fill his lungs. He waited until he felt lightheaded to exhale coughing as he did so. His coughing fit went on for a couple minutes. “Fuck,” He coughed, obviously unable to catch his breath, “Would you like some?” He asked himself. “Why yes, yes I would.” Gerard held the pipe out to himself. He giggled quickly fascinated with the conversation he was having. “Well here, then have it. We’ll split it, just to the two of us, but don’t tell anyone. Pinky swears!” Gerard giggled pinky swearing that it was just for the two of him.
Gerard was definitely a light-weight.
He continued the conversation with himself talking about everything he saw; trees, budding flowers, and even a lonesome wrapper that sat dejectedly on the grass. Feeling a quick connection to the wrapper and seeing as the bowl was assed, he jumped off the swing and went to sit down next to it.
Looking closer, he found that it was a skittles wrapper, reminding him of Frank and how he left to go to Bob’s without him! “Hey there, how ya doing? I saw you were alone and uh so am I.” Gerard said leaning back on his elbows flicking his fringe to the side.
Silence.
“Why no I am not hitting on you! I have a wonderful boyfriend but thank you; you’re attractive as well.”
Silence again.
“What do you mean then where is he!?! He’s at Bob’s mom’s house for dinner!”
More silence.
“No, he’s not cheating on me! Bob is straight!”
The wrapper’s response angered Gerard this time.
“Why would my boyfriend and best friend be having an affair and let Ray in on it! Frank is a good man and he loves me and if he chooses not to…to…fuck me then maybe I need to lose my baby fat!”
The wrapper tried to console Gerard but it was no use.
“No! NO! I’m going to go be FAT somewhere else, you ASSHOLE!” Gerard cried. He jumped to his feet and stalked off back to the back door of the apartments. Tears filling his eyes, “What happened to the days where wrappers weren’t complete dicks to me? Stupid wrapper making me feel like shit,” He muttered dejectedly to himself. Gerard repeatedly poked the elevator button impatiently. Gerard looked at his reflection in the metal door. He poked and prodded his stomach and face, frowning. When he realized that the elevator door was just as rude as the wrapper he decided to yell at it. “You stupid fucker, stop insulting me! I never did anything to you! Why won’t you come!!!? COME!” His voice broke at the end but luckily no tears came, only strange looks from neighbors.
“Sounds like what you said last night babe,” A husky voice whispered in his ear seductively while two strong arms pulled Gerard into a firm body. Recognizing the voice as his Frankie, he relaxed back into his arms, feeling better that Frank was there to protect his fragile mind from the manipulative elevator
The elevator dinged open allowing the two lovers in. “Where’s Ray and Bob?” Gerard asked leaning his head back on Frank’s shoulder. Frank smiled and kissed Gerard on the forehead. “They, are staying at Bob’s mom’s house, meaning we have the house to ourselves.” Gerard grinned. The elevator dinged again this time on their floor. The couple hurried to their apartment, barely waiting for the door to close to attach themselves to each other.
Frank slammed Gerard against the door, crashing his lips together. Gerard’s arms snaked around his boyfriend’s waist and up his back while Frank’s hands immediately found themselves tangled in Gerard’s wind knotted hair.
Gerard pulled away, casting his eyes downward. Frank leaned his forehead against Gerard’s, “What’s the matter babe?” Gerard wrung his hands together nervously and sighed. “Hey,” Frank lifted Gerard’s face up so he could look into his eyes, “You can tell me.”
Gerard sighed again before deciding to come out with it, “How come you never fuck me?” Frank gaped, unsure of what he heard. “Wh-what?” Frank stuttered. “How. Come. You . Never. Fuck. Me. Am I repulsing or something?” Gerard cried, feeling too unattractive for his beautiful Frank.
Frank sighed this time, “Gee, baby, please don’t start this! You’re not fat!” He pleaded, really not wanting to sleep on the couch seeing as it was highly uncomfortable. All he could do was dig a grave for himself in these arguments considering Gerard would twist his words around. Couch it is”
“Then what am I Frank, chubby! Or wait what it that you call me, oh right voluptuous! ” Gerard stalked to the other side of the kitchen counter putting space between them. Frank followed him, trying to reason.
