As Promised
Title: As Promised
Author: hunters_retreat
Rating: NC-17
Summary: You promised you’d always come home. I promised to be here and I am, Jensen. I’m still waiting. So you do your thing.
Author's Note: for My trope Bingo Card, even if it's past the deadline. This was for the epistolary square. I had no idea what that meant when I got my card so this was my first attempt at anything like this. Hope you like :P
“Hey babe. I know this sucks. I was supposed to be home three months ago but they keep saying… you know. Soon. I miss you. The guys make fun of me but I pull out your picture each night and fall asleep staring at it. I’m supposed to be this bad ass, heartless sniper and here I am practically crying myself to sleep at night. They’re good guys though and I’m not the only one sleeping with a picture. “
He shifted slightly and ran his hand through his short hair. “I got the package you sent. I think this was the birthday package you told me you sent. It’s a little late but I finally got it. Thank you, Jared. We don’t get a lot of packages this far out in space and when we do it all gets shared around, you know? A way to remind ourselves why we’re fighting. I think if you weren’t already married you’d have a few proposals when we get back for the candy you sent. Thanks for hiding the chocolates in my socks. I wouldn’t have gotten any if I hadn’t found them later when no one else was watching.”
“I gotta go. They only let us have the dream-sender for a few minutes. Not that you don’t already know that. I swear I’ll get better at this once I get used to it. They said you’d get one too. A chance to go into the base and use a dream-sender to send sleep-signals if you wanted to. I love the packages but it’d be nice to hear your voice again too. If you wanted. I just … I miss you, babe. Miss you so much. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I love you.”
***
“Wow, this is really strange. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, Jensen. I got your last sleep-signal, obviously. I figured you’d be sharing the package I sent so I snuck the chocolates in hoping you’d get some for yourself. I know you though. I bet you ate a few and gave the rest to your unit.” Jared laughed as he said it.
“I uh … I miss you too. And tell those guys I appreciate the proposals but I’m a happily married man. Or I will be once my husband gets back home to me. They can’t tell me anything more about when you’ll be back. They won’t tell me where you are either. They just … tell me you’ll be home soon. I keep telling your mama the same thing. You’ll be home soon, but I can see the worry in her eyes. You were supposed to be back four months ago and each day she thinks the worst. I hate myself for suggesting this because seeing you in my dreams, knowing you were talking to me, it was like being able to breathe again for a few minutes, but next time maybe you should call your mom? She needs to see your face again. Just an idea.”
Jared ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. “I love you, Jensen. I can’t wait for you to get home. So whatever is keeping you, you kick it in the ass, alright? You kick it in the ass and you come home because we’re all waiting for you. I need you back, Jensen. So come home soon.”
***
“Hey babe. I got another package from you. Matt and Richard said thanks for the magazines. They were pissed about the ending of the book though so I’m not sure they like you right now. Brock loved the book, but I think he’s so in love with you he’d love anything you sent. So stop encouraging him,” Jensen said with a laugh.
“It’s cold here all the time. It used to make me crazy, the way you turned into a heater every time I fell asleep with you but I crave that warmth now. Hell, even if you were half frozen I’d still crave you. Missing you is making me a little crazy. Matt and Misha get it. They’re both married. Misha’s anniversary was last month and he got a package from her yesterday. Two packages in one week. It felt like a party for our unit. Doesn’t make me miss you less though.”
“We’re supposed to be heading back to base. I heard they finally got the snappers out of it. Damn aliens. Misha said he watched a man get snapped in two by one of them before he joined our unit. I’ve been lucky enough to miss that particularly gruesome sight. Sorry, you probably didn’t want to hear about that. Anyway, the base is supposed to be clean now so we’re heading back this week. If that happens, we can get the ships running again, get new troops in, and our unit can finally come home.”
Jensen looked down at his feet before he looked back up again. “I gotta get home soon, Jared. I miss you so damn much. I love you. Just remember that, okay? No matter what happens. I’m gonna come home to you soon.”
