The Fallen (Part Three)
Dalen woke early and took a few minutes to just breathe deeply, remembering where he was. When he looked across the hallway and found that Coltran’s room was empty already he stumbled out of bed, eager to find him. He moved down the hall to the main room where he found the older man sitting at the table with the door before him open. Sitting on the ridge the way the house was, they had a view of the valley below them. While Dalen was able to walk through the village the night before he had only seen part of the land that Coltran and his people called home. The view from where Coltran sat was breathtaking.
The valley was wide, dotted with farms and fenced off grazing fields for pasture animals, as people moved along the dirt road or in the fields. It was far more peaceful that the world he had come from.
“Come have something to eat, Dalen,” Coltran said without looking away from the scenery.
Dalen didn’t realize he’d been seen but he walked across the wooden floor, trying to move silently to retain the quiet for his bond mate. He knelt on the floor the way he’d learned while watching Elder Barev, knees tucked under him, his weight resting back on his heels.
Coltran looked at him then, smiling. “I have seen people in your Seeing Room who could not sit like that for more than a second without fidgeting.”
Coltran pulled a bowl of rice off the tray beside him and placed it in front of Dalen, then another filled with some sort of soup. A plate of dark green vegetable was there also with eggs. Even the eggs seemed to be prepared differently though. “I don’t know what you eat on the other side of the Veil, but we can try different things until you find something you can stomach. I’ve been told by the elders that most of your people do not like our food.”
Dalen took the sticks that were placed beside him and smiled. “I liked it,” he said as he looked down at everything. It looked strange, but he didn’t think of it as bad, just another part of the adventure that he’d started in the Binding House the day he met Coltran. “The elder was surprised when we came to bring my brother. He even had special dishes brought out to share with me since I liked it so much.”
Coltran smiled. “Then I won’t worry about it. You will tell me if there is something you like in particular though, or don’t like.” He set a mug in front of Dalen and carefully poured the tea. His movements were economic and Dalen tried to calm his own body’s usual restless motions to mimic him.
He put the sticks down and reached for the tea. He held it under his nose, remembering the steamy scent from so long ago. The elders used it in the Binding House to introduce people to the world of the veil-men but as much as Dalen had enjoyed it they hadn’t been willing to share it afterwards. He wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t have it to share or if it was just another way they were trying to separate him from the Veil and his bond.
He lifted it slightly and bowed his head to Coltran whose eyes widened as he watched. “Thank you, for your care.”
He sipped the tea then, closing his eyes to savor the first taste of the spicy liquid. It warmed him to the bone and he relaxed, not letting himself worry about what was going to happen next. He’d spent the last year and a half constantly trying to figure out how to be what Coltran needed him to be, how to impress his bond mate, and how to survive the bond without letting his family know the illness had already begun. Now, he had none of that. Coltran was there to tell him what he needed to do and the illness was done with.
“I think we’ll stay in the village a while,” Coltran finally said, bringing him out of his thoughts. The older man wasn’t looking at him but his lips curved up when Dalen reached again for the sticks and began poking around at his food. He could use the sticks just fine, but he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to eat the dishing he’d been given. Coltran seemed to understand because without a word he grabbed his own sticks and began eating, dipping the vegetables in a bowl of brown sauce before dragging it through the rice and taking a bite.
Dalen did the same and was surprised by the salty burst of flavor in his mouth. The rest of the meal was finished in relative silence, with Coltran’s amused smile and the sounds of Dalen’s enthusiastic eating breaking the quiet.
When they finished Coltran placed the dishes on the tray and left it there. When Dalen looked back at it Coltran walked him back to his room. “My aunt takes care of those things for us. She will be here later to take lunch with us and you will get to meet her then. She lost her own children to the horde years ago and has taken to me as her own since then. Now, get cleaned up and we will take a walk.”
Dalen did as he was told, changing out of his dirty clothes. He left them folded in the corner, unsure of what to do with them. He pulled his trousers on then, along with an undershirt and white button up shirt. He decided against the vest he normally wore at home and rolled his sleeves up, feeling that he didn’t need to dress more formally as they walked about.
