Wicked Lies
Title: Wicked Lies
Author: hunters_retreat
Author: freetodream5
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sam's pulling away and Dean knows why. He just doesn't know what to do about it.
Author's Note: for the
. Amazing art by freetodream5 and as soon as I had more than one story in my head for this one! Also, a thank you to my artist and the Mods for my late posting (by about an hour) I lost internet access and had to wait until my family (in from out of state) were asleep before sneaking out to find access :P
“What the hell was I thinking?” Dean’s voice echoed in his head, making him burrow further into the pillow. It didn’t help, but a few deep breaths and moment of stillness did. A moan from the other bed made him smile and he risked the pain of his throbbing head to sneak a peek at his little brother.
“Why did we think that was a good idea last night?” He could barely hear Sam’s voice.
Dean watched him stumble to his feet, eyes squinting tight to keep out most of the light. He could see the pain in his movements and Dean sat up on his bed. “We need some coffee.”
“Aren’t you glad you keep me around then?”
Dean groaned at the pleasant sound of her voice and glared when he got the nerve to look across the room to the table. Sam was already stumbling towards her and her long fingers tickled over Sam’s as she handed off a steaming cup of coffee. A white bag followed it, edges looking transparent from whatever grease filled contraption filled it.
She held a bag out towards Dean and raised her eyebrows at him. “You know you wanna…” she teased.
He took a moment to look at her, long blond hair falling in waves around her shoulders. Her eyes were a murkier shade of green than his, more gray. She had model features, high cheekbones and delicate eyelashes, a strong chin and full pink lips. She looked like she’d been up for hours, her hair carefully curled and let wild, her eyes showing just a smudge of liner and the trace of pale eye shadow. It was a lie. She’s probably just swung out of bed, still wearing last night’s make up, thrown on her clothes and ran for a food grab, but she looked like a million dollars. Not for the first time, he thought she deserved a lot more than this.
“What the hell are you so happy about this morning, Dane?”
Dane smiled as she handed Dean his coffee. “You should really know better than play drinking games with me by now.”
Sam groaned at the reminder and Dean sat next to his little brother, taking a small sip of coffee to see how it settled. “Why do we take her to the bars again?” he asked.
Sam looked up at Dean, shaking his head but there was a small smile on his lips. “Don’t ask me, she’s your sister.”
“She’s your sister when she’s smirking like that,” Dean threw back.
Dane laughed as she tore into her own breakfast sandwich. “Eat up boys. In case you forgot, we have a case to solve.”
**
He got that things have been building like this for a while. He wasn’t blind and he wasn’t stupid. He just doesn’t know how to deal with it, how to make it better, so he’s just ignored it, hoping it would work out on its own. The hunt was finished but it wasn’t their most stellar work. Dean was mauled all to hell by a spirit and it’d taken Sam a freaking hour to get him cleaned up and stitched. Dane sat behind him, her legs spread wide around his, using her body as a brace when he needed to let go. She passed the tequila to him between stitching, pain medication a la John Winchester.
When Sam was done he looked up at Dean and pressing his hand over the mark over Dean’s heart, an old would that had nearly taken his life a few years back. Somehow, it always seemed more offensive to his siblings than the wounds that were fresh. Dane pressed her hand over Sam’s and then handed over the tequila bottle. Sam took more than a fair gulp before passing it back to Dane. Something seemed to pass between them then and for once Dean was on the outside of the sibling exchange. It felt unnatural. He was always at the center of it, always the heart of the interaction between his brother and sister. He didn’t know what this was.
For as long as he could remember it had been the three of them, playing together, learning together, and irritating the crap out of their father together. He and Dane had their own special connection, something that came from the twin bond they shared. He used to tease that he could read her thoughts, but as Sam grew, he learned to read Sam even better. Sam was just as much his as Dane was though, given to him by their father on the night their mother died. Since that day, there hadn’t been a moment Dean wasn’t wrapped up in keeping Sam safe and happy.
It wasn’t easy. Dane felt she had a right to monopolize Dean and Sam felt threatened by his closeness to his twin. They’d play games at each other’s expense, taunt and torment one another, but it had all been to get Dean’s affection, his attention, and Dean had more than enough to spare. As they got older it became easier to be together, the three of them, but the words that had been easy to sooth as children became harsher as adults and neither Sam nor Dane ever forgot. There was tension between the two of them, but they managed to get along because of Dean.
That didn’t mean their father made it easy. He was easier on Dane when it came to training and she took to it like a fish in water, never stopping to look back, always pushing to learn something new, whereas Sam hated the training, hated what their lives had become and John pushed him harder because of it. It never got easier between the two of them and by the time Sam ran off to Stanford, Dean was ready to head off after him. If he hadn’t been worried about looking out for his father he probably would have. He was torn by his need to protect Sam and the desire to take care of his Dad. Not even Dane would take care of Dad if Dean left and he knew it.