***
“Hey, Jensen. I sent another package out to you. I never know when they’ll get to you so I just keep sending things. Whenever I see something that makes me think of you I pick it up. I’m glad you and the guys are getting some laughs out of it. I met with Matt and Misha’s wives last week. They’re really great ladies. We were all there dropping off packages. So you guys can look forward to plenty more.”
“I … I’m having a hard time sleeping. I miss you sleeping next to me. I knew before we got married that this was part of our life but you’ve never been gone this long. With all the talk on the news about the snappers getting bolder and the delays, I can’t help but worry. Everyone we know is worried though they keep trying to hide it from me.” Jared let out a soft snort. “Like I don’t know what’s happening. Anyway, I finally finished the extra room. When you get home we’ll have an office. I won’t have to annoy you with my calls and yelling at my computer anymore and I won’t get annoyed with your music and movies. Not that I would. Jesus, if you‘d just come home you could watch crappy horror movies all day long and I wouldn’t care. I just want you home. So come home soon, okay? Be safe and keep each other safe and come home. I love you, Jensen.”
***
“Mr. Padalecki-Ackles, it is our unfortunate duty to tell you that Lt. Colonel Jensen Padalecki-Ackles has gone missing in action. His unit was the last unit holding the snappers at bay while the other military personnel departed the station. When his unit fell back to gain entrance to the ship, the Lt. Colonel remained behind to keep the snappers from getting to the doors. His unit left the ship to join him in his fight. They have all gone missing and are currently presumed dead.”
***
“Jensen? They said you wouldn’t get this. They said … well … they said I was crazy but I know you aren’t dead. I’d feel it. I’d know. I think they’re just humoring me, letting me send you one last sleep-signal to say good-bye but I refuse. You and your unit are together somewhere, fighting. I know it. They said the station was abandoned and I did some digging. I don’t know if you have a way of getting information wherever you are, but the tropic station is still active. I don’t know if that helps or not, but there are still people on the planet. They’re not leaving yet so you get there, Jensen! You get to the tropics and you come home. You bring Matt and Misha and Richard and anyone else you find along the way and you come home to me. You promised. You promised you’d always come home. I promised to be here and I am, Jensen. I’m still waiting. So you do your thing. You kill the snappers in your way and you get your men to the tropic station and come home to me.”
A sob escaped him and he had to stop to get it under control. He couldn’t stop the tears though as he continued on. “I love you, Jensen. You’re my life so you have to come home to me. I have to see you one more time.”
***
Jared ran through the halls of the hospital, ignoring the calls of the people that tried to stop him. He knew where he was going. He’d been there before when Jensen had come home after other battles. He skidded to a stop when three men blocked his path. None of them were without injury and he wanted to plow them over but there was something in their eyes that held him still.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Jared,” one of the men said, holding his hand out. “I’m Misha. This is Matt and Richard.”
Jared’s eyes filled at the names and before he could think differently he grabbed the first man and pulled him into an embrace. “Thank god, you all made it,” he whispered into Matt’s ear. Matt held him tight before Jared was pushed towards Richard and then Misha.
“Where is he? What happened?” Jared asked the three of them.
“He’s in bad shape,” Richard answered. “It’ll be a long time before he can walk again but I know he’s stubborn enough to make it happen. But he’s … he’s in a bad place, Jared.”
“There was an explosion. We were all caught in it but Jensen was closest. He’s gonna be scarred on most of his left side. He got… his eyes are fine but there will be some scarring on his face too. He’s … he’s been inconsolable.”
“Stubborn bastard,” Jared said with a sigh. “He was always too worried about his looks.”
Matt touched Jared’s hand gently. “He’s worried about you, Jared. He’s worried you won’t-“
“That I won’t love him because of how he looks?” Jared asked incredulously.
“That you won’t love him because of the things he did to keep us all alive.” Jared let out a deep breath and closed his eyes but Matt continued on. “What you see is just the external damage.”
Jared opened his eyes and gave Matt a small smile. “Well, it’s time to dissuade him of that, isn’t it?”