As he walked into the hallway one of the other doors was left open and Dalen saw it was a bathing room. The tub was empty, but the basin held water. He went in and washed his face clean, scrubbing his teeth as best he could. There was a coarse brush and he brushed his hair out, thinking he looked as well as he could without a bath.
When he stepped down into the main room Coltran was standing in the doorframe looking down into the fields. He was dressed in loose brown pants and a matching tunic. Dalen came up beside him and just looked out, taking a deep breath. He gasped slightly as he realized what he was seeing.
“What do you see Dalen?”
“It’s the same.” He couldn’t believe it was, but he knew this valley. The dirt road was in the same place, but on his side of the Veil there was an Inn on the left. The rise of the road to the right bordered the outer farmlands and they held pasture animals on both sides of the Veil. Where he stood now was the library he had spent so much time in. “But, we were at the Binding House last night.”
“You slept through the entire carriage ride home. You needed the rest,” Coltran said and Dalen could feel the same affection in the bond that he heard in his voice. “It is perhaps best that you were well rested before you saw this anyway. The elders say that we live on the same world, but that we live in different spaces. That is why the horde is able to break through to your world. It is why we can walk together and how the bond can allow us to see both.”
Dalen nodded. He wasn’t entirely sure he understood but there were too many puzzles to figure out just yet. He let it go, knowing in time he’d deal with everything he was hearing. He felt a little bitter that the elders hadn’t prepared him for this though and that was something he couldn’t let go, but the anger it caused wasn’t directed at Coltran. Dalen would figure it out in the end because he had no choice. He was one of the Fallen, the first that would be able to return to his own world if Coltran was right.
“Let’s get started then,” Coltran said, stepping out of the house and onto the porch that seemed to wrap around the entire building. Dalen followed him out and Coltran gently slid the door closed behind him. As they walked through the high grass, Dalen matched Coltran’s slower gait.
“Once we are settled enough, we will have to see to your training, but I don’t want to start you before you have adjusted to being here. My people are curious about you but to be honest they fear what it could mean to have one of the Fallen in their village.”
“What do you mean?” They walked to the road and while the passing people nodded respectfully to Coltran, Dalen could see the way they looked warily at them. He was used to it, but he had briefly hoped it would be different on the other side of the Veil.
“The original Fallen did not adjust well to our world. They were old men looking to forge an alliance, with wives and children waiting for them on the other side. They did not want to be here and did not try to fit in. Even with the men they bonded they were difficult.”
“I won’t make things hard on you Coltran,” he said fervently.
Coltran laughed but it made Dalen frown a little more. “I believe you Dalen. We have been bound for some time and even if I only felt you a few times over the last year and a half I know the bond means the same to you as it does to me. The elders have watched me as closely as your elders watched you, for fear that I would do something stupid to gain your attention across the Veil. Our bond has been different from the others from the beginning. They have been trying to figure out how to help me deal with your inevitable death all along but I told them it would never happen, that you would find your way through it. They believed my faith in you was unfounded.”
“I just wanted to be with you again. No one understood. I know they thought I was dying, but I didn’t care. Even if seeing you always made me sick, it was always worth it.”
Coltran nodded. “I felt the same. I knew the bond was strong enough to see us both through. Now, we just have to find a way to live with one another. No other bond mates have tried. The Shadow-Called rarely form friendships with their bondmates and the other Fallen distances themselves as much as they could. The elders are very worried that we are so different.”
Dalen nodded. “Will they let me learn from them? The elders? Do you have books I could read about your people? Maybe if I could learn more I wouldn’t make so many mistakes.” Dalen loved to read. In fact his parents often scolded him for burning candles late into the night to read in his room while they slept. There was nothing on the veil-men at the libraries though so he was still as ignorant about them as he was the day he’d been bonded.
“No, we have no books.” Coltran said as they continued to walk. They moved off the road to an area filled with wildflowers and rock walking paths. The rocks were smooth from years of use and the path lead to a small bridge over a full brook. Coltran stopped there. “The Karrem have an oral history but we do not put our words in books. Once upon a time we did, but the horde became too strong and they burned our buildings. We lost our history and we have not made the same mistake again.”
Dalen couldn’t imagine what it could have been like, to have the horde destroying their world like that. He knew the stories of the West, of how his own people were being murdered and how the horde were spreading, taking what they could from each area and moving on until they’d depleted the resources there. It was only the Shadow-Called that kept the horde back and recovered what territory they could from the murdering horde.
