Fic: Terra Firma
Laura stood and walked closer to the fire to warm her hands. It was pitch black now, and the stars had finally pricked through the night sky to gleam in all their glory. Shining brightly, heedless of the tragedy of the people who once floated and spun among them on this small planet. She had insisted on staying on Earth, despite the crushing barrenness of their surroundings, and the uselessness of her presence, until dark. She wanted to see the stars of her people for herself. She wanted to feel the presence of every tribe - all lost now - all burned to ash in the fires of man himself. She wanted to say goodbye.
The heat of the flames eased the stiff ache in her fingers, but she still shivered from the awful cold. Her body was too thin and weak for these conditions, but she did not care. This was likely her only chance to do this. Cottle would almost certainly forbid a return to the surface. The radiation, the harsh temperatures, and the possibility for infection were all serious threats to her fragile health. And, in truth, she had no desire to come back. This place was broken. Like her. Now it was time for her to make her peace with it.
Having warmed herself as much as she could, she quietly stepped away and wandered into the dark to see her brothers and sisters in the sky. When far enough away from the others to be safely alone, she sat down, pulling her knees to her chest, hugging them for warmth, and then looked up into the night, searching for the first of her lost friends. They were harder to see than they had been in Athena’s Tomb. Of course, for that had been the Earth of her dreams. The Earth of divine promise rather than human limitation. The Earth not yet destroyed by humanity’s grasping, reckless hand. The reproach for her own kind that filled her with that last thought was so powerful that she could even taste its bitterness on her tongue. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on her knees. Perhaps she wasn’t strong enough to look upon the truth. She wanted her innocence back.
--//--
It was so beautiful. They were on Earth. They had found the map, and it was nothing like she expected. It wasn’t a chart, but a place, and it was alive all around them. The soft breeze whispered through the high grass, inviting her home, promising them they’d all be welcome here once they made their way. She felt the past and the future at once, splashed across the heavens above her and solid beneath her feet. Harmony. Relief swept through her as she continued to drink in the sky. All the things she’d done. Promises broken. Families separated. Lives risked. Blood offered in sacrifice to this place. It had been worth it. She had been right. And now they would find their way home. She was not sure if it was minutes or merely seconds that they had stood there, all wondering at their discovery, when Kara’s laugh broke the silence.
“What’s so funny Starbuck?” Bill asked.
“Sir, it’s just that, well now that we have the map, how exactly do we get out of here?” she answered.
Lee laughed now. “It would seem that the map does not come with an exit sign.” They all looked around in puzzlement.
At that moment, Kara began to run toward the icons of the constellations in the distance. “Let’s see how far this goes,” she shouted, still laughing. She turned back after several loping steps and waved. “Come on. It may be a while before Earth is beneath our feet again.”
Lee took off after her. Racing her to the horizon. They shouted at each other as they went. Bill shouldered his weapon and marched out a ways after them. Laura could hear him muttering beneath his breath. But she knew he was smiling as he set out.
She was smiling too. She was happy to see him reunited with his children. She had never meant to take them from him. She sat down in the grass. She decided to thank the Gods. She closed her eyes, and in them she saw Elosha smiling back at her. As she began her silent prayer, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Billy had sat down beside her. She looked at him. His eyes were bright, but also gentle. His eyes were always gentle. “Billy, I am so glad you are here with me.”
“I am glad too, Madame President,” he answered.
“So what do you make of all this?” she asked, motioning to the heavens. She knew he was a skeptic, but this moment was beyond all the neat boundaries of rationality.
“Honestly, Madame President, I don’t know. It’s … overwhelming,” he had paused a bit searching for the word. “But there is one thing that I am certain of.”
“What’s that Billy?”
“That I will always believe in you. You are going to do it, Madame President. You and the Commander are going to take us there … here,” he said pointing to the ground. “To our new home. Of that I have no doubt. And you know what the best part is?”
“What’s that Billy?” she asked again.
“We will be a family when we get there.”