He didn’t wait any longer but pushed past the three and headed into the medical room where Jensen was being kept. The door was already open so Jared stood in the doorway looking at his husband in the bed. Jensen looked like hell, and not because of the bandage on his face. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and his skin was pale where it wasn’t red from burns and scrapes. He was hooked up to machines and his side was immobilized.
When Jared took a step into the room, Jensen turned his head and his eyes widened. “Jared?”
“Jensen,” he rushed to Jensen’s bed and pressed his lips to his husband’s. One arm came up behind Jared’s neck and held him close.
When Jared pulled back slightly, Jensen’s hand tightened on his neck. “I’m not going anywhere, babe,” Jared whispered. “Jesus, I love you. How is this possible? They said … they said you were …”
It had been four months since they’d sent Jared the signal telling him his husband was dead. Four months since he’d sent one last desperate plea to his husband.
“I got your message. We survived the snapper attack on the station but we couldn’t get home. It took a long time and it was hell, but we made it to the tropic station like you said. They were packing up when we arrived and we barely made it out but …”
“But what?”
“Like you said. I promised to come home. I wasn’t going to fail on my end of the bargain, Jared. So now, I have to ask you to do the same. I know … I’m not that man you married right now. Just give me time, Jared. Wait for me. Don’t hate me for what I’ve been.”
Jared silenced him with a kiss and he didn’t care what anyone had to say as he kicked his shoes off and carefully climbed into the bed with his husband. “Not going anywhere, Jensen. You are the man I married, just as you are; heroic and worried about me, about us, when you need to worry about yourself. I’m right here. Those guys outside, they’re here too and none of us is going to give up on you getting better.”
Jensen searched his face and Jared didn’t know what he saw there, but Jensen’s eyes filled with tears and he buried his head in Jared’s neck. “I missed you so much, Jared. I love you. I’m so fucking glad to be home.”
Jared held him close and felt himself relax for the first time in two years. There was still a long way to go, but his husband was home and that was all Jared needed. “Welcome home, babe.”
Author: hunters_retreat
Rating: NC-17
Summary: You promised you’d always come home. I promised to be here and I am, Jensen. I’m still waiting. So you do your thing.
Author's Note: for My trope Bingo Card, even if it's past the deadline. This was for the epistolary square. I had no idea what that meant when I got my card so this was my first attempt at anything like this. Hope you like :P
“Hey babe. I know this sucks. I was supposed to be home three months ago but they keep saying… you know. Soon. I miss you. The guys make fun of me but I pull out your picture each night and fall asleep staring at it. I’m supposed to be this bad ass, heartless sniper and here I am practically crying myself to sleep at night. They’re good guys though and I’m not the only one sleeping with a picture. “
He shifted slightly and ran his hand through his short hair. “I got the package you sent. I think this was the birthday package you told me you sent. It’s a little late but I finally got it. Thank you, Jared. We don’t get a lot of packages this far out in space and when we do it all gets shared around, you know? A way to remind ourselves why we’re fighting. I think if you weren’t already married you’d have a few proposals when we get back for the candy you sent. Thanks for hiding the chocolates in my socks. I wouldn’t have gotten any if I hadn’t found them later when no one else was watching.”
“I gotta go. They only let us have the dream-sender for a few minutes. Not that you don’t already know that. I swear I’ll get better at this once I get used to it. They said you’d get one too. A chance to go into the base and use a dream-sender to send sleep-signals if you wanted to. I love the packages but it’d be nice to hear your voice again too. If you wanted. I just … I miss you, babe. Miss you so much. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I love you.”
***
“Wow, this is really strange. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, Jensen. I got your last sleep-signal, obviously. I figured you’d be sharing the package I sent so I snuck the chocolates in hoping you’d get some for yourself. I know you though. I bet you ate a few and gave the rest to your unit.” Jared laughed as he said it.
