Coming Home (Part Three)
Title: Coming Home
Author: hunters_retreat
Fandom(s): CW RPS
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20K+
Summary: Jensen Ackles may be the smartest man in the universe, but it took empath Jared Padalecki to help Jensen figure out what was important in life. It’s not easy though and when Jared gets as assignment that will take him away from the space station they call home, Jensen doesn’t take it well. When unexpected circumstances put the shuttle in danger, Jensen has to pull himself together because it will take more than his intelligence to get Jared back.
Warnings/Spoilers: graphic sex
Artist:
deadflowers5
“Jensen, there’s a message for you,” Alona spoke softly, afraid to break Jensen’s concentration away from his work too suddenly. Normally, she couldn’t force his mind elsewhere but Jensen had been waiting for a week to hear back from his lover and his attention wasn’t the same with Jared gone.
As soon as the shuttle had taken off, Jensen had thrown himself back into the science lab and into his office which he never used. It took Alona an hour to realize Jensen was composing a message to Jared and another to realize as much as he was saying, he still hadn’t recorded a damn thing. Whatever he had finally recorded though, he had his answer now.
She knew Jared and Jensen fought right before Jared’s flight left but she’d never known Jared to leave Jensen hanging like that. Jared understood Jensen’s peculiarities and Alona thought he understood the very delicate balance Jensen had with his emotions. He didn’t take well to change and Jensen had come to depend on Jared for his own stability and grounding. Alona knew better than most what that sort of grounding meant. She had been on the verge of losing her position on the station until she’d grounded herself in Jeff. It wasn’t always easy but Jeff helped her keep her sanity. She didn’t know what she’d do if he was forced to take a three month mission away from her. And she was one of the most highly integrated of the Gifted. She had no idea how Jared could miss what his departure was going to do to Jensen.
She didn’t blame Jared for fighting with Jensen - heavens knew she’d never be able to put up with Jensen on that level - but it wasn’t the fight that was the problem. It was the fact that Jared left things unsettled between them. Now with the message in hand, Alona was worried. She didn’t know what Jensen sent or how Jared would respond. She hoped Jared had enough time to understand what his absence was doing to Jensen and she hoped Jensen had been smart enough to let Jared know. He might be the smartest man in the universe, but when it came to being human Jensen was as dumb as a sack of bricks.
Jensen still hadn’t responded to her comment, so instead of trying Alona took the message and loaded the message into the computer banks with a flag for his attention. It wouldn’t take long for Jensen, connected to the computer as he was, to notice something flagged specifically for him.
She wasn’t surprised when a few minutes later she looked up from her console and found Jensen staring back up at her. He didn’t seem happy to have a message from Jared, but he was probably worried about how Jared would respond. Of all the things she knew about Jensen, his insecurities when it came to Jared was something she’d never really understood. Jared obviously loved Jensen and doted on him whenever possible. He took Jensen’s lack of social skills in stride and had made more progress helping Jensen get along with others than anyone she’d seen in all their years working together. She loved Jensen like a brother and she couldn’t deny that it made her feel good that Jensen had Jared now, but that didn’t mean she could forgive Jensen for being such an ass when he was and she wasn’t above telling him either.
Now, she wasn’t sure which one of them she wanted to drown first. When Jensen just continued to stare at her, eyes blank, not even the motion of the computers in his retina, she pointed at his office where he could listen to the message without being watched. He shook his head and to her surprise, disappeared before her eyes. A quick check on the computer told her that someone had just entered Jensen’s quarters so she knew he must have ported directly there. She didn’t call to check up on him but made a mental note to make sure that Jensen was back to work by lunch or she’d go check up on him.
Jared didn’t know what he expected. He knew the communication between the station and the shuttle would take a while; even with the relays in place it wasn’t instantaneous. Jensen’s message had taken a few days to reach them enough though Jensen had sent it a few hours after their departure. He spent the next couple days deciding what to send back to his lover before finally sending it. At that point in space the message took a week to get back to Jensen. While Jared hadn’t expected a reply back for a week and a half after that, it had been two and a half weeks and there was still no reply. Jensen made his opinion about Jared’s mission clear while Jared was still on the station. He’d also made it plain that when Jared was going to leave anyway, Jensen was going back to his work and it wouldn’t surprise Jared to know that Jensen had gone back to his other ways as well. Jensen had never had a long term relationship before Jared had come along and considering Jensen’s background, that wasn’t surprising either.
Jensen was a protégé and at a young age his family had sent him away to the most exclusive schools in the universe, finding the best tutors who could supplement his natural talents. By the age of five, Jensen wasn’t living with his family anymore. From what Jared knew Jensen hadn’t seen his family for over ten years before Jared arrived on the station. They communicated sporadically through videos and announcements sent but Jensen had no emotional connection to the family he had once lived with. Jensen’s idea of a relationship, when Jared first met him, was just about getting what he needed in the moment. With Jensen’s strength as a technopath - and a teleporter if he would try to harness that power- came the need for grounding though and as much as Jared found it hard to believe that Jensen settled on him - a man who didn’t understand the science and math that defined his work - Jared had been drawn to Jensen immediately. It wasn’t something he could understand but the bond between them had settled many arguments between them over the last two years. Now though, with the bond between them stretched further that it ever had been, Jared felt more alone and more lost than he ever had. He didn’t know how to settle this thing with Jensen and in his bitterest moments he wasn’t sure he wanted to.
Jensen’s first message had been short and simple. There had been no emotion in his voice, no frantic apologies or desperate pleas for forgiveness. He had simply said, Jared, come home safely.
