Comments | hp_literotica: Fic: Fallen (Severus/Draco, PG)

kethlenda in hp_literotica

Fic: Fallen (Severus/Draco, PG)

Jan 08, 2006 00:42

Title: Fallen
Author: kethlenda
Rating: PG
Pairing: Snape/Draco with hints of Snape/Lucius and Snape/Narcissa
Warnings: Angst, HBP spoilers
Notes: Written for aconite at harry_holidays 2005. ETA: forgot to credit my beta; the lovely and patient sionnain.

( No one deserves to be damned for one's adolescent stupidities. )

titles: a-l, draco malfoy, snape/draco, severus snape, kethlenda

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Comments 7

The last line is a killer one jazzypom January 8 2006, 02:20:32 UTC

As for anything further-well, Severus has the patience of a potion-maker.

Liked your use of archetypes (I've said this before), it gives this fic a depth that it wouldn't have had otherwise. I'm torn with the extent of the italics though, in one way I appreciate it because it shows that Snape's past is always interacting and influencing the way how he sees the present, but in another way, because there was more italics than regular font, it seemed more dreamlike than real? So the end wasn't as strong as it could be?

But it's still a good piece, I stayed until the end, which is a big thing for me nowadays. Well done!

Re: The last line is a killer one kethlenda January 8 2006, 06:35:44 UTC

You know, actually, I agree with you completely. The thing that drove me nuts about this story while I was writing it was that I was trying to write a budding relationship between Severus and Draco, and instead my Sev!muse wanted to ramble on about his past. ;) Not sure which would have worked better, just putting that stuff in regular font, or dropping it and making the muse cooperate and write Snape/Draco instead of Snape!gen.

Anyway, thank you for your comments and for the insightful concrit. I can see why you make such a good beta. :)

(The comment has been removed)

kethlenda January 8 2006, 06:36:13 UTC

Thank you. :)

underlucius January 11 2006, 05:59:11 UTC

I love the way you have Severus thinking all the way through this, the way he visualises Lucius and Narcissa, knowing them better than Draco. The blood on the hands, the hidden horns.

And the "carefree bachelors" line. Wonderful.

Thank you for posting here!
xxx

kethlenda January 11 2006, 09:47:50 UTC

Thank you!

Fallen ravenpan January 19 2006, 11:20:26 UTC

This... Wow *deep breath*. The imagery, the emotion, the weaving of past and present and anything inbetween. The desperation, the despair, the hope, and hope dashed... the pride. This is so beautiful, so amazingly heart-rendingly GORGEOUS and REAL. Amazing.

Re: Fallen kethlenda January 19 2006, 14:53:38 UTC

Thank you so much omg!

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