"Walking Elizabeth Home" Cam/Elizabeth Fic (9/12)
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate of course, the grand high Mucky Mucks do, nevertheless, no copyright infringement is intended. No money was made from this, and any similarity to any other story not my own is coincidence.
Title: Walking Elizabeth Home
Genre: Fluff/romance; smut
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Sometime early season 4 for SGA
Note: Spoilers for the cast change that most know about, but just so you're warned, I used the spoilers and ran with them. Also, while the fic is rated NC-17 over-all, I think that maybe you could read everything but those parts and still get the gist of the story, since, honestly, it's just a relationship plot. Also, I used an adapted reference to "Why Humans Have Sex;" Buss, David. M; Meston, Cindy, M.
The colonel stepped into the officers Mess, not really expecting to see Elizabeth. He hesitated at the doorway, not certain if he should join her. He had given up actively seeking her out when it turned out to be surprisingly impossible to find her after their night and the following morning in his quarters. Then she looked up and saw him, an indecipherable look coloring her eyes.
Cameron took a quick breath and stepped through the doorway.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said as conversationally as he could.
Elizabeth ducked her eyes, looking down to the tablet in her hand.
“I…”
“No, no it’s okay,” he assured her quickly, trying to mean it.
“I’m sorry.”
“No really, it’s okay,” he repeated, still standing with his tray in hand. “It’s almost impressive really,” he tried to joke. “I mean, it’s not like the Odyssey’s a big ship. You’d think there were only so many places to hide.”
Elizabeth looked up.
It was Cameron’s turn to apologize. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. That was uncalled for.”
He settled himself in the chair across from her and set his tray down.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“No… no, you’re right. I have been… avoiding you, Colonel. And it is… that is…” she sighed, uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “I’m sorry…” she offered instead.
Cameron nodded.
“We should… we should talk?” she half asked, her voice still uncertain.
Again Cameron nodded silently.
“I’m… grateful, Colonel. That night was…” Elizabeth said, hesitancy making her words inelegant.
“It’s okay, Elizabeth. We don’t have to talk about it,” he offered then, hearing the way that she tripped over her words. He watched Elizabeth’s face.
She gave him another indecipherable look.
“On one condition.”
“Condition?”
“My name is Cameron…” he said. “We don’t have to talk about this, but there’s no way I’m letting it go back to being Colonel Mitchell and Doctor Weir. Agreed?”
She smiled hesitantly and then nodded.
“Okay… okay then,” he said before taking a breath. He met her eyes. “We’re okay,” he assured her. She nodded quietly.
They fell into a silence that gradually became comfortable again. Elizabeth turned back to her reading and Colonel Mitchell eyed the food on his tray. Eventually, he shoved the tray to the side, causing Elizabeth to raise an eyebrow in askance.
“There’s only so many times you can eat powdered eggs and pancakes for breakfast,” he explained. “I really wish that they had all the bugs worked out of the system and we could use the Asgard replicators without the fear of them causing some catastrophic power failure or blowing up something.” He looked at her hopefully. “I don’t suppose you know about Asgard technology as well as the Ancients?”
Elizabeth gave him a small smile and a shake of her head. “I’m afraid not,” she replied. “Just what I’ve read in the reports.”
Cameron sighed. “Where’s Daniel Jackson when you need him.”
Elizabeth smiled again. “When is Vala due again?” she asked.
“Should be any day now,” Cameron answered. He grinned. “She’s probably driving Jackson nuts.” He sobered a little. “And just when I got the band back together.”
He made a sound close to a sigh.
“Well there’s still Teal’c,” he said. “He should be back by the time we arrive. And Jackson’ll be around the SGC, even if he’s not on the team for a while.”
He gave her a wry grin. “Hell, Vala’ll probably be trying to tag along, kid in tow if she can get away with it.”
Elizabeth smiled.
“But it won’t be the same.”
“No… no, it won’t be,” Elizabeth agreed before they both fell into another thoughtful silence.
Cameron was the first to break it.
“So,” he said with a small nod to her tablet. “More Solitaire?” he risked asking.
“Umm… actually, no,” she replied, quietly hoping that he didn’t pursue it further.
