Scorch Marks
Title: Scorch Marks
Verse: Further Interruptions
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed, mentions of past Ed/Winry
Summary: And then Ed realized the truth. Mustang didn’t have anyone else to call.
Author’s Note: Thank you to @kzellr for the beta and for prompting me so many times with this verse and anything else Roy/Ed :P Also… time travel turned this verse angsty. Now you know.
Of all the things to happen tonight, this was the last he’d expected. Not just tonight, either. Any of it.
“Brother?”
“Yeah, Al.”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just need to go out for a while.”
He watched as Al crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s him again, isn’t it?”
Ed closed his eyes and tried not to let his brother read too much into what he was seeing. Alphonse had always been too damn observant though and Ed knew it wasn’t worth the effort. He just had to keep one big secret. Alphonse already knew something was going on. Ed just needed to keep him from knowing who was behind it.
“He just needs someone to talk to.”
“I understand that, Brother, but what I don’t understand is why you won’t tell me who he is.”
Because Alphonse would worry even more. Because it wasn’t his secret to tell. Because Alphonse would understand that Ed was far too deep emotionally for this to be okay.
And Ed couldn’t say no. He had to take care of his … well… that was the biggest problem, wasn’t it? Ed wasn’t anything to Roy except his subordinate. But when he turned it the other way around … Ed knew things he shouldn’t. Like one day he would fall in the love with the bastard. One day they’d be married. One day Mustang’s crazy schemes would pay off and he’d be the Fuhrer. One day, they’d have two amazing kids who would travel back in time and set Ed on this course to begin with.
Yeah, not exactly something easy to explain.
“He’s just this guy. It’s …. just not a good time. I’ll introduce you someday.” He should have kept his mouth shut because he was shit at lying to Alphonse, but his brother just frowned.
“One of these days I’m going to get to the phone first.”
“One of these days I’ll introduce you, I promise Al. I just need to go, okay?”
“How long will you be gone?”
His brother disapproved but as much as Ed hated to keep a secret, he thought Alphonse would be even more against him leaving if he knew where he was going. He grabbed his jacket from the chair and shrugged. “Not sure. I might not be back tonight though.”
“Ed.”
He stopped to look at his brother and it wasn’t disapproval in his brother’s eyes, but sympathy. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
Ed let out a deep breath because something about Al’s expression made Ed think he knew. He knew exactly where Ed was going.
“No, I really don’t. But I’ve never let that stop me before.”
He left before his brother could.
***
The night air was cool, and Ed was grateful for that. It helped to settle his nerves and to hide the red of his face behind the weather. Mustang didn’t need to think the flush that covered his cheeks was from knowing that Mustang had needed him tonight. From knowing that his CO trusted him enough to reach out to him.
Since Ed was 12, he’d held a grudging respect for the Flame Alchemist. Even when Ed hated him, he couldn’t help but admire the man for the way his mind stepped to a dance that no one else saw. To be allowed to see Mustang when he was falling apart, when he was at his lowest, to be the person Mustang needed to prop him up and keep him going, it was heady.
He tried, as he stared at the front of the house, to remember what it had felt like, not to know.
Not to know his future.
Not to know this path that was laid out ahead of him.
He couldn’t. It messed with his head some nights. He wasn’t gay. He knew that. He’d really cared about Winry and he’d been prepared to marry her at one point, until he’d tried to live in one place for too long and they’d both realized they were far better off as friends.
So, what did this mean? Sure, he was attracted to Mustang, but who wasn’t? It wasn’t even a beauty thing, though the guy was unfairly attractive. It was just the way he exuded confidence and charisma. He was charming and observant, and he could make you feel like every word you said was the most important think he’d ever heard.
Ed ran a hand through his hair and took a step towards the door. He didn’t want to think about it. Instead, he just went where he was needed. Whatever happened, happened. Ed had been making shit up as he went along his entire life.
Mustang wasn’t going to be the thing that killed him. Though maybe their children would, if what Tishy said was anything to go by.
Ed knocked on the door and waited with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t have to wait long before the night air was warmed by the light of Mustang’s home.
The man himself stood highlighted but he didn’t speak. Instead, he stepped back and Ed followed him in. He kicked his boots off and Mustang took his jacket and hung it by the door for him. Ed didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure how to start this. It was easier, in the middle of the night, over the phone, to ask what was wrong. To listen to Mustang’s pained confessions of his past and his nightmares.
Mustang turned to walk back towards the kitchen and Ed followed. Water began to whistle from a kettle on the stove and it broke Ed from the silence. There was water on the stove, but he didn’t miss the bottle of whiskey that was carefully hidden behind a set of canisters.
