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[firehead41]

Look how fast I posted the next chapter! I was deifantely in a writing fix...hope everyone is happy!

Title: Understand Me
Author: FireHead41
Pairings: hydeXtetsu and possible minor pairings
Rating: T
Summary: A few late band practices can lead hyde and tetsu's friendship way downhill...but can they climb back up?

He was so hot! There has got to be a furnace blowing all this heat against his body because he felt like he was on fire. The covers weren’t helping either, but once he pulled them off his body the cold attacked him and he would start shivering. Hyde groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable. He felt so exhausted and worn out. His head hurt and his body was weak. He felt so hot, yet so cold at the same time. The vocalist weakly rubbed the side of his head as if trying to get the heat out of his mind. Whenever he opened his eyes, they felt like they were heavy boulders and he couldn’t keep them open. His mouth was dry and his skin was soaking with sweat. Hyde groaned again.

He hated being sick, being reduced to lying helplessly in his bed with a pounding headache and exhaustion being his only company. Everything he felt was utter misery.

But more importantly…there was one feeling he couldn’t stand.

He hated feeling so alone.

There was this emptiness despite his sickness that he felt deep inside himself. Like there was something ripped from his heart and all that was left was a dark, empty space. He tried to ignore it, but he was tired. He didn’t want to feel the emptiness…he wanted whatever was there to come back. He wanted that warmth and comfort to come back.

He wanted him to come back.

“Haido?”

The vocalist recognized the voice and weakly opened his eyes. Kneeling before him was Yukihiro, the drummer of L’Arc and one of his dearest friends. The oldest member looked concerned and very serious, but his presence was comforting. Hyde smiled pathetically at him and mumbled, “I’m fine…”

Yukihiro shook his head, a small, playful smile spreading over his face. “You’re unbelievable, Haido…” he chuckled as he eyed the vocalist. “You are not fine and you know it, so stop pretending.”

Hyde closed his eyes - keeping them open was killing his head. Yukihiro was completely right though. Hyde didn’t understand why he was trying to say that whatever was wrong with him wasn’t there. He’s probably made it completely obvious at this point that he was terribly sick.

Yukihiro lifted his hand and gently stroked his fingers against Hyde’s pale, clammy cheek. Heat radiated from the skin, making the drummer even more concerned. Hyde opened his eyes tiredly and looked at his friend. He could see the deep worry Yukihiro had for him, and all in all, that saddened Hyde. He didn’t want his friends to worry so much over him. He hated making people worry. He was like Tetsu when it came to his friends…always trying to think of them and not for himself. Always trying to make them never worry…

Hyde felt guilt strike him.

Tetsu…

Yukihiro placed his palm against Hyde’s forehead and locked his eyes with those fevered ones. Hyde stared at Yukihiro like he was pleading toward him. The vocalist’s mind was probably in the clouds, but Yukihiro could tell that Hyde was focused on one person. The guilt was probably consuming him from whatever occurred between the two band members early this morning, and Yukihiro could see that Hyde wanted Tetsu there with him. He felt sad. He didn’t know where Tetsu was, but he knew that whatever Hyde was feeling, Tetsu was probably feeling the same way. He sighed and pulled his hand back, holding Hyde’s gaze with his own. The vocalist clutched the sheets under him and muttered Yukihiro’s name quietly. The drummer waited as Hyde closed his eyes and asked brokenly,

“Where’s Tetsu?”

Hyde looked so fragile then…as if any answer would completely shatter his heart. Yukihiro knew Hyde was expecting something terrible. Something like “Tetsu was never coming back” or “Tetsu doesn’t want to see you”. But Yukihiro wouldn’t allow that. These two were the two most closest people he’s ever met. Their friendship and adoration for each other exceeded anything he’s ever known.

Even exceeded the closeness he felt toward their guitarist.

Yukihiro let his gaze travel toward the only window within Hyde’s small bedroom. He had to say something. He could feel Hyde’s eyes on him again. As he glanced at him, that same pleading look shined against those dark orbs. Yukihiro sighed deeply and shook his head. “I don’t know, Haido…” he answered sadly. “But I think Ken left to go find him.”