“The Karrem? That’s what you call yourselves?”
Coltran looked up in surprise and then smiled. “Yes. I don’t suppose they told you any of it. We were once not so different from you, with cities and books and tall houses. When everything burned, we had to change to survive. We learned to fight the horde and we are different now. They were so many more then and we were almost destroyed. We learned to fight them though and we survived. Then they found a path to your world. When your elders came to us, we agreed to help you fight because we knew that so long as the horde could walk in both worlds we could never be free of them.”
He fell into silence then and Dalen didn’t ask any questions. Instead he let the information sink it, focusing on the sounds of the brook beneath him and the way the wind rushed through the flowers and tall grasses. When Coltran began walking again he took Dalen to a stone marker where a wide circle of stone had been made. It was large enough to accommodate a number of people, with its large open space and wooden benches set along the outer edge of the circle.
Coltran motioned him onto the bench as he moved forward. He pressed his lips to the top of the stone, his lips moving in a soft whisper that only the marker could hear. He moved back then, kneeling on the stone floor, bowing until his head was on the ground.
Dalen watched quietly, feeling like he was intruding on something very private. He sat still though and after a few minutes he focused on his bond with Coltran. Whenever the bond had reared up between them across the Veil he’d always been able to feel some of what Coltran was feeling. The calm and acceptance he felt since waking, he realized a big part of that was due to Coltran’s own relaxed feelings about it all. At that moment, he could feel the gratitude and fondness that Coltran felt. He felt his own surge of affection towards the older man and though he knew he was intruding he couldn’t sit where he was any longer. He moved quietly to Coltran’s side and sat beside him, resting on his heels, just being with Coltran to express his own thankfulness.
After a few minutes Coltran sat up, one hand pressing lightly to Dalen’s thigh before he stood up and led them out of the circle and back through another path. It took them the long way through the garden instead of cutting across it but Dalen could see why Coltran liked it there. It was quiet and peaceful and yet it felt like it had been there for eons, like the ravages of time and men couldn’t destroy what was there.
“Do you come here every morning?” Dalen asked as they came to the end of the garden.
Coltran shrugged. “Most. Some days more than once,” he said with a grin. “It is a place for reflection and since meeting you I have often needed reflection.”
Dalen looked down, uncertain of Coltran’s meaning even though he could feel the warmth of his emotions. Coltran was his protector, his caregiver, his bond mate and he would do everything and anything possible to keep him healthy and happy. He knew that. He just had no idea of how to be that to him as well. He looked back up to the ridge where their house stood out against the landscape of fields and hills, trying to get his thoughts together.
“We can head back to the house now and lunch should be ready soon. After that we’ll go into the village and you can stop to see all the things that you wanted to see.”
“Your aunt will be there soon then?” He hoped that Coltran couldn’t feel the nervousness he felt at the idea of meeting someone in Coltran’s family.
“She probably went to clean up after us as soon as we left.” There was a grin on Coltran’s face as he said it. “I am very fond of her. When my parents died she took it upon herself to care for me. We are all that is left of our family,” he said as he turned his eyes to Dalen, bowing his head slightly, “until you. She is eager to meet you. She is the only one that knew how often the Veil called to me and she steadied me.”
Dalen nodded. “I would like to thank her then.”
Dalen flushed as soon as the words were out of his mouth. It was saying things like that which ended with people staring at him strangely, but Coltran just nodded as they began walking back across the hillside. He realized then that though he knew next to nothing about the Karrem, he had spent most of the past eighteen months revisiting every time he saw Coltran and how he’d begun to immolate his bond mate.
As they walked, Dalen concentrated on that bit of insight as he ignored the looks people gave him. He could feel the agitation and annoyance in Coltran though. “I’m used to it Coltran,” He said softly. “At home everyone was watching me like I might do something odd. Which I did, often. Sometimes I would repeat a phrase you said, or I’d do something I’d seen you do or the elders do. Most of the time I wasn’t aware of it until after the fact. There were times when I knew what I was doing was different and I felt the need to remind them that I was too.”