Everything was different when Dean went back to get Sam’s help. Sam was grieving the death of his girlfriend and Dane was hurt and angry. Sam was just starting to open up to Dean again, but every time Dane walked in the door he could his brother’s walls building up again. Dane was no better, constantly throwing out comments about when Sam would leave next and bodily pulling Dean closer to her as if to emphasize that she was his twin, that she had to be his closest sibling.
He knew without a doubt that they loved him, but it didn’t make it any easier. It didn’t make it any less confusing as they passed a bottle back and forth between them, each with a hand on his old wound. Dean let himself fall back slightly against Dane, closing his eyes as his sister held him upright.
“Dean?”
“I’m okay Sammy,” Dean said, reaching a hand out to grip his brother’s arm. “Just gonna pass out soon.”
“Don’t worry, Dean I’ll be here to take care of you until you wake up.”
He heard the snicker behind him and his last thought before he blacked out was thank god he was out before the bickering began again.
**
“He needs a doctor!”
“No, I can take care of him.”
“Yeah, I bet.” There was a sneer in her voice. “Maybe he doesn’t need you.”
“Back off Dane,” Sam’s voice was bordering on violence and Dean wanted to stop the two of them but he didn’t have the energy, his mind was still too clouded with alcohol. His body hurt and as much as Sam was right, he didn’t need a doctor thank you very much, he couldn’t fault Dane for being worried about him.
“Maybe,” her voice was dropping low and Dean opened his eyes to see her standing at the foot of his bed, Sam’s eyes wide as she changed her passion from angry to seduction without warning. “maybe you shouldn’t be taking care of him Sammy.”
“It’s Sam.”
“And yet Dean still gets to call you Sammy. What did Jessica call you?” Sam’s jaw tightened and he glared at her. “I think she called you Sam, just like you want me to. Don’t you think it’s a little messed up Sam?” She pressed up against Sam’s body, her hands draping over his wide shoulders. “Long blond hair, light colored eyes, full lips. Sound like anyone you know Sam?”
Dean’s mouth dropped open and he’d have said something, anything, if his brain could just process what he was seeing. Dane leaned up, hands pulling at Sam’s neck until her lips were brushing over his. “Don’t you think it’s a little messed up that you were fucking someone who looks just like your sister?”
Sam started to pull away but Dane had a tight hold of him and she pulled him closer. Sam was always so damn aware of how big he was, how much he could hurt her that he went with it. Her lips were almost brushing his ear when her eyes darted towards the bed, making sure Dean was watching the whole show.
“Isn’t it fucked up that we both look so much like Dean?”
Sam jerked away then, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He pushed Dane’s hands away from him and grabbed his coat.
“Are you gonna come back this time Sammy?” Dane taunted as he stopped to open the door. “Or do you need to go find another pretty look alike to live out your little fantasy with?”
The door slammed and Dean sat up, staring at Dane. “What the hell?”
She turned to look at him, face contrite. “Dean, I thought you were asleep.”
“Like hell you did. What are you doing?”
He watched the way her jaw clenched, so much like Sam, and then she was crawling up the bed beside him. “He had to face it Dean. Sooner or later he had to face what he was doing.”
She didn’t stop when she got to his side, but straddled his hips and pushed him onto his back before draping her body over his. “He’s always wanted this Dean,” she confessed into his skin. “He’s always been jealous of us, always wanted to mean more to you than I did. It’s not right.”
“Who makes you the judge of that?” Dean asked. So there was something a little… unhealthy… in the way he and Sam interacted. It wasn’t like they didn’t know it. He’d been Sam’s caregiver though, his brother, his friend, his everything for so long it was no surprise that things bordered on the downright taboo sometimes. Dane, sitting across his lap in her tee shirt and short shorts didn’t really have room to talk.
“He hurt you,” she continued as if he hadn’t interrupted. “And who had to pick up the pieces when Sam was gone? Who held you when you were missing him? Who took care of you when you were falling apart? It was all me.” She looked up at him and tears filled her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, trying to give her whatever comfort she needed from him. He didn’t know anymore. The war between Sam and Dane had just taken too much of a toll on him and he could no longer navigate the pathways that would get him to the other side with two siblings still intact.
“Dane, he’s just scared. He’s grieving.”
“He’s leaving,” she said definitively. “You know he is. He’ll go back to Stanford or find something else and it’ll just be us again.”
“shhhh…” he murmured in her ear. There was so much pain in her words and Dean berated himself because no matter that she and Sam fought, he knew Dane loved Sam. They fought so passionately because they did love, because they mattered to one another. It was easy to forget that she had as much to be afraid of Dean did.
