'Twas The Night Before Torchwood
Title: Twas the Night Before Torchwood
Series: Torchwood
Characters: Owen, Jack
Rating: R (language and lewd suggestions)
Summary: Owen may find out who the man in the red suit is one Christmas night at the Hub.
Spoilers: Torchwood Season 1 general knowledge
Author's Notes: Supposed to be a one-shot, inspired by some actual lines in the Chicago Christmas Spectacular that is going on right now. Check out www.arftco.com
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or the characters therein, they belong to the BBC and RTD. Any original characters and places are my property.
'Twas The Night Before Torchwood
Owen looked up and peered over the top of his computer monitor. It was quiet in the Hub and that was the last thing he needed; all Owen wanted was to work and forget about things. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, a pen fidgeting in his hand as he clicked the mouse with his other hand.
His mind started drifting back to that morning. Owen quickly shoved the memory of Diane to the back of his mind. He found himself thinking back to earlier in the day when Jack had rushed in, a big bundle in a plain, cloth, black bag. The man hadn't even said hello to Tosh, or paid attention to Gwen and breezed right by him and Ianto. Owen could care less if Jack gave him the time of day, or so he told himself.
Absently-mindedly sucking on the end of the pen, Owen glanced down at the clock in the bottom corner of his computer monitor as the digital readout changed from 11:59 to 12:00 midnight. It was now officially Christmas. He sighed and clicked away. Gwen had left early to be with Rhys and their families, while Tosh was planning on dinner with her grandfather. Ianto... he could care less where Ianto was, just that he wasn't under foot, and harping on Owen to clean up his desk. It was a mess, but it was HIS desk, and he knew where to find every file, no matter what Ianto thought.
Owen yawned and stretched his arms, feeling a brush of cold air on his tummy as his red shirt rose up. He quickly tugged it down and leaned forward, the green glow of the computer monitor splayed across his face. Suddenly from across the Hub a sound of tinkling reached his ears. Owen sat up straight in his chair, dropping the pen to the desk. He strained his ears, listening, wondering if he really had heard what he thought he heard.
A soft tinkling sound came again. Owen stood up, looking around the Hub. He swore under his breath as the "tinkle jingle jingle" could be heard once more. It seemed to be getting closer and closer. He slowly turned around, but saw nothing heading in his direction. He hurriedly dropped his head down and looked under the desk not wanting to be surprised this time by a scurrying red beetle with chompers the size of a vampire's fangs. He lost his favorite coffee mug fending off the creature, and even then he needed to batter it with Jack's little black book before it stopped its maniacal scurrying and hissing.
Owen's head popped back up over the desk as the "jingle jingle jingle" got louder and even more closer. His breath caught in his throat as his face smacked right into a white cloud of fur.
"Ho-ho- OW! Owen!"
Owen grabbed the edge of the desk with one hand to keep from falling down. He reached up and gingerly cupped his suddenly throbbing forehead. "Jack! What in bloody hell? For Christ's sake!" Owen rubbed his head as he rummaged through his desk for some painkillers.
"That wasn't exactly the sensation I like to experience on Christmas either," Jack said as he pulled the white beard off and felt his chin. "What were you looking for?"
"I forgot you were still here and I was hearing things."
"The ghosts of your Christmas' past?"
Owen choked on his own spit as he bit his tongue, making a slight gagging sound. Opening the pill bottle, Owen dumped three little white pills into his palm and then choked them down.
"Never mind." Jack stroked his chin. "Doesn't seem like anything is broken."
"Great, because I didn't feel like patching you up right now Father Christmas. What is up with the fancy dress?" Owen flopped back down into his chair and kicked up his one foot onto the corner of the desk, his legs slightly spread open. "Can I slide down your North Pole, Santa?"
Before he could blink, Jack had taken one big step and glided right in between Owen's legs and leaned over the younger man, his fake belly poking Owen. "Don't offer any presents you can't deliver." Jack put his hand on top of the desk, covering Owen's own hand. Owen could feel a warmth from Jack.
"I could deliver faster and more accurately than Rudolph could ever hope of," Owen snipped back. "But I would hate for teaboy to get jealous of me and a reindeer. So, what's with the dress?"
Jack leered at Owen a moment longer and then pulled back, and grabbed the chair from Gwen's desk. He sat down into it and readjusted his belly. Jack smiled at Owen. "Just a little something I do every Christmas since the war. Give something to the kids who have no one left, orphans of time."