“Tea?”
Mustang took the water off the heat. He answered but he kept his back to Ed as he prepared a pot of tea. “It was better than the alternative and I needed to keep my hands busy.”
Ed nodded because somehow that was easier to respond to than the odd formality that had followed them since the front door. “I like tea.”
Roy gave him a tight smile as he put the pot on the tray and led Ed back towards the living room. A fire was going, which was better than the first time Ed had come over, when the mention of a fire had turned Roy pale.
Mustang sat on the couch and poured a mug of tea as Ed settled into the chair beside the couch. He took the tea and sipped it politely. He wasn’t sure what else to do. He didn’t know why Mustang had called him to begin with, but he was willing to wait the other man out.
“How is Alphonse doing?” Mustang asked as he sat back with his tea. “I heard his latest trip to Xing was successful.”
Ed nodded. “Yeah. He wanted to come into the office to talk to you about it. I think he’s going to stop by next week.”
Ed took another drink, but he watched Mustang as he did. The man was looking into his cup and Ed could see the tightness of his eyes and the thin set of his lips. Whatever made him call had him tense and on edge, even if he seemed to be in control.
“Alphonse is welcome any time,” Mustang answered.
Ed sat his cup down then because he was done with whatever this was.
“Why am I here, Mustang?” he asked. “I’m glad you’ve been calling when you need to, but you didn’t call me over tonight for tea.”
Mustang placed his mug on the table and sat back, looking at Ed. “I don’t know why I called you, Ed.”
“So you always keep a bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter?”
Mustang ground his teeth and Ed knew he was pushing buttons he should probably leave be, but that had never been his style.
“I usually have a bottle somewhere in the house,” Mustang said.
“So why call me tonight? Why say you didn’t want it and keep it sitting there?”
“I don’t know!” Mustang said it between clenched teeth but he was off the couch and he moved to stand in front of the fireplace. “I didn’t want to wake from nightmares again and that’s all the bottle was going to give me tonight.”
“And what am I supposed to give you?”
He lowered his head and spoke softly, “If I knew…”
Ed let out a deep breath and stood. He moved behind Mustang, unsure of what else the man needed. “You don’t need to know, you know?” Ed said. “Sometimes, it’s okay to just need someone.”
Ed had Alphonse. Even though he and Winry had failed at their romance, they were still friends and he still had her. Who did Mustang have? Why had he told his daughter that without Ed he wouldn’t have survived? Mustang had plenty of people to call, so why Ed?
And then Ed realized the truth.
Mustang didn’t have anyone else to call.
He trusted his team completely and they were his friends, his family, but Mustang would never call on them to help with his personal demons. The only one he might call would be Hawkeye, but Ed knew she had her own trouble dealing with the past they shared. He’d never call on her, for fear of drudging up old pains.
And Ed? Well, Ed knew he’d never really fit into any category Mustang could try to put him in. Their relationship had never really been professional. It hadn’t exactly been friendly either, but they supported each other.
“Is it, really?”
Mustang turned to look at him over his shoulder and there was something in his eyes that Ed didn’t know how to read. He swallowed against the lump in his throat as Mustang turned completely to look at him.
“Yeah,” his voice was shaking even if he didn’t know why. Something about the way Mustang looked at him was unsettling. Not in a bad way but Ed suddenly didn’t know what to do with the eyes that were on him.
Mustang moved closer and Ed backed up. Mustang smirked and he continued. “Is it, even if what I need is something better than a bottle to drown in?”
“Yeah,” he said, and startled because his back was suddenly to the wall and Mustang was still moving closer.
“Some one to drown in?”
And Ed understood the look then. He understood exactly why Mustang had called him.
He thought about waking up with Mustang on the couch and how it had felt when he’d been able to watch him, unguarded. He thought about the future and what he knew would be. He thought about what Mustang needed and how much the man had sacrificed over the years to help Ed and his brother, to protect his team, and to try to make Amestris a better place.
“Everyone needs somebody,” Ed answered, and his voice was stronger now.
Mustang leaned closer and Ed put his hand up on the other man’s chest and curled his fingers into the fabric of his shirt. He should push him away. He knew that. This wasn’t about Mustang wanting Ed or vice versa. This was just a way to fight Mustang’s inner war and Ed was about to become another weapon in his arsenal; a different kind of bottle to kill the poison in his head.
