(Not How It Starts, But-) How It Goes On

[hungrytiger11]

Oh, yay! Remix was fun this year and now that authors have been revealed, here's my remix from this year's ficathon!

Remix Title: (Not How it Starts, But-) How It Goes On Remix
Original Story: Chaff in the Wind
Original Author: weisquared 
Remix Author: hungrytiger11 
Warnings: war, death of children 
Characters/pairings: Hinata, Sakura, Neji, Shino, Kiba, Neji/Hinata
Summary

Comments

[jusrecht]

This is awesome. Your portrayal of Hinata and Neji... guh ♥_♥

[hungrytiger11]

Thank you!

[ishime]

Wow. The original fic was already awesome (empowered girls! politics! CLAN PLOTTING. Ninjas wanting a war for their interests. Fuck yes please) but your remix was made even more enjoyable by the fact that it gives the point of view of the clan-lady.
I love how you developed the "little girls being kidnapped" sentence, and your take on the Hyuuga seal is always interesting. And the use of Naruto's seal was brilliant. And creepy. ♥
(I was a bit weirded out by the backward storytelling, but it's mostly because I'm not used to it I guess.)

*nitpicking*
opposite the sixth hokage, Sakura, in a political stalemate
=> shouldn't it be "opposING the sixth hokage"?
*/nitpicking*

[hungrytiger11]

I'm always really excited when you read one of my Hyuuga-centric fic since I know they aren't your favorites so to hear you like them means a lot! Thanks!

Naruto politics are the so much fun, aren't they? So many ways it could go.

love how you developed the "little girls being kidnapped" sentence, Thanks. Since Hinata was kidnapped, it always makes sense to me that, even if no other Hyuugas ever get kidnapped, that in a lot of ways it would be a defining moment for her, so it comes up in almost every Hintat story I have. I'll probably become repetitious about it one day, but until then...! l

The backwards storytelling is different; I'd never done it before, so am not sure how well it worked....interesting writing challenge though.

shouldn't it be "opposING the sixth hokage"? This would work. I feel saying "opposite the sixth hokage" works too because its where she is- on the opposite side of the political argument, the opposite side of the stalemate.

[ishime]

I don't like Hinata very much because she doesn't seem to have a spine to me. (Though I was very pleasantly surprised when she came and stood up to Pain.) From what I've seen, you write her in a way that gives her a spine, or that makes said spine a lot more apparent. Your Hinata never feels helpless. She may start weak, but she still takes things in her own hands.
Aaaaand she's a Hyuuga, and you write a lot of things about her clan with her as a character. So yeah, I like your Hinata.

Oh - so you can just say "opposite the sixth hokage", without a "of" or anything? Sorry - I thought it was a a name, not a preposition. (Tricky English.)

[hungrytiger11]

Backbones are a must, its true.

WIth all we're learning about the Team Ten clans, it seems like they'd become more interesting to do a clan story about too, don't you think?

English is definitely a bizarre thing. As for the word opposite, you use the word without "of" when you are describing position. We put the word "opposite" before the noun (Sakura) when we are talking about things that naturally face or contrast each other. In this case Hinata's place opposite Sakura. Another example is " Rita Hayworth often stars opposite John Ford." or "we are arguing on opposite sides."If you already have mentioned on of the two contrasting things you can put the word "opposite" behind the noun (for example " I noticed the man opposite was staring").

You would use the preposition "of" when you are talking about words that are opposites ("Short is the opposite of tall.")