I Can't
I Can't
“Tell me Dean.” Sam said, his voice soft and low as he leaned over his body.
“Sammy…” Dean’s voice was broken as Sam dropped closer, his lips a breathe away from Dean’s. His body was pressed hard against his, one hand holding tightly to his hip as the other pulled at Dean’s neck to keep him from backing away.
“I’ll give you anything you want Dean, just tell me.”
“I can’t…”
Sam knew what the trouble was, knew what it was that kept Dean’s tongue and he wanted nothing more than to break that hold over him. He breathed a line down Dean’s neck, licked at the hollow just behind his ear. “Tell me what you want Dean… just tell me you want me, you want this.”
“Sammy… please…”
He knew what Dean needed, knew what he wanted and suddenly it was enough that he knew. Tonight, like every other night since this had started, it was enough. Tomorrow he would want more, like every other night since this had started, but he would deal with that tomorrow.
He kissed Dean then, felt Dean’s relieved shudder as he pressed Sam back into the wall. Then he was being pushed back onto the bed and it was everything Sam wanted, everything except those words that he needed so badly to hear.
When Dean entered his body he clung to him, felt his brother shake with desire and need, pressed himself as tightly as he could when Dean began to thrust inside him. When he climaxed he held him close and bit his lip when Dean sat at the edge of the bed, ready to go back to the other bed and pretend, for another day, that this never happened.
He let a hand fall down Dean’s back as his brother’s head dropped to his hands. The self-recriminations, the guilt that Dean piled on himself for this were mounting already and nothing Sam ever said was enough to stop it.
“Dean, I l-”
“I can’t Sam.” He heard Dean say. “I can’t talk about this. You know what I…” He shook his head. “But I can’t…”
“Tell me Dean.” Sam said, his voice soft and low as he leaned over his body.
“Sammy…” Dean’s voice was broken as Sam dropped closer, his lips a breathe away from Dean’s. His body was pressed hard against his, one hand holding tightly to his hip as the other pulled at Dean’s neck to keep him from backing away.
“I’ll give you anything you want Dean, just tell me.”
“I can’t…”
Sam knew what the trouble was, knew what it was that kept Dean’s tongue and he wanted nothing more than to break that hold over him. He breathed a line down Dean’s neck, licked at the hollow just behind his ear. “Tell me what you want Dean… just tell me you want me, you want this.”
“Sammy… please…”
He knew what Dean needed, knew what he wanted and suddenly it was enough that he knew. Tonight, like every other night since this had started, it was enough. Tomorrow he would want more, like every other night since this had started, but he would deal with that tomorrow.
He kissed Dean then, felt Dean’s relieved shudder as he pressed Sam back into the wall. Then he was being pushed back onto the bed and it was everything Sam wanted, everything except those words that he needed so badly to hear.
When Dean entered his body he clung to him, felt his brother shake with desire and need, pressed himself as tightly as he could when Dean began to thrust inside him. When he climaxed he held him close and bit his lip when Dean sat at the edge of the bed, ready to go back to the other bed and pretend, for another day, that this never happened.
He let a hand fall down Dean’s back as his brother’s head dropped to his hands. The self-recriminations, the guilt that Dean piled on himself for this were mounting already and nothing Sam ever said was enough to stop it.
“Dean, I l-”
“I can’t Sam.” He heard Dean say. “I can’t talk about this. You know what I…” He shook his head. “But I can’t…”