He raised his head slightly and curled his fingers tighter. He was expecting it, but Roy’s lips pressed against his forcefully and he gasped against the attack. Roy’s tongue slipped between his lips when his lips parted and Ed was lost to the feeling of Roy as the other man’s chest pressed him to the wall. One hand buried itself in his hair and the other pressed against Ed’s hip and held him tight.
Roy pulled back slightly and bit at Ed’s bottom lip and he groaned at the feel of it. He was overwhelmed by it. The wall against his back, the feel of Mustang pressed to the front of his body, lips against his, a tongue tangled with his own, fingers pulling his hair perfectly to make him moan.
He’d never felt like this before. Never had the chance. He’d spent most of his life chasing the impossible. At 16 he’d defeated a would-be god and gotten his brother’s body back. He’d travelled and returned to Resembool to give his relationship with Winry a try, but there’d never been more than blind fumblings that never went far. Neither had known what they were doing, and they’d never gathered the experience together to figure it out. His return to Central had become about friends and work and keeping up with his little brother. No one else understood Ed. No one could. He was an old man in a young man’s body, but even his body was broken with use.
Mustang understood. Better than anyone.
So Ed didn’t fight the insistent way Mustang pulled at his clothes, or the way they moved through the house, crashing into walls and knocking things over. By the time they landed in bed they were already naked, and Ed had more bite marks than he could count. Mustang had more bite marks than Ed could count.
There was nothing gentle in the way Mustang touched him. He was needy and desperate but it just fed into Ed’s own need to give Mustang whatever he wanted.
“Fullmetal, fuck,” Mustang whispered as he pressed a finger inside of Ed.
Ed bit his own lip hard enough to bleed. He wanted to look over his shoulder at Mustang but he’d never done anything like this before and his whole body was flushed and he knew if he looked back that Mustang would understand. That he’d see Ed’s inexperience in his face and he’d stop.
Instead, he pushed back into Mustang’s hands and when the other man found the right spot, he damn near shouted. Mustang chuckled behind him as he quickly worked Ed open. It was probably too fast, but Ed wasn’t a damn baby and he could take whatever Mustang wanted to give him tonight.
By the time three fingers had fucked him open, Roy was pressed against his back, tasting and biting across his shoulders. “Fullmetal, I need- “
“Yeah, come on, Mustang,” he encouraged.
Mustang pulled at his hip with one hand and Ed moved up until the other man had shoved a pillow under him, then pushed Ed back down onto his stomach. Mustang followed and he was blanketed with the man’s weight. It was like nothing he knew and Ed loved the feel of it.
The Mustang he knew was always in charge, always cool and collected, but here was the fire that he was so well known for, let loose and running wild with Ed in his arms. Yeah, he could get used to this.
He felt the blunt press of Mustang’s cock against him and he let out a deep breath to try to relax. It hurt like hell, but he knew it would. He was opened too fast, not enough lube, and Mustang was too impatient, but Ed had known that’s how it would happen tonight.
He gripped the sheets in his hands and dropped his forehead to the pillow as Mustang pushed in with one long thrust.
“Fullmetal,” the man moaned into his neck.
He let out a shaky laugh because he’d never heard Mustang sound so vulnerable before. He pressed his body back and felt Mustang roll his hips. Ed moaned that time and Mustang placed a surprisingly tender kiss to his neck.
He felt Mustang pull the hair tie from his ponytail then and Ed’s hair fell in a curtain around his face. “You are so damn beautiful,” his CO said as he pulled back and began to lightly thrust into Ed.
He kept saying it, over and over again, as he fucked Ed. His hand wound its way into Ed’s hair and never let go. His thrusts became harder, more wild, as he lost himself in passion, but his hand in Ed’s hair was always gentle.
When he flipped Ed onto his back, Ed closed his eyes and let himself be moved. He focused on the feel of Mustang inside of him, his hand on Ed’s cock, slowly pumping him in time with each push of his hips. Ed dug his feet into the mattress and pushed back into Mustang’s body every time.
It didn’t take long before he felt the way Mustang began to shake, felt his thrusts become erratic and his hand left Ed’s cock as he leaned over Ed.
“Come with me, Fullmetal,” he whispered against his lips before he pressed his own there.
It was the first kiss they’d shared since Mustang had flipped him onto his stomach and started this. It was open mouthed and more a sharing of air than a kiss, but it was far more intimate than the others had been.
Ed felt Mustang shift his hips and then he was hitting that spot inside of Ed again and all Ed could do was moan into Mustang’s mouth.
Orgasm hit him suddenly and he felt Mustang’s hips stutter until he thrust deep into Ed and kept going until he was so damn close there was nowhere else to go.