There was no ‘love, Jensen’, or ‘I miss you’. Simply, ‘come home’. His own response back had been just as short. He didn’t know how to express what he was feeling to Jensen, not in a short video that Jensen would probably watch in the middle of the science lab while a dozen experiments were dancing around the back of his head. His own message simply said, Soon. Love, Jared. Even if Jensen didn’t say it, Jared felt the need to reassure Jensen that he did in fact still love him.
A soft knock at the door of his cabin caused Jared to pull away from his thoughts.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Captain Pileggi stepped into the room. “Empath Padalecki,” he said with a small, polite smile. “Do you have a minute?”
“Absolutely,” Jared said, “what can I do for you, Captain?”
“Please, call me Mitch.”
“Of course, Captain, when you remember that my name is Jared,” he said with a small smile. “What can I do for you?”
The captain took a seat next to Jared on the bench. The room was small and he was lucky they had individual quarters at all on a shuttle but the space station had the most advanced and most luxurious amenities that could be bought and the shuttle was part of the station’s property. It was one of the ways Misha kept his people sane and the station’s shuttle was no different. Jared’s room had a bed on one wall with a table and bench on the opposite wall, with drawers that folded back into the wall for his clothes. Sitting next to Captain Pileggi, Jared smiled reassuringly.
“I just want to check in with you, Jared. Have you had a chance to get to know the crew yet?”
As part of his duties in the five week journey, Jared had been asked to assess the crew of the shuttle while he reviewed the files of the outpost crew members. It wasn’t difficult to get to know the men on the shuttle. There wasn’t much room for solitude unless you spent all your time in your quarters and that was frowned upon by the captain. Jared had been able to get to know each of them a little in the two and a half weeks that they’d been together.
“I don’t have any concerns about the mental health of your crew at this point,” Jared said, understanding the captain’s concern. “You understand that I haven’t had a chance to do a full assessment but I haven’t seen any signs of trouble. I’ve talked to each of them and let them know that they are required to stop by and see me from time to time before we reach the outpost. I’ve implied that it would be better if they saw me once a week.”
Pileggi laughed at that. “So you figure they won’t come more often if you don’t imply that there is a requirement.”
Jared smiled again at the captain’s easy going manner. “They’re a close knit group of men and I don’t blame them for covering each other’s backs. But I’m just here to help them deal with their own issues and find healthy ways of coping with them. I’m not here to bust anyone off the crew. If they start coming to see me once a week in a professional capacity they’ll realize that.”
Mitch nodded. “I won’t dissuade them from that belief then. I suppose this means you want to see the captain as well?”
“That would reassure the men and give more credit to my position.”
“I don’t suppose this could count as my first meeting with you?”
Jared laughed. “I think we can count this one.”
Pileggi stood and held his hand out to shake Jared’s. Jared knew the captain was dismissing him then, even though he was in Jared’s quarters. “Thank you, Jared. I’m sure the crew is in good hands.”
He left the room and Jared was a little amused at the captain. He was a strange man, laid back and easy going when he could be but he expected the best of his people. They worked hard and they played hard and Jared could appreciate that sort of work ethic. Life as a shuttle crew was difficult. They had to rely on each other to do their jobs and it was their safety at stake. That sort of dependence developed a strong sense of unity in them and Jared was pleased to see it was reciprocated by the captain.
He took a deep breath and let go of the tension that had been eating away at him as he waited to hear back from Jensen. He pushed aside thoughts of his friends back on Vortex, of his lover, and smiled as he thought of the new friends he was making on the shuttle and the stories he’d have to tell when he got home.
Jensen blinked for a minute, taking in the change of location and holding onto the feeling of confusion as he took a few deep breaths. He knew where he was without a doubt and he wondered why he was there. He didn’t take a break from the labs often without Jared to pull him away and when he did it was never to take a leisurely stroll thought the park. The park was Jared’s sort of thing. He would get up every morning at some ridiculous hour - and yeah Jensen didn’t need a lot of sleep but he would never get out of bed with Jared for something like that - and run through the park.
The first time he realized what was happening to him, what his relationship with Jared was becoming, had been when Jensen had accidentally ported to this exact spot in the park. Jared had been heading to dinner and Jensen had found himself suddenly there, the need to find Jared completely dwarfing the need to be anywhere else. Jensen knew what that moment meant and everything else fell into place; the awkward relationship he had with the psychologist; the immediate attraction and the countering need to push him away. Jensen’s parents were bound to one another and had been since they were in high school. Jensen had never wanted that though, never wanted to need anyone else like that when his whole life had taught him that everything he could depend on was what was right there within reach of his mind. He’d lost contact with his family for a decade and they still had a strained relationship - mostly because Jensen still had a hard time dealing with the feelings of abandonment he’d had when they’d sent him away to school when he was still just a child - but he remembered the feeling of awe he’d had in his parent’s constant connection and being terrified by it at the same time. He knew, even then, that he didn’t think like most people. He never wanted someone who would be able to sense just how deep that difference went. He never had a choice with Jared though. Before he realized what was happening, he was porting into this stranger’s bedroom and was welcomed without reservation.
Jensen let out a deep breath as he started walking the path Jared normally took. Thoughts of Jared were too painful to focus on, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Jared was all he could think about which was absurd considering the things Jensen needed to focus on. He doubted Jared would ever believe it even if he admitted it once he returned. Alona was the only one who seemed to understand but she was the only one in their small circle of friends who had needed to ground herself in another person. She was walking a wide berth around him lately and Jensen hated that he was so snappish with her. She was the one keeping him together and he made a note to find a way to make it up to her. He didn’t know how - or what - could ever make up for his behavior, but he would try.