Frank knew Gerard was going to bring that up, in Frank’s opinion, being voluptuous was quite endearing, it meant Gerard had curves, Frank like his curves. Sure Gerard wasn’t stick thin but he was almost there. The only thing Gerard had was, well, small love handles. “Gerard you’re beautiful. I really wish you stop obsessing over your weight, you’re perfect.” Frank went around to the other side of the counter to put his arms around his distressed boyfriend. “I wouldn’t like it if you were twig thin, I mean, look at me; I wish I could gain weight! I’m too skinny Gee! You don’t want to be like that, not when you’re wonderful just the way you are.”Frank nuzzled Gerard’s neck worriedly.
Frank had noticed Gerard getting thinner and thinner over the weeks and he knew he hadn’t been eating. He was awake every time Gerard woke up for work and he never heard him stop long enough to even grab a bagel. It was always shower, dress, kiss, leave. Frank didn’t want to think that Gerard was purposely not eating, but if he got any thinner there was definitely going to be an argument.
There was a silence that Frank was enjoying very much until Gerard broke it, “You still haven’t answered my question Frank.” Frank groaned and ran his hand through his hair. He sighed and turned away, starting to walk down the hall. Something hit him in the middle of his back, turning to look back at Gerard; he’d thrown a lighter at him. Frank laughed, just picking it up and tossing it back to him. Gerard just pouted, pocketing the lighter again, “I want an answer Frankie.” He begged.
Frank crumbled under the pressure that was Gerard’s begging. Leaning against the hallway wall he started, “I really don’t know Gerard, I really don’t,” Gerard looked flabbergasted, “I guess its cause, I don’t know, I don’t want to hurt you and to be completely fucking honest, I’m scared to. I know you don’t want to hear this Gerard but any time I ever fucked a guy, I was shit faced and so were they and I don’t even know if I’m any good and I want it to be really good for you.” Frank just sighed hoping that’s all he was going to have to say.
“How are you going to get good if you don’t know what’s wrong? Cause I’ll tell you now, practicing with pie is nothing like the real thing, Mikey found that out the hard way with Alicia.” Gerard laughed.
“What the fuck? There’s something wrong with that kid.” Frank walked into the bathroom and shut the door staring into the mirror hoping that his eyes weren’t too bloodshot and that Gerard hadn’t noticed. Frank reached down for the toilet paper dispenser and ripped off a couple sheets, using them to blow his nose. He sniffed loudly a couple times before throwing the tissue in the wastebasket. Taking a good look at himself he was positive that Gerard still hadn’t noticed.
Frank walked out and sat next to Gerard on the couch. Gerard had his head hung lowly obviously staring at what he had gripped in his hands, almost not believing. Frank noticed that his jacked was draped across Gerard’s legs and cursed, “Gee that is definitely not what it looks like.”
Author: i_am_the_broken
Pairing: Ferard
Rating: …Drugs, and sexual tendencies….
Disclaimer: No.
Summary: After finally moving past the drama of getting together the boys move in together but nothing could prepare them for the reality that is out to fuck them over.
[Previous Chapters Behind The Cut]
Frank I Need Your Help
You Don’t Fall Out Of Love With Someone
Early Morning Cigarette Fight
Gerard clocked out at 7 that night, having worked 13 hours making at least $250 in just tips. He was quite the polite host; he grinned to himself pocketing the money and walked out the door. The night air was an unwelcome surprise but it was better than waiting on snobby customers who, from just coming from church, were extremely rude inside of a sweaty claustrophobic restaurant. He pushed his coat further up on his shoulders and the day from his mind happy to get home to his Frank. He plucked a cigarette from the pack slightly frowning seeing it already half empty or half full he supposed.
He cut through the small park. There were swing sets nearest the apartments, and other play equipment a little farther back like teeter-totters, spring ponies, monkey bars that were obviously too tall for him, not for Frank though and slides. The grass was wet from the sprinklers wetting the tops of his shoes. He walked briskly through pausing at the swings for a moment before deciding getting back to the apartment to see Frank was more important, they could do that later.
When the elevator dinged at the fourth floor he forced himself to not to run down the hall his door considering the little old lady that lived across the hall from them was out and watching his every movement considering she had nothing else to do. He kept his eyes on his feet making sure they weren’t moving too fast or out of order also trying not make eye contact with the old lady otherwise she would force him onto an hour long conversation about her cat Ting-ting or Tong-tong or something extremely repetitive and knowing himself like he did, he would be too nice to end the horridly boring one-sided conversation.