But Cameron gave her an expectant look and Elizabeth sighed, turning the tablet so that he could read it.
“Why Humans Have Sex?” he half read, half asked. He didn’t know whether to laugh or weep at the twisted humor of the universe.
Elizabeth flushed, not really meeting his eyes, and Cameron watched as it painted her skin a soft pink. He knew that he should let it go. He was almost certain that she would happily latch onto any other topic of conversation that he offered. He was sure that he should really let it go, but a part of him didn’t want to. That part of him he could admit, to himself at least, really did want to talk about what had happened between them. Almost more importantly, the part of him that really wanted to have it happen again, wanted to talk about it. He knew that he should let it go, but he didn’t.
“I thought that you had already finished reading that?” Cameron asked, wanting her to continue the conversation and curious to see if she would.
She was silent a moment, and the colonel was certain that she would ignore the gambit. So she surprised him when she answered. “I did,” she admitted. “I’m re-reading it.”
“So,” he drawled, leaning back a little in his chair. “Why do humans have sex?” he asked.
Elizabeth met his eyes and he saw her rise to his challenge.
She leaned back a little herself and crossed her arms in front of her.
“It feels good,” she said.
“It does,” he agreed.
“And sometime people just let the attraction they feel for each other take over, regardless of the consequences.”
“Heat of the moment,” Cameron offered.
“Heat of the moment.”
“What about affection?”
“There’s affection,” she agreed.
“Desire?” he asked in a deep voice.
“I think… that goes without saying,” Elizabeth replied.
He met her eyes. “And love?”
She licked her lips and answered, “Possibly.”
“So,” he continued slowly. “If there’s all that, love, desire, attraction… and assuming that they’re two unattached, consenting adults, why wouldn’t two people make love?”
He waited quietly for her response.
“Like I said before, consequences; responsibilities,” she replied.
“Those might be considerations,” Cameron conceded. “But what if there’s something else? What if it’s fear?”
“Sometimes the fear is justified,” Elizabeth countered. “Maybe one of the individuals doesn’t want to hurt the other one.”
“Or be hurt?”
“Or be hurt,” she agreed.
“Or maybe the fear’s a little deeper than that, a little bit more personal,” Cameron suggested. “Maybe one of them has been hurt before… emotionally I mean. Or hurt someone else that way?”
“Possibly.”
“Possibly.” Cameron leaned forward. “Or possibly one of them is scared to be in love. Scared of what it could do. Scared of what it feels like when it goes wrong, or gets lost?”
“Even if it goes right, love can be a scary thing,” Elizabeth countered. “It can be overwhelming; consuming.”
“Some people might say that those are good things; when you find the other half of your soul so to speak,” Cameron argued. “I mean, look at Daniel and Vala. Love’s not exactly been easy on either of them I suspect, but I bet you, either one of them would say that it’s worth it. Crazy as the idea of those two are together, they make a perfect sort of sense.”
“Besides,” the colonel added. “If there really is affection, and attraction, and desire, maybe even love, and you don’t act on it, you can still get hurt.”
Elizabeth listened quietly, her eyes unreadable.
“Remember how I said I never dated the Head Cheerleader?”
Elizabeth nodded.
“Do you know why I never dated her?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “No why?”
“Because I never told Amy how I felt about her. I never asked her out; never kissed her next to the bleachers after Homecoming; never walked her home after school, even though I knew her class schedule by heart. I let all that other stuff get in the way; all the fear and the what ifs.”
Cameron leaned back in his chair again. “And maybe it’s kind of silly, but that always haunted me a little. I always kind of wondered, what if?” He took a moment, watching Elizabeth.
Then he said, “And do you want to know the really sad part? I found out, years later, that the whole time I had been secretly,” he said, getting a rueful grin. “Or not so secretly, as the case may be, wanting Amy, she had been wanting me too.”
The colonel caught Elizabeth’s gaze with his own.
“And that just makes all the what ifs a little more profound and a lot more sad,” he said. “I don’t want any more what ifs, even if it means I get a little busted up along the way. You have to watch out for the what ifs, Liz, otherwise your life just becomes a big question without any answers.”
Cameron scooped up his tray and got up from the table.