“I uh … I miss you too. And tell those guys I appreciate the proposals but I’m a happily married man. Or I will be once my husband gets back home to me. They can’t tell me anything more about when you’ll be back. They won’t tell me where you are either. They just … tell me you’ll be home soon. I keep telling your mama the same thing. You’ll be home soon, but I can see the worry in her eyes. You were supposed to be back four months ago and each day she thinks the worst. I hate myself for suggesting this because seeing you in my dreams, knowing you were talking to me, it was like being able to breathe again for a few minutes, but next time maybe you should call your mom? She needs to see your face again. Just an idea.”
Jared ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. “I love you, Jensen. I can’t wait for you to get home. So whatever is keeping you, you kick it in the ass, alright? You kick it in the ass and you come home because we’re all waiting for you. I need you back, Jensen. So come home soon.”
***
“Hey babe. I got another package from you. Matt and Richard said thanks for the magazines. They were pissed about the ending of the book though so I’m not sure they like you right now. Brock loved the book, but I think he’s so in love with you he’d love anything you sent. So stop encouraging him,” Jensen said with a laugh.
“It’s cold here all the time. It used to make me crazy, the way you turned into a heater every time I fell asleep with you but I crave that warmth now. Hell, even if you were half frozen I’d still crave you. Missing you is making me a little crazy. Matt and Misha get it. They’re both married. Misha’s anniversary was last month and he got a package from her yesterday. Two packages in one week. It felt like a party for our unit. Doesn’t make me miss you less though.”
“We’re supposed to be heading back to base. I heard they finally got the snappers out of it. Damn aliens. Misha said he watched a man get snapped in two by one of them before he joined our unit. I’ve been lucky enough to miss that particularly gruesome sight. Sorry, you probably didn’t want to hear about that. Anyway, the base is supposed to be clean now so we’re heading back this week. If that happens, we can get the ships running again, get new troops in, and our unit can finally come home.”
Jensen looked down at his feet before he looked back up again. “I gotta get home soon, Jared. I miss you so damn much. I love you. Just remember that, okay? No matter what happens. I’m gonna come home to you soon.”
***
“Hey, Jensen. I sent another package out to you. I never know when they’ll get to you so I just keep sending things. Whenever I see something that makes me think of you I pick it up. I’m glad you and the guys are getting some laughs out of it. I met with Matt and Misha’s wives last week. They’re really great ladies. We were all there dropping off packages. So you guys can look forward to plenty more.”
“I … I’m having a hard time sleeping. I miss you sleeping next to me. I knew before we got married that this was part of our life but you’ve never been gone this long. With all the talk on the news about the snappers getting bolder and the delays, I can’t help but worry. Everyone we know is worried though they keep trying to hide it from me.” Jared let out a soft snort. “Like I don’t know what’s happening. Anyway, I finally finished the extra room. When you get home we’ll have an office. I won’t have to annoy you with my calls and yelling at my computer anymore and I won’t get annoyed with your music and movies. Not that I would. Jesus, if you‘d just come home you could watch crappy horror movies all day long and I wouldn’t care. I just want you home. So come home soon, okay? Be safe and keep each other safe and come home. I love you, Jensen.”
***
“Mr. Padalecki-Ackles, it is our unfortunate duty to tell you that Lt. Colonel Jensen Padalecki-Ackles has gone missing in action. His unit was the last unit holding the snappers at bay while the other military personnel departed the station. When his unit fell back to gain entrance to the ship, the Lt. Colonel remained behind to keep the snappers from getting to the doors. His unit left the ship to join him in his fight. They have all gone missing and are currently presumed dead.”
***
“Jensen? They said you wouldn’t get this. They said … well … they said I was crazy but I know you aren’t dead. I’d feel it. I’d know. I think they’re just humoring me, letting me send you one last sleep-signal to say good-bye but I refuse. You and your unit are together somewhere, fighting. I know it. They said the station was abandoned and I did some digging. I don’t know if you have a way of getting information wherever you are, but the tropic station is still active. I don’t know if that helps or not, but there are still people on the planet. They’re not leaving yet so you get there, Jensen! You get to the tropics and you come home. You bring Matt and Misha and Richard and anyone else you find along the way and you come home to me. You promised. You promised you’d always come home. I promised to be here and I am, Jensen. I’m still waiting. So you do your thing. You kill the snappers in your way and you get your men to the tropic station and come home to me.”