She sobbed softly against him, adjusting her body to spoon up beside him, in for the long haul now and not just towering above him to make sure he listened. He closed his eyes as his hands soothed over her back and arms, letting Dane cry herself out.
**
He was half awake and half asleep, still lingering in the world of the dream he was just in. Fuck he knew how wrong it is, dreaming of his brother’s girl riding him, dreaming of Sam walking in, of Sam claiming them both. Jess was riding his cock and his hands were on her hips, fingers splayed wide under the hem of her shirt that somehow never got removed. Alcohol, maybe fever induced, the dream was so damn real he could still feel it, feel her riding him.
Long hair brushed over his face and he opened his eyes, startled out of his warm cocoon to realize it wasn’t a dream. “Dane?” he tried to get up but she was on top of him, riding him like the dream and her hands pushed at his shoulders keeping him there.
“Need this Dean,” she whispered, shame and guilt in her voice but she hadn’t stopped moving yet, her hips snapping into his and Dean couldn’t stop the moan on his lips. “Not just Sammy,” she whispered into this neck, oh so careful of his wound yet ignoring the way he was trying to get up. “You have to stop protecting me Dean, have to just give in to what we both want.”
And God knew he’d had some fucked up dreams about Sam, and he loved Dane more than life itself, but he’s never wanted this from her, no matter how beautiful she was. He grabbed her by the arms but she batted them away, too weak to put up much of a resistance. He looked up at her and there were tears in her eyes and he doesn’t know what to do.
He was so caught up in her eyes, in the track of tears falling down her face that he didn’t hear the keys, or the door open. Dane threw her head back and screamed out his name, her body tightening around his cock and wringing the orgasm from him. She slumped over his chest, her body shaking with the aftershock of it and Dean was so fucking confused, his body sated and alcohol-fever-sleep heavy.
He didn’t know how to deal with this, with his twin’s need to be this to him, with the way she fought everything he’s ever wanted that doesn’t include her. He doesn’t want to think what would have happened if he’d woken to find Sam in her place, doesn’t want to make the comparison of love and need and want, but he couldn’t help the images of Sam pressing over him, of his little brother moaning his name, and he knew he’d be a far more active participant if it had been him.
“Fuck,” he exhaled, trying to let loose of the pain in his chest, only it seemed to break whatever spell seemed to be on the room and he saw movement by the door. He looked up to see his brother’s eyes, pain and betrayal wrapped so deeply in anger that Dean wasn’t sure he’d every get past it.
“Sammy,” but Sam was already out the door. Dane pulled away from his lap, settling peacefully at his side and when Dean sat up slightly, he could see small smile that graced her lips.
**
They didn’t talk about it. Sam came back later with dinner though he didn’t eat anything himself, just pushed around the avocado in his salad until Dean snapped and speared it with his fork, eating it himself. Sam looked up and gave him a small smile, but there was pain in his eyes, an ache that Dean didn’t know how to fill.
He couldn’t tell Sam what had happened. He couldn’t explain that he hadn’t actually wanted … that he didn’t actually … he wasn’t a victim damn it and Dane wasn’t a villain. No matter what he said, Sam would see it that way though and all he wanted was for things to calm down.
He should have remembered the old adage though. Be careful what you wish for? Things calmed down alright. For the first time in his life, Sam was letting it go. He wasn’t fighting for Dean’s attention, he wasn’t calling Dane on her insults or her slurs. He just seemed to fade into the background. When Dean would suggest going out, Sam would stay behind and if Dean managed to get away from Dane and leave the bar early, Sam was never there. He’d always come sneaking in late and Dane would just cuddle up closer to Dean as if she could keep Dean to herself.
He wanted to ask Sam where he went, but the first time he got a muttered answer, the whisper of a “Ruby” under his brother’s breath, Dean stopped asking. The demon seemed to like Sam, almost as much as she seemed to hate Dean. She was beautiful though, with long blond hair and piercing eyes, and she was offering Sam something none of them could compete with, complete acceptance of his powers.
Dean didn’t ask after that.
He could see the way Sam eyed him sometimes though, see the way he eyed Dane, but Sam never asked either.
**
The stupidest thing about it all was that he had to call his brother because he wasn’t sure when he’d see him again. Sam was always first awake and if he wasn’t the last one in for bed each night, he was already asleep by the time Dean got in. Somehow their little divide had become Dean and Dane hunting together while Sam ran off with Ruby and did … whatever. He hated it.
Dane was currently laying low, her wrist broken in a bout with a nasty spirit that had turned out to be a poltergeist. She was at the local library and Dean was more than happy about it. After what he’d just heard, he wanted Sam there and no one else.
The phone picked up on the second ring and he was thankful that Sam was answering his phone these days.
“Dean?”
“Hey Sammy.”
“You alright? Is Dane alright?”
Even in the middle of whatever this was, his little brother was still worried about them. It was so much like Sam that Dean had to grit his teeth to keep back all the things he should be saying to him.