His earnestness and simple wisdom filled her heart with love. She reached out and touched his cheek. “Family,” she said as she did so. Her smiled widened as she felt a blush warming his cheek and watched him bashfully dip his head ever so slightly into her touch. It will be easy to die for him she told herself.
“Keikeya!” Kara’s voice carried over the distance. They looked up and saw the pilot waving to them with one hand, and playfully wrestling Lee, who was now beside her, with the other. “Come on. You are falling behind. The Old Man says we have to march a perimeter and find a way out.”
“Go,” she said as Billy looked at her questioningly. He stood and took a few measured steps, and then began to run, letting out a whoop as he did. ‘Still a boy,’ she thought, as she watched him go, seeing him wave to Bill in some weak imitation of a salute as they passed each other, the Commander now making his way back in her direction. She started to stand as he approached her.
“No sit,” he said. “Let the kids do the work.” As he reached her, he sat down beside her. He smiled at her and then looked up into the night. “Amazing,” he said.
“Yes, amazing,” she answered. They were silent for a moment, resting beneath the blanket of stars. Warming under their promise.
“Thank you, Laura,” he said breaking the quiet, “for making this all possible.” He looked at her intensely, drawing her eyes to him, speaking again when he had them. “First you saved my life, and now you’ve made an honest man out of me.” His smile widened at her quizzical expression. “Before I was a liar. I promised Earth to my people with no intention of keeping my word. I had good reasons, but still it was a betrayal. Because of you, I will never have to break faith with them. Because of you, I can keep my vow. That’s a gift I will neither forget, nor dishonor. Ever. I promise.”
She believed him. He really had changed. She could see it. He had opened himself. Not just to possibility. But to his people as well. They would always be first to him now. She knew she could trust that. She had a true partner now in protecting and preserving their race. It was a wonderful relief. “I am the one that should be thanking you, Bill,” she offered in return.
“Why?” He looked at her puzzled.
“Because you made us a family again.” She felt a rush of emotion as she told him this, not even caring that a few tears slipped out.
He nodded warmly at her. “In the end, family is the only reason to live, to fight, to die, and to search,” he glanced around them in emphasis as he finished, “for the right place to rest.” He gathered a fistful of the ground beneath them and held it out for her to see. “We will make this our gift to them, Laura. Together.”
She was moved. She reached out and grasped his hand, tightening her grip when she felt his surprise at her gesture, and then relaxing it again when he returned her touch. The dirt mixed between their fingers like a blood vow. “Together,” she pledged. “For our family.” She looked into his eyes and saw that his conviction mirrored her own. She felt complete. She felt strong.
--//--
She heard her name. Echoing. It sounded far away at first, and then suddenly very close as she felt a hand on each of her shoulders. The touch was a warm shock against the unrelenting cold. She lifted her head and opened her eyes. She saw Bill looking at her with tender concern, as he knelt on the ground in front of her. For a moment, she wondered if she was still on the Earth of the Tomb of Athena, but her mind cleared as the cold continued to bite her flesh, and she realized she had been dreaming of a happier place, a better time. This was the nightmare Earth.
“You are cold,” Bill told her, rubbing her shoulders and then drawing one hand up to stroke her cheek. “You should not have strayed so far from the fire,” he chided, as he swept around her and gathered her fully in his arms from behind, warming her against him.
“I just wanted to get a good look at the stars,” she explained, looking up. “See the constellations for myself. Know once and for all,” she sighed, “that this is real.”
He looked up with her, as she rested her head against his cheek and leaned back into his shoulder. “I understand,” he said, his voice tired and tinged with his own sadness. “Do you want me to help you find them? They won’t be as easy to see as they were on Kobol.” He hugged her closer.
She closed her eyes, burrowing further into him as he held her tight. He was warm. And in spite of the ache of disappointment that had crushed her spirit and sapped her bones this day, she nevertheless felt safe in his arms. She felt loved. She felt complete. And it was in that moment that she suddenly understood the only truth that mattered. When Elosha told her to love someone, she had thought that opening her heart was the only way to find the path to Earth, the only way to be worthy of it. But now she knew better. Love was the end in itself. Earth was only a place to rest. They could find another, or they could stay and make something of this place if it was possible. So long as they were together, they would find a way. All of them. Wherever they would go, it only mattered that they were a family when they got there. Billy had been right all along. Family would be what would make wherever they settled a promised land.