He stopped at a bench in the park and sat down, wishing that it wasn’t the dark of night. The station ran a full day cycle in the main common areas to help combat the many emotional stressors that came with long term station placement. Jensen knew that fact because Jared had talked about it one night, sitting in their bed with his arms wrapped around Jensen. Jensen had closed his eyes and listened to Jared ramble on about the things that Jeff and Misha were doing to make it a more hospitable long term environment. At the time, Jensen had been happy enough to listen and Jared hadn’t been so exhausted from his work that he just wanted to sleep.
If it had been daytime, Jensen would have at least had people passing by to break him from his thoughts. He should be back at the lab - he had been there right up until he’d felt the need to be away and suddenly found himself in the park - but he couldn’t quite make himself walk away.
“Dr. Ackles?”
Jensen had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed anyone else close by. He stared up at the tall man standing by the bench. His skin was dark like coffee and he had a large, perfectly white smile that was warm and endearing. Jensen knew him by name and reputation but not by introduction.
“Dr. Hodge,” he said, giving a polite smile - and pushing aside the thought of how proud Jared would be that he’d remembered his manners - as he stood up and offered his hand to the other man.
“Quiet enough for you out here?” The other man asked when Jensen took his seat again. Jensen just nodded, hoping that the other man would realize he didn’t want to be part of any conversation. He wasn’t getting the point though. Which was why Jensen knew he should have stuck to his usual gruff manners.
“I’m surprised to see you out and about. I’ve heard you don’t stray far from your labs, even at night.”
Jensen nodded again. “I just needed a little fresh air I guess.”
“Not sleep?”
Jensen smirked. “No. I slept last night. I should be good for another few days.”
It wasn’t entirely true. He felt tired without Jared at his side but his body wasn’t ready to shut down and without the enticement of Jared in his bed, Jensen had no desire to be there.
“I know this might be a bit forward, but you know I do research on sleep and the function and difficulties in space?”
Jensen nodded again. Dr. Hodge had published a couple papers a few years back about the difference in sleep patterns for people with pyrokinetics and hydrokinetics and why it made pyrokinetics poor choices for long term space-bound positions. His research had been able to support a new treatment for pyrokinetics who wanted to get into space and it was remarkably successful. Jensen hadn’t been needed to help with any of their experiments but he tried to keep well versed in what the rest of the station’s scientific community - outside of his own lab - were doing.
“I’d love to get some reading on you. As far as I know, you’re the only Gifted individual of any type who has the ability to go days without sleep on a regular basis. I don’t know if you have the time, but it would only be a matter of wearing a special monitor on your arm for a few weeks.”
“Why would you be interested in my sleep patterns?” Jensen asked, genuinely curious.
“We need sleep to heal and to help us deal with our unconscious problems and I’m curious about your circumstances. I’ve got this hypothesis that your sleep patterns are condensed in a way that allows you to take everything you need in a short period. It’s just an idea though, knowing what I do about the little work you’ve allowed published on yourself.”
Jensen was surprised that Hodge knew about that. Jensen had been asked to participate in a lot of studies but he’d only done a few and they had been years ago. There weren’t many technopaths and none that had Jensen’s innate mental abilities so he’d had scientists contacting him left and right when he was younger. His parents had allowed some studies, thinking it would give Jensen a deeper understanding of his differences. Little did they realize that the last thing Jensen wanted to know was how different he really was.
His initial reaction was to say no. He hadn’t allowed anyone to poke and prod him for a good fifteen years, but he knew Hodge’s reputation and he knew from Misha and Alona that he was an honest and caring person. He wasn’t Gifted but he embraced the typical and Gifted without reservation and his work was always about enlightening differences and helping people to overcome obstacles, not about making one better than the other as some typical researchers tended to be.
“Yeah, ok,” he found himself saying before he realized it.
Hodge looked surprised too. “Really?”
“Sure. I can handle an arm band for a couple weeks. Anything else?”
“I’d like to have you come in each morning for some daily readings but I could do without it.”
Jensen knew then that this was a personal experiment for Hodge’s own curiosity but Jensen didn’t have a problem with that. “Sure. When do you want me to come by?”
“Now?” Jensen’s face must have revealed his startled reaction because Hodge smiled as he looked down at his feet. “Sorry, you probably need to get some sleep or get back to work or something.”
“Nah, I’m good. We can go now.”
“Yeah? Alright, I’m just down this way,” Dr. Hodge said as he pointed down the path towards the science community’s quieter halls.
Jensen didn’t know what to think about it, or his agreement, but if he was helping a fellow scientist in a way that didn’t inconvenience him, what was the harm?
And it wouldn’t hurt to let Jared know he was doing something, besides working and moping, when he got back.
Two weeks later and Jensen was a slightly more relaxed man. He took his jacket off and set it aside as he stretched before pushing his mind back into the computer banks. The hum and energy of the computers gave him a feeling of control that Jensen lacked everywhere else in his life and he allowed that to calm him.
“Jensen, what is that?”
He focused his eyes on Alona who was staring at his arm. He looked down and realized he’d forgotten about the arm band he’d had on for the last two weeks.
“It’s for Aldis.”
“What?”
“He’s doing a study-”
“You called him Aldis.”
“That’s his name, Alona.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d know that.” There was a teasing lilt in her voice but her eyes were wary. “So what’s he doing?”
“He just wants to understand my sleep patterns. He had some theories on why I don’t sleep like most people.”
“And that’s why you’re smiling this morning?”
“I was?”
“Yeah. When I came in you were lit up like a Christmas tree. Well, you would be if you were a normal person but you had a little grin on your face and that’s about the same thing for you.”
