This Mortal Coil (3/3) - a gift for inadaze22

[kalina_blue]

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. All fics posted at this community were written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Title: This Mortal Coil (3/3)
Author: Terrayn (pinch-hitter)
Gift for: inadaze22
Rating: R
Word Count: 23,965
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Warnings: unconventional point-of-view,

Comments

[aigooism]

Meep. We can see the author!

[kalina_blue]

Gah, I knew this would happen at some point. Thanks for telling me. I hope not too many people saw this. *headdesk*

[aigooism]

It's okay! We all make mistakes. ^^;

[inspired_ideas]

Interesting use of first person perspective and an interesting mystery as well. Nicely done, mystery author!

[terrayn]

Thank you! This was something of an experiment in writing style and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[inadaze22]

I really liked this. The first person voice was really unique. I liked how it was like he was talking to her. And elephants have long memories because their brains are denser than ours and their temporal lobes, which is associated to memory, are more formed than ours. Random Psych information FTW. I knew I learned something in cognitive psychology. Anyway, I was only a tad bit confused by the end, I think the italics of the very last line is something she's saying to him (as well as a lyric). I'm hoping that's the case. I think it's funny that he's trying to shove her off as he's telling her he has feelings for her. Lol. So Draco. Anyway. I really liked this: the tone, the feel, the everything. Lovely work mystery author! Can't wait to find out who you are :D

[terrayn]

Haha, Kalina mentioned that you'd written something really long, so it's a good thing I was pinch-hitting for you with something also really long. Oh! So the opening and ending line in italics are Hermione sitting at the bar talking to Draco.

Thank you very much! I hoped you'd enjoy the slightly off-kilter first-person. Haha, you're very right about elephant brains (another psych major, for the win!) but I didn't think Draco or Hermione would know without a bio or psych class in sight at Hogwarts. XD I will change the line for the er, more edited version. Now that reveals are up, I can tell you...hi, I'm Terra. :)

[vipersweb]

This was a fabulous ride. I like that you haven't changed Draco - i.e. he is not enamored with Potter or Weasley or even thrilled to be working with Hermione and for the benefit of House Elves. I like that it makes sense that he was jealous of Hermione during their Hogwarts years and that that translated into an attraction later on. I like that we got to see their relationship develop during Draco's confession to Hermione and that, despite this being from Draco's POV, we can see Hermione's feelings towards him developing. Nicely done!

[terrayn]

Thank you for reading! Yes, I love writing disgruntled, snarky Draco who'll only fall for Hermione fighting his feelings tooth and nail every step of the way. XD

[dollfaced]

I love the unique way you use first person, being in Draco's mind is so awesome. And the mystery was very well done too. Excellent job :D

[terrayn]

*snickers* Thank you, my dear!!!!