“Enjoy your reading, Elizabeth,” he said gently by way parting and left the Mess leaving behind a very thoughtful Elizabeth…
Title: Walking Elizabeth Home
Genre: Fluff/romance; smut
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Sometime early season 4 for SGA
Note: Spoilers for the cast change that most know about, but just so you're warned, I used the spoilers and ran with them. Also, while the fic is rated NC-17 over-all, I think that maybe you could read everything but those parts and still get the gist of the story, since, honestly, it's just a relationship plot. Also, I used an adapted reference to "Why Humans Have Sex;" Buss, David. M; Meston, Cindy, M.
The colonel stepped into the officers Mess, not really expecting to see Elizabeth. He hesitated at the doorway, not certain if he should join her. He had given up actively seeking her out when it turned out to be surprisingly impossible to find her after their night and the following morning in his quarters. Then she looked up and saw him, an indecipherable look coloring her eyes.
Cameron took a quick breath and stepped through the doorway.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said as conversationally as he could.
Elizabeth ducked her eyes, looking down to the tablet in her hand.
“I…”
“No, no it’s okay,” he assured her quickly, trying to mean it.
“I’m sorry.”
“No really, it’s okay,” he repeated, still standing with his tray in hand. “It’s almost impressive really,” he tried to joke. “I mean, it’s not like the Odyssey’s a big ship. You’d think there were only so many places to hide.”
Elizabeth looked up.
It was Cameron’s turn to apologize. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. That was uncalled for.”
He settled himself in the chair across from her and set his tray down.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“No… no, you’re right. I have been… avoiding you, Colonel. And it is… that is…” she sighed, uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “I’m sorry…” she offered instead.
Cameron nodded.
“We should… we should talk?” she half asked, her voice still uncertain.
Again Cameron nodded silently.
“I’m… grateful, Colonel. That night was…” Elizabeth said, hesitancy making her words inelegant.
“It’s okay, Elizabeth. We don’t have to talk about it,” he offered then, hearing the way that she tripped over her words. He watched Elizabeth’s face.
She gave him another indecipherable look.
“On one condition.”
“Condition?”
“My name is Cameron…” he said. “We don’t have to talk about this, but there’s no way I’m letting it go back to being Colonel Mitchell and Doctor Weir. Agreed?”
She smiled hesitantly and then nodded.
“Okay… okay then,” he said before taking a breath. He met her eyes. “We’re okay,” he assured her. She nodded quietly.
They fell into a silence that gradually became comfortable again. Elizabeth turned back to her reading and Colonel Mitchell eyed the food on his tray. Eventually, he shoved the tray to the side, causing Elizabeth to raise an eyebrow in askance.
“There’s only so many times you can eat powdered eggs and pancakes for breakfast,” he explained. “I really wish that they had all the bugs worked out of the system and we could use the Asgard replicators without the fear of them causing some catastrophic power failure or blowing up something.” He looked at her hopefully. “I don’t suppose you know about Asgard technology as well as the Ancients?”
Elizabeth gave him a small smile and a shake of her head. “I’m afraid not,” she replied. “Just what I’ve read in the reports.”
Cameron sighed. “Where’s Daniel Jackson when you need him.”
Elizabeth smiled again. “When is Vala due again?” she asked.
“Should be any day now,” Cameron answered. He grinned. “She’s probably driving Jackson nuts.” He sobered a little. “And just when I got the band back together.”
He made a sound close to a sigh.
“Well there’s still Teal’c,” he said. “He should be back by the time we arrive. And Jackson’ll be around the SGC, even if he’s not on the team for a while.”
He gave her a wry grin. “Hell, Vala’ll probably be trying to tag along, kid in tow if she can get away with it.”
Elizabeth smiled.
“But it won’t be the same.”
“No… no, it won’t be,” Elizabeth agreed before they both fell into another thoughtful silence.
Cameron was the first to break it.
“So,” he said with a small nod to her tablet. “More Solitaire?” he risked asking.
“Umm… actually, no,” she replied, quietly hoping that he didn’t pursue it further.
But Cameron gave her an expectant look and Elizabeth sighed, turning the tablet so that he could read it.