“Yeah, we’re fine. Look, I need some help. It’s a demon.”
“Just tell me where.”
**
He texted the address to Sam and got a quick message back saying he’d be there in an hour. He didn’t want to know what Sam needed to clean up that it would take him so long to get there, but it itched at the back of his mind, like some kind of god damned rash he couldn’t get to.
He sat outside the building, waiting as patiently as he could, leaning against the front of the impala. He watched the car pull in, watched as Sam got out and Ruby drove away, tires spitting gravel across the parking lot in her haste.
“And I was so looking forward to her witty banter,” Dean said as Sam came up beside him.
“And yet Dane is no where to be seen.”
Dean felt his hands fist tight. “Dane isn’t a bloody demon trying to make you the freak of the week.”
“No, she’s just my big sister who’s using sex to cut you out of my life.”
Dean opened his mouth to rip at Sam for putting Dane down, but he closed it instead. He didn’t know what was going on anymore and the last thing he needed was Sam to be riled up right now. “Look Sam, can we just forget about Dane for a few minutes and work this out?”
Sam took a deep breath and Dean saw the way his shoulder’s visibly dropped. “Yeah, okay. So, you have a demon you need to catch?”
“Just come on in Sammy.”
Sam followed without hesitation and Dean couldn’t help but grin at the way they settled into familiar routines. No matter what else was happening, Sam had his back and he trusted to that. Maybe, if they could both remember it, they’d get out of this alive.
The demon was right where Dean left her, sitting in the middle of a devil’s trap circle, salt lacing the edges around it just for added protection though there’s no way she could get loose with the way she was tied up. There were buckets of holy water sitting to the side and a drain that she was sitting right over so Dean could douse her as much as he wanted. She looked a little disheveled but not as much of a drowned rat as he had when Dean walked out to call his brother.
“So, the infamous Sam Winchester.”
“Dean? I thought you needed help.”
“I need you to hear something.”
“Is this the part where I tell all my sordid secrets?” The demon purred over at them. She licked her lips though, eyes glancing at the holy water and Dean knew if he made a move towards them she’d be all over herself to tell Sam everything.
“Just tell him what you told me.”
The demon looked at Dean and took a shuddered breath before looking back at Sam. “There’s a plan that was set in motion the year you were born.”
“Yeah yeah yeah. Demon blood, chosen one. We got that,” Sam interrupted. “Get to the part I don’t know.”
“Ruby is a part of that plan.”
Dean saw the way Sam’s jaw tightened and he could still read his brother like a book. Sam wasn’t surprised by the announcement, but he was pissed.
“So is your darling Dane.”
Sam straightened then and Dean knew that bit had surprised him. It was that tidbit that had Dean calling Sam in the first place. It was that news he couldn’t listen to himself, couldn’t keep his mind clear on.
“How? How is Dane involved?”
“She’s just another demon-chaser, trying to get a fast ride on the Winchester express.”
Dean took a deep breath, looked at his little brother, and left him to find out how long his twin sister had been working with one of the walking evil.
**
“She’s gone, the girl and the demon.”
Sam’s voice was quiet, his movements were stiff and uncoordinated like his brain couldn’t handle anything extra at the moment.
“You don’t think she was lying.”
Dean still didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to say it, how to admit to Sam that things weren’t what he thought they were with Dane. He didn’t know how to say that the more time he spent alone with her the more he tried to figure out how to get away. He’d allowed Sam to walk out the door that day and he hadn’t stopped him ever since. He wasn’t sure how to reach out to his little brother anymore and he could see Sam struggling there at his side to find a way to cross that gap between them. In years past, the brush of a shoulder or a small smile would have melted whatever tension had come between them but this thing with Dane and Ruby had pushed them both too far away for that.
He finally shook his head. “I don’t have any proof. She’s never hesitated to exorcise a demon and sure never acted like she wanted to let the evil sons of bitches go,” he looked down at his shoes, dust covered and beaten up. He felt that way today too, “but she’s been … different lately.”
“Different how?”
“She’s just… doing things she’s never done before. Things I would never have thought she could do before.”
“Dean?”
“Just, leave it at that.” He looked up at his brother and he could see the way he clenching his jar, saw the determination in his eyes. “Please Sammy, leave it alone.”
Sam looked away and Dean was shocked when Sam just nodded his head. “So, what do we do now?”
He sat there, looking out across the dusty parking lot and tried to get his brain working. He needed to get past this. He needed to continue on like it was just another case. “First, we have a body to salt and burn,” he said, thinking about the poor girl who had died because a demon had possessed her.
He didn’t know what to do about Dane. If the demon hadn’t lied, his twin was walking a dangerous path and she wouldn’t be easy to catch. When a Winchester tried to make something a secret, it damn well stayed that way.