Reaching his door he found it locked. Confused, he fumbled for the keys to unlock it. He walked in finding the whole place dark. Gerard flicked the light switch by the door calling out, “Hello? Guys I’m home.” There was no answer just a note on the countertop. Gerard, we went down to Bob’s mom’s for dinner. Didn’t know how late you were working so we didn’t wait up. Back soon. ♥ XX Frankie
Gerard sighed and frowned, “They could have called,”he thought kind of bitterly. The house was empty in an almost daunting way, leaving the ringing of silence in his ears. He collapsed on the couch letting himself sink into its lumpy cushions. His hair hung flatly in his face, dark eyes scanning the room for anything that might entertain his lonesome self. “TV? Nah, nothing on,” he muttered to himself, and he was too tired to focus on any video games they had. “Food? Maybe” He pried himself from the couch falling backwards into its hungry pit a couple times, unable to get a solid grip on the armrest. “Gah, fucking couch trying to eat me”, he cursed, stepping away from the carnivorous couch.
Gerard looked in the fridge, the pantry and the cupboards but nothing stroked his fancy. He groaned deciding that food was not entertainment. Staring out the window he saw the small park he cut through. Thoughts of childish fun filled his head. “Aha!” Gerard grabbed one of his pipes and packed it; if he was going to be alone he may as well make himself an interesting companion, plus the park was more interesting through different eyes.
He ran out the door not bothering to lock it, the little old lady was like a security alarm anyway, she knew who belonged there. The elevator came too slow but he waited as patiently as he could. When it dinged open he rushed out nearly knocking a tenant down. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Gerard quickly apologized not bothering to really look back and see if he was forgiven. He shrugged going out the back door at the end of the hall out to the park.
Gerard walked across the bark to the swing set. Sitting on the recycled rubber seat he brought the pipe up to his lips, first making sure there were no kids or parents about. Almost to his disappointment there wasn’t a soul to be seen and it was too dark for any of the apartment residents to see him.
He shrugged and lit the up. He held in the smoke, feeling it fill his lungs. He waited until he felt lightheaded to exhale coughing as he did so. His coughing fit went on for a couple minutes. “Fuck,” He coughed, obviously unable to catch his breath, “Would you like some?” He asked himself. “Why yes, yes I would.” Gerard held the pipe out to himself. He giggled quickly fascinated with the conversation he was having. “Well here, then have it. We’ll split it, just to the two of us, but don’t tell anyone. Pinky swears!” Gerard giggled pinky swearing that it was just for the two of him.
Gerard was definitely a light-weight.
He continued the conversation with himself talking about everything he saw; trees, budding flowers, and even a lonesome wrapper that sat dejectedly on the grass. Feeling a quick connection to the wrapper and seeing as the bowl was assed, he jumped off the swing and went to sit down next to it.
Looking closer, he found that it was a skittles wrapper, reminding him of Frank and how he left to go to Bob’s without him! “Hey there, how ya doing? I saw you were alone and uh so am I.” Gerard said leaning back on his elbows flicking his fringe to the side.
Silence.
“Why no I am not hitting on you! I have a wonderful boyfriend but thank you; you’re attractive as well.”
Silence again.
“What do you mean then where is he!?! He’s at Bob’s mom’s house for dinner!”
More silence.
“No, he’s not cheating on me! Bob is straight!”
The wrapper’s response angered Gerard this time.
“Why would my boyfriend and best friend be having an affair and let Ray in on it! Frank is a good man and he loves me and if he chooses not to…to…fuck me then maybe I need to lose my baby fat!”
The wrapper tried to console Gerard but it was no use.
“No! NO! I’m going to go be FAT somewhere else, you ASSHOLE!” Gerard cried. He jumped to his feet and stalked off back to the back door of the apartments. Tears filling his eyes, “What happened to the days where wrappers weren’t complete dicks to me? Stupid wrapper making me feel like shit,” He muttered dejectedly to himself. Gerard repeatedly poked the elevator button impatiently. Gerard looked at his reflection in the metal door. He poked and prodded his stomach and face, frowning. When he realized that the elevator door was just as rude as the wrapper he decided to yell at it. “You stupid fucker, stop insulting me! I never did anything to you! Why won’t you come!!!? COME!” His voice broke at the end but luckily no tears came, only strange looks from neighbors.