“Why Humans Have Sex?” he half read, half asked. He didn’t know whether to laugh or weep at the twisted humor of the universe.
Elizabeth flushed, not really meeting his eyes, and Cameron watched as it painted her skin a soft pink. He knew that he should let it go. He was almost certain that she would happily latch onto any other topic of conversation that he offered. He was sure that he should really let it go, but a part of him didn’t want to. That part of him he could admit, to himself at least, really did want to talk about what had happened between them. Almost more importantly, the part of him that really wanted to have it happen again, wanted to talk about it. He knew that he should let it go, but he didn’t.
“I thought that you had already finished reading that?” Cameron asked, wanting her to continue the conversation and curious to see if she would.
She was silent a moment, and the colonel was certain that she would ignore the gambit. So she surprised him when she answered. “I did,” she admitted. “I’m re-reading it.”
“So,” he drawled, leaning back a little in his chair. “Why do humans have sex?” he asked.
Elizabeth met his eyes and he saw her rise to his challenge.
She leaned back a little herself and crossed her arms in front of her.
“It feels good,” she said.
“It does,” he agreed.
“And sometime people just let the attraction they feel for each other take over, regardless of the consequences.”
“Heat of the moment,” Cameron offered.
“Heat of the moment.”
“What about affection?”
“There’s affection,” she agreed.
“Desire?” he asked in a deep voice.
“I think… that goes without saying,” Elizabeth replied.
He met her eyes. “And love?”
She licked her lips and answered, “Possibly.”
“So,” he continued slowly. “If there’s all that, love, desire, attraction… and assuming that they’re two unattached, consenting adults, why wouldn’t two people make love?”
He waited quietly for her response.
“Like I said before, consequences; responsibilities,” she replied.
“Those might be considerations,” Cameron conceded. “But what if there’s something else? What if it’s fear?”
“Sometimes the fear is justified,” Elizabeth countered. “Maybe one of the individuals doesn’t want to hurt the other one.”
“Or be hurt?”
“Or be hurt,” she agreed.
“Or maybe the fear’s a little deeper than that, a little bit more personal,” Cameron suggested. “Maybe one of them has been hurt before… emotionally I mean. Or hurt someone else that way?”
“Possibly.”
“Possibly.” Cameron leaned forward. “Or possibly one of them is scared to be in love. Scared of what it could do. Scared of what it feels like when it goes wrong, or gets lost?”
“Even if it goes right, love can be a scary thing,” Elizabeth countered. “It can be overwhelming; consuming.”
“Some people might say that those are good things; when you find the other half of your soul so to speak,” Cameron argued. “I mean, look at Daniel and Vala. Love’s not exactly been easy on either of them I suspect, but I bet you, either one of them would say that it’s worth it. Crazy as the idea of those two are together, they make a perfect sort of sense.”
“Besides,” the colonel added. “If there really is affection, and attraction, and desire, maybe even love, and you don’t act on it, you can still get hurt.”
Elizabeth listened quietly, her eyes unreadable.
“Remember how I said I never dated the Head Cheerleader?”
Elizabeth nodded.
“Do you know why I never dated her?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “No why?”
“Because I never told Amy how I felt about her. I never asked her out; never kissed her next to the bleachers after Homecoming; never walked her home after school, even though I knew her class schedule by heart. I let all that other stuff get in the way; all the fear and the what ifs.”
Cameron leaned back in his chair again. “And maybe it’s kind of silly, but that always haunted me a little. I always kind of wondered, what if?” He took a moment, watching Elizabeth.
Then he said, “And do you want to know the really sad part? I found out, years later, that the whole time I had been secretly,” he said, getting a rueful grin. “Or not so secretly, as the case may be, wanting Amy, she had been wanting me too.”
The colonel caught Elizabeth’s gaze with his own.
“And that just makes all the what ifs a little more profound and a lot more sad,” he said. “I don’t want any more what ifs, even if it means I get a little busted up along the way. You have to watch out for the what ifs, Liz, otherwise your life just becomes a big question without any answers.”
Cameron scooped up his tray and got up from the table.
“Enjoy your reading, Elizabeth,” he said gently by way parting and left the Mess leaving behind a very thoughtful Elizabeth…