Bittersweet Things
Title: Bittersweet Things
Author: Ragna (afteriwake)
Pairing: Renji/Tatsuki, mentions of Ichigo/Orihime, one-sided Ichigo/Rukia and Orihime and Tatsuki / Renji and Rukia friendships.
Rating: PG
Spoilers (if applicable): Mentions of stuff in the Deicide arc in the manga, and this is set about six months after the arc we're in now.
Warnings (if applicable): None
Summary: With the wonderful comes the bittersweet tang of reality.
Authors Notes: There's going to be two more stories. I have them plotted out, and only thiscanbegin knows the plot. I hope everyone enjoys it.
---
“So,” Orihime asked two weeks later, when they were alone. Tatsuki used to wait for Orihime to get off work and they'd walk home together, but she'd been filling her afternoons and evenings up with either work or lessons with Renji, so this was the first time in a while she'd gotten to spend time alone with her friend. “How have you been, Tatsuki-chan?”
“Good,” she said with a smile. A real, genuine smile, something that had been on her face at the oddest points ever since her first swordsmanship lesson.
“And are you enjoying your time with Abrari-kun?”
“I am, yeah,” she replied.
Orihime blushed a little. “Has he kissed you yet?”
She caught sight of her friend and her smile turned amused. Strange that that would cause her to blush. “He has. He had when you walked in on us, actually. We were going for a second one.”
“Oh,” she said. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. I got that second kiss after you left.”
“I would never have thought you'd get kissed before me.”
Tatsuki looked at her. “You've never been kissed?”
She shook her head. “No, never. I almost kissed Kurosaki-kun once but he was sleeping so I didn't.”
Tatsuki nodded, realizing she was talking about the events that preceded her disappearance. They tried not to talk about them unless Orihime had nightmares. In fact, Tatsuki had more or less moved into Orihime's apartment when she came back. The nightmares had lessened steadily, down to one every week or so, but there was comfort in the fact that Orihime still needed her. Tatsuki's parents had approved of this arrangement so long as her grades stayed up, and that made her grateful. Though many evenings now she was out late, either working at evening classes or training with Renji. Today was a free day, a rare one, she realized.
“I like him, Tatsuki. He helped try and rescue me,” Orihime said. “And he cared about Rukia a lot, when we went to go save her.”
“He is a good man,” Tatsuki said with an nod.
“I'm glad he likes you.”
“I'm glad he does, too.”
“Why aren't you with him today?”
“He had to return to Soul Society briefly with Rukia. They said they would be back tomorrow.”
“Oh, that's good. I wondered why Rukia was not in school today.” Orihime smiled at her. “I wonder if Rukia is talking to Abrari-kun about you.”
“Hmm,” Tatsuki said. “I doubt it. She's been dealing with Ichigo so much that I bet she hasn't noticed.”
“No, no, I think she's noticed,” Orihime said, shaking her head. “She may not be as happy for you two as I am.”
“Why do you say that, Orihime?” Tatsuki asked, stopping in her tracks.
She blushed slightly. “Kurosaki-kun has asked to spend time with me, away from everyone else. Kind of like a date, maybe? And with him and I and you and Abrari-kun all paired off, there's no one left for her. And she knew him first.”
Tatsuki felt the warm feeling fade. She hadn't thought of that, that Rukia might be jealous. This distressed her. Granted, she wasn't as close to Rukia as everyone else was, but she...no. No, she would ask Renji when he came back what the situation was. Like Orihime said, he knew her first. If anyone could tell her she was thinking too much or too hard about this, it would be him.
“Tatsuki-chan? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad.” Orihime grabbed her hand and tugged. “Come on! I want to cheer you up. Maybe we can go see a movie?”
Shaking herself from her thoughts, she smiled slightly and let Orihime lead her. “Only if I get to pick it out.”
“Oh, of course,”: she said with a warm smile. Tatsuki felt her insides warm a bit at the smile she was so glad to see on Orihime's face again. Every time she saw it she felt better inside. Her friend had healed, and was on her way back to something like she had been, and maybe that was for the best. Another tug on her hand and those thoughts evaporated as well.