“Ruby,” Sam offered into the silence. “We can tail Ruby. See if she leads us to anything. She’s staying close to her body now so she won’t bail out and use someone else. Maybe if we can see what she’s doing we can figure out the rest.”
Neither of them wanted to talk about Dane, what it would mean and Sam was letting it go. It was too much like the way he’d let go of everything else, but Dean didn’t know how to make Sam fight anymore, didn’t know how to provoke him in ways that wouldn’t have him walking away so he just shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded. “Alright, let’s get going.”
**
As much as it pained Dean, they left the impala back at the motel. Dane was still at the library working on some research. Dean didn’t know what and he was afraid to ask now, afraid he’d be able to hear the lie in her words. They made their way across the block to the grocery store and Dean found a nondescript Honda to break into. Sam got Ruby’s GPS signal from her cell as they stopped at a coffee shop and then they were on the road.
She wasn’t far. Just an hour down the road, Sam and Dean pulled over to a diner and saw her slide into the booth across from someone. The man didn’t stop eating, but his shoulders grew tight as Ruby spoke.
Dean looked over at Sam to see how his brother was taking it and couldn’t help but feel like this was right. If he closed his eyes and just imagined the impala around them, it was downright perfect, just the two of them with no one to fight with and no one to try pulling at them from other sides.
He swallowed hard as he found himself watching his brother. Sam kept his eyes on the diner, but he brushed his hair back lightly from his forehead and licked his bottom lip in a way Dean knew meant he was nervous.
He was beautiful. Jesus, he didn’t want to think it, but he did. Sam was everything he’d ever wanted in life. He didn’t deserve that though, didn’t deserve more than brotherly love and maybe not even that. It was his fault that Dane and Sam fought so much. He was the one who’d given them both so much of himself, the one who’d never given them a reason to stop. He wanted to be close to his sister, wanted to make sure she was safe and happy. It was Sam, however, that his world revolved around. It was Sam he wished he could wake up with, Sam he wished would cross the line and press his lips to Dean’s throat, biting and marking and taking what Dean would have so long ago given.
Sam turned to look at him and Dean let his eyes drop to his coffee cup, cold and mostly undrinkable. He grabbed it and took a sip. “Coffee run?”
Sam nodded. “Lunch.”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, we can grab something over across the street, still see if she leaves or not.”
**
After lunch, in which two other people came to the diner and slid into the same booth after the former occupant was gone, they followed Ruby into another section of town. They pulled down the street and Dean pulled over immediately, watching as a familiar face came out of a house down the block. Ruby pulled over further up.
Dean pulled out his cell and made the call before he realized he was doing it.
“Hiyllo?”
“Bobby where are you?”
“Minnesota. Why? What’s with you two knuckleheads?”
“We were following Ruby and she just pulled up in front of the house you walked out of.”
“Huh?”
“You’ve got a demon tail Bobby.”
“You know what she wants?”
“No. We had another demon this morning and she said that Ruby,” he paused, wondering if he should mention Dane, but Sam’s eyes were just watching, no hint of a nod one way or other to know if he should mention his sister or not. “Ruby was part of some kind of demon plan involving Sam. We decided to follow her and see what she might be up to.”
“Well damn. This is just a routine salt and burn boys. I don’t know why she’d want to be here.”
Dean looked at Sam and saw the same understanding in his eyes. “She’s probably interested in you, not the case.”
“Well ain’t that precious.”
Dean let out a snort. “Just be careful. We’re watching her so if you need help, we’re already here.”
“Thanks Dean. Just let me know when you figure it out.”
“Will do.” Dean hung up and looked at Sam. “Well that was unexpected.”
“Why is Ruby following Bobby?”
Dean sighed. “I have no idea Sammy,” he said, feeling completely lost on this one. He got an idea and looked at Sam, smiling, “but we could always ask her.”
**
“Sam! What the hell? Get me out of here!”
Dean looked at his brother and there was no remorse over what they were about to do. There was no pain hidden in his eyes, just the anger that he’d seen so often directed at him in the last year. Only this time it was directed at the demon sitting pretty in front of them.
“No. Tell us why you were following Bobby Singer.”
Ruby looked at him for a minute before laughing. “This is about Bobby? Really? Dean,” she said, turning her eyes to him. “Of all the things you’d tie me up over, you’d do it over that old hunter? I always figured it would be over who got Sam, but well … I guess little sister has sort of taken care of that for a while, huh Dean-o? “
“Leave Dane out of this,” Sam’s words were a dangerous whisper.
“Dean’s got his little sister Sammy, got her wrapped so tight around his cock that they’ll never separate, so goddamn co-dependent. But you’ve still got me, right? You can slide home in me any time, your very own demon lover at your beck and call.” She said, giving him a filthy smile. “And all you have to do is close your eyes, and I can be exactly who you want me to be.”
