Fanfiction - Recollections
Title: Recollections
Author: hydeist_haido
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: [Past] Sakura/ Hyde, Gackt/Hyde
Summary: Sakura recalled his memory with his lover. He tries to seek where the vocalist is after getting out from jail, only to shock him.
Warning: Homosexual relationships, implied drug abuse, memory-loss Hyde, scary Gackt (does this count?), vulgar language (Just because of one small word)
Disclaimer: I own Hyde and Gackt as well as Sakura. I was the director of the movie Moon Child. If only I could grow wings… These few points here are merely my fantasies in my dreams. xD
I can remember -
Your touch. I can still remember the first time being close to you. It was after a live, you were tired so you snuggled close to me and fell asleep, your head leaning gently against my shoulder. I, however, was nervous about you. Eventually I pushed away my thoughts that made me anxious and held your hand tightly, taking my time scrutinizing your delicate face.
I can remember -
Your smile. It was a rather demonic smile stuck to an angel’s face… Did you ever notice that your smile is a sin? I hope you will realize it some day. My heart could stop beating once more if you’re really smiling at me in the present reality.
I can remember -
Your kiss. Heck, I didn’t even know how to react to it. You had confessed your feelings to me that night. Yes, you felt the same to me. “It was a once-off,” you said as you blushed. I merely smiled, nodded and gave a big bear-hug, thinking of cancelling my plans tomorrow to spend some quality time with you.
We were indeed passionate lovers.
Everything didn’t seem to turn out how it should be though.
If only I denied it in the first place.
If only I resisted my curiosity and temptations.
If only I wasn’t addicted…
We were this close being intimate. Whole and complete. You were just reluctant going a step further.
If I can go back to the past… I’ll sure correct my mistakes and throw those trouble-making drugs into the sea. Start all over again with you. However, the term “If” is just our imagination. Nobody can walk backwards in the passage of time. Nobody can break the laws of it.
I’ve missed you so… Do you know that? I wish you do. You’re still very dear to me…
Hyde.
Sakura walked along the streets, a cigarette in his fingers. It was spring[1] in Tokyo, and the weather was still chilly. How many years was it since he left the band? He counted them slowly. It’s been almost ten years, seven years to be exact.
He had just recalled his memories in L’Arc~en~Ciel yesterday. He was the drummer of the band for five years, and he loved those times he spent with his band mates. They made him laugh all the time. And there was this particular person who made him blush and nervous.
This person was Hyde.
They had been lovers for almost three years, their relationship was splendid, and nobody broke them off. Then this thing known as drug came along.
Everything broke to pieces.
He took a deep breath. He remembered that afternoon when he was arrested by the cops. Everyone was heartbroken; Tetsu merely shook his head with disappointment. Maybe he had already figured out that he had started taking drugs a long time ago.
Hyde’s crying was the worse to Sakura. He cried when he was led away by the police, when he visited and Sakura reckoned he cried every night. It was painful seeing his lover this sad.
Sakura’s mobile rang.
“Moshi moshi?”
“Saku-chan!”
It was Ken. He talked to the guitarist for a while and hung up, continuing his walk. After getting out from jail five years ago, he had tried to call the vocalist but every time he dialed the number, he got no reply. He also texted his lover messages, surprisingly each time only two out of ten were replied, each reply only contained a message not longer than ten words. Of course he had asked Ken about it, but the guitarist refused to let the cat out of the bag.
Maybe he had given up on me, Sakura thought. He continued walking, and by the traffic light, someone caught his eye.
There was a small brunette standing in front of a bodyguard-looking Caucasian. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a pair of jeans and boots, and a pair of shades covering his eyes from people. The brunette was familiar to him. Sakura strained his eyes to get a clear view and froze. The brunette was Hyde.
Sakura could recognize that smile from anywhere. Hyde was standing at the opposite street he was, he had a beautiful smile as always on his face. The drummer was relieved that the small vocalist was in good condition, but another man shocked him even more.
Hyde was standing beside a tall man who had another bodyguard standing behind him and they were talking happily. The man had copper-brown short hair and he wore bleu clad contacts, then he realized that the tall man was Gackt who had just finished filming a movie called Moon Child with Hyde whom Ken was talking about. Okay, he looked good but that wasn’t the actual subject to be concerned. Hyde and Gackt’s hands were chained together tightly and both of them exchanged chaste kisses on each other’s lips.