“He’s missing?” Hyde gasped, using some unknown strength to lift his weak body onto his elbows. Yukihiro quickly placed his hands on Hyde’s shoulders and gestured him back down upon the bed.

“Not missing missing, Haido. He hasn’t called Ken-chan or I since this morning. He‘s just…having some time to himself.”

Hyde’s eyes widened in worry and guilt. Yukihiro wished he didn’t have to tell the vocalist about any of this when said-vocalist was so sick. Making Hyde worry would get him even sicker.

Yukihiro shook his head and looked Hyde straight in the eye, saying, “Don’t worry, Haido, Tetsu’s fine. I’m sure Ken-chan will find him and he’ll be here soon. But for now, you need to get some rest. Do you need anything?”

Hyde’s eyes saddened before he closed them. If it was possible, the vocalist sank even deeper into the mattress he laid upon. He shook his head, saying nothing. Yukihiro held a sad look as he got to his feet. “Alright,” he said quietly,” I’ll be in the living room. I‘ll come check on you in a bit.”

Hyde still said nothing. The drummer slowly left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply before walking back into the living room. Once more, he sat upon the edge of the couch, leaning his elbows against his knees and letting his chin rest upon his folded hands. Many thoughts assaulted him, but the most important fact was that Ken needed to find Tetsu. Only their bassist could help Hyde completely recover.

Yukihiro sighed once more. For some reason, everything felt so heavy upon him. Hyde being sick and Tetsu not watching over him. Their argument caused both of them to not even speak with each other. That hardly happens. Arguments never got this serious between them. There was so close to each other, one would think they would never have arguments.

But with Hyde being sick and Tetsu not there to help him recover…

It was heartbreaking. Tetsu was always there no matter what. The bassist was so strong for them whenever something happened or there was a problem. Yukihiro recalled when Ken was just as sick as Hyde a couple years ago. Tetsu wouldn’t allow Ken to leave his sight. He was practically Ken’s bed guard/nurse - always keeping the guitarist in his bed until he was well enough (in Tetsu standards) to get up and move around. The way Tetsu showed his care was steel-like, but they all appreciated it. They loved Tetsu and was glad for him to be there whenever they needed him.

Tetsu was so strong.

To have him not be with Hyde, the one he cherishes most…

It was heartbreaking.

Within the bedroom, tears fell from Hyde’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Tetsu…” he whispered into the air. “I didn’t understand…”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tetsu felt nerves bite at his chest. Fear gripped his heart - fear of being rejected Hyde once again…fear of losing Hyde’s trust forever. Ken had reassured him before they left the beach that Hyde never meant what he said. He was sick and stressed, so he didn’t know what he was saying. Ken firmly believed that Hyde would forgive whatever he needed to forgive Tetsu for, but Tetsu needed to believe that or they would be separated for even longer. Tetsu couldn’t handle that anymore…not having Hyde in his life…

He shivered at the thought. He couldn’t imagine a life without Hyde.

He wouldn’t survive.

“Come on Tet, stop worrying,” said Ken as he led the bassist up the familiar three flights of stairs. “It’s going to be fine.”

“But Ken-chan, he hates me. He said he didn’t need me anymore!” Tetsu exclaimed.

Ken looked at him blankly and asked, “And you actually believe that? After all you two have been through, you don’t think Hyde needs you anymore?”

Tetsu shook his head, arguing, “This is different. I’ve been putting so much stress on him that he has the right to hate me now!”

“You have to be hard on people if you need things to be done!” Ken argued back. He took Tetsu’s shoulders into his hands and shook the redhead fiercely. “You are our leader, Tetsu, you have to be hard and strong for us! You pushed Yukkie and I just as much as you pushed Haido. Don’t take the blame for what’s happened to him. If we must blame someone we’ll blame all three of us for not being able to see how sick he was becoming. Stop putting all the guilt on your shoulders and share it if you have too.”

Tetsu felt his eyes watering yet again. “Ken-chan…”

Ken let an exhausted smile spread across his face as he pulled away from the redhead. “Haido is your friend, Tetsu. He will understand. Now can we please go see him? I’m sure Yukkie is getting frustrated with that shrimp’s complaints on how “he’s fine” and “I’m not sick”. Our drummer has probably gone crazy!”