“It will get better Dalen.” Coltran said. “You have to remember that my village has never had a Fallen and know only the stories. We are already adapting far better than the other Fallen. I know how much you want to be here so I’m not worried about how we will be seen in the future. For now though, we’ll just stay close and we’ll handle anything that may come up.”
“You think someone might hurt me?”
“No, but you don’t know our culture yet and we do not all speak your language.”
Dalen just nodded and they walked back to the house. When they got there, both doors had been opened and he could smell the food. His stomach growled at that and Coltran laughed. “It seems our walk has given you an appetite.”
Dalen nodded. “I used to get sick whenever I saw you. After seeing you twice already that day, I didn’t have much in my stomach when I passed out and then you said I was unconscious for a few days. I think I need to make up for it.” He could feel Coltran’s concern but he smiled. “Least I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“Dalen,” Coltran reached out and placed his hand on Dalen’s shoulder. “We are still worried about you, the elders and your family and myself. They fear the Veil will still call to you.”
“But you’re here.”
“I know, but they’re afraid you’ll get sick if you are too near to a thin spot in the Veil. We’ll go past the Binding House later, but in the future you will have to avoid going too close. We managed to make you healthy by bringing you here and I know eventually you will be able to cross back over but for the time being, you need to do as I ask.”
Dalen nodded. “Of course.”
He thought about the illness and what it had done to him over the past year and a half and decided even if he didn’t get sick from the Binding Houses he’d stay away from them. He didn’t want to risk the Veil calling to him again. He was where he wanted to be and the only thing the Veil offered him was eventual separation from Coltran.
“Dalen, this is Chantree.”
The woman that came out of the house was older, not his mother’s age but he figured she had to be in her thirties. She had the same brown hair as Coltran, but hers was clasped at the nape of her neck with a leather band. Her brown eyes regarded him curiously and Dalen bowed his head to her, hoping that the way he’d seen the elders do it was proper for a first meeting.
“Oh Coltran, he is already a gem.”
Dalen looked up and Coltran was smiling widely. “He is, though I am sure we will see the rough side soon enough, once he no longer thinks he has to please me to stay.”
“He was well met in your bond then,” she teased lightly. Coltran’s smile widened and before Dalen could say anything Chantree was pulling him into the house and pushing him towards the bath room. “Go clean up from your walk.”
He went down the hallway and cleaned up quickly. When he came out Chantree pulled him back to the table as Coltran took his turn to get cleaned. “My nephew said you could choose what style of dress to wear in time, but I gathered a few of our outfits for you, in case you wanted to try it. If you choose not to, I will do my best to make your clothes in the style you wore before.”
“Please, I don’t want you to go to any trouble for me.”
Her eyes shined as she looked at him. “The trouble would come if you did not have any clothes to wear. I do not know what they think of beauty on your side of the Veil, but here you would cause any woman’s heart to stutter.”
He blushed as he looked away from her and then Coltran was there, laughing. “Aunt, you will do him no good filling his head like that.”
“You think he is not beautiful?”
“He is,” Coltran agreed, “but I don’t think he needs reminded of it.” Coltran took a seat at the table across from him and Chantree reached for a tray, bringing over plates of food for them. Their mugs were filled with water and he sighed, slightly disappointed that it wasn’t the tea he’d had earlier.
“He enjoyed the tea very much this morning Aunt.” Coltran informed her, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
Dalen looked up at Coltran and watched the way his bond mate interacted with his aunt. It was obvious they were close and Dalen was slightly jealous. He loved his mother but he wasn’t close to her in a way that would allow teasing. His sister was too young to be able to share most of what had happened to him. And he knew, even as he knew it was unconscious at the time, that he had pulled away from his family since he’d had the bond.
“I’ll be sure to have more ready for dinner then,” she had the plates arranged for them by then and she had her sticks in hand. “Be sure to let me know of any other likes and dislikes,” she told Coltran softly as she began to eat her meal. “I will have the bath water prepared for him tonight as well.”
“Thank you, Aunt,” Coltran said as he ate his own lunch.
Dalen pushed around the food on his plate and tried to be interested. It wasn’t that the food didn’t look good or that the smell wasn’t enticing. He’d meant it when he’d said he was hungry earlier, but suddenly he realized that no matter what he did he would never be able to have what he once had.