-
“Renji.”
He knew that tone of voice. That tone of voice had nothing to do with the business they'd taken on, when she was serious yet submissive to their leaders. No, this was the tone she used when she wanted to talk to him about something serious, and he was ninety percent sure he knew what she wanted to talk to him about. “Yeah?”
“Do you have some sort of special relationship with Tatsuki?”
And there it was. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Now that caught him up short. He didn't really recognize that tone of voice. A little wistful, a little sad, but with undertones of happiness. It was unusual to hear coming from his old friend like that. “Why did you want to know, Rukia?”
She looked at him, and lapsed into silence. “You have what I do not have, that's all.”
“You liked Ichigo, didn't you?” he asked quietly. She stared out at the landscape. They were on a hill with many grave markers. Rukia had said she wanted to pay her respects to departed friends, and he decided it would be good if he did as well. But this long pause worried him. “C'mon, Rukia. You can talk to me.”
“I did,” she said with a nod. “But I knew nothing would ever happen because of our differences, because I was here in Soul Society and he was in the world of the living. So I have shoved my feelings into something where we are simply friends.” She looked down. “He is showing interest in Orihime. I am happy for them, but...” She took a deep breath. "I am not jealous, but I just don't want to feel the pain in seeing what I can't have." Then she looked up. “I will return to the world of the living tomorrow to make my good-byes, and then I will come back here and not return there.”
His jaw was hanging. “Rukia...” He saw tears forming at the corners of her eyes, and instinct cut across propriety. He went over to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He felt her shake with silent sobs, and just continued to keep her close, murmuring words of love, the love he had for her as a friend, until her shaking stopped and she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “Do they know?”
She shook her head. “No. But Lieutenant Hisagi will be returning with us and taking my place, since they have a capable captain now. He will give them a good reason for me to come back here, and he is doing it out of kindness to me. I have already thanked him.”
“What about me?” he asked quietly. “Do I need to come back?”
She shook her head. “Not right now. But you heard Captain Commander. In a month, perhaps two, the business will be finished.” She looked at him intently. “I will offer some advice. Do not go any further in your relationship with Tatsuki. You will break her heart when you have to leave.”
“I'd rather have the month or two with her than come back here and be alone,” he said, almost defiantly. “I know that is your choice, and I respect it, but I would not make the same choice.”
“Then tell her the truth so she can be prepared. She is a friend. That's all I ask of you.”
He nodded. “I will tell her the minute we are alone.”
“Thank you,” she said, straightening. “We should return now.”
“Yeah, probably,” he said quietly, a weight in his heart. She was right, and it was good advice, but he just couldn't. He realized that he had fallen in love with her, and as quickly as it had hit him he should have been more surprised but he wasn't. But now...well, now he was going to break her heart into pieces. He just hoped she cared enough about him, cared in the same way, or else he realized he, too, would return to Soul Society and never look back.
-
“Renji!”
He looked over and saw her running towards him. They had arranged this meeting before he left, but not even seeing her with a radiant smile on her face could lift his spirits. “Hey.”
She stopped short when she got to him, and frowned. He had hoped for a different welcome, a hug or a kiss, them holding hands and talking about what she had done in the two days he'd been good. But he got a frown and a furrowed brow, and he knew she was worried. Then she sighed and looked down. “You're not able to stay, are you?”
“I can stay, but in a month or two I'll have to leave,” he said quietly. “If you do not want to continue in this relationship, I would understand.”
He had looked down and shut his eyes, waiting for the rejection he could have sworn was coming. Instead, he felt a hand grasp his, and felt another hand on his cheek. He lifted his head up and saw a small smile on her face. She cupped his cheek and stepped closer. “I want to spend this month or two with you. I do not want to give you up until I absolutely have to.”
He let go of her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head. Relief washed over him like a tsunami hitting the shore, and he held her close as she wrapped her arms around him. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity but was probably nothing more than a few moments. “I love you,” he said into her hair.
“I love you too,” she whispered, and he felt warm tears on his shirt. And so he rubbed her back for a moment, reveling in the sensation that she loved him. When he went back to Soul Society, he would cling to this moment for the rest of his life.