“Fullmetal!”
Ed opened his eyes then and gasped at the vision of Mustang above him, passion and lust making him flushed. He wrapped both hands into Mustang’s hair and pulled him down for another kiss, just so he didn’t have to watch him.
They kissed like that for a while; Mustang rolled his hips every so often to remind Ed he was still inside him and Ed moaned because he couldn’t help himself.
When Mustang finally pulled away from him, he fell onto his back beside Ed. Ed didn’t know what to do so he just laid there, staring at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. He felt a slight tug on his hair and realized that Mustang still had it in his hand.
“Got a thing for my hair?” he said, before he could stop himself.
Mustang smirked. “You have beautiful hair, Ed. How could I fail to admire it?”
Ed just rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure what to do next so he turned onto his side. He got up on one arm, prepared to get dressed and get the hell out before this got weird, but Mustang wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back against his chest.
“Hey!” Ed protested, but he allowed Mustang to move him where he wanted. This time.
“Stay.”
“You could have just asked.”
“I rather assumed the invitation to my bed was enough.”
Ed snorted. “If I remember correctly, there weren’t any actual words in that invitation. In fact, I wasn’t sure we were going to make it off the stairs and to the bed at one point.”
Ed felt Mustang move his hair to bare part of his neck before he pressed his lips to it. “We might not have, but I realized I had made … erroneous assumptions … and that we should at least make it to bed tonight.”
“What assumptions?” Ed asked.
Mustang leaned back and pushed Ed onto his back so that he was looking up at him.
“That I wasn’t your first.”
“Oh,” Ed looked away, trying to minimize the impact. “That.”
“That. You should have said something. I … this …”
“Don’t. I’m grateful my first time was with someone who actually knew what they were doing.”
“So it was somewhat enjoyable for you?”
“Fuck you, you know!” he swatted at Mustang but the man grabbed his hands and pushed them up over his head and held them there. Ed wanted to protest more, but the look Mustang suddenly gave him stopped him entirely.
“You shouldn’t have picked up the phone tonight, Ed,” his CO said, his eyes dark and shuttered.
“You say that every time I pick up.”
“I don’t deserve to have you here, in my bed.”
“Consider it payback for all the shit I put up with at work.”
“I…,” Mustang let go of his hands and he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Ed’s lips. His hand twirled a strand of blond hair idly as he looked down at Ed. “Last night, I had a dream.”
“You didn’t call me.”
Mustang rolled his eyes that time. “I don’t call every time I have a nightmare, Ed,” he admitted. Ed had wondered about that but he didn’t say anything else. Mustang was finally getting to whatever he needed tonight.
“Everything was dark around me, like on the Promised Day, but then I realized I had just closed my eyes. When I opened them I knew the darkness was still out there, but above me was a curtain of gold. It was you. You were above me, between me and whatever was out there. Your hair fell around me and when I looked up, it was your eyes that gave me the strength to push away the darkness. You protect me, even in my dreams now. But I’m broken in so many damn ways and you don’t deserve to be used like this. You shouldn’t let me call again Ed. Because I will and I’ll ask you to stay. And you’ll come, won’t you?”
Ed knew what he was saying. He knew Mustang better than most anyone these days. “Of course.”
“You should go home,” Mustang said as he fell onto his back, his hand still buried in Ed’s hair.
“You don’t want me to,” Ed told him.
Mustang pulled Ed into his arms and Ed threw his arm over his chest and let his head rest on Mustang’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry I’m not strong enough.”
“I’m here,” Ed reminded him. “I’ll be right here until you are.”
“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your golden armor.”
Ed felt Mustang’s arm tighten around him and he felt the man as the pain hit again, the sobs that had come when Ed had held him the first time. “I’ve got you,” Ed said, maneuvering them both into the opposite position so that Mustang’s head was on his shoulder and he was able to comfort the other man better.
He spent half the night with Mustang in his arms like that, the rest of it with his face in the mattress as Mustang thrust away his demons inside of Ed’s body.
When Ed finally felt his eyes drooping into sleep, Mustang pressed one last kiss to his lips and settled against him. “I don’t deserve you, Gold.”
Ed would protest but he was too damn tired.
“You should have let me drown in the bottle, Ed. You are far too tempting and I’m only human. I will burn us both to the ground with this. In the end, all you will have are scorch marks where my hands have touched you, and the memory of someone who was too damaged to love you right.”
Ed fell asleep to those words, to hands buried in his hair, and to matching tears on his face and neck.