Jensen scowled but Alona was smiling at him, worry momentarily covered up by hope. Jensen had the same feeling if he was honest with himself.
He shrugged, but he pulled her into her office. Jensen didn’t like his; he liked to work on the floor where he could reach out and touch the computers. He preferred Alona in her office though where he always knew how to find her. Before Jared, Alona had been his one real friend and she had been the only thing between him and chewing out half the science community.
When they got to her office, he got a mug of coffee - her pot was always filled with his favorite. Jensen hadn’t known that until Jared pointed it out - and sat down in the chair across from her desk. She settled in quickly too, obviously anxious to hear what he had to say.
“I got another message from Jared last night.”
“You did?”
He nodded before taking a sip of coffee. She knew they’d had a few rocky messages while Jared was gone but the last message Jensen had sent he’d finally told Jared that he was afraid Jared’s dogs would escape the backyard without Jared there to keep them in line. Jared seemed to get what Jensen was saying; he missed Jared and didn’t know if he could keep his life in order without him there anymore.
“Yeah. He told me to buy more dog toys and get some treats and I should maybe spend some time teaching the dogs tricks.”
Alona smiled but she was shaking her head. “That’s the strangest apology I’ve ever heard Jensen and I’m still amazed it worked.”
Jensen shrugged but he was still smiling like an idiot. “Yeah. He named the dogs.”
“Jared named the dogs in your head?”
Jensen nodded. “He’s coming home.”
“Of course he is,” Alona said, her smile suddenly softening.
“He has to come back if he finally named the dogs.”
The mess hall was full tonight and Jared was smiling as he looked around the room. They were all together, celebrating Kelly’s engagement. Apparently Kelly’s girl was a bit of a space geek even if she was planet bound so he’d sent her a message at the last relay station. Her favorite fictional character had been to that spot and she’s asked him once if he’d ever been that far before. This time when they hit the relay, he’d asked her to marry him. Her response had come in that morning and Kelly was grinning like an idiot. The crew seemed to think highly of her too. They’d all met over the years or sent messages back and forth and Jared could feel the honest happiness and well wishes from the others.
Mitch had called a night of celebration so they were all in the mess hall, sharing some contraband sweets that Lehne had somehow managed to stow away.
“How did you get that on the ship anyway?” Jared asked.
Fred was a great guy, always smiling and laughing, though in the beginning he’d creeped Jared out a little. “I can’t tell you that, Jared. See, that’s the deal I got with the Captain.”
Jared looked over at Mitch and the older man smiled widely. “Nothing dangerous gets on this ship, but if they can sneak a little contraband food or music or something harmless I’m more than happy to overlook it. But if I find it in my walk through they have to leave it behind.”
Jared noted the way the men seemed to take pride in duping their captain, but he also knew that the captain had a remarkable understanding of who had what on board. Jared suspected either Mitch knew about each stash and ignored it if it was well enough hidden, or that his first officer, Pellegrino, reported it all. He wasn’t sure but Mark had the devil’s luck in learning people’s secrets and Jared was no less affected by his grin that anyone else.
“Noted for next time I ship out with you,” Jared said with a grin.
On the big screen behind the table in the mess room was a large monitor and there were pictures of Brock and his girl flashing on the screen. Jared sat down and watched as he kept an eye on the rest of the room from the corner of his eye. The crew was having a good time, music playing nice and loud while they argued about everything from sports to research or who had the best pick-up lines.
The crew was young but they’d been together for a few years and Jared had been waiting for them to try to involve him. He wasn’t disappointed when the guys were suddenly sitting all around him.
“Alright Jared, fess up. What line did it for you? How did Ackles manage to snag you?” Cohan asked with her silky smooth accent. Her smile was the same, like sugar coated sin but Jared just laughed.
“Jensen isn’t one to use pick-up lines.”
“Come on! He didn’t say ‘I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves’?”
Jared started laughing with the others because a slew of pick-up lines followed and they were getting progressively worse. He had to put a stop to them when Able and Cortese - in tandem - yelled out over the others that Jared must be an alien because his ass was from outer space.
“Stop! I can’t take it!” he laughed as Cohan threw a hand over Able’s mouth from adding more to the game. “Jensen didn’t use pick-up lines, he just showed up in my bedroom.”
“Now that is ballsy,” Pellegrino said from across the table.
The captain was rolling his eyes but the rest of the crew was staring at Jared, waiting for more. It was all in fun and Jared knew he was the only one on the ship with the exception of Mitch who was in a relationship. “Not like that. He just … Jensen is a porter. He didn’t mean to do it and he just ported into my bedroom. He hasn’t really gone away since.”
Cortese smiled at him and he knew he was grinning as stupidly as Kelly was earlier but he couldn’t help it. He knew he was reading Jensen’s last communication right. He knew that in Jensen’s messed up way, he’d admitted to how much he missed Jared and that he needed him. And Jared had replied in a like manner, sure that Jensen would understand that he still loved him and that he’d be home as soon as he could. They were finally on the right track again and even if he couldn’t see Jensen, it made him feel better to know they were still good.
“You two settled things then?” Cortese said next to him.
“What?” He looked around the table and saw the nods and knowing glances and wondered how transparent he had been.
“You just… we didn’t know you weren’t happy until you suddenly were. We knew the message was from Ackles and it didn’t take much to figure out.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Jared said with a slight smile.
“We’re not the smartest man in the universe,” Able said with a wink, “but we do have our moments.”
“This apparently isn’t one of them,” the captain said, saving him from any more attention.
“Come on, Cap. You know you love us.”
“You can’t prove it,” Mitch said with a grin. “I only hired you because no one else would work with Lehne.”