Author: Ragna (afteriwake)
Pairing: Renji/Tatsuki, mentions of Ichigo/Orihime, one-sided Ichigo/Rukia and Orihime and Tatsuki / Renji and Rukia friendships.
Rating: PG
Spoilers (if applicable): Mentions of stuff in the Deicide arc in the manga, and this is set about six months after the arc we're in now.
Warnings (if applicable): None
Summary: With the wonderful comes the bittersweet tang of reality.
Authors Notes: There's going to be two more stories. I have them plotted out, and only thiscanbegin knows the plot. I hope everyone enjoys it.
---
“So,” Orihime asked two weeks later, when they were alone. Tatsuki used to wait for Orihime to get off work and they'd walk home together, but she'd been filling her afternoons and evenings up with either work or lessons with Renji, so this was the first time in a while she'd gotten to spend time alone with her friend. “How have you been, Tatsuki-chan?”
“Good,” she said with a smile. A real, genuine smile, something that had been on her face at the oddest points ever since her first swordsmanship lesson.
“And are you enjoying your time with Abrari-kun?”
“I am, yeah,” she replied.
Orihime blushed a little. “Has he kissed you yet?”
She caught sight of her friend and her smile turned amused. Strange that that would cause her to blush. “He has. He had when you walked in on us, actually. We were going for a second one.”
“Oh,” she said. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. I got that second kiss after you left.”
“I would never have thought you'd get kissed before me.”
Tatsuki looked at her. “You've never been kissed?”
She shook her head. “No, never. I almost kissed Kurosaki-kun once but he was sleeping so I didn't.”
Tatsuki nodded, realizing she was talking about the events that preceded her disappearance. They tried not to talk about them unless Orihime had nightmares. In fact, Tatsuki had more or less moved into Orihime's apartment when she came back. The nightmares had lessened steadily, down to one every week or so, but there was comfort in the fact that Orihime still needed her. Tatsuki's parents had approved of this arrangement so long as her grades stayed up, and that made her grateful. Though many evenings now she was out late, either working at evening classes or training with Renji. Today was a free day, a rare one, she realized.
“I like him, Tatsuki. He helped try and rescue me,” Orihime said. “And he cared about Rukia a lot, when we went to go save her.”
“He is a good man,” Tatsuki said with an nod.
“I'm glad he likes you.”
“I'm glad he does, too.”
“Why aren't you with him today?”
“He had to return to Soul Society briefly with Rukia. They said they would be back tomorrow.”
“Oh, that's good. I wondered why Rukia was not in school today.” Orihime smiled at her. “I wonder if Rukia is talking to Abrari-kun about you.”
“Hmm,” Tatsuki said. “I doubt it. She's been dealing with Ichigo so much that I bet she hasn't noticed.”
“No, no, I think she's noticed,” Orihime said, shaking her head. “She may not be as happy for you two as I am.”
“Why do you say that, Orihime?” Tatsuki asked, stopping in her tracks.
She blushed slightly. “Kurosaki-kun has asked to spend time with me, away from everyone else. Kind of like a date, maybe? And with him and I and you and Abrari-kun all paired off, there's no one left for her. And she knew him first.”
Tatsuki felt the warm feeling fade. She hadn't thought of that, that Rukia might be jealous. This distressed her. Granted, she wasn't as close to Rukia as everyone else was, but she...no. No, she would ask Renji when he came back what the situation was. Like Orihime said, he knew her first. If anyone could tell her she was thinking too much or too hard about this, it would be him.
“Tatsuki-chan? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad.” Orihime grabbed her hand and tugged. “Come on! I want to cheer you up. Maybe we can go see a movie?”
Shaking herself from her thoughts, she smiled slightly and let Orihime lead her. “Only if I get to pick it out.”
“Oh, of course,”: she said with a warm smile. Tatsuki felt her insides warm a bit at the smile she was so glad to see on Orihime's face again. Every time she saw it she felt better inside. Her friend had healed, and was on her way back to something like she had been, and maybe that was for the best. Another tug on her hand and those thoughts evaporated as well.
-
“Renji.”