Sakura was still shocked when he saw what was the relationship between his lover, or should he call ex-lover, and Gackt were in. He slightly dropped his jaw and at that moment, the traffic light just turned red. People began walking to opposite sides of the streets, but Sakura just stood there. Hyde and Gackt were walking towards them, but Hyde just didn’t seem to have any awareness of him. As if he didn’t know who he was and continued chatting with the tall man. Gackt, on the other side, saw him gazing on Hyde. He immediately wrapped his arm around the small vocalist’s waist, pulling Hyde close to him, gave Sakura a glare to show he was irritated and walked away with his lover and bodyguards.
Sakura saw Hyde and Gackt soon walked into a hotel near the location he stood, leaving him by the streets as cars passed by. Alone, tears starting to flood his eyes as he didn’t know what happened to Hyde.
“Moshi moshi,”
“…Is this Sakurazawa Yasunori?”
“…Hai… And you are?”
“Camui Gackt. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.”
“…How the hell did you get my number?”
“I’m not as dumb as you think, Sakura. I asked your management office for it.”
“…”
“Hello? Anyone there?”
“What do you want from me?”
“According your talking ways, I think you’re still aggravated and poignant from what happened just now.”
“I am, so what’s the big idea now? Shouldn’t you be with Hyde now? He’s your lover right?”
“He’s with me alright. He’s taking a nap. Okay… Let’s get straight to the point. You noticed Hyde didn’t recognize you just now.”
“Yeah. I want to know why. Make sure you give me a good answer, Gato. Or else I’ll punch you in the face.”
“It’s Gackt. As in ‘Ga-ku-to’.”
“Whatever. I want your answer. A good one.”
“Hyde lost his memory so he doesn’t know who you are.”
“…I beg your pardon?”
“As I said, he lost his memory and now he doesn’t know you.”
“WHAT?! Why and how?”
“Do you remember when was the last time you met him in prison?”
“…Uh… September 10 in year 1997?”
“Yup. When he was on his way back home he met with an accident, immediately after visiting you that day.”
“…”
“His memories before that day were completely erased, and he can’t remember his earlier days with the band or you.”
“…You didn’t tell him about me.”
“No offense, it was Tetsu who started it. He wanted everyone to keep this incident a secret, including you and the most of the fans. He didn’t want to see Hyde that sad because of you. It’s your fault he’s so miserable.”
“…”
“So I had the advantage to replace myself in your seat. Actually, I wanted him to star in my movie just to gain his trust for an intimate relationship.”
“Is he happy with you?”
“Heh. You don’t know how cheerful he is with me.”
“Really?”
“Do I have to mail some evidence to you so you’ll believe?”
“…”
“Hey. Why are you so quiet?”
“How about you try to be in my situation now?”
“Oops. I forgot you’re always having mood swings.”
“Tch.”
“…Now I’m asking you a favour.”
“…What…?”
“You, stay away from Hyde.”
“HUH?”
“Couldn’t hear it clearly, huh? You must stay away from Hyde this day onwards. Don’t interact with him, okay?”
“And why would I listen to a brat like you?”
“Simple, it’s because he’s mine. Both body and soul. They completely belong to me. I know you haven’t slept with him yet. Heh, it’s easy. Pity you won’t get to feel how wonderful he is in bed forever.”
“…Fuck…”
“No objections. Hyde. Is. Mine. I don’t like to share. I don’t want to see you any nearer to him or else you’ll face the consequences. Are we clear?”
“…”
“Are you deaf or what?”
“*Beep*”
“Gacchan, are you done yet?” Hyde whined as he poked out his head from the covers, staring at me with sleepy caramel eyes. My God is he cute in this state.
“Just a minute more…” I quickly scribbled a few more words into my notebook and put it away along with my pen, climbing into bed, hugging my lover. “I’m done.”
“Gacchan what did you write in your diary?” My small lover asked cutely, his big eyes gaping at me.
“My heaven’s sake it’s not a diary!” I exclaimed. “It’s a journal. ‘J-o-u-r-n-a-l’.” I spelt out the term in English, making sure he understands it.
“Okay,” He nodded. “I-” Just then he interrupted himself with a long yawn. “-I undertand.” So he’s tired, he didn’t pronounce the word correctly. I’m gonna die from his cuteness if he continues acting like this.
“I guess you’re really sleepy, huh?” I poked him in his forehead, making him giggle.
“Mm-hmm.”
I wrapped the covers tightly around our bodies, watching him close his eyes. Minutes later he was already snoring softly, sleeping with a smile. I grinned. This living angel is mine, all mine and nobody’s going to stop me.
Married? Tch. I don’t care about Megumi. As long I get what I want. And Sakura’s not going in my way anymore, which makes things go on smoothly.
“Good night little angel,” I kissed Hyde’s forehead softly. “Sleep tight.”
~Owari~
[1] Date set in year 2003, around March/ April.
This was supposed to be a drabble, but I lost control and it became a fic. I fail in writing bedtime scenes.