“Shut up,” Dean didn’t want to hear anything more from her but he knew she was trying to get them off balance. It looked like it had because Sam had the bucket of holy water in hand before Dean realized he’d moved for it. Water sprayed over her face, steam hissing from her unholy skin. Her screams echoed in the warehouse but there was no one around to hear. She pulled at the ropes and nothing gave.
“Sammy, give me the bucket.”
Sam turned to look at him, pure fury lighting his eyes. Dean was so captivated that he didn’t hear the door behind them open.
He heard a gun shot, saw Sam’s shoulder jerk to the side as he was hit, but even as he was turning, something blunt hit him in the head and he crumbled to the ground, unconscious.
**
He woke slowly, his mind trying to replay the last moments of consciousness before he committed to movement just yet. There was no moment of panicked remembering, but the sure knowledge that he’d been knocked unconscious as his brother had been shot in the shoulder. As much as that thought might send him into a fury, he needed to assess the situation before he could fly off. People could say a lot of things about him and the sometimes stupid things he did, but no one could say that he’d put his brother at risk because he went off the handle.
His body was upright, held tight to a chair by ropes. It wasn’t the best situation but they’d been in worse. Hell, just last week-
“Dean?”
Dean jerked his head up from where he’d left it resting on his chest. The voice was behind him and he felt the pull of movement. “Sam?” His brother tugged at the bonds that had them strapped back to back. “You alright?”
“Peachy,” Sam’s voice was sarcastic and Dean relaxed a little for it. “One shot to the shoulder but it’s not bleeding anymore. I went down right after you did.”
“How many were there?”
“Just one.”
He knew there was something wrong from the tone of voice. “What?”
“Dean, it was-“
“Me.” Dane walked in through a door at the end of the room and he stared at the smirk on her face.
“Dane, what are you doing? Let me out of these ropes.”
“I don’t think so Dean.” She came up to him, legs straddling his as she sat on his lap. She draped her arms over his shoulders and as she smiled, her eyes bled black.
Dean flinched away but he was held tight to his chair. “Oh Dean, you hurt my feelings.”
“Get out of my sister you sick fuck!”
“I’m a sick fuck? Coming from you that’s a real blast, what with the things you’ve been doing with your little sister.”
”What do you want?” Sam’s voice was tight but there was no surprise. He must have seen her black eyes before he’d been shot.
“Oh, the same thing everyone does I suppose, a piece of Winchester ass. See, you boys have been causing a bit of trouble. Ruby wasn’t having a lot of luck getting Sammy in line and Dean-o was the problem. But, nothing, and I mean nothing gets to a Winchester like another Winchester.” She said pressing her lips to Dean’s ear. “And with Dean so occupied with his problems with little sister, he wasn’t really devoting all that time to little Sam. Ruby had her chance to get you though, had the chance to take care of business but then you caught her. I couldn’t just leave her like that. As much as I would have liked to see her squirm, we have a deal.”
“And what is that?”
“To see you turned-”
“Over my dead body,” Sam growled.
“Or to see you rot in hell. Really, it’s all the same anyway, so why not just ante up and make sure you’re on the winning side?” Dane got up and Dean could feel the way Sam’s fingers brushed against his. Dean couldn’t get to his own bonds but Sam was working on them.
“Come on Sammy,” Dane whispered in Sam’s ear. Dean could feel the way Sam moved, could tell that she was sitting on his lap now. He could hear the way she was whispering so that Dean would know where she was. “We can give you anything you want … power, security,” her fingers brushed over Dean’s face and he flinched away, “Dean.”
“Don’t you touch him.”
Dean felt his wrists slide free even as Sam’s voice was reaching the level Dean knew meant physical violence was close at hand. His hands were still tied up and both were still bound to the chair by their feet. He looked around and realized they were still close to the original devil’s trap that they’d set up. He needed to find a way to get her in there. Once he did that, he’d be able to get Sam safe and to get the demon out of his sister.
He didn’t allow his thoughts to linger there, on what his sister was going through, on what she knew had happened between them. He couldn’t let himself get drug under by those memories. After, when they were all safe he’d drink himself into a stupor and deal with the fallout. Right now, it was escape first.
“Touchy touchy Sam. You’ve always been possessive about Dean, but this past few months I have to say it’s been downright psychotic.”
She got up and came back to stand overtop of Dean. “You know, he’s never given Ruby the time of day. He was supposed to slip into her bed as easily as you fell into mine, but his head was too full of you. We did what we could though, let Sam play his game to get you good and jealous. You were too busy dealing with how messed up your sister was though to notice.”
“So you blew plan A. What’s plan B?”
Dean had his own plan developing.
“You. Sam won’t keep those pretty lips sealed with you in danger and when Ruby slits those delicate wrists of hers, he’ll take anything she gives him.”