He knew that tone of voice. That tone of voice had nothing to do with the business they'd taken on, when she was serious yet submissive to their leaders. No, this was the tone she used when she wanted to talk to him about something serious, and he was ninety percent sure he knew what she wanted to talk to him about. “Yeah?”
“Do you have some sort of special relationship with Tatsuki?”
And there it was. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Now that caught him up short. He didn't really recognize that tone of voice. A little wistful, a little sad, but with undertones of happiness. It was unusual to hear coming from his old friend like that. “Why did you want to know, Rukia?”
She looked at him, and lapsed into silence. “You have what I do not have, that's all.”
“You liked Ichigo, didn't you?” he asked quietly. She stared out at the landscape. They were on a hill with many grave markers. Rukia had said she wanted to pay her respects to departed friends, and he decided it would be good if he did as well. But this long pause worried him. “C'mon, Rukia. You can talk to me.”
“I did,” she said with a nod. “But I knew nothing would ever happen because of our differences, because I was here in Soul Society and he was in the world of the living. So I have shoved my feelings into something where we are simply friends.” She looked down. “He is showing interest in Orihime. I am happy for them, but...” She took a deep breath. "I am not jealous, but I just don't want to feel the pain in seeing what I can't have." Then she looked up. “I will return to the world of the living tomorrow to make my good-byes, and then I will come back here and not return there.”
His jaw was hanging. “Rukia...” He saw tears forming at the corners of her eyes, and instinct cut across propriety. He went over to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He felt her shake with silent sobs, and just continued to keep her close, murmuring words of love, the love he had for her as a friend, until her shaking stopped and she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “Do they know?”
She shook her head. “No. But Lieutenant Hisagi will be returning with us and taking my place, since they have a capable captain now. He will give them a good reason for me to come back here, and he is doing it out of kindness to me. I have already thanked him.”
“What about me?” he asked quietly. “Do I need to come back?”
She shook her head. “Not right now. But you heard Captain Commander. In a month, perhaps two, the business will be finished.” She looked at him intently. “I will offer some advice. Do not go any further in your relationship with Tatsuki. You will break her heart when you have to leave.”
“I'd rather have the month or two with her than come back here and be alone,” he said, almost defiantly. “I know that is your choice, and I respect it, but I would not make the same choice.”
“Then tell her the truth so she can be prepared. She is a friend. That's all I ask of you.”
He nodded. “I will tell her the minute we are alone.”
“Thank you,” she said, straightening. “We should return now.”
“Yeah, probably,” he said quietly, a weight in his heart. She was right, and it was good advice, but he just couldn't. He realized that he had fallen in love with her, and as quickly as it had hit him he should have been more surprised but he wasn't. But now...well, now he was going to break her heart into pieces. He just hoped she cared enough about him, cared in the same way, or else he realized he, too, would return to Soul Society and never look back.
-
“Renji!”
He looked over and saw her running towards him. They had arranged this meeting before he left, but not even seeing her with a radiant smile on her face could lift his spirits. “Hey.”
She stopped short when she got to him, and frowned. He had hoped for a different welcome, a hug or a kiss, them holding hands and talking about what she had done in the two days he'd been good. But he got a frown and a furrowed brow, and he knew she was worried. Then she sighed and looked down. “You're not able to stay, are you?”
“I can stay, but in a month or two I'll have to leave,” he said quietly. “If you do not want to continue in this relationship, I would understand.”
He had looked down and shut his eyes, waiting for the rejection he could have sworn was coming. Instead, he felt a hand grasp his, and felt another hand on his cheek. He lifted his head up and saw a small smile on her face. She cupped his cheek and stepped closer. “I want to spend this month or two with you. I do not want to give you up until I absolutely have to.”
He let go of her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head. Relief washed over him like a tsunami hitting the shore, and he held her close as she wrapped her arms around him. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity but was probably nothing more than a few moments. “I love you,” he said into her hair.
“I love you too,” she whispered, and he felt warm tears on his shirt. And so he rubbed her back for a moment, reveling in the sensation that she loved him. When he went back to Soul Society, he would cling to this moment for the rest of his life.