On to Part IV
Author: hunters_retreat
Fandom(s): CW RPS
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20K+
Summary: Jensen Ackles may be the smartest man in the universe, but it took empath Jared Padalecki to help Jensen figure out what was important in life. It’s not easy though and when Jared gets as assignment that will take him away from the space station they call home, Jensen doesn’t take it well. When unexpected circumstances put the shuttle in danger, Jensen has to pull himself together because it will take more than his intelligence to get Jared back.
Warnings/Spoilers: graphic sex
Artist:
deadflowers5
“Jensen, there’s a message for you,” Alona spoke softly, afraid to break Jensen’s concentration away from his work too suddenly. Normally, she couldn’t force his mind elsewhere but Jensen had been waiting for a week to hear back from his lover and his attention wasn’t the same with Jared gone.
As soon as the shuttle had taken off, Jensen had thrown himself back into the science lab and into his office which he never used. It took Alona an hour to realize Jensen was composing a message to Jared and another to realize as much as he was saying, he still hadn’t recorded a damn thing. Whatever he had finally recorded though, he had his answer now.
She knew Jared and Jensen fought right before Jared’s flight left but she’d never known Jared to leave Jensen hanging like that. Jared understood Jensen’s peculiarities and Alona thought he understood the very delicate balance Jensen had with his emotions. He didn’t take well to change and Jensen had come to depend on Jared for his own stability and grounding. Alona knew better than most what that sort of grounding meant. She had been on the verge of losing her position on the station until she’d grounded herself in Jeff. It wasn’t always easy but Jeff helped her keep her sanity. She didn’t know what she’d do if he was forced to take a three month mission away from her. And she was one of the most highly integrated of the Gifted. She had no idea how Jared could miss what his departure was going to do to Jensen.
She didn’t blame Jared for fighting with Jensen - heavens knew she’d never be able to put up with Jensen on that level - but it wasn’t the fight that was the problem. It was the fact that Jared left things unsettled between them. Now with the message in hand, Alona was worried. She didn’t know what Jensen sent or how Jared would respond. She hoped Jared had enough time to understand what his absence was doing to Jensen and she hoped Jensen had been smart enough to let Jared know. He might be the smartest man in the universe, but when it came to being human Jensen was as dumb as a sack of bricks.
Jensen still hadn’t responded to her comment, so instead of trying Alona took the message and loaded the message into the computer banks with a flag for his attention. It wouldn’t take long for Jensen, connected to the computer as he was, to notice something flagged specifically for him.
She wasn’t surprised when a few minutes later she looked up from her console and found Jensen staring back up at her. He didn’t seem happy to have a message from Jared, but he was probably worried about how Jared would respond. Of all the things she knew about Jensen, his insecurities when it came to Jared was something she’d never really understood. Jared obviously loved Jensen and doted on him whenever possible. He took Jensen’s lack of social skills in stride and had made more progress helping Jensen get along with others than anyone she’d seen in all their years working together. She loved Jensen like a brother and she couldn’t deny that it made her feel good that Jensen had Jared now, but that didn’t mean she could forgive Jensen for being such an ass when he was and she wasn’t above telling him either.
Now, she wasn’t sure which one of them she wanted to drown first. When Jensen just continued to stare at her, eyes blank, not even the motion of the computers in his retina, she pointed at his office where he could listen to the message without being watched. He shook his head and to her surprise, disappeared before her eyes. A quick check on the computer told her that someone had just entered Jensen’s quarters so she knew he must have ported directly there. She didn’t call to check up on him but made a mental note to make sure that Jensen was back to work by lunch or she’d go check up on him.
Jared didn’t know what he expected. He knew the communication between the station and the shuttle would take a while; even with the relays in place it wasn’t instantaneous. Jensen’s message had taken a few days to reach them enough though Jensen had sent it a few hours after their departure. He spent the next couple days deciding what to send back to his lover before finally sending it. At that point in space the message took a week to get back to Jensen. While Jared hadn’t expected a reply back for a week and a half after that, it had been two and a half weeks and there was still no reply. Jensen made his opinion about Jared’s mission clear while Jared was still on the station. He’d also made it plain that when Jared was going to leave anyway, Jensen was going back to his work and it wouldn’t surprise Jared to know that Jensen had gone back to his other ways as well. Jensen had never had a long term relationship before Jared had come along and considering Jensen’s background, that wasn’t surprising either.
Jensen was a protégé and at a young age his family had sent him away to the most exclusive schools in the universe, finding the best tutors who could supplement his natural talents. By the age of five, Jensen wasn’t living with his family anymore. From what Jared knew Jensen hadn’t seen his family for over ten years before Jared arrived on the station. They communicated sporadically through videos and announcements sent but Jensen had no emotional connection to the family he had once lived with. Jensen’s idea of a relationship, when Jared first met him, was just about getting what he needed in the moment. With Jensen’s strength as a technopath - and a teleporter if he would try to harness that power- came the need for grounding though and as much as Jared found it hard to believe that Jensen settled on him - a man who didn’t understand the science and math that defined his work - Jared had been drawn to Jensen immediately. It wasn’t something he could understand but the bond between them had settled many arguments between them over the last two years. Now though, with the bond between them stretched further that it ever had been, Jared felt more alone and more lost than he ever had. He didn’t know how to settle this thing with Jensen and in his bitterest moments he wasn’t sure he wanted to.
Jensen’s first message had been short and simple. There had been no emotion in his voice, no frantic apologies or desperate pleas for forgiveness. He had simply said, Jared, come home safely.
