Fic: D-Day Minus Zero

[huldrejenta]

Author: huldrejenta
Title: D-Day Minus Zero
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters & Pairings: Alice, Frank and Neville Longbottom, Alice/Frank
Rating & Warnings: PG
Word Count: ~ 1500
Summary: Soon the shadows are going to claim her. Soon her world is going to disappear. Soon. But not yet.
Notes: This was written for the 2014 hp_silencio, and it was a very interesting

Comments

[nia_kantorka]

One of my favourites from Silencio and such a wonderful story! ♥

[huldrejenta]

Thank you so much, you're so sweet ♥
I was very happy when I saw your lovely rec earlier in Rectober, and I really wanted to comment on it ;)

[nia_kantorka]

I'm just glad you saw it. :D

[huldrejenta]

Me too :) Thank you so much ♥

[unicorngirl22]

Aaah this was heartbreaking! So terribly sad.
You did a wonderful job with this. Somehow the terror of what's to come is even worse when you show us their last day before everything went wrong, all the details and future plans. And Neville, OMG, now I love him even more!!

[huldrejenta]

Oh yes, what happened to the Longbottoms is heartbreaking. I'm glad you liked the fic even though it's sad. And writing this made me feel even more for Neville <3
Thanks!

[shimotsuki]

This is beautiful -- such quiet intimacy in these scenes. It probably would have taken me a while to notice that there's no dialogue if you hadn't mentioned it, because even without dialogue, the story flows so naturally.

Her lips are careful not to wake him -- that's such a wonderful line.

Of course it's terribly sad to see how happy they are, how much love there is in this little family, and how, now that Voldemort is gone, Alice is starting to feel a tentative sense of hope for the future -- while the relentless countdown that starts each section keeps reminding us that the end is coming. But that contrast that you set up is really powerful, and makes this piece really striking.

Little Neville is so sweet, too, and it's sad that (just like Harry) he missed growing up with parents who would have loved him this much.

[huldrejenta]

Thank you :)
I'm really glad you feel this has a natural flow without any dialogue! It became very obvious to me while writing this that I often use dialogue as a way of building tension, of changing the atmosphere or explaining things without having to tell everything. And I suppose it's rather common to use dialogue like this. Finding ways of doing this without dialogue was a fun challenge.

What happened to the Longbottoms is so tragic - I know I've said it before, but oh my, is JKR cruel to that whole generation!

Thank you for your lovely comment!

[starfishstar]

Lovely and reflective - especially Alice's thoughts about sharing a bed with Frank, about their home as their safe haven, and about Neville's innocent happiness in that way of small children, "Every movement and every gesture is born out of seeing the world as good. Knowing only safety. Meeting only love." And oh, her cautious but joyous hope despite the horrors they've been through!

I like how you used the repeated "[X number] hours before..." structure not only to show how the day is passing now, but also to slip in the story of what happens directly after this; in a sense, we get two stories being told at once.

And I love that you gave them that moment to say goodbye to Neville at the end. I'd always assumed the Death Eaters attacked them with no warning, so it's wonderful to see them get at least that bit of agency: kissing Neville goodbye, sending him to safety with his grandmother.

[huldrejenta]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment <3

I really like that you find the scene near the end, where they get to say goodbye to Neville, to be comforting. To me, I almost found it even sadder when I imagined it this way, I'm not sure why, and it's so interesting and great when people read something different into a scene!

[starfishstar]

You know, I think it's because I always read canon as saying that Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters ambushed Alice and Frank, attacked them completed unexpectedly, just when the war was over and everyone thought everything was fine now (much like Lily and James, who thought they were safe in their own house and thus weren't prepared to defend themselves).

Here, though, you've given them agency: They're needed in their capacity as Aurors, so they make the choice to go, and at least they get to choose how and in what form they say goodbye to Neville and send him to safety. I'm not sure if I'm quite able to believe it's how it *did* happen, but I like it!

(It's entirely possible my view is influenced by having in my head stereolightning's headcanon of how it went down - which also has a great version of how Alice takes action to protect Neville!)

[starfishstar]

That was meant to be a response to your previous comment, but clearly it didn't work, ugh! I hate technology...

[huldrejenta]

You know, it's funny you should mention that, because in an earlier draft of this story, I had the ending pointing towards the two of them getting attacked even more suddenly and unprepared. The main reason why I changed it is more that I felt it worked better the way it is now within this story and with his way of telling the story. The important thing with story for me was showing their last day before it went wrong more than how it happened afterwards. I believe I've read somewhere that Frank was kidnapped first, and then Alice a little later. I think it's plausible that Dumbledore could think that the danger wasn't over. But of course the kidnapping might very well have happened inside the Longbottoms' home with no reason to suspect any danger. Either way they probably had no way of expecting the number of attackers or their plans. The level of evil - Hermione didn't seem to have any late effects of the Crutiatus she received, so for two Aurors to lose it like Frank and Alice, would need some pretty twisted minds and persistence

[starfishstar]

Yes, I like how you've done this - building up references (to the things they've done before, to the way things have been, the habits they've developed) over the course of the day, so that the choices Alice makes at the end make perfect sense.

I too could talk about Harry Potter characters' motivations all day long. :-)