“Sounds like what you said last night babe,” A husky voice whispered in his ear seductively while two strong arms pulled Gerard into a firm body. Recognizing the voice as his Frankie, he relaxed back into his arms, feeling better that Frank was there to protect his fragile mind from the manipulative elevator
The elevator dinged open allowing the two lovers in. “Where’s Ray and Bob?” Gerard asked leaning his head back on Frank’s shoulder. Frank smiled and kissed Gerard on the forehead. “They, are staying at Bob’s mom’s house, meaning we have the house to ourselves.” Gerard grinned. The elevator dinged again this time on their floor. The couple hurried to their apartment, barely waiting for the door to close to attach themselves to each other.
Frank slammed Gerard against the door, crashing his lips together. Gerard’s arms snaked around his boyfriend’s waist and up his back while Frank’s hands immediately found themselves tangled in Gerard’s wind knotted hair.
Gerard pulled away, casting his eyes downward. Frank leaned his forehead against Gerard’s, “What’s the matter babe?” Gerard wrung his hands together nervously and sighed. “Hey,” Frank lifted Gerard’s face up so he could look into his eyes, “You can tell me.”
Gerard sighed again before deciding to come out with it, “How come you never fuck me?” Frank gaped, unsure of what he heard. “Wh-what?” Frank stuttered. “How. Come. You . Never. Fuck. Me. Am I repulsing or something?” Gerard cried, feeling too unattractive for his beautiful Frank.
Frank sighed this time, “Gee, baby, please don’t start this! You’re not fat!” He pleaded, really not wanting to sleep on the couch seeing as it was highly uncomfortable. All he could do was dig a grave for himself in these arguments considering Gerard would twist his words around. Couch it is”
“Then what am I Frank, chubby! Or wait what it that you call me, oh right voluptuous! ” Gerard stalked to the other side of the kitchen counter putting space between them. Frank followed him, trying to reason.
Frank knew Gerard was going to bring that up, in Frank’s opinion, being voluptuous was quite endearing, it meant Gerard had curves, Frank like his curves. Sure Gerard wasn’t stick thin but he was almost there. The only thing Gerard had was, well, small love handles. “Gerard you’re beautiful. I really wish you stop obsessing over your weight, you’re perfect.” Frank went around to the other side of the counter to put his arms around his distressed boyfriend. “I wouldn’t like it if you were twig thin, I mean, look at me; I wish I could gain weight! I’m too skinny Gee! You don’t want to be like that, not when you’re wonderful just the way you are.”Frank nuzzled Gerard’s neck worriedly.
Frank had noticed Gerard getting thinner and thinner over the weeks and he knew he hadn’t been eating. He was awake every time Gerard woke up for work and he never heard him stop long enough to even grab a bagel. It was always shower, dress, kiss, leave. Frank didn’t want to think that Gerard was purposely not eating, but if he got any thinner there was definitely going to be an argument.
There was a silence that Frank was enjoying very much until Gerard broke it, “You still haven’t answered my question Frank.” Frank groaned and ran his hand through his hair. He sighed and turned away, starting to walk down the hall. Something hit him in the middle of his back, turning to look back at Gerard; he’d thrown a lighter at him. Frank laughed, just picking it up and tossing it back to him. Gerard just pouted, pocketing the lighter again, “I want an answer Frankie.” He begged.
Frank crumbled under the pressure that was Gerard’s begging. Leaning against the hallway wall he started, “I really don’t know Gerard, I really don’t,” Gerard looked flabbergasted, “I guess its cause, I don’t know, I don’t want to hurt you and to be completely fucking honest, I’m scared to. I know you don’t want to hear this Gerard but any time I ever fucked a guy, I was shit faced and so were they and I don’t even know if I’m any good and I want it to be really good for you.” Frank just sighed hoping that’s all he was going to have to say.
“How are you going to get good if you don’t know what’s wrong? Cause I’ll tell you now, practicing with pie is nothing like the real thing, Mikey found that out the hard way with Alicia.” Gerard laughed.
“What the fuck? There’s something wrong with that kid.” Frank walked into the bathroom and shut the door staring into the mirror hoping that his eyes weren’t too bloodshot and that Gerard hadn’t noticed. Frank reached down for the toilet paper dispenser and ripped off a couple sheets, using them to blow his nose. He sniffed loudly a couple times before throwing the tissue in the wastebasket. Taking a good look at himself he was positive that Gerard still hadn’t noticed.
Frank walked out and sat next to Gerard on the couch. Gerard had his head hung lowly obviously staring at what he had gripped in his hands, almost not believing. Frank noticed that his jacked was draped across Gerard’s legs and cursed, “Gee that is definitely not what it looks like.”