There was no ‘love, Jensen’, or ‘I miss you’. Simply, ‘come home’. His own response back had been just as short. He didn’t know how to express what he was feeling to Jensen, not in a short video that Jensen would probably watch in the middle of the science lab while a dozen experiments were dancing around the back of his head. His own message simply said, Soon. Love, Jared. Even if Jensen didn’t say it, Jared felt the need to reassure Jensen that he did in fact still love him.
A soft knock at the door of his cabin caused Jared to pull away from his thoughts.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Captain Pileggi stepped into the room. “Empath Padalecki,” he said with a small, polite smile. “Do you have a minute?”
“Absolutely,” Jared said, “what can I do for you, Captain?”
“Please, call me Mitch.”
“Of course, Captain, when you remember that my name is Jared,” he said with a small smile. “What can I do for you?”
The captain took a seat next to Jared on the bench. The room was small and he was lucky they had individual quarters at all on a shuttle but the space station had the most advanced and most luxurious amenities that could be bought and the shuttle was part of the station’s property. It was one of the ways Misha kept his people sane and the station’s shuttle was no different. Jared’s room had a bed on one wall with a table and bench on the opposite wall, with drawers that folded back into the wall for his clothes. Sitting next to Captain Pileggi, Jared smiled reassuringly.
“I just want to check in with you, Jared. Have you had a chance to get to know the crew yet?”
As part of his duties in the five week journey, Jared had been asked to assess the crew of the shuttle while he reviewed the files of the outpost crew members. It wasn’t difficult to get to know the men on the shuttle. There wasn’t much room for solitude unless you spent all your time in your quarters and that was frowned upon by the captain. Jared had been able to get to know each of them a little in the two and a half weeks that they’d been together.
“I don’t have any concerns about the mental health of your crew at this point,” Jared said, understanding the captain’s concern. “You understand that I haven’t had a chance to do a full assessment but I haven’t seen any signs of trouble. I’ve talked to each of them and let them know that they are required to stop by and see me from time to time before we reach the outpost. I’ve implied that it would be better if they saw me once a week.”
Pileggi laughed at that. “So you figure they won’t come more often if you don’t imply that there is a requirement.”
Jared smiled again at the captain’s easy going manner. “They’re a close knit group of men and I don’t blame them for covering each other’s backs. But I’m just here to help them deal with their own issues and find healthy ways of coping with them. I’m not here to bust anyone off the crew. If they start coming to see me once a week in a professional capacity they’ll realize that.”
Mitch nodded. “I won’t dissuade them from that belief then. I suppose this means you want to see the captain as well?”
“That would reassure the men and give more credit to my position.”
“I don’t suppose this could count as my first meeting with you?”
Jared laughed. “I think we can count this one.”
Pileggi stood and held his hand out to shake Jared’s. Jared knew the captain was dismissing him then, even though he was in Jared’s quarters. “Thank you, Jared. I’m sure the crew is in good hands.”
He left the room and Jared was a little amused at the captain. He was a strange man, laid back and easy going when he could be but he expected the best of his people. They worked hard and they played hard and Jared could appreciate that sort of work ethic. Life as a shuttle crew was difficult. They had to rely on each other to do their jobs and it was their safety at stake. That sort of dependence developed a strong sense of unity in them and Jared was pleased to see it was reciprocated by the captain.
He took a deep breath and let go of the tension that had been eating away at him as he waited to hear back from Jensen. He pushed aside thoughts of his friends back on Vortex, of his lover, and smiled as he thought of the new friends he was making on the shuttle and the stories he’d have to tell when he got home.
Jensen blinked for a minute, taking in the change of location and holding onto the feeling of confusion as he took a few deep breaths. He knew where he was without a doubt and he wondered why he was there. He didn’t take a break from the labs often without Jared to pull him away and when he did it was never to take a leisurely stroll thought the park. The park was Jared’s sort of thing. He would get up every morning at some ridiculous hour - and yeah Jensen didn’t need a lot of sleep but he would never get out of bed with Jared for something like that - and run through the park.
The first time he realized what was happening to him, what his relationship with Jared was becoming, had been when Jensen had accidentally ported to this exact spot in the park. Jared had been heading to dinner and Jensen had found himself suddenly there, the need to find Jared completely dwarfing the need to be anywhere else. Jensen knew what that moment meant and everything else fell into place; the awkward relationship he had with the psychologist; the immediate attraction and the countering need to push him away. Jensen’s parents were bound to one another and had been since they were in high school. Jensen had never wanted that though, never wanted to need anyone else like that when his whole life had taught him that everything he could depend on was what was right there within reach of his mind. He’d lost contact with his family for a decade and they still had a strained relationship - mostly because Jensen still had a hard time dealing with the feelings of abandonment he’d had when they’d sent him away to school when he was still just a child - but he remembered the feeling of awe he’d had in his parent’s constant connection and being terrified by it at the same time. He knew, even then, that he didn’t think like most people. He never wanted someone who would be able to sense just how deep that difference went. He never had a choice with Jared though. Before he realized what was happening, he was porting into this stranger’s bedroom and was welcomed without reservation.
Jensen let out a deep breath as he started walking the path Jared normally took. Thoughts of Jared were too painful to focus on, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Jared was all he could think about which was absurd considering the things Jensen needed to focus on. He doubted Jared would ever believe it even if he admitted it once he returned. Alona was the only one who seemed to understand but she was the only one in their small circle of friends who had needed to ground herself in another person. She was walking a wide berth around him lately and Jensen hated that he was so snappish with her. She was the one keeping him together and he made a note to find a way to make it up to her. He didn’t know how - or what - could ever make up for his behavior, but he would try.