“Bill,” she said at last, her voice stronger now.
“Yes?” he responded, his voice still quiet.
“I’ve just realized something. And I don’t need to look to the stars to see it. Bill, for all the pain and disappointment, this place is still a gift,” she explained, sitting up and turning to face him.
“How do you figure that?” he asked skeptically.
She reached out to him, taking his hands and pulling him up to his knees, so that they knelt facing each other once again, hands joined. “Because we were a family when we got here. And when the sun comes up tomorrow in this awful place, and it will without fail, we’ll still have each other. That’s a gift, Bill.”
“From the Gods?” His words sparked a memory in both of them.
“No, from you Bill, from us. Together. To the Fleet,” and here she smiled warmly at him, “and to each other.”
He smiled back at her. She knew it was the first moment of happiness he had felt since they stepped from their Raptor and into the abyss. His voice was strong now too. “I love you, Laura. And knowing that you love me too, well that’s a gift wonderful enough to carry me through even the darkest night.”
She giggled slightly at his words, and he looked at her curiously. “That is the first time you told me properly how you feel. A woman likes to be told, Bill,” she explained, “even when she already knows the truth in her heart. And even when she is busy with the end of the world.”
His eyes flashed. “I know something else I haven’t done properly yet.” He pulled her in close and kissed her, wrapping her completely in his arms as he did.
Her heart fluttered, and the cold was entirely forgotten, as their lips touched and she quickly opened her mouth to him, heightening the passionate urgency of their kiss. When they finally broke apart, gasping, she felt fully alive - even here among the dead. “Take me home to Galactica, Bill,” she said as she rested her forehead against his. “Let tonight be just for us.”
He kissed her forehead, and then stood, gently lifting her with him. They walked silently back toward the fire, his arm around her. He left her there to warm herself, while he went to speak with Helo who was coordinating the ground recon team, already busy even in these bleakest hours.
While she waited, she surveyed the broken remnants of the landing party, those like her who could not bear to return to the ship at nightfall. Those who had not yet processed what they found here. She saw Kara in the distance, tending her own fire. She knew what she had to do. She walked purposefully toward her. It didn’t matter anymore whether she was a Cylon. It didn’t matter what she really was, for one thing that she was without question was family. That could never change. Now she understood that.
As she approached her, Kara stood awkwardly and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and fear. Perhaps fear of reproach, for having been reborn, for having pointed their way here. She understood. She had felt it all herself. So she reached across the divide too long and too angry between them. She felt Kara tremble as she hugged her, and heard a soft, strangled cry in her ear. ‘Still a girl,’ she thought. “I love you,” she told the pilot in a whisper. “No matter what.” She felt Kara’s arms reach up and around her now, so she tightened the embrace. “There is still going to be a tomorrow, Kara,” she promised. “For all of us.” And as Kara cried in her arms, she closed her eyes and felt all of her family - living and dead and even estranged - within her embrace.
She heard someone approach from behind, and Kara quickly pulled away from her to check for friend or foe. The instincts of a soldier. It was Bill, and she saw a contented expression on his face, as he looked at them both, that seemed impossible only minutes ago.
“Raptor’s ready,” he told her. “Let’s go home.” He put his arm around her gently, but before he turned to lead her away, he reached out with his other hand and softly brushed away Kara’s lingering tears, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear before he pulled his hand away. “Good night, Starbuck,” he said simply, before they moved away.
She heard Kara’s voice, now recovered, ring out in the night, as they walked toward their ship. “Good night. … And, hey, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do … which isn’t much of course!” She smiled, looking up as Bill pulled her closer and she heard him laugh quietly.
Love and family. That formed the solid ground beneath her feet as she and Bill crossed the shattered landscape, headed home, at last together.
Finis! Feedback is always appreciated.