“No he won’t.”
“Yes, he will. He’ll drink enough demon’s blood that he won’t be able to stop. And then? Well, we have plans for Sammy.”
“You can talk all you want bitch but there is no way I’m letting you take Sam out of here. So long as I’m living, he won’t do a damn thing you asked.”
He could see the fury in her eyes and he it was just what he wanted. She lashed out, knocking his chair back so that Sam could feel the power behind it.
“That’s all you got?” Dean spat out.
The next blow came, followed quickly by another. He could feel Sam’s anger and it was just what he wanted.
Well no one said it was a smart plan.
“You can beat me to death and Sam still won’t do what you want,” he slurred through bloody lips.
“It’ll be a hell of a lot more fun for me.”
“No!” Sam screamed behind him and Dean watched as Dane went flying back, skidding to land just inside the devil’s trap.
“That a boy Sammy,” he mumbled as he pulled his arms free and started getting his legs untied. He got his feet free and turned to get Sam’s hands free. It only took a few minutes before both brothers were free of their ropes and standing side by side, staring at the demon wearing their sister’s body.
Sam spat out the Latin as Dean stood there, fists clenched, waiting to see if their sister survived the exorcism. He couldn’t get his eyes off Dane, watching the way she squirmed in the circle.
“What will you do now Dean?” the demon hissed in fury. “What will you do with your precious little brother? You think Dane doesn’t know what you think of him? What you think of her? You think she doesn’t know which one of them you’d rather see dead?”
“You’re a liar. Dane knows I love her. I’d give my life for her.” There was cold fury running through his veins, but an undercurrent of uncertainty crept through.
“But you both know, you’d never give Sam’s life for hers.”
“Ergo draco maledicte et legio secta diabolica.” Black smoke flew from Dane’s open mouth, the air thick with the demon’s filth. “Ut Ecclésiam tuam secúra tibi fácias servire libertáte, te rogámus, audi nos.” The last line of the exorcism ran loud and final in his ears and Dean was already moving toward the trap where his twin’s body started to crumple to the floor. He couldn’t stop the fall, but he got there in time to stop her head from hitting the hard floor.
He cradled her body, pushing away the fear and uncertainty of the past few months and brushed the hair back from her face. He was afraid to do it, afraid to know the truth so he just held on, fingers brushing over her cheek in a soothing manner.
It was Sam, crouched beside him, that brought shaky fingers to her pulse. He didn’t say anything but Dean could see the way he left his fingers there too long, looking for something that was no longer there. He saw the way his brother’s hand started to withdraw, pausing with his fingers brushing over her neck and up her beautiful face.
He felt his brother’s forehead press to the back of his neck, felt his body moving closer until he was right there, a hard line against his back, one hand on Dean’s arm and the other fisted in his sister’s hair as he let out a silent sob.
He didn’t know how long they stayed there, Dean unable to let her go, unable to comfort his little brother, before the phone rang. He could feel Sam’s hesitance but from the ringtone he knew it was Bobby.
Sam stood, leaving Dean with his grief as he took the call. A moment later he was back and it was only the purr of his voice that pulled Dean away from the crushing grief that filled him. “Ruby.”
Dean looked up and even in his grief he couldn’t help but think his brother, with red rimmed eyes, tears tracking down his face, and murder trailing down his voice like a lifeline, was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “Bobby has her. He said,” Sam paused and Dean could see the way his brother chocked on the words. “He’s back home. He’ll keep her for us.”
**
It was too far to drive in one night, too far and Dean was injured and grieving. He’d lost Dane so he had to take care of Sam, had to take care of the one sibling he had left. It wasn’t hard to move all that love and need into one person, wasn’t hard because he knew it was what Dane would have wanted him to do, no matter how they fought. His fingers itched for his brother as Sam went to get them a room for the night, but with his jacket thrown on no one could see the blood from his shoulder and Dean looked like he’d gone nine rounds in the boxing ring.
Sam tumbled through the door and Dean was instantly pushing the jacket down off his shoulders, pulling at his shirts to get a look at the damage the demon had done. Sam protested but whatever it was they’d been trying to d, kill Sam wasn’t one of them and his shoulder was already bound and wrapped up. Dean wanted to think Dane had managed to break free on that one, managed to get her little brother taken care of before the demon could hurt him again, but it was a foolish dream. If she’d been able to take control for even a minute she would never have-
“Dean?”
His hand was pressed to Sam’s side, his thumb brushing just underneath the bandage. He looked up and saw Sam, the pain and need bare for Dean to see. There was an ache in his voice and Dean did the only thing that made sense. He leaned up, pressing his lips, ever so softly to Sam’s.
“Sammy,” he breathed out, like there was finally something worth breathing again, like Sam was his world and it was right so long as he stayed right there, in Dean’s arms, ready to be touched.
