Comments | hp_holidaygen: fic for <strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/jackiejlh">jackiejlh</a></strong>: the tick-tick-ticking of your heart (1/2)

genficsanta in hp_holidaygen

fic for jackiejlh: the tick-tick-ticking of your heart (1/2)

Dec 22, 2009 10:44

Title: the tick-tick-ticking of your heart (1/2)
Author: fly_to_dawn
Recipient: jackiejlh
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Marlene McKinnon, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Longbottom, Sybill Trelawney, Andromeda Tonks, others.
Warnings: Mild violence and gore.
Summary: In which Minerva hopes, Marlene needs Firewhisky, Sybill dreams, and Alice checks Frank's pulse. A night in ( Read more... )

!fic, character: sybill trewlawney, !2009, character: marlene mckinnon, character: minerva mcgonagall, character: alice longbottom, character: andromeda tonks

Comments 4

vegablack62 December 22 2009, 22:43:04 UTC

Lovely start to the story -- strong characters and very realistic and engrossing development to your piece. I love Marlene, and Emeline, especially. They are extremely well drawn.

norisis December 22 2009, 23:04:43 UTC

I was so excited to see this - I adore "original" Order stories, especially because I myself have tried to write it and struggled with the plotty side of things. So I did enjoy reading your take on how the Order might have worked - for example, the fact that they know there's going to be an attack but can't even begin to speculate because everyoe is a target... ouch. But it rings so true.

I enjoyed the banter between Marlene, Hestia and Emmeline - it's especially bittersweet knowing that the latter two will end up surviving Marlene, and Frank and Alice don't get the chance to have a big family/get Orders of Merlin like they predict. I thought Marlene was a well-realised character, I liked the details of her failed Auror training and her turning to Firewhiskey to get her through the day, but feeling guilty about doing it on the job.

Lots of great lines here - like Sirius being more likeable without James, and "Take care - of your liver", hehe. Now to part 2!

kellychambliss December 26 2009, 20:56:32 UTC

Very engrossing so far. As the others have said, you do a fine job establishing complex personalities for the name-only's, and your canon people are nicely IC, too. Well-written and paced.

werewolfsfan December 28 2009, 16:27:38 UTC

I'm totally intrigued. I adore reading First War tales and this is awesome so far. These name only characters are already vivid to me here. I found this especially poignant:

For the first time in months, Marlene found herself contemplating a future that was neither three hours nor three decades away.