He stopped at a bench in the park and sat down, wishing that it wasn’t the dark of night. The station ran a full day cycle in the main common areas to help combat the many emotional stressors that came with long term station placement. Jensen knew that fact because Jared had talked about it one night, sitting in their bed with his arms wrapped around Jensen. Jensen had closed his eyes and listened to Jared ramble on about the things that Jeff and Misha were doing to make it a more hospitable long term environment. At the time, Jensen had been happy enough to listen and Jared hadn’t been so exhausted from his work that he just wanted to sleep.
If it had been daytime, Jensen would have at least had people passing by to break him from his thoughts. He should be back at the lab - he had been there right up until he’d felt the need to be away and suddenly found himself in the park - but he couldn’t quite make himself walk away.
“Dr. Ackles?”
Jensen had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed anyone else close by. He stared up at the tall man standing by the bench. His skin was dark like coffee and he had a large, perfectly white smile that was warm and endearing. Jensen knew him by name and reputation but not by introduction.
“Dr. Hodge,” he said, giving a polite smile - and pushing aside the thought of how proud Jared would be that he’d remembered his manners - as he stood up and offered his hand to the other man.
“Quiet enough for you out here?” The other man asked when Jensen took his seat again. Jensen just nodded, hoping that the other man would realize he didn’t want to be part of any conversation. He wasn’t getting the point though. Which was why Jensen knew he should have stuck to his usual gruff manners.
“I’m surprised to see you out and about. I’ve heard you don’t stray far from your labs, even at night.”
Jensen nodded again. “I just needed a little fresh air I guess.”
“Not sleep?”
Jensen smirked. “No. I slept last night. I should be good for another few days.”
It wasn’t entirely true. He felt tired without Jared at his side but his body wasn’t ready to shut down and without the enticement of Jared in his bed, Jensen had no desire to be there.
“I know this might be a bit forward, but you know I do research on sleep and the function and difficulties in space?”
Jensen nodded again. Dr. Hodge had published a couple papers a few years back about the difference in sleep patterns for people with pyrokinetics and hydrokinetics and why it made pyrokinetics poor choices for long term space-bound positions. His research had been able to support a new treatment for pyrokinetics who wanted to get into space and it was remarkably successful. Jensen hadn’t been needed to help with any of their experiments but he tried to keep well versed in what the rest of the station’s scientific community - outside of his own lab - were doing.
“I’d love to get some reading on you. As far as I know, you’re the only Gifted individual of any type who has the ability to go days without sleep on a regular basis. I don’t know if you have the time, but it would only be a matter of wearing a special monitor on your arm for a few weeks.”
“Why would you be interested in my sleep patterns?” Jensen asked, genuinely curious.
“We need sleep to heal and to help us deal with our unconscious problems and I’m curious about your circumstances. I’ve got this hypothesis that your sleep patterns are condensed in a way that allows you to take everything you need in a short period. It’s just an idea though, knowing what I do about the little work you’ve allowed published on yourself.”
Jensen was surprised that Hodge knew about that. Jensen had been asked to participate in a lot of studies but he’d only done a few and they had been years ago. There weren’t many technopaths and none that had Jensen’s innate mental abilities so he’d had scientists contacting him left and right when he was younger. His parents had allowed some studies, thinking it would give Jensen a deeper understanding of his differences. Little did they realize that the last thing Jensen wanted to know was how different he really was.
His initial reaction was to say no. He hadn’t allowed anyone to poke and prod him for a good fifteen years, but he knew Hodge’s reputation and he knew from Misha and Alona that he was an honest and caring person. He wasn’t Gifted but he embraced the typical and Gifted without reservation and his work was always about enlightening differences and helping people to overcome obstacles, not about making one better than the other as some typical researchers tended to be.
“Yeah, ok,” he found himself saying before he realized it.
Hodge looked surprised too. “Really?”
“Sure. I can handle an arm band for a couple weeks. Anything else?”
“I’d like to have you come in each morning for some daily readings but I could do without it.”
Jensen knew then that this was a personal experiment for Hodge’s own curiosity but Jensen didn’t have a problem with that. “Sure. When do you want me to come by?”
“Now?” Jensen’s face must have revealed his startled reaction because Hodge smiled as he looked down at his feet. “Sorry, you probably need to get some sleep or get back to work or something.”
“Nah, I’m good. We can go now.”
“Yeah? Alright, I’m just down this way,” Dr. Hodge said as he pointed down the path towards the science community’s quieter halls.
Jensen didn’t know what to think about it, or his agreement, but if he was helping a fellow scientist in a way that didn’t inconvenience him, what was the harm?
And it wouldn’t hurt to let Jared know he was doing something, besides working and moping, when he got back.
Two weeks later and Jensen was a slightly more relaxed man. He took his jacket off and set it aside as he stretched before pushing his mind back into the computer banks. The hum and energy of the computers gave him a feeling of control that Jensen lacked everywhere else in his life and he allowed that to calm him.
“Jensen, what is that?”
He focused his eyes on Alona who was staring at his arm. He looked down and realized he’d forgotten about the arm band he’d had on for the last two weeks.
“It’s for Aldis.”
“What?”
“He’s doing a study-”
“You called him Aldis.”
“That’s his name, Alona.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d know that.” There was a teasing lilt in her voice but her eyes were wary. “So what’s he doing?”
“He just wants to understand my sleep patterns. He had some theories on why I don’t sleep like most people.”
“And that’s why you’re smiling this morning?”
“I was?”
“Yeah. When I came in you were lit up like a Christmas tree. Well, you would be if you were a normal person but you had a little grin on your face and that’s about the same thing for you.”