Even if he’d have bonded at a normal age, he’d have been sent to a training camp and taught how to handle the bond and to use it to fight the horde. Once he was done, he and his bond mate would have been sent to the West to defend the people there. In ten years, if they’d survived, he’d have been allowed to go back to the Binding House to surrender his bond. From what was said, few lived long enough to surrender the bond and of those that did less than half actually did, but the truth was that as soon as a bond was formed, the life that you lived was no longer your own.
He got it. Finally, he understood why his mother had been so sad the day his brother went to the Binding House and he understood why his brother had hated it so much. And he understood why his brother had become so guilty ever since, how he feared his own words had taunted Dalen into entering the Seeing Room and causing the bond to form.
“Dalen?”
Coltran’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he could see the concern in his eyes. He shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said softly.
“Do you need to rest?”
He looked down at his food and realized he wasn’t going to be able to eat, no matter how much he wanted to. He felt guilty about the effort Chantree put into the food but he knew he wouldn’t keep it down even if he did eat it.
“Yes, I do.” He got up without saying anything else and walked quietly down the hallway. He left the door open as he slid into bed and could hear the others talking as he tried to still his head.
“He is young Coltran. What will you do with him?”
“Train him, Aunt.”
“That won’t do.”
“We are Fallen. What would you have me say?”
“Do you fear him already?”
He heard feet scuffling across the floor and he closed his eyes, pretending to sleep as they came close. He could hear Coltran at his door.
“I am not so afraid of the stories of the Fallen that I would fear my own bond mate. We are not like the others, hiding away and hating one another for the bond they had no choice in.” Coltran let out a deep sigh and Dalen wanted to go comfort him but he knew he couldn’t. “What I fear is losing him. I will train him for this life, for the fight we will have to face eventually, but no matter what I do I will lose him to the other side of the Veil.”
“You are destined to fight on both sides of the Veil, nephew.”
He heard Coltran’s short bark of a laugh, bitter and hollow as an ache filtered through the bond. He wondered if Coltran could feel his own as strongly.
“I’ve had enough of destiny. If I could take him and run from this I would, but the elders believe he will get sick again, when it is time for him to return to his world. He is unlike anything they have ever seen.”
“He will need your strength, and you have shown us all just how strong you are, Coltran.”
Amusement and affection trickled out to him. “He is my strength, Chantree. We are in this together, he and I. We will do each other proud.”
He heard the door close and Chantree and Coltran walked back to the table. He didn’t hear anything else and instead of worrying about what was to come, he closed his eyes and fell into a troubled sleep.
**
The village wasn’t much different than he remembered it from their departure the first night. The elders were sitting outside of the Binding House and they eyed them both before Coltran waved, giving a wide smile that Dalen could feel he didn’t mean.
“Can you feel me too?” he asked then, wondering what sort of emotions he gave off to the veil-man.
“Sometimes,” he said after a minute of thought. “I’m not always sure what it is I’m feeling from you though. You get sad about things I don’t understand or angry when no one has angered you. I think it will take a while for that to be useful.”
Dalen gave him a small smile at that, then looked back at the elders. “Why do they think I’ll get sick again?”
Coltran shook his head as he continued walking past the Binding House towards the area of the village he hadn’t seen the night before. “We both know the bond was formed the night we met, that it was complete. They don’t agree. I think…” he sighed. “I think if we would have been allowed to explore the bond then that we would not have become the Fallen. I believe that when they took you away from me they made this happen, that the bond wrapped even tighter around us when they tried to keep us apart. We are meant to fight the horde though and they fear that you will be forced back to the other side of the Veil to do so. We can never know the truth, but just maybe if we had been left alone, we would have been bonded as the others are, able to surrender it when our duty to our people was done.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I never wanted this for you. You deserve a full life Dalen, with something besides the bond and a battle ahead.”
Dalen looked at him and stopped walking. He grabbed Coltran’s hands, pulling him back, knowing that the physical contact would make his words all the more important. “I did. I want this. I don’t want to give you up, not ever. I’m glad they took me away if it means I get to have you forever now.”
He could feel the conflict in Coltran but there was acceptance there as well. “Good, because you are stuck with me now Dalen. Now and forever.”