Tetsu smiled as he wiped whatever tears that were going to fall from his eyes. Ken was right. He had to stop doubting and start believing. The guitarist grinned at him as he began climbing the stairs two at a time. “Wait up!” Ken called after him. The two band members reached the front door and entered Hyde’s apartment. Tetsu stopped right in the doorway. His eyes traveled over the familiar kitchen before he glanced into the living room. He couldn’t help but chuckle at what he saw.

Ken looked puzzled at the bassist. “What?” he asked, stepping into the apartment and closing the front door being him. He followed Tetsu’s gaze into the living room and felt a flutter within his chest.

Yukihiro lay elegantly upon the couch, knees almost drawn to his chest and one of his arms cradling his head. His eyes were closed, indicating he was asleep and one of his drumsticks was hanging on the very edge of his front jean pocket.

The sight was completely adorable.

Quietly, Ken made his way over to the drummer and kneeled beside him. The protruded drumstick looked like it was about to fall, so he carefully pulled the item free from the jean pocket. Yukihiro didn’t stir. His breathing was even, a warm cascade of air hitting Ken’s face as the guitarist watched over him. Ken brushed a stray bang away from the lean face and allowed his thumb to stroke ever-so-gently under Yukihiro’s closed eye. Tetsu watched them from the doorway. He felt the flutter at the thought of him and Hyde becoming that close. Ken approached Yukihiro so simply. He showed his adoration without hesitation.

The guitarist turned and stood up, twirling Yukihiro’s drumstick easily between his fingers. He eyed Tetsu and said quietly, “Go see him, Tet.”

Go tell him how you feel.

Tetsu smiled lightly at the guitarist and nodded. Quietly, he headed down the small hallway and stopped before Hyde’s door, taking the knob into his hand. With a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Ken watched him from where he stood, a smile plastered on his face. There was a light tug upon his jacket and he turned around, peering down upon Yukihiro’s now open eyes. The drummer looked up at him in question. Ken didn’t need to say anything. With one look, Yukihiro knew Tetsu was back.

And that knowledge made him smile and close his eyes once more. He scooted back, letting his back lean against the head of the couch. Ken sat down upon the edge, still looking at Yukihiro and twirling the drummer’s drumstick. He gently stroked Yukihiro’s forehead as he asked, “Did you check on Haido?”

Yukihiro opened his eyes, looking up at the guitarist. “Yeah…” he replied quietly. Ken smiled and placed the drumstick before Yukihiro’s face. He carefully leaned back and settled against the drummer’s strong legs, letting his weight lean into the figure below. He folded his hands across his lap and closed his own eyes.

Now all that was left was to wait.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tetsu stepped into the room and closed the door quietly behind him. Instantly, his eyes focused on the figure lying upon the bed. As he stepped closer, Tetsu noticed the cocoon of covers Hyde was bundled in. He stopped before the bedside and quietly kneeled upon the floor. His eyes caught sight of the sweaty, pale skin, the hair clinging to Hyde’s forehead, and the shivering the poor vocalist emitted from underneath his mountain of blankets.

Concern and worry flooded through Tetsu’s senses. Tentatively, he reached out and placed his fingers against Hyde’s cheek. He was so hot! So unnaturally hot. Tetsu felt a stab of guilt enter his chest. Hyde was so sick…how could he have left him? Why did he leave him? Tetsu felt anger toward himself for what he’d done. He allowed his fingers to gently caress Hyde’s clammy skin as his eyes began to fill with tears once again. Guilt consumed him, reality struck him…Hyde was horribly sick…

And he had left him.

Why?

His head fell onto the mattress, letting his face burry into the softness of the covers. His hand dropped from Hyde’s cheek as the tears fell.

“Tet-chan…”

His breath hitched and his body froze. There was shifting upon the bed and Tetsu heard the familiar voice speak his name softly again. Tetsu lifted his face slowly and watched as Hyde’s eyes weakly fluttered open. Immediately, the redhead noticed the glazed look within those brown orbs. Concern flooded his voice as the bassist moved and rested his hand gently against Hyde’s cheek. “Don’t move, Doiha-chan, you need to keep resting.”