Sam’s face cupped his and pulled him back in. He let Sam lead the kiss, his motions desperate and needy. It made Dean want to give him everything and Sam had never been one to take anything less than all Dean had to give.
He didn’t know which of them managed to get them to the bed, or who had the idea to get rid of their clothes, but as he pressed inside his brother’s body, he dropped his forehead against Sam’s, felt the heat of his large hand on the back of his neck, comforting and strong. “Tell me you want this,” he whispered through the gravel of his throat.
“Yes,” Sam’s answer was quiet but fierce, as if he knew Dean’s secret, knew and would keep it until the world’s end.
It didn’t take long, grief and pain and exhaustion eating away at their stamina and they were both sated, arms holding one another close as they breathed in time.
The tears came and went. Guilt passed between them like breath. Their arms wrapped around each other were the only constant in the night.
**
Bobby didn’t even let them in the door before he was handing them each a beer. They drank it without asking, knowing the slightly watered-down taste for what it was and understanding the need for such personal measures. Inside, Ruby sat tied down again. She was wet from where Bobby had obviously been working her over for information.
She looked up at the brothers, hair soaked, make up dripping, and a smile on her lips. “Oh Sammy, the wicked lies we tell…”
“Shut the hell up.” Dean demanded immediately.
“Dean, we could use-“
“No Bobby. Send her to hell Sammy.”
“Dean,”
“Sam, there’s nothing left to say to her.”
Sam grabbed the bucket of water sitting nearby and threw it on her, watching her body arch in pain. “That's for my sister you bitch!”
She smiled, one last tilt of her crooked smile. “Is it?”
The Latin rolled of Bobby’s tongue even more final than Sam’s and they were left with nothing but the hollow ache where their sister should be.
**
They sat on the back step, looking out into the junkyard passing a single bottle back and forth. They let Bobby deal with the body. He hadn’t said a word, just pushed them out the door to deal with their grief.
A shadow fell on their backs bit neither one moved, even as they both realized it wasn’t Bobby at their backs.
“You boys sure do know how to get yourself in a heap of trouble.”
“Missouri?”
Without word she led them back into the house and set them up on Bobby’s beat up couch. “You loved her something fierce,” she said softly.
Bobby was watching them all with a frown on his face but Dean ignored him. “She was my sister.” It was all the answer he had. If that didn’t explain heir pain then it wasn’t worth talking about.
“Dean, you don’t have a sister.”
Their heads jerked up, as if on string, and Dean’s lips were already pulled back in a snarl.
“She’s dead Bobby, don’t mess with us anymore. She was… I mean we had … but she was beautiful and,” Sam stumbled, gripping tightly to the back of Dean’s jacket as Dean dropped his hands between his knees and let his head sink. “I’m so sorry Dean. She was your twin and I can’t-“
“Sam. Dean.”
They both looked up at Missouri with her strong, soulful eyes and there was pain etched across her face as well. “No,” She said with a sad shake of her head. “She wasn’t.” She reached a hand out to theirs, where Dean hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed hold of Sam, and then everything went black.
**
He woke with the feel of someone else moving in the room. He pulled his arms closer, dragging Sam against his chest and felt his brother’s body answer, his legs tangling in Dean’s as if to keep anyone from getting between them.
He opened his eyes slightly and found Bobby standing over them, eyes like granite, sharp and watchful.
He closed his eyes and went back to sleep, not caring who saw the way he clung to the brother he knew was still his.
When he woke he was alone. He felt a moment of panic, but found Sam staring out the window as soon as he sat up on the bed. Sam didn’t say anything, didn’t announce that he knew Dean was even there, except that the tension in the room suddenly became thick enough he couldn’t breathe.
He got up and hit the shower, getting dressed before he had to go back and face Sam. He was still there, standing, watching. Waiting.
“It was all a lie,” Sam said softly.
Dean didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know what to tell his little brother. What they’d done, falling together in their grief, it wasn’t something he could undo. Hell, neither of them could say it wasn’t something they’d come close to a hundred other nights, but this time there was nothing to hide behind.
“No.”
“Wicked lies,” Sam answered without looking at him. “Which wicked lies to we believe in now Dean? She wasn’t real, just some damn spell to make us remember a sister we’d never had. Nothing that happened was-“
“Yes, it was. What happened was real Sammy. The fights, the…” rape. He couldn’t admit it, couldn’t say the words, but he felt his brother turn and he was looking up at Sam’s supportive eyes and knew that his brother had finally pieced that bit together. “It wasn’t all a lie.”
“No?”
Dean reached up, cupping Sam’s cheek as he brought their lips together. “No.”
“So what now?”
“Now Sammy?” Dean asked with a small grin. “Now, we go live out some of those wicked lies.”