A sob escaped him and he had to stop to get it under control. He couldn’t stop the tears though as he continued on. “I love you, Jensen. You’re my life so you have to come home to me. I have to see you one more time.”
***
Jared ran through the halls of the hospital, ignoring the calls of the people that tried to stop him. He knew where he was going. He’d been there before when Jensen had come home after other battles. He skidded to a stop when three men blocked his path. None of them were without injury and he wanted to plow them over but there was something in their eyes that held him still.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Jared,” one of the men said, holding his hand out. “I’m Misha. This is Matt and Richard.”
Jared’s eyes filled at the names and before he could think differently he grabbed the first man and pulled him into an embrace. “Thank god, you all made it,” he whispered into Matt’s ear. Matt held him tight before Jared was pushed towards Richard and then Misha.
“Where is he? What happened?” Jared asked the three of them.
“He’s in bad shape,” Richard answered. “It’ll be a long time before he can walk again but I know he’s stubborn enough to make it happen. But he’s … he’s in a bad place, Jared.”
“There was an explosion. We were all caught in it but Jensen was closest. He’s gonna be scarred on most of his left side. He got… his eyes are fine but there will be some scarring on his face too. He’s … he’s been inconsolable.”
“Stubborn bastard,” Jared said with a sigh. “He was always too worried about his looks.”
Matt touched Jared’s hand gently. “He’s worried about you, Jared. He’s worried you won’t-“
“That I won’t love him because of how he looks?” Jared asked incredulously.
“That you won’t love him because of the things he did to keep us all alive.” Jared let out a deep breath and closed his eyes but Matt continued on. “What you see is just the external damage.”
Jared opened his eyes and gave Matt a small smile. “Well, it’s time to dissuade him of that, isn’t it?”
He didn’t wait any longer but pushed past the three and headed into the medical room where Jensen was being kept. The door was already open so Jared stood in the doorway looking at his husband in the bed. Jensen looked like hell, and not because of the bandage on his face. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and his skin was pale where it wasn’t red from burns and scrapes. He was hooked up to machines and his side was immobilized.
When Jared took a step into the room, Jensen turned his head and his eyes widened. “Jared?”
“Jensen,” he rushed to Jensen’s bed and pressed his lips to his husband’s. One arm came up behind Jared’s neck and held him close.
When Jared pulled back slightly, Jensen’s hand tightened on his neck. “I’m not going anywhere, babe,” Jared whispered. “Jesus, I love you. How is this possible? They said … they said you were …”
It had been four months since they’d sent Jared the signal telling him his husband was dead. Four months since he’d sent one last desperate plea to his husband.
“I got your message. We survived the snapper attack on the station but we couldn’t get home. It took a long time and it was hell, but we made it to the tropic station like you said. They were packing up when we arrived and we barely made it out but …”
“But what?”
“Like you said. I promised to come home. I wasn’t going to fail on my end of the bargain, Jared. So now, I have to ask you to do the same. I know … I’m not that man you married right now. Just give me time, Jared. Wait for me. Don’t hate me for what I’ve been.”
Jared silenced him with a kiss and he didn’t care what anyone had to say as he kicked his shoes off and carefully climbed into the bed with his husband. “Not going anywhere, Jensen. You are the man I married, just as you are; heroic and worried about me, about us, when you need to worry about yourself. I’m right here. Those guys outside, they’re here too and none of us is going to give up on you getting better.”
Jensen searched his face and Jared didn’t know what he saw there, but Jensen’s eyes filled with tears and he buried his head in Jared’s neck. “I missed you so much, Jared. I love you. I’m so fucking glad to be home.”
Jared held him close and felt himself relax for the first time in two years. There was still a long way to go, but his husband was home and that was all Jared needed. “Welcome home, babe.”