Jensen scowled but Alona was smiling at him, worry momentarily covered up by hope. Jensen had the same feeling if he was honest with himself.
He shrugged, but he pulled her into her office. Jensen didn’t like his; he liked to work on the floor where he could reach out and touch the computers. He preferred Alona in her office though where he always knew how to find her. Before Jared, Alona had been his one real friend and she had been the only thing between him and chewing out half the science community.
When they got to her office, he got a mug of coffee - her pot was always filled with his favorite. Jensen hadn’t known that until Jared pointed it out - and sat down in the chair across from her desk. She settled in quickly too, obviously anxious to hear what he had to say.
“I got another message from Jared last night.”
“You did?”
He nodded before taking a sip of coffee. She knew they’d had a few rocky messages while Jared was gone but the last message Jensen had sent he’d finally told Jared that he was afraid Jared’s dogs would escape the backyard without Jared there to keep them in line. Jared seemed to get what Jensen was saying; he missed Jared and didn’t know if he could keep his life in order without him there anymore.
“Yeah. He told me to buy more dog toys and get some treats and I should maybe spend some time teaching the dogs tricks.”
Alona smiled but she was shaking her head. “That’s the strangest apology I’ve ever heard Jensen and I’m still amazed it worked.”
Jensen shrugged but he was still smiling like an idiot. “Yeah. He named the dogs.”
“Jared named the dogs in your head?”
Jensen nodded. “He’s coming home.”
“Of course he is,” Alona said, her smile suddenly softening.
“He has to come back if he finally named the dogs.”
The mess hall was full tonight and Jared was smiling as he looked around the room. They were all together, celebrating Kelly’s engagement. Apparently Kelly’s girl was a bit of a space geek even if she was planet bound so he’d sent her a message at the last relay station. Her favorite fictional character had been to that spot and she’s asked him once if he’d ever been that far before. This time when they hit the relay, he’d asked her to marry him. Her response had come in that morning and Kelly was grinning like an idiot. The crew seemed to think highly of her too. They’d all met over the years or sent messages back and forth and Jared could feel the honest happiness and well wishes from the others.
Mitch had called a night of celebration so they were all in the mess hall, sharing some contraband sweets that Lehne had somehow managed to stow away.
“How did you get that on the ship anyway?” Jared asked.
Fred was a great guy, always smiling and laughing, though in the beginning he’d creeped Jared out a little. “I can’t tell you that, Jared. See, that’s the deal I got with the Captain.”
Jared looked over at Mitch and the older man smiled widely. “Nothing dangerous gets on this ship, but if they can sneak a little contraband food or music or something harmless I’m more than happy to overlook it. But if I find it in my walk through they have to leave it behind.”
Jared noted the way the men seemed to take pride in duping their captain, but he also knew that the captain had a remarkable understanding of who had what on board. Jared suspected either Mitch knew about each stash and ignored it if it was well enough hidden, or that his first officer, Pellegrino, reported it all. He wasn’t sure but Mark had the devil’s luck in learning people’s secrets and Jared was no less affected by his grin that anyone else.
“Noted for next time I ship out with you,” Jared said with a grin.
On the big screen behind the table in the mess room was a large monitor and there were pictures of Brock and his girl flashing on the screen. Jared sat down and watched as he kept an eye on the rest of the room from the corner of his eye. The crew was having a good time, music playing nice and loud while they argued about everything from sports to research or who had the best pick-up lines.
The crew was young but they’d been together for a few years and Jared had been waiting for them to try to involve him. He wasn’t disappointed when the guys were suddenly sitting all around him.
“Alright Jared, fess up. What line did it for you? How did Ackles manage to snag you?” Cohan asked with her silky smooth accent. Her smile was the same, like sugar coated sin but Jared just laughed.
“Jensen isn’t one to use pick-up lines.”
“Come on! He didn’t say ‘I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves’?”
Jared started laughing with the others because a slew of pick-up lines followed and they were getting progressively worse. He had to put a stop to them when Able and Cortese - in tandem - yelled out over the others that Jared must be an alien because his ass was from outer space.
“Stop! I can’t take it!” he laughed as Cohan threw a hand over Able’s mouth from adding more to the game. “Jensen didn’t use pick-up lines, he just showed up in my bedroom.”
“Now that is ballsy,” Pellegrino said from across the table.
The captain was rolling his eyes but the rest of the crew was staring at Jared, waiting for more. It was all in fun and Jared knew he was the only one on the ship with the exception of Mitch who was in a relationship. “Not like that. He just … Jensen is a porter. He didn’t mean to do it and he just ported into my bedroom. He hasn’t really gone away since.”
Cortese smiled at him and he knew he was grinning as stupidly as Kelly was earlier but he couldn’t help it. He knew he was reading Jensen’s last communication right. He knew that in Jensen’s messed up way, he’d admitted to how much he missed Jared and that he needed him. And Jared had replied in a like manner, sure that Jensen would understand that he still loved him and that he’d be home as soon as he could. They were finally on the right track again and even if he couldn’t see Jensen, it made him feel better to know they were still good.
“You two settled things then?” Cortese said next to him.
“What?” He looked around the table and saw the nods and knowing glances and wondered how transparent he had been.
“You just… we didn’t know you weren’t happy until you suddenly were. We knew the message was from Ackles and it didn’t take much to figure out.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Jared said with a slight smile.
“We’re not the smartest man in the universe,” Able said with a wink, “but we do have our moments.”
“This apparently isn’t one of them,” the captain said, saving him from any more attention.
“Come on, Cap. You know you love us.”
“You can’t prove it,” Mitch said with a grin. “I only hired you because no one else would work with Lehne.”
On to Part IV