Hyde’s eyes opened wide. Shock entered his body and that missing piece of his heart slowly began to return. Tetsu was here…his friend was actually here. Was this a dream? This couldn’t be a dream. Tetsu was there, leaning closely toward him and utter worry shining in his eyes. Hyde couldn’t believe it…why would Tetsu be here after how he treated him?

Hyde couldn’t figure out why. Tetsu couldn’t be here…it’s not possible.

“Doiha, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Does your head hurt you? Do you need something? What’s the matter?”

Okay…it’s true. Tetsu was here.

“I’m fine…” Hyde groaned as he shifted onto his back and closed his eyes again. Tetsu felt rejection hit him hard. Hyde still hated him…he wouldn’t look at him…

The redhead let his eyes fall as he pulled away from the bedside and sat heavily upon his heels. He didn’t know what to say. Guilt was hitting him full force and the thought of losing Hyde was clearly evident in his mind. The silence hung within the room, and Tetsu contemplated heading for the door and leaving for good. Why stay when Hyde hated him?

“Tet-chan…I’m sorry…”

Tetsu’ eyes widened. That was defiantly not what he expected. He looked up, eyes wider than saucers, as Hyde turned towards him, a sad look upon his face.

“I’m sorry for what I said this morning…I…I didn’t mean it…” Hyde’s voice was quiet and hesitant. “I swear I didn’t mean it…”

The confession was more than touching and it struck Tetsu completely. His heart fluttered and his eyes felt watery again. “Why are you apologizing, Doiha? You don’t need to be…”

“Yes, I do,” Hyde said firmly despite the weak sound within his voice. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. I…I hurt you, Tet-chan, and that thought kills me. The last thing I want would be to hurt someone so close to me…”

“Doiha…” Tetsu whispered.

Hyde looked up at the redhead, tears evident in his eyes. “Please forgive me, Tet-chan…”

Nothing could stop him. Tetsu did the first thing both his mind and body wanted to do, and before he lost his sudden determination, Tetsu had his lips over Hyde’s. Softness touched softness, and warmth flared throughout both their bodies. Hyde was shocked at the move, but felt happiness course into his heart. Tetsu was so gentle with him. It was the softest of kisses…

It was their first, real kiss.

Hyde kissed him back despite his weakened state, and moments later the redhead had pulled back. His eyes were stilled closed and his head was bowed. Tetsu suddenly felt ridiculous for what he just did. Feeling rejection hit him once again, he was about to pull away completely when he felt a hand at the back of his head, pulling him back downwards. Now it was Tetsu’s turn to be shocked as Hyde kissed him. It was another gentle, soft kiss. Hyde’s lips moved carefully against Tetsu’s as his hand held the bassist toward him. Tetsu placed his hands on either side of Hyde’s head to stay upright and deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to trail over Hyde’s bottom lip. Hyde immediately opened up to him and for the first time in his life, Tetsu had the pleasure to discover the warm cavern called Hyde’s mouth. Tetsu felt warmth fill his body as he carefully kissed the vocalist. Their tongues met and Tetsu easily held dominance over the other person. As Tetsu went to deepen the kiss even more, Hyde suddenly pulled back, and his head hit the pillow beneath him. Tetsu opened his eyes and noticed the vocalist’s deep breaths and flushed cheeks. Panic suddenly coursed through him as he cupped Hyde’s cheek and asked with concern, “Doiha-chan, are you okay?”

Hyde nodded as he regained his breath. Tetsu berated himself. Hyde was sick! He shouldn’t be making Hyde use his only strength to make him happy with kisses! How could he be so stupid? Hyde opened his eyes again and noticed the frustration upon the redhead’s face. He placed his hand over the one holding his cheek, causing Tetsu to look down at him.

Hyde smiled and whispered, “Don’t worry, Tet-chan…I wanted that…”

Tetsu’s cheeks flushed. “Doiha…” he whispered. Hyde continued to smile at him and Tetsu couldn’t help but lay beside the vocalist and pull him into his arms. Hyde happily placed his head into the crook of the bassist neck and closed his eyes. Tetsu was a different kind of warmth against him. A huge comfort…

And Hyde was happy to fall asleep in his arms.