"Oh." Owen sat speechless. Despite what had happened with John that morning, Jack still thought of his other obligations, unlike Owen. He brought his foot back down and leaned forward towards Jack. "You've done this every year?"
"Yep," Jack said as he opened the top flap of his Santa jacket.
"Why is the first time anyone here has seen this?" Owen picked up the pen that sat next to him and began to twiddle it between his two fingers.
"No one is usually here on Christmas, I keep watch." Jack readjusted the Santa belly once more. "Why are you here? I thought you finished the autopsy on the Blatzsker male hours ago."
"Uh, yeah... I did." Owen looked down and leaned back in his chair. The pen fiddling got even more agitated. "Mother isn't even in the country this year, must less remembering to call to wish a Happy Holiday."
"Wow, Owen, I'm sorry about that."
"Don't even give me that Jack, you could care less about whether or not we even talk to our families." Or care about whatever else we have to give up, Owen thought to himself.
"You're wrong Owen. Contrary to your beliefs I do care." Jack rolled the chair closer to Owen, their knees touching. "You haven't spoken to them in a while, have you?"
"What is this, Freud? In a Santa suit?" Owen leaned back , tipping the chair a little.
"Nah, he never liked to dress up, but, if you were really wondering where some of his phallic theories came from..." A warm smile spread across Jack's face and his eyes got a faraway look as he reveled in a memory.
"What!?" Owen found himself still able to be shocked by Jack sometimes, and thusly found himself on the floor as the chair tipped further back than he had figured on it happening. "OW!" Owen's head hit the metal floor by the desk as Jack jumped up. Owen looked up at Jack, his feet still in the air. "Merry fucking Christmas to me!"
"Well, it doesn't seem like there's any brain trauma," Jack responded as he grabbed Owen by the hand and pulled him and the chair up.
"Very funny. Owen rubbed his lower back and butt with his hand as he stared at the little Christmas tree on Gwen's desk. It had been her attempt to cheer up the place, a little redecorating to Christmas-fy the Hub as it were. "Boy! This reminds me of the Christmases of my childhood. Not much under the tree I wanted then either. Not like I would have gotten what I wished for anyway."
"Owen, why don't you come out with me," Jack asked as he readjusted the belly one more time and tidied up the suit.
"Not my type of kink fat man," Owen quipped as he gingerly sat down in his chair again and rolled in front of the computer.
"That's not what I was thinking, but I have never done it in the suit." Jack smiled and then snapped back to Owen. "Anyways, if you aren't doing anything, I could use some help, you could be an--"
"If you say elf, I am leaving, but not before letting Janet roam free."
"I was going to say assistant, but you would look cute as an elf. Red is your color."
Owen rolled his eyes as he looked back over his shoulder at Jack. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. I could use the help. I met this nun, and now I have a couple of more orphans to see. I would like it, a lot, if you could help me." Jack headed back towards his office. "I need to go get some of the presents. Think about it."
Owen sat there for several minutes, just staring at the rift patterns on Tosh's terminal. It would definitely be something different to do for the holiday. Plus, if worse came to worse he would be done in no time, and could lie in the rest of the day. The pub down the street had some good specials for Christmas dinner. It might even get his mind off her for a couple of minutes.
"Bollocks on you mother," Owen said as he stood up from his desk and grabbed his leather jacket. Owen thought bitterly. He eased into the supple leather and headed towards Jack's office, meeting the older man as he emerged carrying a big red sack with brightly colored packages peeking out of the top. "Wow Santa, your sack is so big."
Jack winked at Owen and grinned lasciviously.
"You really go all out huh, Jack?"
"They are good kids, with rotten luck."
"I think I know how they feel sometimes." Owen zipped up and burrowed his hands into his pockets. "Are you going to pull out any reindeer or are we taking the SUV?"
"The SUV, but I will be checking on reindeer for next year if you want to come again."
"We'll see how this year goes. But, if anybody calls me Tiny Tim, I am out of here."
"Thank you, Owen."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Owen started walking past Jack to go to the garage when Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Jack gave Owen a quick peck on the lips and then let him go. "What was that for?"
"You were standing under the mistletoe," Jack said as he picked up the big red sack and headed towards Christmas Day.
"I am going to kill Gwen," Owen muttered as he ran to catch up.
Edited to change the header,some typos, and a little timeline problem.